All the tales the same

Told before and told again

A soul that's born in cold and rain

Knows sunlight, sunlight, sunlight

And at last can grant a name

To a buried and a burning flame

As love and its decisive pain

Oh, my sunlight, sunlight, sunlight

"Sunlight" – Hozier

Three hours, forty-six minutes, twenty-two seconds – that's how long I stood outside that diner in Philly that Peter had told me to head for. I'd taken refuge in an alley under an awning to stay out of the rain. A little water didn't bother me, but humans would notice someone deliberately standing in the rain for hours and being unbothered by it – and a successful hunter knows how to blend in, to mimic their prey just enough to lull them into complacency before the final strike.

Hunt, kill, feed. That was my life now, my sole drive. Before Peter and Char rescued me, I lived and breathed war, both as a human and an immortal, but now I had no purpose. Nothing to look forward to. I couldn't even sleep to get a break from the endless expanse of immortality. Ever since I'd woken up from the hellfire that had I had been reborn in, my life had been one long, blood-soaked moment, stretching on towards a future I didn't know if I cared to meet.

They dragged me from the warzone but pieces of me had been left behind. The never-ending violence was gone, but the killing didn't stop, couldn't stop. I needed blood to fuel this existence and humans were, understandably, reluctant to part with theirs.

I tried to make it peaceful, make it easy. But no matter how much I overpowered them with my gift, I could still feel the fear that comes with the knowledge that they were dying. The fear, the pain, and worst of it all, their resignation that they weren't going to make it home because they'd just been in the wrong place at the wrong time. I tried to hunt as little as I could, but there came a point where I lost control over that, my vampiric instincts overriding my conscious choice to abstain, and it always, always ended in more damage done than if I'd picked a target and called it done.

Most of my kind didn't understand (or maybe just didn't care too) that humans were more than just a food source. I knew better. Humans and vampires weren't much different, not where it mattered. We form bonds, we laugh, we love, and we feel. God, do we feel, and I feel it most of all.

I don't remember much about my human life, but I know I went to war to preserve it. I'm ashamed to say the venom burned away the memory of the name of the abolitionist who'd helped me become a spy for the Union, but I never forgot his conviction, his adamant belief that all life was equal and precious and deserving of a chance for freedom.

Maybe it was easier for other vampires to look down upon humans, but I just couldn't. The loss of life was something to be pitied and mourned; if there was anything to be thankful for about this new life was the perfect recall that came with it. I knew the names each and every one who'd died at my hand, human, vampire, my meals and those I'd sired. Only two of my 'children' still lived, and they had come back for me even though I'd given them little reason to, or so I'd thought.

I don't know why I let them escape; Peter was my second-in-command and Char my best tracker. They'd done a good job of hiding their mate bond from everyone else but there was no hiding anything from me. Peter knew I knew, and part of him always waited to see when I'd cull them because Maria had explicitly ordered all mated pairs be sent to the dumps.

It never crossed my mind to do it. Peter and Char were just… Peter and Char. Two spots of sanity in a nightmare I couldn't see an end too. I let them go, even following from a distance as far as I dared to make sure they had a shot at freedom before returning to Maria's side. After they left, I was ready to die. Content with it even. Letting them go was the only decent thing I could say I did during the war.

And then they'd come back for me and showed me a whole new world I'd never imagined seeing for myself. For a little while, I had hope.

But the killing never stopped.

And then one day Peter looked me in the eye and rattled off an address, clapped me on the shoulder and said they'd see me later, before hauling Char over his shoulder and disappearing into the mountains. I could've followed. I wanted too, started to even. But Peter's gift of 'knowin' shit' as he called it, unreliable as it was, had never once led me wrong.

I saw the vampire walk into the diner about two hours into my vigil. She was a little thing, a proper pixie, with fluffy black hair that was cropped short, and radiated hope so intensely that I was frozen in place just basking in it.

I wanted to meet her, to find out just what had her so hopeful. I'd even made it across the street and had my hand on the door handle, set to walk right in, when the most mouthwatering scent hit me like a fucking truck.

I'd immediately gave chase, forgetting about the vampire in the diner until later. When I went back later, she was long gone, the rain having washed her scent trail away.

