Wish Upon a Ghostory

by Pentalithia

Inspired by the special units in Magia Record, this aims to be a retelling of the Bakemonogatari series shifted into the Madoka universe. None of the main characters of the Madoka franchise are slated to appear in this story. Since it's a Magical Girl story, the primary viewpoint is shifted to the girls instead of Koyomi.

"Kiss-shot Ace-Laura-Orion Heart-under-Blade!"

The woman spun to face the person shouting her name. Originally a phrase she concocted to shout out as her ultimate attack, at some point it had become her very identity, an expansion of her birth name, Laura. She was tall, with long, blonde hair that glowed slightly from the light of her magic, and she wore a simple strapless red cocktail dress with black accents at the waist and chest.

"The hell d'you want?" Laura shouted back.

"I've finally found you, mother of all vampires! I've come for your head!"

Her opponent was a magical girl, a full three heads shorter than her and probably still in grade school, with short blonde hair. She was already transformed, a pink button shirt and white suit jacket with a prim matching pencil skirt, looking for all the world like an office worker… if you ignored all the strange frills, like that gold trim along the skirt's hem and at the jacket's cuffs, or the golden epaulettes, or the white and pink striped tights. Far more striking than her outfit, however, was the gigantic crucifix she casually rested on her shoulder. It was easily three times the size of her body, yet she hefted it effortlessly.

"All vampires?" Laura said incredulously. "Come on, there can't be that many… I only made a handful of thralls in hundreds of years."

The girl cackled.

"That's hilarious! You didn't even know!?" she shouted. "Those thralls, as you call them, can make even more vampires!"

"And how exactly could I know about that?" Laura retorted. "I've been in Japan for the past four hundred years, and the only thrall I made in that whole time… killed himself five days later."

"I… I can't believe you," the girl said. "Vampires descended from you have spread so much misery across east Europe and west Asia, and you… you… you have no idea what you've done!? That's fucking hilarious!"

Her laugh seemed more deranged than amused.

Laura sighed. "Look, if you're gonna kill me, then just get on with it," she said. "I don't have all day."

The girl nodded. "It will be my pleasure… but before that, let me introduce the person who will end your life," she said. "My mother was a human, but my father was a vampire. I am the vampire-slaying dhampir, Episode!"

Was there really a point in giving all the auxiliary details? Laura sighed, but nodded.

"Right," Laura said. "A pleasure to meet you, Episode. This should be fun. After all, as an immortal undead abomination, I am very interested to learn if you can kill me."

Laura transformed for what must have been the first time in nearly ten years, donning the hated outfit that reminded her of the wish that she'd horribly botched, so long ago. It was a pink frilly knee-length dress with white petticoats, paired with horizontally-striped purple and white knee-high socks, a pale pink ribbon tied in a bow at the base of her back, and a purple ribbon tied in a bow atop her head. At her throat, her soul gem took the form of an orange gemstone shaped like a ring. Along with the outfit, she also grew large bat-like wings, which emerged from her back as she unfurled them.

At the same moment, Episode flung that massive crucifix. Though Laura leapt into the air, the crucifix clipped the toes on her right foot as it spun through the air, wrenching her foot backwards and shattering her ankle. The crucifix also flashed on contact, emitting a searing light that scorched her lower legs. It burned like sunlight used to, before she got acclimated to it.

Episode cackled as she teleported into the crucifix's path and caught it deftly, spinning it to rest on her shoulder once more, and Laura flapped her wings and turned to face her. The burns had already faded thanks to her regeneration, and her foot was almost healed already too.

"My healing power has grown a lot in the past few hundred years," Laura said. "I suppose that comes from all the idiots hunting me… not that I mind though, as it keeps things at least a little interesting for me. But the point is, a mere broken ankle doesn't even affect me."

Episode cackled again as two other figures showed up atop nearby buildings.

"Still, it's three against one," she said. "You'll wear out long before we do, and when that happens… I'll take your grief seed for myself!"

"I'm going to have to disappoint you," Laura said. "I don't understand why, but it seems I can't even die by turning into a witch. If I could, I would've been dead centuries ago. I've lost count of the number of times my soul gem grew so clouded I couldn't even move."

Episode stared. "That… that's impossible," she said. "That… that's hilarious! You can't be serious!?" She took a deep breath, then glared up at the flying woman. "Well, if I can't claim your grief seed, I can at least shatter your soul into a billion pieces," she retorted.

Laura looked around at the two others who looked like they were planning to join the fight. One was an older magical girl, a giant woman with dishevelled flaming red hair, held back from her face by a white hairband. Unlike Episode, she had not yet transformed, and was dressed simply in track pants and a short-sleeved button shirt. Her face was particularly striking, with a large jaw and exceptionally bushy eyebrows, but her eyes looked more bored than anything else. The third person was not a magical girl at all, but a man in robes resembling those of a priest. That caught Laura's interest – to her understanding, only magical girls could use magic, and even without their magic they had superhuman strength and reflexes. So, how exactly did that man intend to fight her?

"So you're ganging up on me," Laura said. "Well, you'll probably need the extra help anyway, so I can't complain. Do I get to learn the names of my other would-be murderers?"

The giant woman spoke up in heavily accented Japanese.

"If it pleases you," she said. "I am Hedwig Dramaturgy. Although I am a vampire myself, I have made it my duty to help keep our numbers low. Otherwise, humanity could be exterminated."

Laura blinked. "What!? There's that many vampires out there? Just how many are there!?"

"Indeed," Hedwig said. "A conservative estimate is seven million worldwide, primarily concentrated in eastern Europe, west Asia, and the American southwest."

"They can't all be because of me…"

"It is not certain," Hedwig said. "Many have traced their ancestry to you, Laura of Wallachia, but it is possible there are other magical girls who were vampire progenitors."

Unlike Episode, she seemed to be quite polite, almost apologetic. If she was going to be like that, why was she even here?

"As for me," the priest said. "I don't share my name with monsters. All you need to know is that I am an exorcist of the Vatican, code-named Guillotine. It is my sworn duty to exterminate your kind."

"Tell me, Mr Guillotine," Laura said. "How exactly do you define 'monsters'? After all, the only true monsters in this world are witches."

The priest shrugged.

"Witches, magical girls, what's the difference?" he asked. "There is none. You have made a deal with the devil to gain supernatural powers beyond human understanding. I cannot permit such blasphemy. In short, all magical girls are my targets. That said, if they're under thirty, I usually let them pass – they'll probably snuff out on their own anyway, so it's a waste of effort to slay them. In fact, it would create even more work for me."

Laura narrowed her eyes. His calm demeanour was at odds with his words, as if he were simply preaching love and peace rather than the eradication of an entire segment of humanity.

"I see; so you'd even threaten a gentle soul such as Kuzunoha, or a kind alchemist like Pernelle, is that correct?"

The man merely tilted his head.

"If they are magical girls, then they are my enemy," he said. "But there is no way the two you named could still be alive."

"Oh, don't say that," Laura said. "When I was bored out of my mind, it was the thought of one day meeting them again that kept me going. I'm certain they're still out there, somewhere."

"Enough chattering!" Episode screamed. "It's time to start killing!"

---

A girl was walking along, lost in her own thoughts, hands clasped behind her head to feel the spring breeze, her pigtails swaying slightly from the wind. Though it was spring break, she wore her school uniform, as she always did. She tried to put the oppressiveness of her home life out of her mind, instead thinking about the rumours she had recently heard. Could it be true, she wondered? Did vampires really exist? Or was it just a silly urban legend?

As she passed by her school, a sudden gust of wind struck, threatening to flip her skirt up. Spotting a boy from her class staring at her, she quickly brought her hands down to hold the errant skirt in place, but it wasn't clear whether he'd had a chance to see anything…

As the gust died down, she tilted her head slightly and opened her mouth to question him.

"Um…"

"I saw nothing!" the boy said quickly, averting his eyes.

As she continued to stare at him, he turned his back on her, as if to emphasize that he absolutely, definitely, hadn't seen anything. The girl sighed. Being that dramatic about it… he was obviously lying in an attempt to make her feel better.

"Well, to tell the truth, I've come to realize that skirts are totally unsuitable for hiding things you don't want others to see," she said conversationally. "If I cared more about it, perhaps I would've worn a pair of tight shorts as a firewall…"

"If… if you say so," the boy said.

After an awkward pause, he turned and made to walk past her, resuming the way he'd been heading when they first encountered each other.

"If you'll… excuse me…"

The girl however turned to chase after him.

"Hold on a second!" she called.

He ignored her however, walking as fast as he could without switching to a run, making for the river. His speed forced the girl to break right into a run to catch up to him, but she was still able to, grabbing the back of his shirt to stop him before he'd gotten very far across the bridge. Unlike her, he was dressed in casual clothes – jeans, T-shirt, and hoodie, all in dark colours. It was spring break, after all. It was stranger that she was wearing her uniform.

"You walk so fast," she sighed, gasping for breath a little. "It was tough catching up to you…" She suddenly smiled. "You're Araragi-kun, right?"

He turned to face her, staring.

"H-how do you know my name?" he asked.

"Why are you so surprised?" she asked. "We're classmates, after all. You're Araragi Koyomi. Shall I spell your name out for you?"

He stared for almost a minute before it seemed like a lightbulb lit up inside of him.

"Ah! Hanekawa!?" he gasped. "Hanekawa Tsubasa…"

"I'm surprised you remembered me," she said. "I don't really stand out that much."

"Yet on last year's finals you got a perfect score in every subject," he said. "Even in art and physical education, somehow… except for one little tiny mistake."

She blinked at him in surprise. For someone who hadn't even recognized her, he sure knew a lot about her… they were classmates, so it wasn't strange for him to know, but why'd it taken him this long to notice?

"Ah… that… that's not all that special!" she protested. "How can you even remember that…?"

Koyomi sighed and continued walking, but he slowed his pace and didn't object as she followed him. Once he'd reached the other side of the river, he took a seat on a nearby bench facing the water. Clearly she had gotten through to him a little – if he was sitting down, he must be up for further conversation!

"It's no big deal," Koyomi muttered. "My alien friend told me."

"Wait, you have friends!?" Tsubasa gasped.

"That's more of a surprise than aliens!? Rude!"

Tsubasa joined him on the bench and reached out, gingerly patting him twice on the shoulder. Somehow, it startled her how hard and warm that shoulder felt.

"It's not like that," Tsubasa said consolingly. "You just seem like a hermit who prefers to be alone."

"W-well you're right, I don't have any friends," Koyomi muttered. "Whereas you're so famous even a loner like me knows about you."

"Stoppit!" Tsubasa said. "Don't joke about that! That's not funny!"

They fell silent for awhile, an awkward silence spreading. Tsubasa cast around for a new topic of conversation, and just as Koyomi made as if to jump up and leave, she suddenly spoke up again.

"Say, Araragi-kun… do you believe in vampires?" she asked.

"Uh… what?" he said.

"Lately, I've been hearing rumours about a vampire being in town," Tsubasa said. "They're saying you shouldn't stay out alone at night."

"That's so vague and unfounded," Koyomi complained.

Tsubasa got up and crossed the walkway, stepping up to the railing that ran along the riverbank.

"They say it's a beautiful blonde foreign woman," Tsubasa said, glancing back at him. "And she has eyes so cold, her stare chills you to the bone."

She turned and began to walk along the river, away from the bridge. After a moment's pause, Koyomi followed her, perhaps out of sheer curiosity.

"And… that makes her a vampire, somehow?" Koyomi asked. "Couldn't she just be an ordinary human who stands out because she's blonde?"

"They say her hair almost shines under the streetlights," Tsubasa said. "Yet despite that, she has no shadow."

"Still, it happened at night, right?" Koyomi said. "It's not like streetlights produce sharp shadows in the first place."

"Yeah… I think it's a silly rumour too," Tsubasa admitted. "Still, if it were true, I'd love to meet her. Superhuman creatures intrigue me, you know."

