1.
The first time it happened they were on a mission. A simple milk run is what this was supposed to be, go in and out, retrieve any information they could on where the weapons were being distributed to. They were back at Las Almas hunting down some remaining Shadow Company for the intel that was hidden somewhere in the old rundown airbase.
They had just cleared the first building when they got pinned down by a whole fucking bunch of Shadow Company. Soap could hear Rudy and Al speaking frantically in his ear, and could hear Gaz and Captain inform them that they were two minutes out from their location with backup.
But Soap was hungry, hurting and wishing this was fucking over with.
"Th' bastards juist wont stoap comin'," Soap snarled to Ghost as dove under the window to roll and jump up, shooting down from above to four unlucky Shadow bastards. "Juist fuckin die already!"
'Ghost, keep MacTavish in line, that's his "I'm making a bomb" mutter' Price ordered as he heard the muttered Gaelic.
Ghost felt his eyes flick down as he ducked back behind the crumbled rooftop of the hanger; Soap was by his side with busy hands and a manic angry glee. 'Too late.'
"Cover me," Soap ordered and usually Ghost would bristle at that but he couldn't deny the fact that when Johnny was like this, a chaotic angel of death haloed by fire and brimstone, something within Ghost's cold dead heart warmed.
Manic laughter escaped the Scot as he sprung up, Ghost rolling to fire down as the makeshift bomb went flying. After this, when they were all safe, Ghost and Price were going to have to have another talk to Soap about carrying explosives on his person during an active warzone.
"Shite! SIMON DOWN!" Soap screamed as he saw the RPG launcher.
Both of them flung themselves further back but not even their fast reflexes could save them from the explosion. Fire burned over Ghost while the force shoved them tumbling off the roof and down onto the hard ground below. Twin grunts of pain echoed in the silence, joined by the cacophony of settling rock and gunfire.
Soap came to with a groan, his vision blurring slightly that indicated the familiar ache of a concussion. His right arm burned from the flashfire of being too close to the explosion but nothing seemed broken and nothing seemed to be lodged within him. He could hear Price in his ear telling him that they were on their way with Rudy and Alejandro.
'Price to Ghost and Soap, do you copy!' The words were less muffled by ringing. 'Ghost do you copy? Soap do you copy?'
The words made Soap want to puke, it was too close to being way too loud and it added to the vertigo but it also jolted Soap's brain into working because Simon was on the roof with him, closer to the blast than Soap. He jolted up in a sitting position, his eyes scanning the hazy area till they landed on Ghost who was struggling to sit up himself, hand chucking something white to the side…
"Fuck L.t." Soap cursed as he scrabbled forward, hands unwinding the scarf around his neck as he realised what he was seeing. Ghost's skull mask was cracked and half-torn away from his face, and the black balaclava he wore under the hood it held onto had burnt away. "Shit, here."
His eyes stayed averted downwards as he wrapped the material around Ghost's face clumsily. Oh god, how did Soap want to look, had been wanting to see Ghost's face again since that night in Las Almas but he knew what wearing the mask meant to Simon, what it meant when he removed it. Soap knew Ghost trusted him to watch his back on the field but this was different and though Soap joked about him removing the mask, that's all it ever was.
"Thanks, Johnny," Simon whispered as he watched the Scot wrap his own scarf around his now bare face, eyes adverted nearly clenched shut with the sheer force of trying not to look. It was a first for Simon, where someone respected his boundaries when something like this happened.
It softened something further within him and if Ghost was a little less rattled then he would freely admit it was then that he gave his heart over fully to the Scot.
2.
A tired groan escaped Soap's lips as he stepped into the training gym, a steaming mug of coffee in his hands. It was too early for this, at least an hour too early for him to function but Price wanted him and Ghost to train the recruits with multiple people takedowns, Ghost was the one who requested Soap help him and how could Soap refuse?
"You owe me one L.t," He muttered as he came to a stop at his Lieutenants side, eyeing the recruits that Ghost was getting to warm up. Thirteen overall had passed the tests enough to be considered part of the 141's secondary team.
A soft huff escaped Ghost's chest, indicating a laugh. "And what do I owe you, Johnny?"
"A dinnae ken bit ah will think o' something," He replied while sculling the rest of his coffee and tossing the paper cup in the trash.
