Coward
Over the next few days, everyone joins together in the water and practices what they have learned and Hahana meets with Tonowari and Ronal every evening to discuss their progress.
"Tsireya gets along very well with their second son," Hahana says casually after updating her parents on the Omaticaya's swimming abilities. She eyes her mother, looking for any hint of irritation or understanding. Ronal's face stays passive but for a slight twitch of her ear. To the untrained eye, it is nothing, but to Hahana, it's bad news.
If Tonowari notices his mate's displeasure, he doesn't say. "You and Ao'nung?" Tonowari asks. "You get along with the eldest?"
Hahana shrugs, trying to channel her mother's ability to give nothing away but she fails to make eye contact with her father when she decides on a vague answer. "Not as well."
She speaks the truth but she chooses to leave out the open animosity and competitive nature of Ao'nung's relationship with the Omaticaya boys, specifically Lo'ak. Her twin brother has always had a miraculous ability to rub people the wrong way. While Ao'nung has been actively antagonizing the younger brother, Hahana prefers to simply ignore him. It is clear to her that he acts out due to lack of attention from their father and she figures the best way to get under his skin is to not pay him any mind. Not exactly the guiding her father has demanded of her.
Neteyam does not struggle from the same attention seeking tendencies his brother has, but he does have something to prove. First born of Toruk Makto and former chosen Olo'ektan, he never turns down a challenge to better himself. A trait Hahana begrudgingly finds admirable. She feels her cheeks grow hot at the thought. Ao'nung and Neteyam would have the possibility of a strong friendship if her twin wasn't so obsessed with Lo'ak.
Before Tonowari can ask her to elaborate or she can think more about the eldest Sully, she changes the subject to the sibling she finds the most intriguing. "Kiri is a good diver, but she is… strange," Hahana says carefully. "She has a sort of connection to eywa that I have not witnessed before."
This gets Ronal's attention. Her mother nods slowly, contemplating. Ronal never speaks without meaning, and never does she give away more than she is willing. "You may be right about a connection with eywa. I have seen her interacting with sea sprites," her mother says. "I want you to keep an eye on her. She often goes off alone. She may be a natural diver as you say, but she does not yet know the water."
Hahana nods and stands. Ao'nung is likely working himself up with Rotxo and the other boys and she hopes to find him soon to calm whatever new anger he has developed. As each day passes, Tsireya grows fonder of the Sully's while Ao'nung's heart grows harder. Hahana finds her wariness as not dissipated and the sons to be annoying at best, but she does not think about them at all outside of her responsibility to their learning. At least, she tries not to.
Tonowari stops her before she steps out of the marui. "We got word from Etera and Pania."
Hahana stiffens, clenching her fists till her knuckles ache. She turns to Olo'ektan, measured, slow, calmly. "Yes?" She tries to school her expression and keep her voice from betraying her. Her heart still aches when she remembers it was to be her and not Pania to join Rotxo's elder brother, Etera, on the journey to the Ta'unui Clan to the east. A great honor that Hahana sacrificed by making rash decisions in an attempt to be half as brave as how Ao'nung is praised to be.
"Hahana," Tonowari says softly, the way he would speak to a frightened animal. It hurts her to recognize that tone in his voice and she cannot keep her sorrow and shame from her face. Her father's eyes are heavy as they look down to her. "They ask about you. Etera wonders if you ask about him." He clarifies.
Hahana runs her tongue over her teeth slowly, scrunching her nose to keep herself from twitching too much. "And what do you say to him?" She has never once asked after them since they left her behind, something she knows her soft-hearted father would never say to them.
"That you miss him."
She nods, eyes glued to the woven pathway beneath her feet. "May I leave?"
Hahana accepts his heavy sigh as dismissal.
As their lessons progress, it is clear that while the Sully's are not great divers by any means, they are willing to learn and adapt just as Toruk Makto said the day they arrived on the beach. This brings great pride to Tsireya in equal measure to the great annoyance it brings to Ao'nung.