I made myself forget her and disappeared into the wilds, trying to stay as far from humans as I could for as long as I could, only venturing into civilization to hunt or when the loneliness became to strong. Sometimes I meet other covens, other nomads, and the interactions pass the time. Occasionally I run into Peter and Char, and they try to bring me back with them but I can't bring myself to hunt with them. Like me, they target the dregs of human society, the rapists, murderers, pedophiles, wife beaters. But where they revel in the hunt, I die a little bit more.

Everything changed in the winter of 2005 when I ran into a nomad who told me a story that she'd heard about a coven of six who lived in the Washington. It sounded unrealistic already; a coven that large maintaining a permanent residence? It didn't make sense. And then she explained how.

"They only drink animal blood," Colette had said, her lip curling in disgust. "Unnatural is what it is, but that's the price they have to pay if they want to play at being human."

I wanted to believe her. I asked around, kept my ear to the ground, and eventually called Peter, who'd just laughed at me.

"How the fuck you'd not heard of the fuckin' Cullens?"

I pinched the bridge of my nose with my thumb and forefinger as I growled into the speaker, "Just tell me what y'know, Pete."

"Don't know what else there's to say. They munch on bunnies so they can 'blend in' with the humans. Why? You thinkin' of goin' veggie?"

"I dunno. Maybe."

"Shit's fuckin' foul," he warned. "But if it'll help ya… Y'know me'n Char got yer back."

I arrived in Forks two months later to find the coven had pulled up stakes and moved on. It wasn't too much of a setback though. I could always ask around and find out where they went. Instead of leaving immediately however, I found myself poking around their old home and with even more questions.

A coven that large should have at least have had some lingering scent markers, and while I found them inside the house no problem, they were virtually nonexistent outside. I ran a circuit around the area, and found no evidence of any territory having been established.

That made no sense. Vampires were territorial. It was instinctual to carve out a hunting ground and defend it against interlopers. I searched for hours but either they had a gifted member of their coven who erased all traces of their scent, or they didn't act like normal vampires.

I sat down in the middle of a meadow to think. The only logical conclusions I could come up with was that they relied on their numbers or they had a gifted member (or multiple ones) to warn them in case danger showed up at their door. Vampire instincts ran stronger, far more so than humans; there's no way they could just… ignore them.

Unless it was their diet that made them act so strangely. I frowned at that thought. It was possible, but I wouldn't know until I tested it for myself.

A rustling in the trees had me instantly on my feet, my body automatically sliding into a defensive stance. A quiet gasp reached my ears and I heard the wet thump of a heartbeat pick up speed.

I was just about to leave when the human breached the tree line and turned my world upside down.

Her scent. Creosote, desert wildflowers, and something that reminded me of the desert after a thunderstorm. It was warm and inviting and reminded me of home.

She was young, with fair skin that contrasted beautifully with long brown hair that fell with a slight wave down her back. Her wide chocolate eyes were large and ringed with thick lashes that gave her a permanent doe-eyed look. Her lower lip was fuller than the upper, but petal pink and soft looking. I found myself swaying slightly forward, wanting desperately to kiss them.

She didn't look like a hiker. Her boots were caked with mud but looked new, and she was clumsy, if the dirt stains on her knees were any indication. Her blue flannel shirt was pretty on her though. Over her shoulder she carried a beat-up looking backpack.

What struck me more than her scent though was her emotional state. She was curious, but also drowning in an intense loneliness and depression I knew very well.

She eyed me warily, more so than humans typically did, and flinched when I took a step closer. I held my hands up in a gesture for peace.

"I'm not gonna hurt you, darlin'," I said, projecting calm. "You get lost hikin'?"

She shook her head. "No. I – I was coming here actually." She looked around and I could see and feel the disappointment that caused her shoulders to droop. "It's different than when I was here last. More… dead."

I nodded slowly. "Not much bloomin' happenin' in winter."

She shoved a frustrated hand through her hair and blew out the breath she'd been holding. "I guess I thought… I don't know what I thought, actually." She huffed a laugh but there was no humor in it. "I thought maybe if I found his meadow I'd feel better, like I had a piece of him with me. But instead, I just feel…" She trailed off with a defeated shrug. My gift showed me she was a tangle of emotions, none of them positive.

It didn't take a genius to figure out why she was here. She'd lost someone, probably a lover, and this had been their spot. Jealousy bloomed in my chest at the thought but I squashed it. I could sort out my feelings later. Right now, this girl, my mate, needed me.