They stood there in silence watching the recruits run laps around the small room, John took in which ones seemed to pace themselves properly and which ones were probably going to struggle. They were good and would have to be to get this far but still, there were flaws in everyone.
"ALRIGHT! BRING IT IN!" He shouted after another five laps, noticing which ones were doubling over and which ones shook it off. "Today the lieutenant and I will be showing you how to do multiple takedowns, we will pair you in groups of three and rotate you out on who will verse one of us."
The recruits seemed nervous when they cast a look up at the silent looming man next to Sergeant MacTavish, they all knew the rumours, the all knew that the man was an unstoppable killing machine and it terrified them. Soap's eyes caught it all, narrowing down on three exclusively, a young woman who looked excited by the prospect of learning new moves and two who cast thoughtful looks towards Ghost.
He didn't know what made him unsettled about the looks, but he'd be keeping a close eye on them.
Ghost and Soap tag teamed out of the ring every three fights, the recruits were a mess, their clothes having small rips from tugs and throws, sweat coating their faces and some even had bruises forming on their faces from well-placed hits while Ghost and Soap looked pristine still. Both had been giving pointers to the recruits while they were facing one of them.
"Aye, ye need tae keep yer een oan th' ither body, ye left yer right side open 'n' gave him a' th' time fur a murdurr shot." Soap sighed aggrievedly; he had been telling this particular soldier the same thing all day and the boy still had yet to learn.
His eyes shot up and his body locked as he saw one of the recruits dip and hand snatched out to grab Ghost's mask. Before anyone could react, Soap reached out, grabbed the idiot he was just explaining a move to and rolled, tossing the body like a ragdoll into the other soldier with barely a grunt.
Both went down and before anyone could make a sound Soap was up and to Ghost's side within a blink, his hand clamping down on the eyes of the soldier within Ghost's grasp and the other tugging the balaclava back down from the sudden jerk of the idiot's hand.
"All good L.T?" He asked with clenched teeth, eyes pinning down the soldier with a glare.
Ghost swallowed thickly and let the recruit in his arms go, thankful Johnny had got to him in time. He didn't know how the kid snuck up on him to grab his mask… but Johnny saw… Johnny got him first. "Yeah Johnny, I'm good."
"Alright, everyone OUT!" Soap snarled at the scrambling recruits before pinning his glare on the idiot once more. "You, come with me. Now Recruit."
3.
Soap laughed as he leaned back and knocked his elbow with Ghost, it was one of the rare times that the larger man had decided to join them out for a drink and partook. Gaz was turned towards Price telling a story that also kept Simon's attention and usually Soap would be slightly more inebriated than he was right this second... but he couldn't indulge as he normally does, not with how Ghost kept his back to the bar, the relaxed shoulders.
'I trust you to watch my back Johnny' rattled around Soap's brain like a crack, sending warmth through him. Oh, he knew Simon meant on the field but somehow, somehow it also extended here.
Ghost had his back to the bar because Soap was by his side, turned to keep one eye on them and one eye behind him.
Which is why he caught it, the sudden change in the air. His eyes flickered to the left, narrowing in on the familiar faces of several rookies, whispering and pointing towards them... towards Ghost. One of them in particular, it was the same Recruit who had tried to pry off Ghost's balaclava in training last week.
He waited and watched, kept his body lax to not draw his group's attention and shatter what little bit of vulnerability Ghost was giving them right this second. A rare thing, a beautiful thing, and if Ghost even caught one tense muscle, then the night will be over and Ghost will be gone.
Don't you do it, just walk away… Soap thought as he lifted his glass to his lips with a laugh, keeping up pretences. Willing the kid to keep walking, to go to the bar and not towards them…
His eyes slipped closed as he realised that the kid was indeed stupid and had a death wish. A snarl escaped his lips as his hand snapped out like a viper, wrapping around the wrist and clenching hard enough to cause the idiot recruit to cry out, his fingers a breath away from the edge of Ghost's balaclava.
Silence reigned as all eyes snapped to Soap who was glaring up at the Recruit, the very one who was too drunk to realise the danger he was in.