"Superhuman, you say," Koyomi said. "Like a god?"

"It wouldn't have to be a god," Tsubasa said. "Waiting for a god's not worth the trouble. I just want… a change from the monotony of everyday life."

She spun to face him with a smile. A fake smile, to paper over the slightly depressing thing she'd just said. The smile was to convince herself as much as him – after all, the circumstance she had referred to as monotony wasn't simply boring, but downright cruel. Just thinking about it made her feel like curling up in a ball, so she smiled to fence that feeling away.

"I'm sorry," she said. "You're so easy to chat with, so I got a little carried away and said stuff that doesn't even make much sense. It's so weird that you have no friends when you're so fun to talk to, Araragi-kun. Why don't you make friends?"

Whereas her smile was fake, these words were completely sincere. This was the first time she'd ever spoken to this boy, but something about him had drawn her in, almost inducing her to reveal her darkest secret.

"No reason," Koyomi said.

"No reason, you say," she said. "Then I'll be your friend. Wanna come to the library with me?"

In fact, they had just arrived in front of the public library, so it was convenient timing.

"What on earth would I do in a library?" Koyomi retorted.

"Study, obviously," Tsubasa said.

"How's that obvious?" he said. "It's spring break! And I don't have any homework! So why on earth would I want to study!?"

"You'll need to start preparing for university entrance exams soon," she pointed out.

"University?" the boy retorted. "There's no way I could get into a university. I'll be happy if I can just graduate normally. I'm not gonna make university no matter how hard I try."

Tsubasa sighed and took out her smartphone.

"At least let's exchange contact info," she said.

"Uhh… whatever for?" Koyomi asked.

"Just take out your phone!" Tsubasa insisted.

Though reluctant, the boy dug out his own smartphone, and they tapped them together. A beep signified the successful exchange of information.

"Thanks," Tsubasa said. "Now we're friends."

And without waiting for further response, she skipped across the street, mounting the steps to the elaborate front entrance of the library. She paused to wave at him, and he waved back. Then, just after pushing the door open, she peeked back to see him still standing there, seemingly dumbstruck, so she waved once more. Then she turned and made her way into the library, humming a little as she went.

---

The sun had already set, and Tsubasa stood with her hand on the door to her house, ready to open it, but something made her hesitate. Of course, there was that feeling of not wanting to step into that house, but there was something else as well. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw something move… a cat? She spun to face it, but there was nothing there. Then her eyes spotted something white flitting out from behind a nearby fire hydrant. Curiosity got the better of her, and it would delay her return to that oppressive home, so she turned to give chase.

The creature led her all the way to a nearby park before stopping and turning to face her. It wasn't a cat after all, though it did resemble one a little. The tail reminded her more of a fox, however, and those long appendages emerging from the creature's ears were unlike anything she'd ever seen. There were a pair of gold rings on them, which somehow stayed on in defiance of gravity.

"Hanekawa Tsubasa," the creature said. "Would you make a contract with me and become a magical girl?"

Tsubasa stared at it, her mouth agape. After close to a minute, the creature tilted its head.

"Did you not hear me?" it said.

Tsubasa blinked.

"Ah… I must be imagining things," she muttered. "There's no way an animal like this can speak…"

"I am not an animal," the creature said. "My name is Kyuubey."

She closed her mouth, staring for a good twenty seconds before finally venturing to speak.

"Are you… a god?" Tsubasa asked.

"Some have called me as such," Kyuubey said. "I cannot say whether they are correct. What is a god?"

"Huh… it's ironic that I'd run into you the same day I said that," she said.

"I do not understand what you mean," Kyuubey said.

Tsubasa giggled. "Oh, it doesn't matter," she said. "But why would you, a god, want to talk with someone as unimportant as me?"

Kyuubey tilted its head.

"Unimportant? Your karmic destiny is quite high, Hanekawa Tsubasa. It would be a mistake to consider yourself unimportant. You could become quite a powerful magical girl."

"What exactly is a magical girl?" Tsubasa said. "I mean… I know the meaning of the words, and I'm familiar with the concept from manga, but… this is reality, right?"

"You are correct," Kyuubey said. "A magical girl is someone who has had their wish granted, and fights against witches in exchange."

"I dunno," Tsubasa said. "I don't think I'd be able to fight…"

"There is no need to worry about that," Kyuubey said. "When you become a magical girl, you will be given a soul gem that grants you the power needed for you to fight."

"So a wish, huh… that's tough," Tsubasa said. "I could wish for a new family, but… that seems somehow too shallow…"

"I can certainly grant that wish, if that is what you desire," Kyuubey said.

Tsubasa shook her head. "Let me think it over for a bit," she said.

"Would it help you to decide if I introduce you to another local magical girl?" Kyuubey suggested.

"Oh? There are others around here?" Tsubasa asked.

"Of course," Kyuubey said.

"What's her name?" Tsubasa asked curiously. "What kind of magic does she have?"

"Her name is Senjougahara Hitagi," Kyuubey said. "Her magic relates to the manipulation of gravity."

Tsubasa blinked.

"W-wow, what a coincidence," she said. "Miss Senjougahara is in my class… has she been a magical girl for long?"

"A little over two years." Kyuubey said.

"Oh my… it's too bad school's out for spring break," Tsubasa said. "I'd like to speak to her a little…"

"Should I introduce you to her?" Kyuubey asked.

Tsubasa shook her head.

"Not right now," she said. "Let me think this over for awhile first."

"Very well," Kyuubey said. "If you need me, simply call for me by name, and I shall appear."

Tsubasa giggled. "Don't tell me, you're stalking me?"

"I will not be following you at all times," Kyuubey said. "I simply have a means of detecting when I am called for."

"I see… well, I suppose I'll see you later," Tsubasa said.

She turned and left the park, leaving Kyuubey behind, but instead of heading home, she walked in the opposite direction. With no particular aim in mind, she simply made her way through the streets. No, that wasn't true. She was trying to pretend otherwise, but she did have an aim in mind. Those rumours about the vampire… she wanted to see them for herself.

Suddenly, she saw a familiar figure standing beneath a street lamp, staring at his phone. It was the boy from earlier, Araragi Koyomi. She broke into a run, opening her mouth to call out for him, but before she could utter a single word, something strange happened.

One by one, all the street lamps went out. Within seconds the entire street was shrouded in darkness. Tsubasa looked around wildly, seeking a cause for the odd phenomenon. For a moment, a shadow flitted across the moon, plunging towards the ground and into a subway station across the street. It seemed like Koyomi had also noticed it, for he ran out into the middle of the road, hesitating for a moment to look around, then made for the subway station, where he stopped to stare at the ground. Tsubasa broke into a run, racing across the street to join him.

She let out a squeal when she saw what Koyomi was staring at. There was a trail of blood, leading straight down the stairs into the subway station. He glanced at her, startled, then looked back at the station and took two steps forward.

"No!" Tsubasa said. "Araragi-kun, you mustn't! What if it's… you know… the vampire?"

He glanced at her again.

"What if it isn't?" he asked. "What if… someone… needs an ambulance?"

"B-but…"

He ignored her protest and began to descend the steps into the subway station.

"You don't have to come," he said.

She hesitated a good thirty seconds, but then hurried down after him.

"I can't let you go by yourself!" she said. "It could be dangerous!"

"Like it'd be any less dangerous with you along," he retorted.

"I could run for help!" she replied.

Koyomi sighed and just continued following the trail of blood. It led through the ticket readers and out onto one of the platforms. There, halfway down the platform, they came across what appeared to be the crumpled corpse of a blonde woman in a red dress.

"D-don't tell me!?" Tsubasa gasped. "Is it… really the vampire!?"

While Koyomi stood there going into shock at the sight of so much blood, Tsubasa hurried forward to check on the woman. Of course, it was a shock to see a human in such a mutilated state, with such a quantity of blood splattered around, but it wasn't like she had never seen blood before. Usually her own, admittedly.

But even so, this wasn't just any ordinary injury. Up close, even she blanched at the sight. The woman had lost both her arms and legs, and lay still on her back with her eyes closed. Tsubasa gulped, trying to resist the urge to throw up, then crouched by the woman to check for vital signs.

"Th-there's no pulse," she said out loud. "And she's so cold… I think… I think she's dead…"

As if in reaction to her voice, the woman's eyes snapped open.

"Indeed," she said. "You shall help me."

Tsubasa lurched to her feet and scuttled back with a gasp.

"W-w-what!? H-how is she alive? N-no, wait… is she… undead? That's why there's no pulse? Oh my god, I think she really is a vampire!"

The urge to vomit became overwhelming, and she fell to the ground and gave in.

"I said you shall help me," the woman said. "I don't care which one of you it is. Both is fine too."

Suddenly Koyomi somehow broke free of his shocked daze and lurched forward, like a marionette.

"A-are… are you okay!?" he shouted. "I'll… I'll get you an ambulance!"

He let out another gasp as his eyes fell on the stumps of her arms, but then he managed to dig out his phone, hands shaking as he attempted to dial the emergency number.

"Ambulance?" the woman said. "I am beyond the help of an ambulance. Even if I still had my arms and legs, I would not be able to move. My soul gem is completely blackened. I have no magic power remaining. Indeed, it is a miracle that I even have the energy to speak to you."

Tsubasa gasped, staring at her.

"A… a soul gem!? Are you… a magical girl!?"

"But of course," the woman said.

"You're… not a vampire?"

"Can I not be both?" the woman replied. "No… an ambulance will not help me now. What I need is your blood. Either of you… or both, I care not. I am Kiss-Shot Ace-Laura-Orion Heart-under-Blade, the iron-blooded, hot-blooded, cold-blooded vampire, and apparently the mother of all vampires. And yes, I am a magical girl as well. I still kill witches every now and then, when I get bored. Let me take your blood as my flesh. I demand your blood. You must give it to me."

That was such a long name… Tsubasa decided to just think of her as Heart-under-Blade for now. She was mostly recovered the initial shock of the woman's terrible injury and was starting to feel a little excited. A real vampire lay right in front of her, after all. It felt like an adventure.

"I thought vampires were immortal," Koyomi muttered.

His voice was nevertheless readily audible in the silence of the subway platform.

"I've lost a lot of blood," Heart-under-Blade said. "And my magic, as I said, is completely depleted. I no longer have the power to regenerate. In fact, I believe I am about to die. Strange how, when it comes down to it, I still instinctively struggle to survive…"

"S-so um… you need… blood?" Koyomi stammered. "C-can't you… just get a transfusion? H-how much do you need?"

"Hmm," Heart-under-Blade said. "It's hard to say, but… everything you have should be enough to keep me alive for now."

"I see… all I've got…"

Tsubasa gasped. "H-he'll die if he gives you all his blood!"

Koyomi took several steps back.

"N-no… no… I… I can't…"

"W-what!?" Heart-under-Blade gasped. "I-it's okay! You won't die!"

Koyomi continued backing off towards the stairs that lead off the platform.

"Y-you… you're joking, right?" Heart-under-Blade said. "You'd refuse to help me!?"

He didn't stop moving. Heart-under-Blade turned her head to gaze at Tsubasa.

"And… w-what about…"

"D-don't look at me!" Tsubasa gasped, lurching to her feet.

No way was she going to give up her life for someone she'd just met! Even if they were a vampire!

"No… I beg of you!" Heart-under-Blade said, tears suddenly starting to leak from her eyes. "Don't go! I'm sorry! I… I… I'm not ready to die yet, after all!"

Suddenly Koyomi turned and broke into a run, and Tsubasa leapt after him. As they raced for the stairs, despite her earlier claims that she couldn't move, Heart-under-Blade somehow managed to lurch into a sitting position for a moment, flipping herself over onto her front, fruitlessly clawing at the floor with the stump of her right arm, severed at the elbow. But Tsubasa and Koyomi barely saw it as they raced up the stairs, gasping for breath. The woman's apologies followed them as they fled, echoing up the stairs behind them.

