Full disclaimers in Chapter 1

ALERT: If you have not watched the show yet, there might be spoilers.

DISCLAIMER: I do not own Rizzoli & Isles nor any of the characters from the show. I am writing this purely for entertainment, not profit. Rizzoli and Isles are property of Tess Gerritsen and TNT.

I am not a native English speaker, and I don't have a beta. So all mistakes are 100% mine.

Enough of disclaimers and warnings – read at your own risk. Reviews are always welcome!

Season 3 – Episode 14 – "Over/Under"

"Thank you for coming." Jane thanked Maura. Maura had not skipped a beat, she responded to Jane's text immediately and had driven in record time to get so fast to Jane's apartment.

"Don't throw them away!" Maura protested, seeing Jane put the socks without pairs in the trash can.

"They don't have partners. They're making me sad."

"Okay. Tell me what he said."

"He is having surgery to remove bone and shrapnel." Jane said, and observed Maura's face fall. "What? What's with the weird look?"

"It's nothing."

"Hives, Maura. Even white lies make you itch."

Maura sighed.

"Okay. Casey's condition is called cauda equina syndrome. From what I've observed in him, it probably involves T-11 and 12 and maybe l-1."

"Same question ... why the weird look?"

"Surgery on a partially impaired paraplegic is very risky."

"Well, you're not a neurosurgeon."

"You're right. I'm not."

"So no guessing. I just want to pretend like it's all gonna be fine. Can you do that with me?"

"I can try." Maura conceded. She could see Jane was in denial. And right now, her friend needed a friend, not a doctor.

…

"Thank you for coming." Jane offered, maybe for the third time in the past hour.

"Of course, Jane."

"No, I meant it. You are the first person I think of when I need help…"

"And you can count on me." Maura offered, sympathetically.

"And I am sorry…" Jane continued, sheepishly.

"Why?" Maura asked, puzzled.

"Softball… I was not fair to you…"

"It did sting, Jane, but I was not hurt. I know your competitive nature. I just wish that you could see the bridges you were building not only with me, but with the rest of my team, regardless of the results… The result of an amateur game should not take precedence over human connection."

"That is why I am sorry. I didn't even consider how you – or they – felt. I acted like a bully. I am sorry."

"Well, your heart is in the right place. No bully would have been a sport in the end. No bully would have so graciously handled the surprising news about Frost's mom."

"It was beautiful to see, wasn't it? Frost is a great guy, I am glad things worked out so well."

"Me too. And thanks for saving me from the awkward self-invitation for the wedding..."

Jane only smiled, fondly. Maura had come long ways on her social cues, but every now and then she would slip, and it was cute to watch, especially when it had been harmless like earlier that day.

(…)

Maura had tried hard. She really had.

Jane had asked "I just want to pretend like it's all gonna be fine. Can you do that with me?"

And so Maura tried.

And to her credit, she managed to do that while she stayed with Jane last night. Maura had distracted Jane, made sure Jane ate at least something before downing more beers than it was advisable on a weekday, but Maura knew that was the distraction Jane needed.

Jane was knocked out in bed, lightly snoring, when Maura finally made her way back to her own house.

And that was when keeping her promise of "pretending like it was all going to be fine" had begun to fall short… Maura had begun some research, that extended well into the night.

(…)

"Hey. What are you doing here?" Jane asked, surprised to find Maura sitting at the steps in the entrance of her building.

"I know you wanted me to pretend that everything will be fine."

"What's that?"

"It's some research I did on decompressive lumbar spine surgery."

"I don't want to know."

"Jane, you need to know."

"Why? I mean, he said goodbye, Maura, so..."

"Jane, if you care about him, you'll look."

"How bad is it?"

Maura hesitated a bit. There was no way to soften what was in the research.

"Bad."

"What am I gonna do?"

"I wish I knew."

Seeing Jane visceral reaction, Maura automatically passed an arm around her, Jane's head finding its way on Maura's shoulder.

Maura was not sure how long they have been sitting by the stairs outside of Jane's apartment building. She needed Jane to look at the research Maura had done and curated, so Jane could try to convince Casey not to do the surgery. Maura was concerned. Really concerned. Only a desperate person would resort to that kind of dangerous and risky intervention. She could understand how desperate Casey might be to consider that. And she hoped Jane might be the person capable of shining some reasoning on his decision before it was too late or before he did something that there would be no turning back from.

But before Maura could share all of that with Jane, Jane needed to be at a point where she could at least look at the research. And the always-so-sure detective quietly crying with her head in Maura's shoulder was not yet at that stage.

Maura really wished she knew the answer Jane asked from her the moment she sat by Maura, about what Jane could do, besides trying to convince Casey not to do the surgery… Maura wished she could somehow erase the worry and unease clearly unsettling the always so confident detective. But she had nothing else to offer except information and her endless support, that would need to be enough for now.

"Jane? We should go inside…" Maura whispered softly, her hands warmly caressing the long arms Jane had wound around her.

Jane was quiet, but she nodded, sniffling. She inhaled deeply, and steeled herself to stand. Maura was by her side, a hand on her elbow, as they made their way up the stairs to Jane's apartment.

Jane opened the door, and put the deadbolts after Maura came in.

Jane sighed again, and extended her hand: "I am ready to see that research now, if you will."

Maura eyed her, doubtful, but set up the computer by the kitchen aisle, allowing Jane to read.

"I am not sure if I am following it…" Jane said after a few minutes scrolling the pages back and forth, rubbing her eyes and her tired face with her scarred long hands. Jane realized that was probably already not as scientific or technical as other things Maura had read, but it was still way above her understanding – or maybe it was just way above what she wanted, was ready or was even willing to understand.

Maura sighed. "This type of surgery. It can be life threatening, Jane. He is risking his life to get his walking back." Maura summarized, trying to get straight to the point.

Jane froze, her body tensing like a well strung instrument, shutting her eyes, her mouth closed in a thin tight line.

Maura could sense Jane was completely overwhelmed, and nothing she would say now would be processed by Jane. Maura had seen Jane that way before, and Jane would shut off any new information until she could be back to grasping the meaning of what was floating around her.

"You know what? I will show you tomorrow, at home, okay? I have a skeleton there, and I will explain it better by showing you. For now, you should try to get some sleep…"

"I am not sure if I can… Too much going on in my mind, you know…"

"Let's try it, shall we?" Maura said, gently, pushing Jane on the small of her back towards the bedroom. Maura could feel, with each step, the tension and the fight slowly washing away from Jane's muscles, leaving only the weariness of a tired body and an overwhelmed mind behind.

When Jane turned on the lights on her bedroom, she was surprised to notice that her unpaired socks had been retrieved from the trash, been rewashed and re-dried, had found their pairs, and were neatly waiting for her on top of her bed. She looked sideways to Maura, who offered her a side smile.

"They all have partners now, Jane. You will too…"