Fandom: Victorious

Title: Point of View

Chapter 27

Point of View: Cat Valentine

March 2023

"Cat, do you need anything?"

"Hold my hand, Jade. Please."

"You got it, sweetie." Jade rubs my bare leg as I lay on the exam table. "I'm so nervous. I want these DNA results to be here already."

Taking my hand into hers, Jade kisses my fingers, which I wrap around hers. "I know, honey."

My mom stops pacing and comes over to the table. "Can I ask you something, Cat?" Nervously I reply. "Yeah, but I can't promise you'll like my answer if the question is invasive."

"What do you hope to come from doing this paternity test?"

"Answers, Mom."

"Answers to what, Cat? We already know you are pregnant. Does it matter who the father is?"

"Yes, mom, to me, it does. I can't handle having a child by the bastard who raped me. It will be hard enough to be a teen mom, but to raise a child who could look like the boy who raped me, held me down, and violated me. I can't, mom. You have no idea how scared I am every day, but I choose to push on."

"I don't know who to trust. Every male voice makes me jump; their hands make me tense up. I'm having flashbacks and panic attacks. The girls call me a slut and tell me I asked for this to happen."

"Jade and I were attempting to be intimate, and I just broke down crying and told her I couldn't. Thank God Jade understood and didn't ask for any details. She held me and kissed my forehead. But do you know how inadequate how broken that makes me feel knowing I can't make love to someone who has been nothing but supportive to me?"

Jade leans, kisses my cheek, and runs her fingers down the other side whispering. "I told you, sweetheart, there's no rush. We have the rest of our lives to be with each other. You need time to heal and process what happened, physically, mentally, and emotionally."

Looking at Jade, I feel my throat closing. Her cheeks are sullen. She's lost so much weight her clothes barely fit her anymore. She's sick constantly and becoming weaker by the day. None of the cocktails Dr. McMullan has prescribed for her have worked.

How many days does she have left? How much time can I take knowing she might not be able to make love by the time my body and mind are healed?

My mom looks crushed by my words. "Oh, Cat. I never knew you felt like this; I'm sorry I have been so focused on Sutton's case and the search for him."

"There still isn't any word, Mom?"

"No, sweetie. Wherever your brother ran off to, he's deep in hiding. You will be honest with me, Cat. If he contacts you?"

"Yes, Mom. I will be Sutton killed CJ and shot Jade. I want him to get the help he needs, not to be gunned down in the streets running from the cops."

"Mom, you will be honest with the cops if he contacts you, won't you?"

"Yes, honey, of course. I feel the same way you do, but your father. He's a different story."

"Does daddy hate me? He won't look at me, Mom. I know he blames me for being raped. He already said Sutton wouldn't be in this mess if I had kept my legs closed. I-I didn't ask for this to happen."

Mom strokes my cheek. "I know, baby girl. No woman asks to be raped. This isn't your fault. None of this; your brother has been sick for a while. Your father refuses to admit it, and I was tired of fighting him. We failed Sutton, not you. His reaction was a result of his illness. Maybe he wouldn't have snapped if we had been better parents and more attentive. Jade. I am so sorry. If I did my job as Sutton's mother, you wouldn't have heart failure."

Taking deep breaths, Jade shakes her head. "Don't blame yourself for his actions. Sutton knew right from wrong. Even the best parents can't predict their children's reactions or emotions. You aren't a bad mother. Just because you work a lot doesn't mean you are a bad parent. All parents need to provide for their families. Your work provides a roof, food, clothes, and everything they have. Some jobs require more time and dedication."

"Thank You, Jade."

Laying her head down by my head Jade sighs. "Cat?" there's a knock on the door and my doctor's voice calls out. "Yes, come on in. Dr. Westbourne."

My Gynecologist steps inside, smiling at me. "Hello, darling, how are you doing today? Any nerves?"

"YES!"

"I understand it's a scary time. We can ease some of your fears today. We will be doing a noninvasive prenatal paternity test (NIPP): This test analyzes fetal DNA found in a pregnant woman's blood during the first trimester. A lab specialist compares the fetal DNA information to DNA from the potential father's cheek cell sample."

"We don't have Noah's, but Terry submitted his; he's hoping it proves he isn't the father. This can help his case because he's claiming he never raped you or got it inside."

"How long before we get the results?"

"8 to 10 days generally."

"That's so long." She nods as she gets the needle ready. Jade squeezes my hand. "I'm here, relax. Squeeze my hand when you need to, Cat. Remember to breathe.'

"Thanks, Jade. Sometimes it's so hard to breathe."

"You're telling me? I'm the one with the bummed heart."

"Cat, if the baby isn't Noah's, what do you plan to do?"

"I don't know yet, Mom—adoption maybe or abortion. I know I can't have a baby at sixteen. I'm not ready."

"Your brother thought the same thing, Cat. If he had given up his baby we wouldn't have Matt or Carter."

"MOM!"

"Cat, I'm sorry I don't want to pressure you, but please try to consider all your options."

"I am tough. But there is something about the thought of having to hear a heartbeat coming from my own body, which did not belong to me. I couldn't go through with it. Not if the baby came from something as vile as a forced act of sex."

"The baby is innocent, Cat."

"So was I, Mom! Terry stole my innocence; if I am pregnant by him, I will always remember how it felt when he was inside of me, laughing at me, violating me. This baby will be a constant reminder of that night."

"Mrs. Valentine. I need to ask you to either please stop upsetting my patient, or I will be forced to ask you to leave."

"Sorry, of course. I don't want my daughter upset."

She has a funny way of showing me her concern when she's here condemning me for every thought and feeling.

I say a prayer as I lie back on the table, squeezing Jade's hands.

"Lord Jesus, I ask you to give me peace in mind, body, soul, and spirit. I want you to heal and remove everything causing stress, grief, and sorrow in my life. Please guide my path through life and make this all make sense."

It's in God's hands now. All I can do is turn my faith and trust over to his hands.