"Ah dare ye, please, ah dare ye tae keep trying," Soap growled out low, standing calmly from his seat and putting pressure on the Recruit's wrist and pushed back, sending the idiot to his knees in another cry of pain. "Ah warned ye th' first time lest week Dylans, it seems ye didnae listen tae me."
Price's eyes snapped from Soap to the recruit and then to Ghost, whose whole frame tensed briefly and then relaxed, his dark eyes locked on Soap with an emotion that caused John to pause. This whole situation was setting him off-kilter, yet it shouldn't have surprised him.
He of all people knew how protective Ghost and Soap were of each other, he had seen it on and off the field, but he hadn't seen this level of trust on Simon's face before… nor the sheer amount of authoritative rage rolling off the Sergeant.
"Johnny," Ghost called softly, hand moving to his wrist as he saw Soap begin to put more pressure on the kid's wrist, he could hear the bones grinding. "Let go."
Ghost watched as Soap's face flickered for a moment, warmth settling back in over the cold hard rage. Simon didn't know how to react to this, to the sheer power that radiated from Johnny's frame as he pulled the kid closer.
"I told you what would happen if you tried to touch the mask," Soap whispered loud enough that only Simon and Dylans could hear. "I told you that Ghost would be the least of your problems."
The recruit swallowed hard and then screamed as he flet something snap in his wrist, the Sergeant's dark smile the last thing he saw when the saw when unconsciousness took him.
4.
Ghost would like to point out that the world was against him, this last year alone it had decided to throw everything at him to have his mask removed. It was a curse, well, if he believed in things like that. He didn't know how to feel about it, to be honest, his mask was his protection and the world was trying to strip Ghost bare till only Simon remained.
Except… well it had tried. But it was no match for one Sergeant John 'Soap' MacTavish.
The man had an uncanny idea when someone or thing was going for Ghost and he didn't know how to feel about that either. The sheer amount of anxiety of being vulnerable warred with the flashbang of desire.
You are done for Ghost… the man has snuck through all your walls and found me buried in the ground below... Simon thought as he whirled and dodged another bullet.
He thanked whatever luck he had that he was running in the damn swamp away from the Shadow Company tracking him. His mask was shattered by a well-timed bar to the face when he fled the base, the balaclava going next when another Shadow grabbed it.
Johnny… find Johnny… His mind screamed as he ducked and rolled, springing up to slash at the soldier's throat and keep going. The RV was only another click through the swamp lands where he knew Johnny was waiting.
'Ghost how copy?' Soap's voice crackled over the coms and the tension in Ghost's body eased slightly.
"One mile out got a tail." He replied with a grunt, firing off a few shots as he spun behind a rock formation to take cover.
Silence on the other end of the coms had Ghost on edge again, this time for a different reason.
'I have em in my sights sir, duck and cover.' Ghost dove and curled under a few shrubs, hands covering his face and head as he heard the familiar hiss of three rounds firing from Soap's sniper. His eyes peaked out to see the last three that pursued him fall.
He stayed where he was, heart hammering in anxiousness or desire he didn't know. "Nice shooting Johnny."
'Thank ye L.T. you're clear tae come oot, git mah een closed 'n' everything.' Soap rumbled over coms and Ghost could see the lopsided smile in his mind's eye.
Taking a deep breath he got to his feet slowly and made his way towards the small run-down cabin they were RVing at so they could get to the pick-up zone together. He saw Soap standing by the front, sniper slung over his shoulder and eyes closed tight, a smile tugging at his face.
He approached slowly and silently, admiring the view before him. Johnny was standing vulnerable with his eyes closed, one hand hooked on his vest the other outstretched with something held in his hand but Simon's breath hitched at the absolute trust Soap was showing to Simon.
Everything about the posture screamed I trust you… I trust you… I trust you…
"What?" He breathed out as he finally noticed what was in Soap's hand, a mask.
A smile tugged at Soap's lips as he felt Ghost take the mask. "I decided since the world is hell-bent on demasking you that I'd keep one on me just in case."
Looking down at the skull mask in his hands and then at the soft fond smile on Soap's face, everything in his mind just clicked. He would burn the world for him, would pluck the very stars from the sky if asked… He would kill for this man, die for this man and Ghost knew that Johnny would do the same… has been telling him that he would do the same.