"He is rubbing it in my face, Hahana," Ao'nung grumbles one morning on their way to meet the Omaticaya children on the beach.
"First, you are certain they will learn nothing, and that made you angry," Hahana says with a smirk, following her brother along as they trail behind Tsireya. "And now that we have proven ourselves to be competent teachers - and they, mostly competent students - you are angry at their success?" She teases him relentlessly over his feud with Lo'ak but privately she thinks he is right. Whenever the younger boy shows even the barest hint of accomplishment in any task, his smile to Tsireya turns into a smirk to Ao'nung.
While Hahana finds their bickering endlessly entertaining, she herself isn't yet comfortable with their presence amongst her people. Every night she finds herself restless, her heart racing as she imagines what will happen to her family when the Sully's are found. There is no if. Hahana is certain with each passing day that whoever is looking for Toruk Makto and his family is getting closer and closer to finding them in her home. Her eyes are constantly scanning the horizon and she wakes early to walk the barrier of the reef with her mother.
That early morning patrol started by accident. Hahana found herself sitting outside of their marui, her eyes blurred from staring so long out across the ocean. Without a word, Ronal touched her lightly on the shoulder and motioned for Hahana to stand and join her.
On these walks, Hahana and Ronal do not speak. The tension between her and her mother hangs like a heavy mist but she can feel her heartbeat calm by the end of their patrol. She has not spoken with Ao'nung about her coward's heart, more interested in keeping the Sully's at arm's length and his anger to a minimum.
"You can hardly call being able to hold your breath barely long enough to reach the sand success," he says loudly as they come upon the Sully's, pulling Hahana from her thoughts.
Hahana laughs at this but does not comment, rubbing her chest and willing her heart to calm. Even just a brief thought over the Sully's discovery at Awa'atlu sends Hahana into a downward spiral.
Neteyam and Lo'ak are glaring at the two of them, but she only places her hands on her hips with an air of disinterest that she hopes is convincing. The siblings have already agreed on today's lesson and she knows that no matter how it goes, she is certain to get a good laugh out of it and it will get her mind off of war because today, they are training with the ilu.
"Surely, a waste of our time," Ao'nung says with a smirk as he calls the ilu to them. "But, I will enjoy watching you fail."
Tsireya shushes him with a shove. "These are the ilu," she says and she makes tsaheylu with an ilu. "They are our companions, much like your Pa'li are to you." She sits on the back of her ilu while Hahana calls Taniwha, her most frequent riding companion, to her. "While no ilu belongs to one person, we have our favorites," Tsireya giggles as she runs her hands down her ilu's neck.
Hahana motions towards her own ilu. "This is Taniwha," she says. "My most frequent companion." The girl's coo over Taniwha and Hahana's heart swells with pride.
"We will show you to ride," Tsireya says brightly. "Lo'ak, Kiri, come with me!"
Ao'nung and Rotxo follow Kiri, Lo'ak and Tsireya leaving Hahana with Neteyam and Tuk.
Hahana slides off of Taniwha and stands in waist deep water. She motions Tuk to join her, the water nearly going to the smaller girl's neck. "Here," Hahana says, "we will ride together." She lifts Tuk into the air and places her gently onto another ilu. "And you will watch," she says to Neteyam, who nods. His endless patience is both welcome and annoying. "This is Rua."
"Hi, Rua," Tuk says timidly. She strokes the ilu's long neck affectionately.
"Have you ever made tsaheylu before?" Hahana asks.
Tuk shakes her head with equal amounts of excitement and apprehension.
"Pa'li are too large," Neteyam says from where he stands beside them. "And ikran are too dangerous," he grins at Tuk and she sticks her tongue out at him. Tuk splashes her brother and he returns the gesture, catching Hahana in his wake.
