My eyes burned, and my throat was parched as we wordlessly made our way back to the floor where our parents waited for us to deliver the news.
Words could not explain the pain we were both in after seeing our older siblings in the state they were in.
I could feel Edward's arm securely wrapped around my waist, as we walked through that familiar hallway to the waiting room. His arm supported most of my weight as we walked.
"You've got this, Iz, we just gotta get through this, then we can both fall apart…" He whispered as I blinked hard.
As we neared our families, they all turned sharply, eyes trimmed with red, so red, in fact, that the white of their eyes could hardly be seen anymore.
When we both avoided eye contact, their sobs began again. This time harder and louder. I had to bite my lip to hold back a sob.
The next few hours after that became a blur to me, in between signing document after document, and answering question after question of the hospital staff and police. I was barely holding it together.
As soon as I exited the hospital, Edward looked down at me in concern.
"Do you think Macy will be alright?" He asked me, worriedly.
"Jasper said he and Peter are already on their way to pick her up. She'll be coming to stay with me and my parents." I told him softly.
He nodded, his shoulders slumping down in relief as he did."What'll happen to their home, and business?" He asked me, with a frown.
"Their horse ranch is most likely going to be sold… as is the lilac farm on the property too. It's the most likely scenario along with their ranch house …" I told him, swallowing hard around the knot in my throat at the thought.
I blinked hard as I remembered how excited Rose always was about living at their ranch. The farm and animals, the fruit, and lavender. She always smelled like fresh lavender. I was going to miss that.
He frowned, "No." He finally said.
I sharply turned to look up at him, "No?" I repeated, in disbelief.
"Bella, we can't allow that to happen. All their hard work— their legacy will go down the drain. We have to do something." He told me.
I swallowed thickly, before giving him a frustrated look. I was at a loss here, I didn't know what to do. Or how to even begin to think about their property. "What do you suppose we do then, Edward? How do you expect to be able to keep both running smoothly without an inkling of knowledge of how to do so? We don't have experience to keep either running afloat, not to mention what energy and resources it takes for the upkeep of both. How do we do that? Because to my knowledge, neither of us knows how to keep a barn full of animals alive or run a lavender farm. I work for a fucking trading company and you work in a tattoo shop in Boston." I pointed out.
No, this wouldn't work. Something always happens when we work together. I didn't have the strength to not break if something else happened.
"Our father taught us all there is about horses before he perished in that farm accident. I know what to do. You know about business. You can work their lilac business. You have an associates degree in business management, and a Bachelor's for accounting and finance as well. You can help, Iz. Please." He told me, tensely.
I swallowed back the pain I was feeling and blinked to clear my teary gaze, before looking up at him. "What do you suppose I do with my job? I can't just drop everything to do this." I replied, desperately.
"I'm not asking you to. Don't do it for me, do it for their memory and Macy, what will happen to her when she grows up… please." He begged.
I sighed, closing my eyes and breathing in deeply to calm myself down.
Panic suddenly gripped at me as I thought about the possibility of all of this. This was going to be beyond stressful.
"I suppose I could ask for a short sabbatical, I do have some sick days and vacation time accumulated that I can use. But it is a short time…" I mumbled, not bothering to mention that there was ten years worth I was sitting on.
His responding smile made the muscles in my abdomen tighten.
"I'm not making promises. If this doesn't work out. It'll only be delaying the inevitable." I told him, sternly.
"Don't be such a Negative Nancy, Bellsy." He replied, smiling.
I scoffed and rolled my eyes at him before turning back towards the parking lot. "G'Night, Masen." I threw over my shoulder, before walking toward the car.
"Night, Marie." He called back, causing me to flip him off as he stood there watching me.
When I arrived back at my parents house, I broke down completely, knowing my parents wouldn't be home anytime soon. Allowing myself to feel the pain I had been pushing since I was with my parents at the hospital.
I cried until I had no tears left to cry. Throat raw from screaming and sobbing. I allowed myself to fall apart, before putting myself together again. I had to be strong. I needed to do this for Macy, my parents, and Rose.
Then Jasper and Peter arrived with Macy, and I almost started to cry again. I hadn't seen her in a few weeks, yet she seemed to have changed.
She looked so much like both her parents. She had her father's dark curly black hair. Her mother's eyes and nose. Yet her smile was that of her father. Dimples and all.
When she saw me she quickly extended her arms towards me, and practically threw herself into my arms.
"Coco." She called in relief, as she clung to me.
"Macy, hey bug." I whispered brokenly.
"Coco, otay?" She asked me, pulling back to see me.