Her face was pale and drawn and there were heavy dark circles under her eyes. She'd probably been out here for hours, we were a fair bit of a ways of the closest trail. I relaxed my stance and said, "You look like you need a break."

"I am pretty tired," she admitted and offered me a rueful smile. "I actually kind of hate hiking."

"And yet here you are," I replied.

"And here I am. Love makes you do stupid things, huh?"

I nodded. I had no experience with it myself, but I'd watched Peter make an absolute ass out of himself for Char when he was trying to get her to accept him as her mate.

I sat down in the middle of the meadow and leaned back on my hands with my feet stretched out in front of me, ankles crossed and tried to make myself look as non-threatening as possible. She came closer after a moment of hesitation, and sat down near me, but kept plenty of space between us.

"What's your name, darlin'?"

"Bella," she said, and picked at piece of dead grass, twirling it between her fingers. "You?"

"Jasper. Jasper Whitlock."

"You don't look like a normal hiker, Jasper Whitlock." I looked down at myself and conceded she had a point. My boots were well worn and perfectly broken in, but definitely not something a hiker would choose. My jeans were a little dirty and a little faded, the hems frayed. I'd forgotten to grab a jacket and my t-shirt was too thin for the weather.

Well, shit.

"It's not my idea of a good time," I said with forced lightness as I offered her a smile.

She smiled tightly back, and I stiffened as the beginnings of fear began to take hold of her.

"You're a vampire, aren't you?"

Seeing how she'd cut to the chase, I gave her the same courtesy. "Yes ma'am."

Bella's heart beat double time, but she pressed on anyway, brave girl that she apparently was. "Your eyes are red."

I raised a brow at her non sequitur. "And yours are brown."

"Well yes, but I mean, red eyes means you drink from… from humans." She stumbled over the last part of her sentence and cringed slightly as she waited for me to reply. The wording had me curious.

"All vampires have red eyes," I said patiently.

She shook her head quickly and my eyebrows shot up when she said, "Not if they drink from animals like the Cullens. Theirs were gold."

What an interesting turn of events this was. Not only had I found my mate, but she not only knew the Cullens, the coven I'd come to see, but knew them well enough to know they were vampires.

"I came here to see them, actually," I said, watching her carefully to gage her reaction.

Bella instantly shut down, her face shuttering. "They left about five months ago," she replied woodenly.

I was beginning to make some connections I wasn't too happy about. "D'you know where they went?"

"No. After Ed – he – dumped me, I went back to the house and found they were gone." Bella's voice caught on the name, and I could see the tears begin to well up in her eyes. "They didn't even say goodbye."

"I'm sorry to hear that, darlin'," I said gently and wanted to badly to reach out and comfort her. Instead, I clenched my hand into a tight fist, resolving to let my fist be my introduction to whoever this Ed Cullen was when I found him and his coven.

"It's fine. He explained it me and I guess I just… it's just so hard to accept." She dashed a hand over her eyes and took a steadying breath. "I always knew I wasn't good enough for him but to hear him confirm it? He'd warned me that vampires were easily distracted, but I didn't think he'd get so bored of me so fast."

The growl I'd been trying to keep behind clenched teeth escaped and she jumped, leaning away from me quickly.

"No, wait, please!" I squeezed my eyes shut as I fought to regain control over myself. "I'm sorry, I'm not upset with you." I opened my eyes and stared into her wide ones. "You're safe with me. I promise."

She nodded hesitantly and shifted to pull her knees to her chest, looping her arms around them as she changed the subject. "Why are you looking for the Cullens?"

I looked up at the overcast sky. It looked like snow later. "I was hopin' they'd be able to help me stop feedin' on humans."

I looked back at her at her sharp intake of breath. "You want to go vegetarian?"

My lips pulled up in a smile as I said, "Munchin' on bambi doesn't sound appealin' but it's that or people."

"I thought vampires liked to drink human blood."

My smile faded and I closed my eyes. "There's nothin' in the world like it," I said, hating myself for how reverent my tone was, and looked at her again, "but I've… got a gift. And drainin' humans with my gift is hard."

The sudden surge of sympathy from her nearly bowled me over. "I'm sorry to hear that. The Cullens chose not to drink from humans because they valued human life very highly. Carlisle, their leader, is even a doctor who works in hospitals."

The amount of control that had to take was exceptional. I almost couldn't believe it, but there was no trace of a lie coming from her. "It sounds like you know them well."

