It had been a month since Edward Cullen left, a month of silence from her almost family who left her here in Forks. The first week Bella had left her in a confused and devastated state of mind, which as the days progressed turned to depression.

She started to seclude herself from her "friends" at school, but her best friend Angela had continued to be polite and was obviously worried.

There were nights when Charlie had run up to Bella's room due to her nightmares. He had even contemplated taking some time off of work to keep a closer eye on her if things didn't improve soon.

Bella closed her laptop with a heavy sigh. She was hoping for a reply from one of the many pleas and daily wonderings she had sent to Alice almost every day since but there was still nothing, and no indication that she even opened them.

Glancing over at her nightstand clock, she groaned at the early hour of 7:23 am. It was sunday so there was nothing to keep her day occupied. This is going to be a long day. Looking around at her room, she knew she needed to clean it up, but it was becoming an obstacle getting around to anything lately.

Everyday she felt a knot in her stomach that felt like it was trying to gnaw its way through…but time was still passing and like the saying goes time stands still for no man. Bella knew the Cullens weren't going to come back, that they really just left after what happened with the horrid events of her birthday night. She still missed them all so much, and the feeling of abandonment was not a pretty color that clouded her thoughts from time to time.

"Bella come down here please!" Charlie called. She thought he sounded more tired lately, and that only added to her guilt and sadness since it was most likely her fault. Must I continuously let people down?

Swinging her legs over her green blanket and touching the cold wood floor, she straightened her sleeping shorts and tshirt before slowly making her way downstairs and into the kitchen.

She couldn't think of what Charlie wanted to talk about so early in the morning, considering that they hadn't had a real conversation for a month. For Charlie it was between feeling awkward and wanting to give Bella space, and for her she couldn't be bothered to talk much unless asked a direct question.

" Yes dad?" Bella questioned once she sat down at the dining room table. Charlie put down a cup of coffee and some toast in front of her, and just had a cup of coffee for himself. She stared at the food for a minute before pushing it away and took a sip of her drink, savoring the warmth it brought.

"Bells you need to eat something, I don't think you ate anything yesterday." Charlie said, already knowing that Bella wasn't going to eat unless she felt like it. It had been like this on and off for the last month. He knew the loss of a first love was hard, but to him Bella was feeling it to the extreme.

Bella continued to sip on her coffee while looking out the window.

" Okay Bella, this is enough. You need to get out and go do something, go see a movie with your friends. We can't keep doing this." Seeing he wasn't going to get an answer, he got up and set his coffee cup in the sink. " I need to go work, but I'm seriously Bella."

Bella sat at the table for another minute or two after Charlie left, realizing she was holding her breath and tried to let it out slowly but between the fast pace of her heartbeat and sudden lightheadedness, that she must look crazy. She knew that Charlie was worried but she couldn't tell him why she barely left the house except to go to school or the grocery store.

Ever since Edward had left her in the middle of the woods behind her house, she had developed sometimes uncontrollable and unpredictable anxiety and mild depression.

She was also angry at herself. She had become so dependent and obsessed with Edward and all that he offered that she no longer knew who she was and what to do on her own, she didn't go beyond gravity that he held even extending to his family. Bella wanted to know more about his "brothers and sisters", to try and get through to Rosalie's tough exterior since she slightly confused and intrigued Bella but she never got time to talk to her. The worst of it all was, with the last conversation that Edward had with her made her feel unlovable.

" My world is not for you Bella." Edward said, his eyes dark and his face was solemn.

"You don't want me?" Bella whispered, already feeling her heart cracking into a million pieces.

"No." Edward said, staring at Bella's tears as they started to fall.

Bella got up and tossed her toast in the trash and went to the sink to wash out her cup, all the while feeling her heart beating in overdrive with the memory and her hands slightly shaking. With a heavy sigh she went back up to her room and sat on the bed pulling the laptop closer and opening up a tab for a random playlist.

Since no one would be home until nightfall, Bella turned up the volume to help drown out self pitying thoughts, Bella laid back against her pillows and closed her eyes.

It must have been a couple of hours that she laid there, because her neck and shoulder muscles were tight and sore as she got up to use the bathroom. After she was done, she looked in the mirror and cringed at her reflection. She had certainly let her appearance falter in the last month. This isn't how things are supposed to be. But like he said, I'm just a human." Shaking her head, Bella went back to her room and closed the playlist, the silence really made her feel alone and small for some reason.

Bella hesitated slightly over the tab that was solely for her email before slicking and hitting refresh.

The very last message, the only message out of all of them, had now said read at 11:15 am.