"Alright," Hahana says, bringing her gaze back to Tuk and ignoring the flip in her stomach while watching them play. "Then we will start slow. When you make tsaheylu with another, your thoughts are hers, and hers are yours. For as long as you are bonded, you are one with each other. Do you understand?"
Hahana climbs behind Tuk and uses one hand to grab the grip on the ilu and uses the other to wrap around Tuk and hold her steady. "What you think, Rua will do. So you must be careful, if you are not clear in your intentions, we may move quicker than you are ready for." She looks at Neteyam, who has been watching patiently while Hahana gives Tuk instructions. "The same goes for you."
"I'm sure I can handle it," Neteyam grins, bright eyes flashing.
She tilts her head to him as if she doesn't believe in his ability. "We shall see, forest boy," Hahana returns in challenge.
While Hahana speaks to Neteyam, Tuk's earlier apprehension seems to vanish. Before Hahana can finish preparing the youngest member of their group, Tuk forms the bond and the two of them shoot underwater.
Hahana's arm tightens around the smaller girl in a vice grip. "Stop!" She tries to yell underwater but the garbled shout hardly carries over Tuk's bubbled screaming. As quickly as they started their break neck speed swim, they come to a jarring halt and both girls flip over the top of Rua.
Hahana grabs Tuk's hand and drags her to the surface. The girl immediately starts coughing as they emerge and Neteyam is on them in an instant. He grabs Tuk's upper arms to keep her afloat., their short swim put them into deeper waters.
"Are you okay?" He asks her, turning her in his hands to check for injury. He glances at Hahana, eyes wide in alarm. She waves him off, this is not her first time teaching a young child to ride ilu.
"Yeah," Tuk coughs out after she calms. "I probably should have waited until we were ready, huh?"
Hahana looks between a remorseful Tuk and an on-edge Neteyam with narrowed eyes. The young Omaticaya seems to shrink under her gaze. "I'm sorry," Tuk says, pushing away from Neteyam to tread on her own.
All annoyance leaves her body and Hahana bursts out in laughter. "Well, did you learn your lesson, little one?" It is hard to be mad at Tuk when she looks at Hahana with those big, unique eyes.
A slow smile creeps onto Tuk's face. "I did. Can we try again?"
Neteyam's eyes grow wide again and he glances between the two girls. "Maybe we wait -"
"Nonsense," Hahana brushes him off. "Come here," she says, grabbing Tuk's hand again. She clicks and their ilu approaches again. "Rua could feel your fear, Tuk." She places the girl back onto Rua's back and slides behind her again. "She will not hurt you. Slow this time, yes?"
Tuk nods. "Yes."
"Okay," Hahana glances at Neteyam and winks before tightening her hold on the ilu's grip. "Let's try this one more time."
Hahana watches Neteyam glide through the water. Good, she signs to him. They have been practicing for a few hours now. Tuk's lessons went considerably better after her first attempt but she was tired of being out in the sun and went in to rest. Neteyam's transition from Pa'li and Ikran was smoother than his brother's. Although a little slow, Hahana tries not to notice that Neteyam has good form for one who is only just beginning to learn. She wonders briefly what it would be like to ride in the skies like the Omaticaya do.
Not too far from the two of them, Ao'nung and Rotxo have spent these last hours swimming circles around Lo'ak and Tsireya, attempting to get the other boy to race with them. Hahana smiles as she watches Lo'ak lose again and again.
She looks out behind Neteyam and finds Kiri gliding as if she were doing it her entire life out amongst the coral. He follows her gaze to his sister and they watch Kiri loop around and around, the very world around her seeming to interact with her, to reach out in a way Hahana has never seen. She wonders if her mother will take this as good or bad news.
She is a natural, Hahana signs.
Tsireya has been teaching the Sully's to speak with their hands as the Metkayina do after Hahana and Ao'nung leave when their lessons end. She spends as much time as she can with them, while the twins escape at first chance. Neteyam, as he is with everything it seems, is already frustratingly good at it.