"I thought I did," she said quietly, and reached down to keep pulling out blades of grass. "I even dated one of them."

Something akin to hope unfurled in my heart; if she'd been in a relationship with a vampire before, knowing what he was, then maybe she'd be willing to do it again? "You're a brave girl."

Bella snorted. "More like a stupid one. I was his singer, you see? He was constantly wanting to drain me, but his love for me superseded that. Or at least it did, for a while." She sighed heavily, and I couldn't stop myself from projecting her some peace. "There was an accident on my birthday. Alice insisted on a party even though I begged her not to, and when I got a papercut, Edward he… he tried to attack me. Emmett and Rosalie got him off of me before he could drain me, but he got a bite in." She tugged down the edge of her collar and I saw a thick silvery scar at the juncture of her neck and shoulder. "Carlisle sucked the venom out and two days later, they'd all left. Like they'd never existed."

The rage that flooded through me as I stared at her scar was unlike anything I'd felt before, even back when I was still under Maria's thumb. This time though, I kept a firm grip on the growl that clawed to come out of my throat, determined not to scare her again.

"What happened ain't your fault," I said slowly, making sure she had her eyes on me. "I know you're blamin' yourself, but you can't. It's not your fault you're his singer, but he should've known better than to put you in danger like that."

She leaned away from me, and god she was beautiful when she was angry. "He was my mate," she snapped. "I know our relationship was complicated but we tried to make it work anyway. If I had been more careful, everything would've been fine."

I knew I scared her when I leaned in, moving too fast for her human eyes to see. "Bella, I need you to listen to me," I said, reaching out to gently grip her chin between my thumb and forefinger, turning her head to look at me. She tossed her head to try to shake me off, but I was too strong. "When we find our mates as humans, our instinct is to change 'em, not drain 'em. You can't've been his singer and his mate. I'm sorry darlin', but it just ain't possible."

Her eyes quickly grew shiny with unshed tears, but she refused to let them fall. "He said he loved me."

"And I'm sure some part of him might've," I replied as gently as I could. "And it's obvious how much you still love him, even after all he's done to you. That capacity to love is beautiful darlin'. Don't ever lose it, especially not over a man."

I released her and sat back, pulling my leg up to rest my wrist on my knee, keeping my eyes on her. Her fingers came up to brush the spot where I'd gripped her chin and I wondered if I'd hurt her.

"It's getting late," she said after a pregnant pause. I stood and extended my hand to help her up. My heart leapt when her skin met mine, and I luxuriated in the warmth of it. I must have held on a little too long though because she tugged slightly and I immediately let go, my hand falling to my side and curling into a fist as if I could keep hold of the memory of her warmth.

"I'd like to walk with you a little longer, if that's alright," I said hopefully. I wasn't ready for our time to end just yet; I needed to figure out how I could see her again.

She looked at me a little suspiciously, and I couldn't help but find the furrow between her brows that appeared when she was thinking was adorable. "That's fine."

I fell into step beside her and made myself useful by keeping the branches out of her way. We walked in silence for a little while, me following her scent trail back to wherever she'd come from and her letting me lead. But something was eating at me and I couldn't stop myself from asking.

"Why aren't you afraid of me?"

"Who says I'm not?" she countered, and I turned my head to hide my smile.

"Your emotions. Y'see, I'm an empath; I can read and manipulate people's emotional state. And yours, darlin', doesn't have a lick of fear in it, even though you're in the middle of the woods with a strange vampire who's outright told you he drinks human blood."

"You told me you don't want to do that anymore, though." I helped her over a fallen log before pulling away. "If you wanted to hurt me, you'd have done it already, I think."

"I could be lying."

She looked up at me and shook her head. "No, you don't seem the type."

I raised a brow. "And why d'you say that?"

"Because lying gives other people power over you. You don't seem like the kind of person who'd allow that."

Those beautiful brown eyes of hers didn't miss much, did they?

"You're a strange little human," I said fondly.

"You're not the first person to tell me that," she replied with a heavy, resigned sigh.

A/N: I promise I'm working on the next chapter of Hunter's Moon! This just happened to put me in a chokehold while I was working on the 2nd draft of chapter 5, and wouldn't let me go until I got it out.

This probably won't be very long and I'm kind of playing it by ear, but I thought it'd be fun to explore! I'm just feeling the need for a softer, gentler, but still willing to stick a boot in your ass if necessary Jasper.