He pulled the mask over his face, hiding the burn on his cheeks easily and clasped Soap's shoulder; sucking in a silent breath as the grey-blue eyes locked onto him instantly. "Thank you, Johnny."
A chuckle. "Anytime Si, anytime."
5.
"JOHNNY!" the name ripped from Ghost's throat with force, blood welling on his tongue as he spun around, hand flying out to catch Soap as he jerked and went to topple over the edge of the wall. Blood splattered Ghost as the bullet tore through Soap, burning into him that Ghost thought his skin was melting.
He knew he will be having nightmares of Soap's blood burning him alive for months.
"No, no, stay with me, Johnny." Simon pleaded as he dragged Soap around the corner into a safe position, hands pressing down on the exit wound in his chest. It was right next to the spot Graves had shot him in Las Almas "Johnny!"
"Gh'st?" Soap rasped, eyes blown wide and scream ripped from his throat as the pain exploded in his chest. It was a familiar pain, one that still haunted him some nights, except this, this was somehow worse.
Dark eyes and a skull mask peered over him, the sun bearing down and casting Ghost in a brilliant halo. He looked like an angel of death, with blood on his face and burning eyes; he looked beautiful. Soap coughed painfully, unable to hear the words Ghost was saying to him over the roar in his ears. "M' tired sir."
"Fuck, no, Johnny you need to stay awake! MacTavish wake up!" Ghost snarled as he hastily wrapped the wound and hauled John in his arms. He needed to get to the evac point where Price was waiting, he needed to get there now.
'Ghost, we cleared you a path, run!' Gaz's voice called over the coms and Ghost did what he did best, he ran.
He ran as fast as his legs could move him, his arms holding John close to his bare neck because if Ghost lost that puff of air then he was going to lose his mind. If he lost Johnny he was going to become that monster everyone feared and saw him as, one he hasn't been since Soap marched into his life and resurrected Simon.
The world was a blur to him, his voice pleading for Johnny to stay awake, to keep breathing as the medical team worked around him. It took Price holding him back as Johnny began to crash, his heart giving out and causing Ghost to call his name once more, loud and desperate.
Ghost called him back each time, kept him in the land of the living and it broke something within them all. Only when they got him stable did Price let him go, allowing him to crash to his knees by Johnny's head his fingers trailing through the slicked back mohawk while his other hand rested on Johnny's pulse point. His head was bent low over Johnny, revealing bisected lips pressed close to his ear, one scarred cheek pressed to Johnny's own.
It was the closest Simon had revealed his face in a room full of others willingly besides Las Almas.
"Please Johnny, don't leave me, you're the first person in a long time that I've let close… don't– don't be another one to die… don't leave me here without you… I can't– I can't do this without you anymore…" He choked out. "Please Johnny, if you keep breathing, I'll show you my face…"
He didn't care if Price heard him, he didn't care if anyone saw him like this because it was for Johnny. If his talking to Johnny kept him going, if promising to remove the mask kept him going then he would. Let them all know how irrevocably taken Ghost was by John 'Soap' MacTavish.
Hours passed, hours where Ghost knelt at Soap's side and whispered words, his voice turning hoarse. He was the pillar to the crumbling building, the stone that braced the cliff in a raging sea… Unmoveable. Only when they got back to base did he move, having to let Soap go for surgery.
"He'll pull through Simon." Price stated roughly, his own voice cracked. "He's strong."
Swallowing, Ghost turned towards Price. "He's the strongest of us."
+1
Don't leave me here without you… I can't do this without you…
The words were echoing in Soap's head, familiar and yet… not.
Whoever it was, it pulled Soap backwards away from the light, away from the warmth that he was so desperately craving. A cry pulled from his lips as he struggled against the hold, he wanted to go towards the light, he didn't want to go back to where it was cold and painful.
No Johnny, please, fight it… stay with me… You need to stay with me…
His struggles grew less as images flashed in his mind, cognac eyes framed by pale lashes… soft huffs of laughter that made those dark eyes sparkle and crinkled with a smile. Jokes said over coms while running from danger. It was Ghost. Simon.
That's it, Johnny, stay with me…
Why would he leave? He'd never leave Ghost… how could he?
You need to wake up Son, Simon's going insane, I've had to place him on leave, and he didn't even fight it… Cigars, rough comforting pats on the shoulder, bucket hats and moustache oil – Price.