They didn't stop running until they'd reached the final flight of steps leading up to street level, where Koyomi stopped, gasping for breath, and flopped onto the bottom step. Tsubasa stopped too, leaning over to rest her arms on her knees and catch her breath. They stayed there for several minutes, their breathing slowly returning to normal. Then Tsubasa spotted a white figure off to the side.

"Will she be okay?" she asked out loud.

"That woman is indeed on the verge of death," Kyuubey said. "However, her power is a little unusual. She has been on the verge of death many times before, and yet, somehow she has yet to die. So… I cannot answer your question. I do not understand her power myself. It may be that she can survive even if you do not choose to help her. Then again, it may be that she will die today without your help."

"Is that so…"

She looked at Koyomi, who was clutching his head in his hands and muttering under his breath, like a madman, repeating the same words over and over.

"I'd die… she's a monster… she's a vampire… I don't have to help her… right?"

But anyone would be go a little mad after seeing something like that, right? If anything, it was strange that Tsubasa was so calm. No, more than that, she felt exhilarated. Was she actually having fun despite the morbidness of the situation? Or… perhaps even because of it?

"Why… why did she have no pulse?" Tsubasa asked.

"That is just the way she is," Kyuubey replied. "Ever since she made her wish, her body has been like that. She has no pulse, no heartbeat, no body heat, and when asleep, she does not even breath."

"So… she's undead," Tsubasa said. "A vampire…"

"She is a magical girl," Kyuubey said. "Vampire is merely a label that humans have given her."

Suddenly Koyomi lurched to his feet, startling Tsubasa.

"I… I have to…" he said.

Tsubasa grabbed him by the shoulders.

"No! You can't!" she said. "You'll die if she takes all your blood!"

"That is incorrect," Kyuubey said. "If that woman uses her power on him, he will not die of such a thing."

Tsubasa turned to look at him, blinking.

"O-of course… she's a vampire…"

Koyomi shook himself free of her grasp and ran off, not up the stairs, but back the other way, towards where they'd abandoned Heart-under-Blade. Tsubasa broke into a run as she chased after him.

"Even so… is that what you want, Araragi-kun!?" Tsubasa shouted. "What if you turned into a vampire too?"

"I… I have to!" Koyomi said. "She's in trouble… I can't… I can't just leave her!"

That attitude came as quite a shock. He wasn't even thinking about himself, she was sure. The only thought that crossed his mind was the idea that he could save that woman. She couldn't help but think that it was an admirable way of thinking. Unlike her, who was only thinking about herself, about how exciting this was, he actually cared about the well-being of a woman he'd never even met before. She knew she should care too, but she just couldn't.

So they returned to where Heart-under-Blade lay, now face-down on the ground, her eyes closed once more. Tsubasa stopped at the bottom of the stairs, watching in morbid fascination as Koyomi ran forward and gripped the woman by the shoulders, hefting her with surprising ease. Was he really that strong? Or was Heart-under-Blade just oddly light, maybe due to missing her limbs?

"Don't give up, moron!" Koyomi shouted.

The vampire's eyes snapped open again.

"Are you really okay with this?" Heart-under-Blade asked. "I may have been a little desperate earlier… I'm sorry… I don't know what came over me."

"Of course I'm not okay," Koyomi retorted. "Dammit! Why!? How did it even come to this!? I swear I'll do better in my next life!"

Heart-under-Blade actually chuckled. "What are you talking about, you dummy?" she said. "You're talking as if you're about to die!"

"I'll help you!" Koyomi said, lifting his head to meet her eyes. "I'll give you my blood! All of it! Every last drop!"

"Thank you," Heart-under-Blade said.

And with that, she leaned forward to chomp down on his neck. As she did so, her hair began to glow, and Tsubasa let out a gasp as she spotted movement by her feet. There was something there, a small, blackened stone, and she bent down to pick it up… but darkness was being drawn out from it, pulled out from the stone and injected into Koyomi's body. It was that transfer of darkness that had drawn her attention to it. Tsubasa marvelled as the orange shine of the gem beneath the darkness became apparent… but it wasn't purified completely. Only about a third of the darkness was removed before it stopped.

Tsubasa looked up at the two of them, laying there on the ground. She took a few steps forward, tentatively. Suddenly, the woman began to shrink, the dress becoming baggy, and then she stood up and stretched, the clothes falling away to leave her naked. Though her body was now whole, it was also that of a grade-schooler. She eyed Tsubasa.

"What about you?" she asked. "You gonna give me your blood too? I could probably be back to full power in a flash if you did."

"U-um… no thanks!" Tsubasa said quickly.

"Well… you shall at least give my soul gem back," Heart-under-Blade said.

Tsubasa looked at the miraculous gem in her hands.

"This… is your soul gem?"

Heart-under-Blade nodded. "Guess I dropped it while fleeing here," she said. "I was in such a bad state that I shouldn't really be surprised… I'm just lucky I was transformed when I lost my limbs, or it would've been gone right along with them."

"Is… is Araragi-kun alright?" Tsubasa asked.

Heart-under-Blade shrugged. "He should be? But it's been hundreds of years since I've made a thrall… and I wasn't so weakened then. So it's really hard to say. I think he's alive, at least…"

"Um!" Tsubasa said. "I… I can't give you blood, but… perhaps… I could find you some clothes?"

"Ohh!" Heart-under-Blade said. "That would be awesome, thanks! Although, it's pretty late. Will you be able to find clothes at this time of night?"

"Ah… you have a point," Tsubasa said. "In that case… we should… find a place for you to hide?"

Heart-under-Blade bent down and gathered Koyomi up, effortlessly hefting him across her now-tiny shoulders.

"Well, if you've got any ideas, then lead the way," she said.

"Um… hmm… places to hide," Tsubasa said. "Maybe… someplace far from the town centre…"

She turned and led the way out of the subway station, pondering ideas, but she couldn't think of anything. However, as they exited the subway back to street level, another figure stepped out from the shadow into the lamp light – the lights had all come back on by this time.

"Looks like you guys are in a spot of trouble."

Tsubasa gasped, glaring at the man standing there.

"S-stay away from us!" she said.

"Oh, come now," the man said. "I don't mean you any harm. You're a girl with the potential to become a magical girl, are you not? I heard you talking to yourself earlier, in the park."

Tsubasa tilted her head. "To myself? But Kyuubey was there."

The man shrugged. "Only magical girls, or those who can become magical girls, can see Kyuubey," he said. "So what we have here are a potential magical girl, a magical girl vampire, and a vampire thrall. And I'm sure you don't want people seeing you like that, now do you… Laura of Wallachia?"

Heart-under-Blade gasped. "D-do you know me!?" she asked. "No, wait… are you with the ones who attacked me?"

The man shook his head. "No, no, nothing like that," he said. "In fact, I'm something of a mediator. If you'd like, I could help you negotiate with those three."

"I doubt they'd be open to negotiations," Heart-under-Blade retorted. "Well, the giant might be, I suppose, but the other two…"

"Well, you never know until you try," the man said. "More importantly, I know a great place for you to hide."

"What sort of place?" Tsubasa asked warily.

"There's an abandoned cram school not too far from here," the man said. "I can even put up a barrier so those three won't discover you there."

"Why are you doing this for me?" Heart-under-Blade asked suspiciously.

"No real reason," the man said. "I suppose I just didn't like how those three were ganging up on you."

"So um… the three people you're talking about," Tsubasa said. "Did they cut off your arms and legs?"

"Yeah," Heart-under-Blade said. "Such a pain… with time I can certainly regain my original form, but… if I could at least get those limbs back, it'd cost me far less magic… but for now, I need rest. You! Show me to this hiding place!"

The man grinned. "I knew you'd be interested," he said. "Right this way."

"Wait!" Tsubasa said. "We can't follow someone when we don't even know their name!"

"Oh, is that all you're worried about?" the man said. "I'm Oshino… Oshino Meme, at your service."

---

"Now that I've settled in here, it's time for you to spill it."

They were on the roof of the abandoned cram school. Laura stood on a chair to bring her eyes level to Meme, who was leaning on the wall of a section of the structure that continued up another two storeys. He tilted his head at her. The man had a brazen attitude that somehow got under her skin just from looking at him.

"Spill what, exactly?" he asked.

"First of all, let me make myself clear," Laura said. "I am Kiss-Shot Ace-Laura-Orion Heart-under-Blade. Call me Heart-under-Blade. And you… you are Oshino Meme, correct?"

The man nodded. "That's me. Heart-under-blade is so long though… I know, what if I actually write it out?"

He whipped out a sharpie and drew on the wall next to him – the kanji for 'heart', underneath the kanji for 'blade'. Then, next to that, he redrew it as a single character, with the strokes overlapping. Then he added small characters just above it, furigana indicating the pronunciation.

"When combined like so, it yields 'patience', you see?" Meme said. "And since it's a name, it can be read Shinobu. Therefore… I shall call you Shinobu from now on."

Laura stared at him for a minute or so. He was clearly the type to just do as he pleased, so even if she were to protest, she didn't suppose he'd give up the name. Then again, it wasn't a terrible name.

"That's… ugh, fine, I don't care," she said. "Let's move on to the important things. You're no magical girl… you're not even a girl at all. So how is it you're able to construct a barrier that can suppress my magical signature?"

"Oh please," Meme said. "Since when is magic the exclusive domain of magical girls?"

What kind of question was that? In all her nearly six hundred years of existence, Laura had never met a single person who was not a magical girl yet could use magic. She had certainly run into many magical girls – the alchemist Pernelle Flamel and that old fox Kuzunoha remained the fondest memories of such encounters, while many others attacked her on sight.

Laura blinked. "Since… always…? I thought?"

"Well, you're not wrong to think that way," Meme said. "You magical girls have it easy, you know. Just make a wish and gain awesome powers! But what if you hadn't made a wish? It's not like the wish gives you magical potential out of nowhere. No, only those who already had the potential can make a wish. So it follows that… the wish is just a shortcut. Shouldn't you be able to make use of that magical potential without making a wish? And as it turns out, magical potential isn't just limited to young girls, either. All humans have some level of magical potential."

"That… that makes a lot of sense," Laura said. "But… why have I never heard of this before? I'm just two years shy of six hundred, and yet… not once have I met someone like you."

Meme shrugged. "Hey, it's not like it's easy," he said. "It's really hard. So people like me are pretty rare. Which makes it all the more amazing that you've met two in such a short time. That Guillotine guy… he also used magic, right?"

She thought back to her battle with him. Certainly he had used some strange thread techniques, deploying countless nearly-invisible threads across the battlefield. One of those razor-sharp threads had even taken a limb off. The level of control he demonstrated over the threads probably couldn't be described solely by physical skill… and while it was faint, she did recall sensing magic in those threads.

"Now that you mention it, it's true," Laura said. "It wasn't very powerful or flashy magic, but… he too challenged the assumption that magic was the exclusive domain of magical girls…"

Laura sighed and twirled her hair for a bit. It was weird being in such a small body. She looked to be somewhere around eleven or twelve years old, it seemed. Though she'd adjusted her age in the past, usually on a whim, she'd never taken on the form of a child since she first grew out of childhood.

"Well? Was there something else you wanted to ask?" Meme asked.

He'd hit the nail on the head. Certainly, Laura had been pondering just how to phrase the question. Since she couldn't think of anything, she decided to just be blunt with it.

"Why did you do this for me?" she demanded. "Is it because when it came right down to it, I wasn't prepared to die after all?"

"You may not realize it, Shinobu, but you're actually pretty famous back in your homeland," Meme said. "Tales of the woman from whom the vampires sprang are told in houses all across Romania, or so I hear."

"Romania? But the country I come from was called Wallachia…"

Meme chuckled. "You're really behind the times, huh?" he said. "The merger of Wallachia and Moldavia into a single country is practically ancient history by now."

"Ah… so the name of my homeland has changed," Laura said. "But… to tell the truth, any attachment I had to that place has long since evaporated. It was the place where I suffered the most, after all. It's no wonder I haven't kept myself up-to-date on a land I've long since abandoned."