I swallowed thickly, before nodding in response, "Yes, baby. I'm fine." I whispered back watching as she nodded and placed her head on my shoulder.
Jasper and Peter looked at me sadly, before Jasper sighed, "We did a little digging, and found Emmett and Rosalie's will." He began.
I raised a brow, "They were prepared for something like this weren't they?" I asked, thickly.
He nodded sadly in response.
"Why am I not surprised?" I mumbled, before gesturing for them to come inside.
"We've called Edward over. He needs to be here too." Peter informed me.
I adjusted Macy in my arms, to find her sound asleep. A small v puckered between her brows.
My poor girl must have been so scared. Being in a place with strangers.
She was still wearing little bows in her dark curls and a small set of jeans and a sweater. Her little feet in Velcro sneakers.
I tightened my hold on her, as I felt her fist on my shirt and her whimper into my neck.
"Why does he need to be here?" I asked when I finally turned my attention back to them.
"Because both you and him were named her godparents. They made you both her guardians." Jasper said.
A knock on my door seemed to solidify what I just heard.
It seemed my decision was made for me. We were going to save Rose and Em's ranch.
The next few days became a blur.
In between Edward, our fathers and I, we planned the funerals.
When the day finally arrived, I had to ask Alice, and Charlotte, Jasper and Peter's wives, to come help me get our mother out of bed.
Esme put on a brave front, at first. But once we arrived at the church where the funeral and wake would be held, she lost it.
My mother wasn't dealing much better either.
The pictures of both Em and Rose smiling broke them.
Friends and family members all began showing up shortly after we arrived.
People I knew to be friends with both of them came to say their goodbyes to them.
Macy clung to me the entire time, wondering why her parents were sleeping for so long.
I knew a three year old hardly understood this situation but I tried my best to explain why they were sleeping and why they couldn't come back home with us. Despite her lost expression making my heart hurt as I did. The entire explanation left a sour taste in my mouth.
The small memorial service was held just before we drove to the cemetery, and laid them both to rest.
It was so difficult to watch and hold it together as my mother fell apart. But I did.
Even later in the day as we went to the wake, it hurt so bad, yet I held it together for Macy, Esme, and my mother.
When the wake was over, I took Macy back to Rose abd Em's house.
It had been decided the night— the night that — the night that she lost her parents, that Macy and I, along with Edward, if he wanted to, would live there.
So, I hired movers to help me move part of the clothes I needed there and the rest of my things into a storage unit. Explain to Marcus, my boss, the situation, and was granted an indefinite leave.
A few days later I moved into the guest room in their house, while Edward took the second guest bedroom.
He and I drove together to the wake. The silence between us tense as the drive there.
After promising my father to visit soon and check on my mother, we left with Macy. It began to sprinkle lightly as we drove back.
She fell asleep on the way back.
When we arrived I gently slipped her out of her car seat, and took her inside.
She woke up, searching for Rose, while I did my best to calm her down and reassure her that everything was okay. She still cried for a little while before falling asleep on my chest.
Once she was fast asleep, I turned on the baby monitor and made my way down to the kitchen.
Edward was sitting on a stool, drinking a tumbler of whiskey.
"She asleep?" He asked, as he chugged half the contents of the glass.
I nodded silently, taking the tumbler and downing the contents.
He stared at me in disbelief. "Bitch, you did not just chug the rest of my drink down." He said, narrowing his eyes at me.
I bit back a smile, "I did. What are you going to do about it, hm?" I challenged.
He stood up, and slowly made his way over to me, as I moved back. "You know, I haven't forgotten about our night together in New York last year. I could very well do what we did in the back of that bike shop." He told me, smirking.
I shook my head at him, a smile still on my face, "I haven't forgotten either, but you know it wasn't possible. Now isn't either. I work too many hours, you live in a different state, and said you wanted to keep it casual…" I reminded him.
He sighed, nodding, "Just because it didn't work out then, doesn't mean I ever stopped thinking about you." He mumbled serving both of us another drink.
I nodded, turning to look out the window, swallowing hard.
I had taken a good look at myself after that happened and decided that I didn't want to ever feel that again.
I had made it my goal to avoid family gatherings, or to attend them as short as possible.
Rose nearly cut his balls off when I told her. She always did want to see me happily married, with kids. But I always told her I didn't want that. She knew why, and never pushed.
She was always my fucking rock, the person I turned to when I needed guidance. I was at a loss here.
Felt like something was twisting heart and squeezing it painfully.
"Hey, Iz? How are you doing?" He asked me quietly.