Wake up John, the team's falling apart without their glue… American, stern but caring… coffee black as their souls – Laswell
You need to wake up Brother, wake up, you still owe me a tenner… Laughter and the smell of burnt wires, fist bumps and second hand smoke – Gaz.
He was confused, he was awake, wasn't he?
A crack echoed and then the world was on fire, stone exploding and debris raining down upon him. His breath punched out of him as he stumbled nearly over the edge of the wall, down into the depths off the edge of the cliff.
Ghost's eyes panicked as he charged forward, mask splattered with blood.
Oh, he was shot.
Come back to me Johnny, come back.
He fought against the current that held him down, fought towards Ghost. The man didn't ask for much, barely asked for anything at all and yet here he was, pleading of all things, to Soap to wake up… how could he refuse?
Waking was hard, his throat was itchy and scratchy, and his entire right side was throbbing. The lights were low and twisting his head towards the windows showed him it was nighttime. There was a heavy pressure at his hip, pinning it to the bed… when he managed to blink the haze away and look down his breath hitched.
Simon was bent over him, his face pressed into his hip so that his face was hidden between him and the bed but oh, oh, his shaggy blonde hair was on display. Slowly and with a wince he raised his hand and brushed his hand through the slight curls.
"Gh'st?" Soap rasped out with a wince. "Simon."
Simon's head shot up with a gasp with wide delirious eyes, Soap gaped at him in surprise for the brief stunned seconds before he slammed his eyes shut. But he had seen, he saw Simon's face not enough to memorise but enough to see pale skin and blonde hair.
He was handsome.
"Johnny?" The voice was soft, broken.
"Water?" Soap rasped out, using all his willpower to keep his eyes closed as Ghost let out a sharp inhale that sounded like a sob.
A straw was placed at his lips, soft calloused hands brushing against his chin and cheek as Simon moved to help him tip his head forward. He sipped slowly even though he wanted to chug the whole glass in one go, but he's been in this position too many times to know that would be a mistake.
"How long?" He asked roughly, relaxing back into the bed.
"Nearly a week, you coded twice…" The words were rough, rougher than Soap has ever heard it. Wet and vulnerable.
Soap blindly reached out and grasped Simon's hand in his own. "I'm alive Si, I'm here because I heard you calling me back."
There was silence and Soap oh so wanted to open his eyes and see Simon, to make sure the man was okay.
"You can look, Johnny." The words were soft, and Soap snapped his eyes wide, instantly honing in on Simon's face.
He took in the Glasgow scars, the cleft lip created by another one and pale skin that wasn't smudged with black paint. There were a smattering of smaller scars faded around pale pink lips and under one eye that would be hidden by the paint, a crooked nose from multiple breaks… But his eyes, oh his eyes were red rimmed from tears and shone like liquid gold.
"Simon, ye a bonnie lad." Soap chuckled once he saw Simon's eyes shift into anxiety the longer he stared without saying a word.
The grin that he got in return caused Soap's heart to stutter, the machine beeping angrily with it. The traitorous thing. Soap could feel the blush on his cheeks as Simon's grin widened at the heart monitor and Soap's reaction.
"I told you I was quite the opposite." A rough laugh spilled from Simon's lips.
"That ye did Si, that ye did," Soap replied with a pained smile of his own, though the mood dipped as the events and everything began to catch up. "What happened Simon? I didnae think you would ever show me."
A tear slipped down Simon's cheek as he leaned forward, grasping the sheets of the hospital bed tight in his hands. "The bullet was close to your heart… I had to carry you back to the evac, you… you nearly died Johnny and I... it made me realise something."
"Shh, it's okay, I'm here." He whispered as he pushed himself weakly into a sitting position, hand threading through the surprisingly soft hair.
"I love you, Johnny." The words were said fast, spat like the world was ending and punched through Soap's soul like a bullet. "I swore that if you survived I'd remove my mask because with you I can be Simon, with you I don't need to hide behind the mask. "
"Oh," Soap gasped out with wide eyes, tears of his own spilling down his cheeks.
Ghost lurched forward, desperate. "I had to tell you even if you don't feel…"
Soap didn't even hesitate as he pulled Ghost forward and kissed him. "Simon ye dafty, I love ye too."