"But to answer your question," Meme said. "I was intrigued by your resolve that was so easily shattered. When you faced those three down, you said you were ready to die, and yet, you fled and grasped at the slightest hope to live. Which one represents your true feelings, Shinobu?"

Again he'd hit the nail on the head. Was he psychic or something? He was able to construct a barrier that would dim her presence, after all. Could it be that he could read minds as well? But no… his actions didn't seem like those of someone who could read minds. Still… he'd correctly detected Laura's conflicted feelings on life. She didn't want to live. She'd wished to die nearly six hundred years ago, and instead, she'd received an immortal body that never died, yet couldn't even be called alive by normal standards. She'd spent a little over a hundred years just seeking death.

Then she'd come to Japan and met Pernelle and Kuzunoha.

The meeting had been short. It hadn't even left that much of an impression on her at the time. And yet, as the years wore on, she began to find herself looking back on those days as some of the best of her life. Both of them were older than her when they met. There was every chance that they could still be alive, right?

"That… to be honest, I do want to die," Laura said. "But… when I realized I was on the brink of death… I suddenly remembered the friends I made when I first came to Japan. As long as there's still the slightest hope of seeing them again, I think it'll be difficult for me to die."

"So even someone like you had friends, huh?" Meme said. "Interesting. Well… I'll watch over you for awhile. We'll see how you really feel soon enough, I suppose. Anyway… did you hear something just now? I think you'd better go check on that boy…"

Laura blinked. Through the connection she could feel with her blood thrall, the first she'd made in hundreds of years, she could tell the boy had started moving without her realizing. In fact… it seemed like he'd already stepped out of the building. Meme must have realized this too, for he walked over to the edge of the roof and peered down.

"It sure is fortunate for him that not all the myths about vampires are true," Meme said. "Otherwise he'd be burning to a crisp right now."

Meme was both right and wrong. Back when she made her wish, the sun had burned her. It wasn't anything like spontaneously lighting on fire, more like an extreme sunburn, but it had taken her nearly fifty years to get used to being outside during the day. Of course, that had been hindered by her fear of even attempting to brave the daylight, and she probably could've acclimated in a much shorter time if she'd tried, but still.

"Even so… he's newly-converted," Laura said. "The sun will still burn. He would need some time to get used to it."

Just then, a gap opened in the overcast sky, and a ray of light burst through from the morning sun. The boy down on the ground screamed as it seared into his skin, and Laura leapt off the building without hesitation. She could see him covering his face with his arms in a vain attempt to ward off the sun's embrace. Even though he wasn't literally on fire, it must have felt about the same. To Laura, it was little more than a tingling, an irritation no worse than pins and needles, but for Koyomi… she shuddered a little as she remembered that pain from the early days of her life as a magical girl. Surely he was experiencing something similar.

Laura landed next to the screaming boy, bodily seizing him and dragging him back into the cram school, out of the direct sunlight. He lay on the floor, gasping for breath, but after a bit, he sat up and looked around in confusion.

"Huh? I'm not… on fire?"

Laura crouched next to him, shaking her head.

"Good grief," she said. "Jumping straight into the sunlight like that… how stupid can you get?"

Koyomi spun to face her, staring at her.

"Your average vampire would pass out in an instant," Laura continued. "You can't just jump in cold turkey. You should avoid the sunlight for awhile. Don't go outside while the sun is up. Although you're immortal, so you won't die, the pain will be… well, like you just felt. It's like your whole body is on fire, right? At least the fire's all in the mind, but it still hurts like hell."

When he just stared at her, dumbstruck, she sighed and stood up. With him sitting and and her standing, she still came in at about a head taller than him, so she smiled and patted him on the head. He actually looked a little cute this way, like a dog. She let out a girlish giggle at the thought.

"Although, it's an open question whether the undead can be considered alive in the first place," Laura added.

Koyomo blinked a few times before repeating one word back at her.

"Undead?" He blinked again. "W-wait… are you…?"

"That's right!" Laura said. "I very much am Kiss-Shot Ace-Laura-Orion Heart-under-Blade. Call me Heart-under-Blade."

As she recited her exceptionally long name, Koyomi got to his feet, leaving her looking up at him, instead of down. In her new child-like body she was just a little over half his height. However, she grinned at him. Height differences didn't matter, anyway.

"It has been about four hundred years since I last made a thrall," she said. "I can count on one hand the number of thralls I've ever made. You recovered pretty quickly from that pain, so I'd tentatively call this a success."

Koyomi blinked. "Thrall? D-does that mean… I have to obey everything you say?"

Laura shrugged. "Why, would you prefer I stripped away your will?" she asked. "I can do it, if you'd like… but it would be really boring, so I'd rather not."

Suddenly she frowned and crossed her arms. It would be awfully inconvenient if she just had to refer to him as 'boy' all the time, wouldn't it?

"Come to think of it, I never did get your name, did I?" she said. "I suppose it doesn't matter… your original name is no longer meaningful. Still… I can't help but be curious about it."

"Um… I'm… Araragi Koyomi," he said.

"Hmm, I see," Laura said. "Well, welcome to the world of vampires… the world of the night, for the most part. From this point on, you shall be my servant."

She walked past him, heading for the stairs, and after a few moments he followed her. As she mounted the stairs, she stole occasional glances back at him. He was kind of scruffy-looking, but she felt like she didn't really mind that…

"Where are we?" Koyomi asked after they'd gone up two storeys.

"I believe it was called a cram school," Laura said. "It seems to be abandoned though. Apparently it went bankrupt a few years ago. That makes it a suitable hiding place."

"Next question, Kiss-Shot," Koyomi said.

Another nickname! But Koyomi might actually listen if she protested, unlike Meme… well, that was only her assumption, but still.

"Hold on!" Laura protested. "I told you to call me Heart-under-Blade!"

"But that's way too long," Koyomi said. "I prefer Kiss-Shot. It's short. Can't I call you that?"

Laura stared at him for several seconds, then looked away. She wasn't wrong, exactly. If she insisted on it, she had a feeling he'd back down, or at least choose a different nickname. However, after the experience of losing her limbs and coming so close to death, she didn't feel like she had the energy to spare for something so frivolous.

"Oh well," she said. "I don't care all that much. Call me however it pleases you. I do not have a reason to forbid it."

She pushed open the door from the stairwell and entered a hallway, where she plopped down on a bench. Koyomi took a seat beside her, and she looked at him, head tilted. He seemed like he had questions galore.

"So?" she said. "What's your next question?"

"So… I turned into a vampire, right?" he asked.

"Is that not obvious?" Laura asked. "Do I need to spell it out for you? Geez… you're surprisingly dense… you've become my thrall, so you now share a portion of my power. You should consider it an honour, my servant."

"Why do you have a child's body now?" Koyomi asked. "Earlier you were… uhh… older-looking? And… your limbs…"

"I took all your blood," Laura said. "That restored some of my magic power. It wasn't enough to fully heal me, but it was enough to convert my incomplete woman's body into a smaller, complete child's body. Creating new mass out of nothing is magically expensive, you see… but reconfiguring takes very little magic."

Perhaps it was a side-effect of her younger body, or perhaps it has something to do with admitting to Meme how she felt towards Pernelle and Kuzunoha, but ever since she'd spoken to that man, she'd been feeling oddly restless. She hopped up with a sigh and made for the stairwell, turning to wait for him to follow.

"Even so, I was literally running on empty when you found me, so I didn't even have enough for that. Your blood may have been insufficient to restore all my power, but even so, you did save my life."

"T-that's great!" he said. "So, you're okay now, right?"

Laura shrugged.

"Not exactly," she said. "After all, right now, I have only just enough magic power to maintain my body for a few days. I basically can't use any of my magic powers right now. It's kind of inconvenient. If only I could get a grief seed, I'd be fine… but if I went hunting, the people who did that to me would find me immediately and finish the job."

She re-entered the stairwell and began ascending the stairs once again. She didn't really have a particular goal in mind. She just felt like moving around.

"All that said, you're still my servant," she added without looking back. "Do not forget that."

She paused on the landing to turn and gaze down at him.

"I may look like this now, but I am a vampire who has lived for nearly six centuries," she said. "You are but a newborn vampire. Know your place when you address me!"

Koyomi nodded as he caught up to her on the landing.

"I understand…"

"Then pat my head," Laura commanded him.

"Right…"

Koyomi did as instructed, but it seemed to Laura that he was lingering too long and ruffling her hair up too much. After several seconds, she gently pushed his arm aside.

"That should do," she said.

"Why did you turn me into a vampire?" Koyomi asked as they resumed their climb. "I was prepared to be sucked dry and die…"

"It's not that I intended to make you a vampire," Laura said. "It's a side-effect of drinking your blood to extract the magic power. Or perhaps you could look at it in reverse and say that gaining that magic power is a side-effect of turning you into a vampire. Either way, the two effects come as a set. That is all."

"I see," Koyomi said. "And… what about… Miss Hanekawa? Is she also…?"

"Is that the girl who was with you?" Laura asked. "She refused to let me drink her blood. I did not wish to force it on her when yours was sufficient to survive."

She owed that girl for the dress she'd donated, apparently old clothing from her own wardrobe that no longer fit. But there was no reason to bring that up now.

"So she's still… human," Koyomi said.

"For the time being," Laura said. "Who knows how long that will remain true, however."

After all, that girl appeared to have magical potential herself. Surely it was only a matter of time before she went and made a contract. Well, it was her own choice if she wanted to throw her life away like that. And who knows, maybe she'd actually think of a smart wish.

"W-what's that supposed to mean?" Koyomi said.

"Never mind that… since I have you, my servant, I will have you act in my stead," Laura said.

"What do you want from me?"

She wasn't looking forward to facing her would-be assassins again, so she figured she might as well fob that off on her new minion. He didn't have a soul gem, so he might even be able to do a better job of taking them down than she could.

"For starters, if we could recover my original limbs, my expected remaining life span could be increased from days to weeks. Therefore, I'd like you to fight the people who stole them from me, and recover them."

They fell silent for a bit, and then Koyomi spoke up again.

"Can… can I… return to being human?" he asked.

The question startled Laura. Though he was the first thrall she'd made since one of them committed suicide in front of her, several hundred years ago, that man hadn't been her first ever thrall. Back when she was still a child and young woman, she'd converted several people, and none of them had ever asked to return to being human.

But then an idea struck her. Perhaps she could use this as a way to finally attain peace. She didn't know of a way to reverse her magic that made him a thrall, but she knew it would cease to function if she died.

Laura pondered the idea for a few moments. She thought she wouldn't mind if Koyomi were the one to end her life. Still, he didn't seem like the sort of person who would do it if she asked – especially since he already sacrificed his life to save hers. She'd have to come up with a way to make him regret that choice…

So with that plan in mind, Laura exited the stairwell and spun to face him.

"Well… there is one way," she said. "Although I can't guarantee it, the chance of success is about ninety percent."

"So… if I get back your limbs… you'll return me to being human?" Koyomi asked.

"Hmm," Laura said. "Is that how you want it to be? Alright, then sure. Let's do that."

Laura barged into a random empty classroom and flopped down on a row of chairs. Koyomi pulled up a chair and took a seat facing her.

"Now then, let me tell you about the enemy," Laura said. "There's a little girl named Episode, who wields a massive crucifix as a weapon – you'll want to make sure to dodge that thing. There's a giant woman named Hedwig Dramaturgy, who seems to just fight with her fists. And lastly there's an old man who goes by the alias Guillotine. He looks like a priest, and he fights with threads, so you'll need to be careful against him or you'll lose an arm before you've even realized."

"They're the ones that killed you?" Koyomi asked.

"Are you out of your mind?" Laura retorted. "They have yet to finish me off. They only deprived me of my limbs. I no longer stand a chance of beating them, not without my magic. Therefore, you shall face them and take back my limbs."

"Huh? But… they defeated you, right?" Koyomi said. "How could I possibly…? Won't I just be killed instead?"