Yes, he agrees. They watch Kiri for a few more moments. Sometimes, Kiri gets - looked over. He signs slowly, trying to come up with the right words. There are so many of us, and Lo'ak can be… he grins at her.
Skxwang? Hahana signs back and Neteyam's grin widens, spreading further up on one side in a lop-sided way Hahana tries not to find endearing.
Sometimes. His smile softens. I was going to say a handful. Hahana finds herself grinning at him and he continues. Thank you. Before she can ask him what for, he continues. For noticing her
Hahana turns her gaze back out to where Kiri is, swimming off on her own with her ilu. A frown tugs at her lips as another piece of Neteyam falls into place. He's a protector. Protecting his family while putting hers in danger. She feels her mood sour and her heart tighten in her chest.
Oblivious to her change in demeanor he signs to her. Will we learn to ride - he pauses, trying to find the sign he wants. S-k-i-m-w-i-n-g? He spells out instead.
Tsurak, she corrects him with the Na'vi term, firmer than she has been. He copies her motion, bending one of his fingers more than he should. She reaches out and grabs his hand. Like this, she signs with her other hand, demonstrating the movement again. She watches him repeat her motion and nods. His eyes bore into hers and they are softer than she remembers them. She wonders if she could find a shell that replicated them, the bright yellow with a soft ring of green she had never noticed before.
She pulls her hand back, letting his own float in the water before he draws it back to himself. Tsurak is for Metkayina warriors, she signs to him. For the people. Not for you, she doesn't say. His eyes harden and he nods stiffly, his lips thinning.
No matter how long they spend amongst the people, they are not one of them. The sooner he understands that, the better. Neteyam will always be Omaticaya, outsider, different. A danger, a darker voice whispers in Hahana's head.
It is only a matter of time before they leave to hide somewhere else. Her chest feels heavy at the thought.
Lo'ak speeds past them, dangling off the horn of the ilu's grip for dear life. A laugh bubbles out of Hahana and Neteyam cringes as the youngest Sully loses his grip and flips around in the water again and again before slowing to a disorienting stop. She turns to Neteyam with a grin on her face, but his smile doesn't reach his eyes when he returns it before he rushes over to his brother. His technique on the ilu nearly flawless.
She bites the inside of her cheek. They're not friends, she remembers. She herself has made that clear, but something in Hahana hurts at the rejection. There is a fleeting moment that she thinks of herself as a hypocrite, but she pushes that thought far, far away.
Hahana tilts her head back, allowing Tsireya access to her hair. After their lessons that morning, Hahana spent the evening hunting for seashells amongst the sand. Many new yellow shells are added to her collection and she lies to herself when she wonders when she found the color so fascinating.
Her sister braids the new shells amongst her curls with exact, nimble fingers. Of the two of them, Tsireya has always been the more accomplished braider.
Tsireya reaches down and picks up a yellow conch but Hahana stops her. "Let's do the blue ones today." She gently grabs the conch from her hand and pushes all the yellow shells off to the side. None of them feel right anyways.
"You are lucky Ao'nung was not bothering you and Neteyam all morning," Tsireya says.
"I think he did not want to bother Tuk."
"Tuk left early, did she not?" Tsireya asks, grabbing a blue shell from the floor of their marui. "It was mostly just you and Neteyam."
Hahana hums, arranging the shells out in front of her by color. "I did not notice."
Tsireya mimics her hum. "I am sure you did not. Hand me that conch - yes that one." She pulls tightly on Hahana's hair. "Well, if it wasn't for Ao'nung, Lo'ak and I would have been able to get more done."
"Rotxo was there, too," she reminds her, not liking that blame being shifted to only their brother.
"Yes," Tsireya says. "But we both know who has all the bright ideas amongst those two."
Hahana laughs in spite of the defensiveness she feels for her brother. Of the three of them, Tsireya and Ao'nung's relationship has suffered the most. Hahana pretends she does not notice a change. Either in an attempt to keep the peace or because she is too afraid to acknowledge that the line in the sand grows deeper by the day, she does not know. Nor does she want to. Coward.