I turned to look at him, blinking, realizing I was crying as I did.
He wordlessly set down the tumblers and pulled me into a fierce hug. "I've got you." He whispered. "Let go, I've got you, little bee."
I felt the tears begin to fall quicker than I expected. A wave of agony hit me, causing my knees to buckle from the force of it.
Sob after sob, wave after wave hit. I felt gutted, lost.
"Bee, it's going to be okay. We'll get through this." He whispered, tearfully.
"She's gone, Ed." I sobbed, clutching his shirt in my fist. "How am I going to do this without her? I can't." I sobbed.
"It's okay. I promise, we'll get through this." He promised me.
"What about Macy? I don't know how to take care of a toddler. I can hardly take care of myself." I cried, trying to pull away.
He sighs, and picks me up, before turning and setting me on the counter. "Listen, Iz, you and me? We'll do this together. The Farm. The lavender business. Macy. We're not doing this alone, she has you and me. Our parents and siblings. We can do this." He told me firmly, as he placed both of his hands on either side of my face so I was forced to look at him.
"Coco?" We heard from the baby monitor.
I swallowed hard, unable to keep my lip from trembling.
"I'll go." He told me, kissing my forehead reassuringly before he walked out.
I sat there, staring out the window as I listened on the baby monitor.
A moment later I heard the door open
"Shushu?" Macy said a moment later.
"Hi, Miss. Mace, you doin' okay?" He asked her.
"Whewe is momma and dada?" She asked tiredly.
Silence filled the air, and I bit my lip to keep from sobbing harder.
"Mace, momma and dada had to go to heaven. But they're not completely gone. You can still talk to them and they'll hear you." He told her, thickly.
"Otay." She mumbled.
"But Coco and Shushu are here for you if you need us. We'll be here for you okay, so you don't have to worry about anything." He promised her.
"Otay. I wan' Bluey, Shushu." She mumbled sleepily.
"Uh… hang on, okay." He mumbled before getting up and rushing out of the room.
I heard him make his way towards the kitchen.
"What is Bluey?" He asked me, confused, eyes rimmed red.
I wiped my face, hopped off the counter. "It's on Disney plus. I'll put it on. You can go get some rest now." I mumbled, as I rushed up the stairs, and to Macy's room.
"Coco!" She calls happily.
"Hey, bug, you want to watch Bluey?" I asked her.
She nodded, before handing me the bright pink control remote.
I quickly turned the television on, and put on the show before kneeling next to the bed. "You go to sleep, okay, bug." I told her.
She nodded, as she patted the seat next to her full sized bed.
Rose had done an amazing job in decorating her room in a Disney princess theme.
The walls were a pastel rose color, and white. The castle was lit dimly in the back wall of her bed.
Fairy lights hung from the crown molding. Four large frames of the outlines of Belle, Aurora, Snow White, and Cinderella hung on the eastern wall.
The plush carpet was the same shade as the wall.
"Coco?" Macy called.
I blinked, and looked over at her. "Yes, princess?" I asked.
"Sleep hewe?" She asked.
I swallowed around the knot in my throat as she looked at me with her big blue eyes.
"Sure, bug." I whispered as I kicked off my shoes before climbing on.
We watched two episodes, before she fell back to sleep.
As soon as I was sure she was asleep, I turned the television off and picked my shoes up before heading back downstairs.
Edward was sitting on the arm of the couch, his head in his hands, as his shoulders shook.
My eyes clouded immediately and I made my way towards him without a thought.
He looked up, wiping his eyes, "Is she— Is she asleep?" He asked, thickly, as soon as he heard me.
I nodded, "Watched two episodes and fell asleep." I whispered as I stood in front of him.
He nodded, a sob escaping his lips as his eyes met mine.
Without a word, I pulled him into a hug. His shoulders were shaking as his head fell onto my chest.
"I've got you." I whispered.
"I'll be fine, I just… I just realized that Emmett is gone too. And I don't think I ever fully realized that he wouldn't be coming through that door until you went up to see Macy… and it's hard to wrap my head around the idea that I won't ever see him again." He told me with a cracking voice.
I nodded, "I know." I whispered.
"Are we really going to do this?" He asked.
I bit my lip, before nodding. "Yeah, I think we are." I whispered in response.
"Are you sure?" He asked me, lifting his head as he did.
I looked down, before sighing and nodding. "Yeah I think so." I replied, quietly.
He sighed. "Together?" He asked, dropping his arms to my waist.
"Together." I finally said in agreement, as I kept my arms around his shoulders.