"You fool!" Laura said. "You still think as though you were human, but you're now a first-generation vampire. Even that Dramaturgy woman can't be anything less than a fourth-generation vampire, so you should be able to defeat her easily."

"Eh? What's this about generations?" Koyomi asked.

"Need you ask that?" Laura said. "Well, it is quite simple. I am… if not the first vampire, at least one of the first ones. Your power comes straight from me, the vampire progenitor."

"Ah… so you're not… just any ordinary vampire," Koyomi said. "But… doesn't that make things even worse? They were able to defeat you easily, despite all your power…"

"I was not at full strength when they cornered me," Laura said. "Furthermore, they all came at me at once, making it difficult to fight. And right now, I am powerless. You could kill me with a simple clench of your fist."

She removed her soul gem ring from her middle finger and closed one eye, peering through the ring at him.

"You could crush me into a million shards with just your fist," she said. "And there would be nothing I could do to stop you. All I can do right now is move around and talk."

As she was about to place the ring back on her finger, she happened to notice that the strange symbols on the underside were different from what she remembered. She'd had no reason to look closely at her ring for hundreds of years, but she was pretty sure there had originally only been five large symbols. Now it instead bore three lines of much smaller symbols. Did that mean something? She had no idea whatsoever.

"So you're actually a weak vampire?" Koyomi asked.

"Idiot!" Laura shouted. "That was not the point I was trying to make at all! The point is, you're far stronger than you realize! As long as you fight them one at a time, you should have no problems winning! This is such an easy task I've given you!"

"A-alright, alright, I'll go! You satisfied!?" Koyomi complained.

Laura nodded. "Then, come nightfall, you shall hunt those three down."

It seemed to be going well so far. All she had to do now was play her part to be as arrogant as possible. As attached as the boy was to his identity as a human, she doubted he'd be on board with the concept of magical girl supremacy. And if that wasn't enough to make him doubt, she was also a vampire. She could play that up to eleven as well. What would he do if she claimed to practice cannibalism?

Would it work? It was impossible to tell, and it was certainly ridiculously complicated when she could just crush her soul gem in her hand if she really wanted to.

But she wouldn't be doing it like this if she could actually bring herself to do that.

---

Once again, Tsubasa was out for a nighttime walk to escape her oppressive home. As she walked, that boy came to her mind, and her feet took her towards the abandoned cram school. There she spotted him, sitting on the side of a planter, with a book on his lap.

"Araragi-kun!" she called.

He looked up, startled, and stared at her for several seconds.

"Um… Hanekawa!?"

She stared back at him, tilting her head slightly, then suddenly brought her hands down to hold her skirt in place, although the air tonight was completely still.

"Not a chance," she said. "This time you don't get to see it."

"I… I have… no idea… what… you're… talking about!" Koyomi stuttered.

"So you're playing dumb, huh," Tsubasa said, giggling a bit.

"What are you doing here, anyway?" Koyomi asked.

"Just taking a walk," Tsubasa said.

"At this hour!?"

Tsubasa plopped down beside him and peered at the book he was reading, which appeared to be about baseball.

"What're you reading, Araragi-kun?" she asked. "Baseball tips?"

Instead of answering, Koyomi snapped the book shut and turned away to hide it.

"What, is that something I shouldn't be seeing?" Tsubasa asked. "But it's just baseball… it's not even like it's a pervy book… right?"

"Of course not!" Koyomi said. "I would never lay a finger on such vulgar products! It would stain my soul!"

He surged to his feet.

"W-well then! If you'll excuse me!"

"Hold on!" Tsubasa shouted as he walked away. "Why don't we chat a bit longer?"

When he didn't stop walking, she jumped up to run after him. After about thirty seconds, he stopped and turned to face her.

"Chat? About what?"

"Let's see…" Tsubasa said. "How about… vampires?"

"Y-you can't!" Koyomi shouted. "She'll… she'll…!"

Tsubasa tilted her head. "What, you think I can't handle a kid?" she asked.

"She's no kid!" Koyomi shouted. "She's six hundred years old and as strong as a horse!"

"Oho, are you feeling outclassed?" Tsubasa asked, grinning. "By a kid?"

Koyomi glared at her.

"It's not that and you know it!"

Tsubasa giggled. "Well, I suppose you're right about one thing," she said. "She may look like a kid now, but… she really isn't one… anyway, I was actually hoping I might be able to talk to her."

"Why?" Koyomi asked. "Aren't you afraid of her? Why would you want to just… talk with a vampire!?"

"There's no coherent reason," Tsubasa said. "I guess I just want to… spice up my life a little… you know? Living in a fantasy world is something of a dream, don't you think?"

"It's not a joke!" Koyomi shouted.

"Eh?" Tsubasa said, startled at the sudden outburst. "D-did I say something to offend you?"

Koyomi turned his back on her.

"No! You offend me! You piss me off! Rub me the wrong way! I'm alone because I want to be! Just leave me be!"

"W-what's gotten into you, Araragi-kun!?" Tsubasa asked. "Until just a moment ago, you were having fun chatting with me!"

"It wasn't fun!" Koyomi shouted. "I was just pretending! You're the top student, so you should just leave a failure like me alone! Maybe it makes you feel superior, but you're so condescending it kills me!"

He whipped out his phone, turning to face her as he fiddled with it a bit.

"And my phone's not your toy!"

He turned it to show the screen, ready to delete her contact info with a single button press… and while she stood there, dumbstruck, sure he'd never do it, he actually went ahead and pressed the button, eliciting a little gasp of shock from her.

"Please, go away!" he shouted.

They stood there for a good thirty seconds while Tsubasa struggled to hold back her tears. Finally, she managed to let out a single word without sounding like she was crying.

"O-okay."

Then she turn and ran away, the tears flowing freely down her face. She rounded a corner and flopped down on the ground, leaning on a nearby planter to bury her face in her arms, sobbing. She'd thought she was being nice to him. She'd enjoyed their conversations so far… but… if he really hated it that much… then what was the point, anyway?

And yet…

Slowly, she managed to calm down, and the more she thought about that exchange, the more she couldn't shake the feeling that there was something… off about it. The way he'd said those cruel words… the way he'd hung his head while shouting them at the top of his voice… were those really the honest words of a person who truly hated her? Or… were they deliberately cruel barbs, carefully crafted to drive her away for her own protection? He seemed to think the vampire lady was dangerous… but she'd seemed pretty decent to Tsubasa, in the short conversation they'd had.

"B-but how do I confirm it…?" Tsubasa muttered out loud.

"You seem like you are having some issues."

Tsubasa lifted her head to look at the diminutive white speaker with those round, red eyes, like jewels.

"Perhaps you have thought of something to wish for?" Kyuubey continued.

"No…" Tsubasa said sourly. "I'm in no mood for your crap right now… I need to think, really hard…"

"Is that so?" Kyuubey said. "Well… if your thinking does not reach a solution, then you know how to call me."

"Right…"

With that, the creature just hopped down from the planter and trotted off. After pondering the situation a little more, Tsubasa finally came to a conclusion, nodding firmly to herself.

"I… I have to… talk to him, one more time," she muttered.

She got to her feet, wiped away her tears, and brushed herself off, then headed back the way she came, searching for him. It began to rain, a trickle at first, then a downpour, but she ignored it. It wasn't as though she had an umbrella, anyway. She made straight for the abandoned cram school, certain she'd find him somewhere near there. Once she arrived, she took shelter from the rain under the eaves, then worked her way around. Suddenly, she heard a bang, followed by another noise, like an unpleasant combination of a thump and a squelch.

Tsubasa broke into a run, rounding the corner just in time to see the strange spectacle playing out in front of her. There was a huge woman wielding a pair of serrated swords, at least a hundred and eighty centimetres tall, running across the courtyard towards the stairs where Koyomi stood. However, he appeared to have gotten his hands on a bucket of baseballs, which he was flinging off one after the other, like a pitcher on the mound. Each fling was accompanied by a bang, something like the crack of a whip, or even a gunshot, and every time one of the baseballs struck the huge woman, she was pushed back a little from the impact. It appeared her face was already battered and broken from the barrage, too.

As Tsubasa watched, the woman suddenly seemed to decide that enough was enough. She threw herself down on her knees. Koyomi ran out to meet her, hefting a hand-powered road roller over his head with one hand as if it weighed no more than a feather.

"What are you playing at, Dramaturgy!?" he shouted.

"As you can see, I clearly give up," the woman said. "I see your strength. If you hit me with that, not even someone like me could take it. I'd take two whole days to regenerate."

Koyomi dropped the roller haphazardly on the ground, leaving it at an odd angle, but he said nothing.

"I see you don't really understand," the woman said. "Most vampires can't regenerate lost limbs so quickly. You're exceptional. I suppose it stands to reason, given that you're a first-generation converted directly by Heart-under-Blade herself, the vampire progenitor. Even if you're stronger than me with nothing more than brute force, it was my hope that I could win with my superior experience, but it appears that I was wrong. Hunting you down is impossible for me. Or, to put it another way… never again will I come after you. Just, please, spare my life."

By the time she'd finished speaking, she had crouched completely into a kowtow. After Koyomi nodded, she got to her feet, left him a duffel bag, and turned to walk off. Koyomi stared after her for a long time… long enough that the rain petered out and stopped entirely, long after she had disappeared from sight. Tsubasa meanwhile just stared at him, so dumbstruck by the whole scene that she wasn't sure what to do.

Finally, Koyomi let out a sigh.

"Got the right leg," he muttered.

His voice broke the spell on Tsubasa, and she took a few steps out from under the shelter of the cram school. Perhaps he heard her, for he spun to face her, staring at her like she was some sort of monster. She hesitated a moment, but then ventured forward again, approaching him where he stood in the middle of the courtyard.

"Um, so… what just happened here?" Tsubasa asked. "Tell me, Araragi-kun! I was watching from afar, so I couldn't see it very well, but it struck me as a scene from some fantasy novel…"

"It's none of your business," Koyomi retorted. "Why were you following me, anyway? You make no sense. I told you to leave me alone. You're just being nosy, going on about being friends for some stupid reason."

Was it as she'd suspected? It was hard to tell. Were those words what he sincerely felt, or were they carefully chosen to hurt her, to drive her away for her own protection? Tsubasa took a deep breath, pondering the question. Finally she looked up and tried to meet his eyes, but he didn't cooperate with her attempt. That settled it.

"You know, you don't normally say things like that," she said. "Which means, you must've said it for my sake, right? Because, you're in a situation where you don't have another choice. I'm sorry for not realizing sooner."

He ignored her and walked past her, heading up the stairs into the cram school.

"I'm sorry!" Tsubasa called. "I… I just… want to help you!"

Koyomi stopped, about halfway up the stairs, and replied without looking back.

"How can you be so damn pushy!?" he shouted. "You're reading too much into this!"

He looked over his shoulder at her.

"I was just bored being around you," he said. "It's as simple as that. I like being alone."

Tsubasa shook her head. There was no way those words were the truth. The way he said it, a slight tremor in his voice… she couldn't shake the sense that he was crying inside at the thought of hurting her with those words.

"I can tell," she said. "You're being dishonest. There are antisocial people, and there are people who turn their backs on society. That's fine… they're happy with the way they are. But you… you're not one of them. That much is obvious. The other day when you were talking with me… at least then, you seemed to be enjoying yourself."

Koyomi turned to face her.

"Idiot!" he shouted. "I was just after your body, you fool!"

An awkward silence fell, and they stared at each other for what seemed like an eternity. Although she was sure he was still saying it just to drive her away… Tsubasa got the feeling that it wasn't entirely a lie. Perhaps he really was attracted to her. Even so, she didn't think that had been the first thing on his mind when they were chatting… he hadn't been staring at her assets at all. Of course, without the ability to read minds, she might never know for sure. Still… she opened her mouth to respond, but then he beat her to it with an utterly ridiculous suggestion.

"So!" he shouted. "If you want to help me so badly… let me seem them again! Then maybe I'll reconsider!"