"His prejudice against them is unfair."
"It is not exactly unfounded, though, is it?" Hahana turns her head to face Tsireya but her sister gently turns her back so she can continue plaiting her hair. Hahana huffs but continues. "Their presence here puts us in danger. If they had not -"
"I do not know how many times I can hear the same argument from the two of you," Tsireya says in a harsh tone that takes Hahana by surprise "If they had not come here, they would have gone somewhere else, yes. But they did come here."
"And that decision has put us all in danger, Tsireya!" Hahana pulls her head back and this time her sister releases her braid. She needs to understand what this will cost them; Hahana needs to make her understand. Her self-righteousness has no place in a world where these sacrifices will get her killed. "They are being hunted and now so will we be for harboring them!"
"Would you rather it have been someone else?"
"Yes!" Hahana hisses. Her chest heaves and her hot cheeks cool as the disappointment crawls across Tsireya's face. "Yes, I would rather it be anyoneelse."
"Would you allow your heart to be so selfish?"
"If it kept my family safe? Yes. Everytime." Her chest heaves and her face grows hot.
"And pushing off your responsibilities onto others went so well for you last time, did it not?" Hahana's stomach drops to the floor and it must show on her face because Tsireya immediately looks remorseful. "Hahana, I am sorry. I did not mean it. I would never-"
"Stop," she raises her hand. "I will not discuss it."
Tsireya sighs. "I am sorry." She reaches out for her hair and Hahana turns around, allowing her to return to her braiding. A silent truce to drop it in a way only sister's can behave. The only thing keeping Hahana from running is knowing that her braids are not finished and anyone who saw it would know something was going on to cause her to leave looking so haggard. She does not have it in her to answer any questions.
Tsireya braids in silence while Hahana's thoughts trip over themselves. This conversation did not go the way either sister wanted and Hahana still must work to convince Tsireya she and Ao'nung are right. Their brother may be more aggressive in his tactics, but Hahana's passiveness cannot be mistaken for acceptance. As she works up the courage to speak, Tsireya interrupts her.
"I overheard you and father the other day," she starts carefully, slowing in her braiding. "About Etera and Pania."
Hahana stiffens and Tsireya ties off the braid she is working on. She clenches her jaw and wills her heart to calm. She had only just managed to escape one conversation with her sister, she does not know how much patience she has for another tonight. "There is nothing more to say than what has been said," she says.
Tsireya moves to sit on her knees in front of Hahana. She wrings her hands together, eyeing Hahana's own as if she wants to reach out and hold them. Hahana folds her hands in her lap, out of reach.
Tsireya sighs and Hahana can hear years of judgment in it. "Do you plan to ignore them forever?"
"No," Hahana scoffs, defensive. "I am not ignoring them. They are not here, are they?" Hahana can hear her voice growing shrill and her anger towards herself grows at her inability to remain calm. She wants to scream but instead digs her nails into her palms. "Cannot ignore someone who is not around to ignore." To her own ears she knows she sounds like a petulant child and the look in Tsireya's eyes tells her her little sister thinks so as well.
"Hahana," Tsireya says in the same tone her father used during the conversation in question and she tenses, every muscle in her body going taut, readying her to spring at a moment's notice. "You cannot avoid them forever."
"It is a good thing I am not avoiding them." Hahana purses her lips and makes to stand but Tsireya's hand on her shoulder stops her with more force than she would expect. She looks up at her sister, actually looks at her, and sees the pain in her own eyes reflected back at her. It makes her stomach flip.
"Hahana -"
"Are you finished?" She hisses, pushing away and rising to her feet without waiting for an answer, braids completed or not. Something she should have done when their conversation first took a turn for the worst. She storms out into the night air and Tsireya's calls fall on deaf ears.
no beta no proof reading we die like men