Tsubasa's mind raced. Was this guy serious!? Who would ever make such a request with such a serious look on their face? And yet… she was certain now. That was more than likely exactly why he'd said it. No girl in her right mind would accede to that request in a vacuum. It was obvious that the speaker was just a perv who had no class.

But… that was exactly why… she had to do it. He was putting on this cruel and foolish act to drive her away, so the only way to show she was serious about wanting to help him was to give in to his ridiculous request. It wasn't so bad… he'd seen them once before, after all. A second time… was still embarrassing, but…

"F-fine!" she shouted.

She grabbed the hem of her skirt, closed her eyes tightly, and jerked it up to around chest level. As she thought, it was embarrassing. She felt something like anger welling up within her. How dare he force her to do this!?

"Like this!?" she shouted angrily, opening her eyes. "Can you see that alright!? Shall I take off my blouse too!? Do you want me to strip naked!? Or even—"

In an instant he was in front of her, a finger pressed up against her lips. He must've moved so fast she didn't even see the motion.

"That's enough," he said. "I'm sorry for being so cruel. Would… would you please… become my friend?"

Tsubasa let her skirt fall back where it belonged, her anger evaporated in an instant, beaming at him hunched over in front of her.

"Now you're talking," she said. "That's all I've been asking for this whole time. So, tell me, Araragi-kun… is there anything I can do for you, as a friend?"

Koyomi straightened up and tilted his head, considering.

"W-well… maybe… some fresh clothes would be nice," he said.

"You can't go home, right?" Tsubasa said, nodding. "I could fetch some clothes from your house."

"Yeah… you can't go to my house," Koyomi said. "My little sisters would eat you alive."

"I'm sure they can't be that bad!" Tsubasa protested.

"You must have heard of the Fire Sisters!" Koyomi said. "Everyone in this town knows about them!"

Tsubasa blinked. "O-oh… so those legendary troublemakers are your sisters, huh? I… I see… alright, then just give me your sizes and preferences. I'll buy you something."

"S-sure…"

He recited his clothing sizes, and she nodded and said goodbye, turning to head home. The clothing stores wouldn't be open at this hour, so she'd go first thing in the morning. When she paused to look back, he was already gone, presumably inside the building.

---

After shopping for some men's clothes the next day, Tsubasa headed for the cram school once again. It was more than just wanting to help that boy. She simply did not want to be in that house, where her parents would no doubt treat her like she didn't even exist. And besides, staying up late was sort of fun, in a weird way.

She spotted him waiting by some stairs and waved, then broke into a run. They ascended the stairs together, heading inside to a room on the third floor which looked like it had once been a classroom. The vampire was there too, sleeping on a row of chairs laid out in front of a window. She had significantly grown since Tsubasa saw her last and now looked to be at least thirteen years old. Leaving the duffle she was carrying on a desk, Tsubasa took a seat facing the other girl and tentatively reached out to ruffle her hair. The vampire squirmed at her touch.

"It's my fault, isn't it?" Tsubasa said.

"Huh?"

"That you ran into her," Tsubasa said. "They say if you speak of the devil, he'll appear, right?

"I doubt that's how it works," Koyomi said. "Besides, you were the one who brought the rumour up in the first place…"

"I don't think it's that specific," Tsubasa said. "But then again, I did run into her too… right, Araragi-kun?"

"Speaking of which, you were looking for the vampire, weren't you? Isn't that why you were out so late at night? Why would you do that?"

"I wasn't all that serious about it," Tsubasa said. "I was just… shooting for the moon? How should I put it… I was kinda lost. It's just like I said before. I wanted some spice in my life."

"Spice, you say…"

"I suppose you could call it escapism."

"On the other hand, I just want to return to reality…" he muttered.

Tsubasa turned her seat so she could face him.

"Don't worry," she said with a smile. "I'm sure you can."

They fell silent for a few minutes, and then Tsubasa spoke up once more.

"I may have said I wanted to help you, but… without magic powers of my own, I'm not sure how much I can even do," she said.

"Oh, I dunno about that… you got me some clothes, right? I'm grateful for that."

"Oh, don't mention it," Tsubasa said. "Why don't you get changed already? Those clothes you're wearing are a mess."

He opened the duffel bag and stared. Tsubasa tilted her head.

"Did I get the right size?" she asked.

"Uhh… y-yeah," he said.

When he made no move to take any of the clothes out from the bag, she prompted him again.

"What's wrong? Aren't you going to get changed?"

"Right…"

She watched as he stripped off his torn jacket and shirt, eyeing him curiously.

"Say… I sort of noticed yesterday too, but… hasn't your physique changed a little?" she asked. "I almost didn't recognize you from behind…"

There was a clatter as Laura sat up behind them, and both Tsubasa and Koyomi turned to face her, startled. Her eyes fluttered open, peering at them almost accusingly.

"It's the vampire regeneration, probably," she said. "Your body will subconsciously approach your ideal form… given all those muscles, I suppose you're the type who idolizes fitness."

Laura hopped up and walked over to him, prodding him in the solar plexus.

"Oy!" Koyomi protested. "That hurt!"

"Eh," she said. "You're alright, I suppose."

Then she made for a different line of chairs and flopped down again. Tsubasa glanced at Koyomi, who seemed a little dumbfounded, and then she giggled a bit.

"She's kind of cute like that."

She stared at him until he became self-conscious, turning around to grab a shirt from the duffel bag and pull it on. It looked like a perfect fit.

"Looks like I did get the right size," Tsubasa observed.

"Thanks, Hanekawa," he said. "I owe you one for this."

"Don't mention it," Tsubasa said. "I kind of want to do even more for you but… it's difficult…"

"No, this is more than enough," Koyomi said. "Thanks a lot."

"Really, it's fine!" Tsubasa said. "I mean, we should all help each other in times of need… so if there's anything else I can do, please, just say the word!"

She looked around at the room they were in, with chairs strewn all over the place, some stacked, some knocked over.

"Actually… why don't I clean this room up?" she suggested. "It's such a mess…"

"It's fine," Koyomi said. "It was like this when we got here… there's really no point in organizing it anyway. Once I go back to being a normal human, we won't need this space for anything…"

"Well… if you insist," Tsubasa said. "Hmm… so, how do you expect to get your humanity back in the first place?"

"I don't quite understand it, but if I can get Kiss-Shot's limbs back, she promised me she would turn me back," Koyomi said.

"So… can you do that? The woman you were fighting before looked really strong, but you totally beat her, so I guess… it'll be fine?"

"Well, I dunno," Koyomi said. "There's two more people I've gotta defeat, and I think they're probably even stronger than that woman…"

"Huh… so it would really help you to have some magical powers on your side, right?"

"Um… well… I think it should be fine though," he said.

"Well, alright," she said. "But if you need help, seriously, let me know."

Tsubasa didn't really understand why, but she felt ready to use her wish for this boy's sake. It's not like she didn't have plenty of her own problems though, so why did she feel this way? It was so mysterious…

"Well… I'll see you later," she said.

"Yeah."

---

Another day had passed, and Tsubasa was once more approaching the abandoned cram school when the distant sounds of what she assumed to be battle reached her ears, so she broke into a run. Perhaps he would be fine, but she had to see for herself.

She rounded a corner and spotted him, taking hits from a giant flying crucifix while the little girl attacking him seemed to be able to teleport. She watched the battle as closely as she could from a safe distance. There was plenty of light, thanks to a row of street lamps, so it was only a minute or two before she realized the kid's secret. Just before she teleported, the girl turned into mist which then blew over to a new location and turned back into a girl. It wasn't actually teleportation at all – it was just a fast-moving vapour form.

Koyomi wasn't doing well against the kid, either. He was absolutely hopeless at dodging, usually trying to run in the least effective direction, and as a result he kept taking hits from the flying crucifix. Even when he managed to get close to the girl, he couldn't land a single blow. Her small size made it especially difficult for him.

"Araragi-kun!" Tsubasa shouted.

She ran out from the cover she'd been hiding behind until now and waved to him.

"Don't give up! She's mist! She's mist, so—"

But then that giant crucifix came flying straight at her, striking a glancing blow to her side and sending her flying.

"Hanekawa!" Koyomi screamed.

He raced over to her and caught her before she hit the ground, so she managed to strain against the intense pain to repeat her message one last time.

"Araragi-kun… shut up… relax… she's just mist… so…"

The last thing Tsubasa heard before she passed out from the pain was the voice of the mist girl.

"Good god… what a fucking joke."

---

The next thing she heard was her name.

"Hanekawa…"

She opened her eyes, looking up at the night sky beyond those street lamps.

"…Araragi-kun?"

He seemed to be half resting on her, as if he'd been doing CPR or something, and there was a gaping hole in the side of her uniform.

"Say… what are you doing on top of me?" she asked. "Was it you who tore my uniform?"

"I'm sorry," he said. "Just give me a moment…"

She let out a soft sigh as she lay there on the hard pavement, and he leaned over to rest his head on her stomach. Dampness percolated through the cloth of her uniform – he was crying. Tsubasa turned her head and spotted a man standing a short distance away, carrying the little girl in his arms. It was Oshino Meme, and the girl appeared to be unconscious, perhaps even… dead?

"Hey… Mr Oshino… can you tell me what exactly happened?" she asked.

"Oh, was it not obvious?" the man asked.

The man had a point. At least some of the details of what happened were obvious to her. After she'd taken a terrible blow from that girl's weapon, Koyomi must made use of her top to defeat that girl, then rushed to her side.

"You were on the verge of death," Meme continued. "It's almost a miracle you survived that blow. That guy went into a frenzy after you passed out, you know."

Koyomi raised his head.

"Y-you don't have to tell her that!" he shouted.

Then he blinked, his eyes drawn to the girl in Meme's arms.

"Is… is Episode… alive?"

So her name was Episode? What an odd name…

"Not to worry," Meme said. "She's not technically human either, you know. It would take a lot more than that to kill her."

Then, did that mean Episode was a magical girl?

"So um… how am I alive, then?" Tsubasa asked.

"Well, I'll leave that up to your imagination," Meme said.

With that, he turned and walked off.

"By the way, I'll return the old hag's leg for you," Meme added, glancing over his shoulder. "So you take your time with your girlfriend."

"Sh-she's not my girlfriend!" Koyomi shouted.

Tsubasa giggled. "Are you sure about that?"

Koyomi turned to stare at her.

"Eh? Um… well, we haven't even talked about that kind of thing…"

"Well… yeah, I suppose you're right," she said.

She sat up and grinned at him.

"Well, you've got one more guy to beat, right?"

"I guess," he said.

"Who's the last one?" she asked.

"Apparently he's a priest or something," he said. "He calls himself Guillotine, which definitely isn't ominous at all…"

Tsubasa giggled a bit.

"Will you be fighting him tonight?" she asked.

"I think so."

"In that case… let's go for a walk."

He blinked at her.

"A walk? In the middle of the night? Isn't that sort of like a date?"

"Oh, and what's wrong with that?" she asked.

"Uhh… I give up," he said.

"Then let's go!"

She jumped to her feet and reached out for his hands, but he didn't take them, instead jumping up on his own. She pouted a little, but he didn't even seem to notice in the darkness. There were some disadvantages to nighttime meetings, it seemed.

"I've gotta get back by sunrise, though," he said. "Otherwise…"

He shuddered at some memory.

"Oh yeah, that girl… woman… mentioned that," Tsubasa said. "It's been at least a week, hasn't it? I bet you'll be okay now."

He blinked at her. "Huh? Why'd she tell you something that important but not me!?"

"How am I supposed to know?" she asked. "Ask Heart-under-Blade yourself!"

"Fine…"

They made their way to the river, where there was a grassy bank, and left the road to walk through the long grass. Twice, Tsubasa attempted to sneakily take his hand and try to pass it off as an accident, but both times the hand twitched away at the last second, almost as though it had a mind of its own. After walking for several minutes, Koyomi spoke.

"So… your wound," he said. "How is it?"

"There's no sign of it at all," she said. "What exactly did you do?"

"Uhh… you… probably don't wanna know," he muttered. "B-but I'm glad it's okay!"

She gave him a look and huffed.

"Come on!" she said. "It's my body! Of course I wanna know what you did to me!" Suddenly she gasped. "You didn't… turn me into a vampire too, did you!?"

Koyomi blinked at her.

"N-no, of course not!" he said quickly. "I just… b-bled…"

She blinked back.

"Bled…?"

"I mean… you know…"

"Um…" Tsubasa tilted her head. "You bled…" Suddenly her eyes widened. "Oh my god… are you serious!?"

"I told you you wouldn't want to know!" he said.

But Tsubasa was giggling.

"No, it's not that, it's just such a stupid thing to do!" she said. "But I guess it works if you're a vampire, huh? Are you sure that doesn't make me a vampire? I probably have some of your blood in me now, right?"

"How am I supposed to know!?"

Tsubasa ran several steps ahead and climbed up onto a stack of steel girders that for some reason was just sitting there on the riverbank. Perhaps there had been plans to build a new bridge that never got off the ground. She faced the river, placing the horizon at her back, where the sun was finally beginning to peek out. The sky was heavily overcast, so even a sliver of light from the sun attenuated and spread through the clouds, lighting things up more than you'd normally expect at this hour… but it still hurt to look straight at it.

"So, are you hungry?" she asked. "I packed some tomato sandwiches."

She noted that Koyomi didn't seem to have any problems with the sunlight, although she wasn't sure if it was because he had become acclimated to it or because the clouds protected him.

"I'll pass," Koyomi said. "I'm not all that hungry."

"Well, it's your call," she said.

She dug the sandwiches out of her bag and started to eat.

"Oh, I've got an extra cola in here," she said. "Want one?"

"Sure," Koyomi said.

She dug out the glass bottle and passed it to him. He twisted off the cap without even needing a bottle opener, and it fizzed up and overflowed. She'd been running with that bag, so it wasn't all that surprising. Then he downed about a third of the dark liquid in a single gulp.

"I bet you can't even get fat, no matter how much you eat," Tsubasa said. "As a girl, I'm a little jealous… and you don't even need to work out…"

"I dunno how it works," Koyomi said. "I haven't really felt hungry the entire time… ever since I woke up as a vampire. I almost feel like I don't need to eat at all…"

"Don't vampires normally drink blood?" Tsubasa pointed out.

"Now that you mention it… I suppose they do," Koyomi said.

"Do you feel like drinking blood, then?" she asked.

"No… not really…"

He fell silent as she devoured her sandwiches, but then… he suddenly spoke again.

"Actually, Hanekawa… you should probably stop coming to see me," he said.

Tsubasa sighed as she stuffed the remnants of her breakfast back into her bag, shooting him a glare.

"I figured you'd say that," she said. "But I won't have any of it."

"Please… don't feel hurt," he said quickly. "It's not like the other day… that time I was doing it because I didn't want to get you involved, but… it's clearly far too late for that now. But this is different."

Tsubasa raised her eyebrows, glancing at him, then turned to gaze out at the river.

"How so?"

"Yesterday… when Episode's cross tore a hole in you…"

"So that little girl's name is Episode?" Tsubasa said. "She seemed so young…"

Koyomi ignored her interruption and continued his train of thought.

"When that happened… I totally lost it."

"That makes me feel a little flattered, though," Tsubasa said. "It proves that we've truly become friends, don't you think?"

"But m-my blood started boiling, and I thought it was all over," he continued.

"You thought I was dead?" she asked.

"It's not that," Koyomi said. "I mean, yes, I did, but that's not it… I thought it was all over for me… when you got hurt, it felt like I was the one bleeding. Heck, it probably hurt even more than that. Basically, what I'm trying to say is… I don't want to regain my humanity at your expense. I don't want to sacrifice you to become human again."

"Sacrifice?"

Tsubasa glanced at him, then stood up and hopped down from the stack of steel girders before spinning to glare at him.

"I don't really look at it that way at all," she retorted.

"But don't you think it's kind of crazy!?" he shouted. "I've ruined your spring vacation! You almost died! Isn't that crazy to you!?"

"Not at all!" she said, shaking her head. "In fact, I believe it is no exaggeration to say that this has been the most enjoyable spring break of my entire life!"

"I just don't get it," he muttered. "If our positions were switched, I don't think I could go this far… I mean… you're not even immortal… it's so dangerous… I don't think I could stand up so easily after all the things that have happened to you."

He raised his head and looked her in the eyes.

"And yet… somehow… you can do it… I just don't get it," he said. "It… it scares me a little… how can you go so far when your life could be at stake? It kind of creeps me out…"

She broke eye contact, casting her eyes down towards the ground, and he seemed to take that as a bad sign, for he suddenly jumped down and grabbed her by the shoulders.

"P-please don't be upset!" he said. "I… I didn't mean it like that… I just don't get why you'd go so far for me… we may be classmates, but we talked for the first time only a few days ago. How can you be so devoted!? I don't get it! It's like you're some kind of… some kind of saint!"

Tsubasa looked up, a little startled by that comparison. A saint? Really? She didn't feel like any kind of saint. She wasn't doing anything any decent human being wouldn't do. This conversation had taken a confusing turn, and she wasn't sure what to say.

"But I can't shoulder your sacrifice… it's too much for me to bear…"

Tsubasa sighed.

"Araragi-kun… no, Koyomi-kun, you've completely missed the point," she said. "It's not sacrifice."

She pulled free of his grasp, turning to put a little distance between them and stopping with her back to him. Or, it was more like he let her pull free – she could feel the strength in those hands, and she doubted she'd be able to escape if he didn't want her to. That in itself made her feel relieved.

"Do you understand?" she said. "It's not sacrifice."

"What else could it be?"

"Just self-satisfaction. You're misunderstanding… well, just about everything. Or, you know, I think you're not even trying to understand. You're just jumping to conclusions, Koyomi-kun."

She half turned, looking over her shoulder at him.

"I'm not a particularly good person. I'm not especially strong. I just do whatever pleases me. It's pure coincidence that that happens to benefit you."

She turned away from him once more.

"I'm probably more selfish than anyone. I'm pretty cunning and stubborn too, you know. Shouldn't that part creep you out even more?"

She spun to fully face him.

"But I suppose none of that makes sense if I just keep getting in your way," she said. "You don't need any more shopping done, after all… so there's not much I can do for you, not without a miracle."

"There is one thing," Koyomi said. "Wait for me… when the new term starts, at school. I'll look forward to chatting with you again."

Tsubasa giggled.

"Wow!" she said, grinning. "That almost sounded like a confession!"

"I d-didn't exactly mean it like that though…"

"Oh, I dunno," she said. "I think those words might've actually made me fall for you."

He blinked. "Eh?"

She giggled and winked at him.

"Oh? Maybe your strike missed my heart by a hair. Guess it's my lucky day."

"By a hair!?"

"Oh my, that was a close one," she said. "I almost fell for you."

"A-and that's supposed to be a bad thing, is it…?"

"Say, is that how you usually pick up girls?"

"Oh, gimme a break!" he said, crossing his arms and turning his back on her. "I don't even talk to girls, other than my sisters!"

"Playing innocent, are we? But you know, I saw that magazine of yours."

He blinked. "I don't know what you're talking about!"

"Don't try to play dumb," she said. "Heart-under-Blade thought she was doing you a favour by bringing it along, but that girl… she sure looked a lot like me, didn't she?"

"I plead the fifth!"

"Geez… you're hopeless," Tsubasa sighed. "But I'm not as easy as that girl, you know. I'm not the type of girl who hands out her panties to someone she's just met."

"I n-never said you were!" he shouted.

Tsubasa giggled. "Well, I can't give you my panties, but I can give you something almost as good."

He spun to face her.

"W-what are you talking about!?"

Tsubasa reached back to pull her braid over her shoulder, plucking at the ribbon that secured it. With her hair freed from its restraints, she combed her hand through it once or twice to fully untangle the braid, then flicked the now-loose mass of hair over her head and held out her hand, ribbon fluttering in the light breeze.

"Here. You can have it for now. Give it back when the term starts."

"R-right…"

He took the ribbon from her, staring at it for a good minute or so.

"I should return it when the new term starts… right…"

He stared at it for another minute.

"I'm not sure if I can do that… I'll pass it down from father to son as a treasured heirloom…"

"Oh, spare me," Tsubasa retorted. "Just return it and stop saying stupid things."

"Still," Koyomi said. "That aside… I'll be sure to repay my debt to you. If a time comes when you need me… even if I can't do anything for you, I'll be sure to be there."

Tsubasa smiled.

"Honestly? That's all I really ask for. Thank you."

"From this day forward, repaying my debt to you is my very reason for living!"

"Uhh, that's going a little too far!" Tsubasa protested. "At least live for yourself first! And give back the ribbon!"

She turned to run off, but just before she left the shade and stepped out into the early morning sunlight, she turned back once more.

"I know you can do it, Koyomi-kun! You can beat that Guillotine guy and get your humanity back! I'm rooting for you!"

She waved enthusiastically, and he waved back.

"Yeah! I think you're right!"

"Best of luck!"

And then she spun and ran out into the sunlight, her hair flaring out in the wind.

"See you next term!" he shouted

"Same to you!"

When she reached the road, she paused to look back, but he was already gone. As she made her way back, a vaguely familiar voice accosted her, and she spun to see the little girl Koyomi had been fighting earlier.

"Ah! You're… Episode-chan, right?"

"Don't call me -chan!" Episode shouted. "I'm twelve years old! I'm not a kid anymore!"

"Uh… okay," Tsubasa said.

"So, uhh… you're alive, huh?"

"Apparently. You wouldn't believe how happy that makes me."

"F-for what it's worth… I'm sorry I hurt you," Episode muttered. "I didn't expect you to run out so suddenly…"

"Oh… well then, apology accepted!" Tsubasa said.

"But I'm not gonna get all buddy-buddy with you!" Episode added. "You're cozying up to that vampire, so you're basically on the enemy team!"

"Uhh… I see," Tsubasa said. "Um… by the way… are you a magical girl?"

Episode blinked. "Huh? You know about magical girls?"

"Well yeah, that creature's been talking to me lately… what was his name again?"

"Kyuubey?"

"Yeah, him."

"Don't listen to that fucker," Episode retorted. "He lies through his teeth. It's better if you don't become a magical girl."

"Well, even if that's true for you, it's not necessarily true for me," Tsubasa said. "Although it's not like I can decide on a wish, anyway."

"Well, I guess it's up to you," Episode retorted. "If you wanna throw your life away like a fucking tool, then that's your choice."

"Who taught you to speak that way, anyway?" Tsubasa asked. "It's really quite rude."

"No-one taught me," Episode retorted. "Been on the streets since I was four. Parents didn't even bother to give me a name."

"O-ohh… I'm sorry, I shouldn't have brought up bad memories," Tsubasa said.

"It don't matter one bit," Episode said. "Anyway, you should make yourself scarce. Don't want that priest catching wind of you, now do you?"

Tsubasa tilted her head. "Priest… as in… that Guillotine guy?"

"Who else would I be talking about?" Episode sighed. "Geez, you're one dense lady. Well, I'm gonna skip town, so I guess it doesn't really matter to me. Farewell."

And with that, she turned and ran off at an inhuman speed. Tsubasa resumed her walk towards home. After a few minutes, she spotted the giant, just sitting on a bench. Unlike Episode, that woman didn't seem to recognize her, but Tsubasa was curious, so she approached the woman.

"Oh? Whaddaya want?"

"Um, well… I saw you fighting Koyomi-kun the other day…"

The woman suddenly burst out laughing, startling her. Tsubasa watched, bemused, as the woman laughed until she was fit to burst. Finally, she calmed down enough to talk.

"You saw that!? Man, I thought we were alone! That's so embarrassing!"

"So uhh… are you alright after that?"

The woman nodded. "I only took a few minor injuries."

"B-but your face was all beaten up…"

The woman shrugged. "That's chump change for a vampire."

"Ah… so you're a vampire too…"

"Indeed… I am Hedwig Dramaturgy, leader of a small vampire community in Europe. Originally from Ingolstadt, if you were curious."

"Nice to meet you, Miss Dramaturgy. I'm Hanekawa Tsubasa."

"Ah yes, I heard the little white creep talking about you."

Tsubasa blinked. "Eh? You mean Kyuubey?" She tilted her head. "Are you… a magical girl?"

"That's right."

"But I didn't see you using magic."

"Young lady, my magic is not suitable for use on people," Hedwig said. "It would probably be in violation of the Geneva Conventions or something. When hunting vampires, I rely exclusively on my weapons and fighting skill."

"Oh… by the way, which happened first? Vampire, or magical girl?"

"I was a vampire from the age of fourteen," Hedwig said. "Made a wish two years later."

"Why didn't you wish to be human again?"

Hedwig shrugged. "After two years of being a vampire, I'd already settled in to the new lifestyle. It wasn't all that bad, honestly."

"So what did you wish for?" Tsubasa asked. "Ah… but if it's something private, you don't have to tell me."

Hedwig chuckled. "It's nothing all that special," she said. "I won't get into the details, but I made a wish for the sake of my father, whose secret society had recently been exposed."

Tsubasa blinked. "Ingolstadt… that's where the Bavarian Illuminati were founded, isn't it? So then…"

"Wow, you're pretty well-informed," Hedwig said. "It's like you know everything."

Tsubasa giggled. "Oh, please," she said. "I don't know everything… I just happen to know this."

"Modest, too," Hedwig said. "That's a little unusual… when I was at your age I thought I knew everything. But… take my word for it. Unless you want to wish for a true miracle, it's definitely not worth becoming a magical girl. You should work your problems out on your own instead."

"Ah… you think so?"

Hedwig nodded. "Well, that's just my opinion," she said. "It's not that I regret my choice. I've just come to understand that, broadly speaking, it's usually better not to make that choice."

"Well, thank you for the advice, Miss Dramaturgy," Tsubasa said with a bow. "Perhaps we'll talk again someday?"

Hedwig shrugged. "I won't be in town for much longer… but there's always the possibility I'll come by again in the future. So you never know."

"Then I shall say farewell," Tsubasa said.

"Farewell."

She continued on her way home, pondering the complicated situation she'd found herself in. There was the vampire, with her long, unwieldy name. Heart-under-Blade truly fascinated her, as a specimen of the fantasy world she wished she could live in. To suddenly find out that vampires exist was, more than anything else, a joyful revelation. Even if vampires were the enemy of humans, that wouldn't matter to her.

Then there was the boy. It had surprised even her how much fun she had chatting with him, teasing him, bantering. As he'd said himself, he was so unlike her, a studious student with top marks, and yet, she found herself utterly fascinated by the weird things he sometimes said. Despite her denial of it to his face, she was pretty sure she'd fallen for him, hard.

And finally, Kyuubey. The magical girls she'd met so far – Heart-under-Blade, Episode, and Dramaturgy – had all seemed to warn her away from contracting, yet to her, it was a golden opportunity to escape her mundane life. In fact, she'd already decided she was going to contract. The only remaining question was deciding what to wish for. Sure, she could wish for an improvement to her home life, but as Hedwig had said, that was something she could theoretically achieve with her own effort. It would be better to wish for something truly miraculous.

A strange noise drew her out of her thoughts, and she looked around in confusion. She'd been on a familiar path towards her house, yet she didn't recognize her current location at all. It looked positively Escherian. In fact… she blinked, looking left, right, and then turning around. It was almost like she'd actually stepped into an Escher painting.

That noise came again, and she spun to face it. There was, for lack of a better term, a creature some thirty metres ahead of her, with the space-defying form of Escher's impossible triangle, or to give it its proper name, the Penrose triangle. Such a triangle was technically possible in reality thanks to an optical illusion, but that required viewing it at exactly the right angle – on the other hand, this creature constantly rotated yet still managed to maintain its impossible form.

Suddenly, the creature glowed, and some instinct told her that it was going to shoot, so she threw herself to the side just in time to avoid what appeared to be a laser blast, leaving a scorch mark on the ground.

"What the heck is this!?" Tsubasa wondered. "How did I get here? Where is here!?"

She picked herself up and dodged behind a convenient column as the creature fired on her again. But then several more of them showed up. Looking around, she could see she was surrounded.

"Oh no… is it all over for me…?"

But then someone new leapt onto the scene, a tall girl about her own age wielding a massive hammer. She had long purple hair and wore an outfit that had the appearance of a school uniform, the shirt white on the top half and blue below the chest, the skirt purple with a blue diamond pattern along the hem. She also wore thigh-high blue stockings, silver high-heeled sandals that laced up halfway to the knee, and two orange hairpieces that resembled… ears? No… as Tsubasa watched, she saw them open for a moment, then snap closed. They were not ears but crab-like pincers.

With an incoherent yell, the newcomer swung her hammer, smashing through the encroaching ranks of the creatures. In just two swings, nearly all of them were destroyed, and she spun to face Tsubasa, who blinked in surprise. That face was familiar.

"Thank you very much, Miss Senjougahara!"

It was her classmate, Senjougahara Hitagi, the veteran magical girl who Kyuubey had mentioned when he first appeared.

"Are you an idiot?" Hitagi asked bluntly, though her face showed no sign of emotion. "Are you trying to get yourself killed, class president?"

"Eh? No… I didn't intend to come here! It was an accident!" Tsubasa looked around. "Where is here, anyway?"

The answer came not from Hitagi, but from Kyuubey, who appeared from around a corner.

"This is a witch's labyrinth," the creature said. "And those were its familiars that Senjougahara Hitagi just destroyed."

"Whatever," Hitagi said. "I can't let this witch get away again, so if you don't wanna die, follow me closely."

She spun and stalked off, and Tsubasa hurried after her. More of the familiars appeared, but Hitagi smashed them all to smithereens before they could even fire off their beam weapon.

"So um… are they weak, or are you just really strong?" Tsubasa asked.

"Don't ask me," Hitagi said. "I just kill them whenever I find them. It makes no difference whether they're weak or strong as long as I can destroy them."

"I… I see…"

They made their way through the Escherian painting in silence for several minutes until finally they arrived at a large door with strange symbols on it. Hitagi paused to look around, and Tsubasa took the chance to examine the symbols.

"Say… it just struck me," she said. "This labyrinth… it looks like an Escher painting, right? There are six letters in Escher if you write it out in romaji, and there are six symbols on this door… is it a coincidence? The first and fifth symbol are even the same…"

"I haven't a clue," Hitagi said. "Those symbols show up everywhere in labyrinths, but I've never tried to figure out if they mean something."

"Hmm… it's interesting though," Tsubasa said. "You'd think they do mean something…"

"Maybe they do, and maybe they don't," Hitagi said with a shrug. "It makes no difference to me."

With that, she swung her hammer and smashed the door down, then charged on through. Tsubasa tentatively followed her into a wide room. In the center was another geometrical impossibility, like a pile of various Penrose shapes glued together into an eldritch monstrosity. As she watched, Hitagi leapt high up into the air, floating there as if she were weightless, then released her hammer once she was above the monster. It fell like a ton of bricks, smashing through the witch and making a crater where it landed. It didn't seem to be able to recover from that, for after a few seconds the rubble crumbled to dust, leaving behind nothing but a small black orb. Hitagi fell back down to the ground, landing lightly, and leaned down to grab it. At the same time, the Escherian landscape around them shimmered and vanished, replaced with a familiar view of the streets of Jouetsu.

Hitagi powered down, revealing her choice of casual wear – short beige shorts, black tights, a white blouse, and a red cardigan left unbuttoned except for the top button. She had her hair tied into twintails.

Turning to face Tsubasa, she stepped forward to grip the other girl's shoulders.

"Next time, you'd better be more careful," she said, emotionless. "You should usually be able to see the labyrinth entrance before you stumble into it, as long as you're paying attention. It would look like a sort of weird round thing just hanging in the air. Most people can't see them, but you seemed okay in there so I expect you'd be able to."

Tsubasa nodded. "Okay… thank you very much, Miss Senjougahara."

"I didn't do anything worthy of thanks," Hitagi said. "I was just doing my job, and you happened to be there. That's all."

With that, she spun and stalked off.

"Even so, thank you!" Tsubasa repeated.

She stood there, watching Hitagi until she was out of sight, then started to take a step forward… only to find her feet were stuck to the ground. She looked around wildly, but there was no-one else around that she could see. Then a man stepped out from a nearby alleyway, dressed in the robes of a priest.

"Sorry," he said. "I don't have anything against you personally. I just need you to take out the vampire."

Tsubasa blinked. Was he talking about Heart-under-Blade? Or… could he be talking about Koyomi? Either way… it didn't matter. Her conclusion would be the same in the end.

"I refuse!" she shouted. "I won't help you! I refuse to be his weakness!"

"You haven't got a choice, miss," the man said. "You're already under my control. Now, come on, let's get going."

And just like that, her body began to move without her input, stepping towards him, then turning around to head back towards the abandoned cram school.

"Nooooo!"

Tsubasa wracked her brain. This was bad. No matter how hard she tried, her body wouldn't respond to her commands. She had to do something… but what? What could she do? What was she even capable of?

Ah. Right. There was something. She had precisely one remaining ace up her sleeve. She'd wanted more time to think it over, but it looked like her time was almost up.

The only way out of this situation now was with a wish.

---

Magical Girl Corner

Whenever a new magical girl is introduced, I'll include a brief profile of her here. Some details may be redacted, or contain minor spoilers. You have been warned! The numeric ranking values are on a scale of 1 to 10.

Oshino Shinobu (Laura of Wallachia)
忍野忍

Age: 598
Eye Colour: Amber
Hair Colour: Blonde
Origins: Wallachia
Symbol: Black bat
Soul Gem: Orange torus-shaped gem on her choker
Element: Light
Weapon: Twin falchions
Powers: Blood thralls, grief endurance, light manipulation, healing, curse of sluggishness and anti-healing
Wish: "I wish to die."

Speed: 6
Magical Stamina: 10
Offensive Power: 4
Defensive Power: 3
Initial Power Usability: 6
Learned Powers: 2

Hedwig Dramaturgy

Age: 273
Eye Colour: Red
Hair Colour: Red
Origins: Ingolstadt, Bavaria, Germany
Symbol: Orange owl head
Soul Gem:
Element: Fire
Weapon: Twin serrated swords
Powers: Fire manipulation
Wish: "Let Father live out his life without hardship and without worrying for me."

Speed: 6
Magical Stamina: 8
Offensive Power: 7
Defensive Power: 5
Initial Power Usability: 6
Learned Powers: 3

Episode

Age: 12
Eye Colour: Golden
Hair Colour: Blonde
Origins: Unknown
Symbol: Green crucifix
Soul Gem: Sky blue circular gem half-exposed in her breast pocket
Element: Water
Weapon: Giant crucifix
Powers: Mist form
Wish: "Give me the power to slay vampires!"

Speed: 10
Magical Stamina: 6
Offensive Power: 7
Defensive Power: 7
Initial Power Usability: 6
Learned Powers: 2

Senjougahara Hitagi
戦場ヶ原ひたぎ

Age: 17
Eye Colour: Blue
Hair Colour: Purple
Origins: Jouetsu, Niigata Prefecture, Japan
Symbol: Green crab
Soul Gem: Green spherical gem with yellow asterism on her chest bow
Element: Darkness
Weapon: Hammer
Powers: Weight alteration, psychometry
Wish: "I want my memories back."

Speed: 4
Magical Stamina: 6
Offensive Power: 3
Defensive Power: 5
Initial Power Usability: 4
Learned Powers: 2