Disclaimer: I don't own Dawson;s creek
and i am not making any money from writing Fanfics.
This is what happened in after Joey went to Paris including her correspondence with her friends and how things built up to the finale.
Chapter 1:
The Real Thing .
It's 5 o'clock afternoon in Paris, I wonder what happened between Dawson and Pacey .I tricked them to meet .I want them to become friends again ,maybe Pacey gave Dawson the money and they reconciled or maybe things got worse .I left them both without goodbyes ,I finally went to Paris.
Things went crazy last spring ,Pacey lost everything including Dawson's money invested in that Medical stock .Dawson's dream to shoot his script was crushed and the bitter horrible confrontation ,they had together was one of the worst events in my life. Although Pacey apologized Dawson was devastated and did not accept it .I started thinking that I shouldn't have asked Pacey to shave his beard ,maybe it was a luck charm as he mentioned .After I dumped him at the Harley's party , I didn't hear from him or knew anything about him .I just saw that reporter coming out from his apartment one night after I closed the café . I didn't try to contact him ,I felt his pain during our last dance ,the sighs ,the silence and the looks .It was like a closure ,I thought he didn't want anything to do with me . Honestly I did not understand my feelings back then ,during our night in K-mart I felt horrible that he was going to sleep with that girl ,i have no explanation to that feeling .I wanted to see his face badly ,I don't know what happened to me when I finished shaving his beard and looked into his face ,as if he just came back from a very long trip and then he kissed me and of course Pacey being Pacey, poured out his heart .I was surprised ,I thought Pacey got over me and stopped loving me .He even didn't want to see me when he came back from his summer job on the Dean's boat .He dated my roommate -after having my blessing – but still what could I have done other than that .I myself ran after Dawson only few weeks after we broke up .And I had no claim over him .Anything I would have said or done would be just like what Dawson did to me and him during our Jr.& Sr. year .I wanted him to be happy .
Back to K-mart night .I jumped into his sleeping bag and kissed him .Next day I went to see him and we agreed to think about getting back together and I was happy and smitten .We went on dates and i even worked for his firm one day during which I got extremely jealous from that reporter and then we made out like crazy and after a passionate kiss in my workplace I was going to spend the night with him and I had plans to stay in his bed .Then Eddy showed up that same night and again I was confused .Though I told Eddy I moved on ,I was not happy about ending things with him WHY ? please I have no answer for Harley's dance I remembered and how my heart was broken .I saw Patrick and that other guy fighting over Harley and then I couldn't take it anymore ,I can't go through this again regardless of how much I loved Pacey .I liked Eddy too even bordering on loving him so I ran to him.
Do I love Pacey? My only answer would be Pacey's love is what a woman feels for a man ,yes he is my man in the back of my mind I am his lady .I feel safe and loved when I am with him and the scariest thing ,I know he is the one who I am supposed to be with .The father of my children and my life partner . But how can a 19 years old girl accept that .How can I trust him with my heart again .I still have dreams ,I want to pursue .Our love was based on a history of slow build up and then a dream on a boat .How can I forget those summer lazy nights on that boat or these ports or Disney land or those odd jobs or adventures or lying in his arms feeling safe. It is more than love , you can love anyone but what I felt or still feel for Pacey is something beyond love . I was crushed when we broke up .I told myself I don't want to fall for anyone like that again .And regardless how much I love pacey I will not think of him romantically .He is my friend and that's it .I buried the memories ,the feelings and Kept everything in the back of my mind and his friendship was enough for me .When he dated Audery I was not involved in the details and I didn't want to go to the point where I might lose his friendship too.
I couldn't explain how did I feel when he gave me that envelope full of money to give to Dawson
Only Pacey can do this. Only him can do this outrageous, unexpected gestures for his friend.
I was worried when I saw him on the couch, miserable and hopeless, but I knew he will get up on his feet again .He is used to life tests and loss. He is smart and resourceful and he succeeds in almost everything he puts his mind on.
He just needed to believe in himself and knows his qualities. So my story with Pacey will continue but not now.
Did I love Eddy?
Yes, enough to have sex with him but not enough to escape to Europe with him or to feel shattered after we broke up.
Do I love Dawson? Yes, he is my childhood friend, my soulmate and the dreamer brother I never hadn't.
Our romantic story ended the day we had sex ,that was the last step in our saga. The last of a series what ifs that destroyed all our romantic prospects and kept us going in circles hurting ourselves and others.
We don't work as lovers .I knew that as for Dawson I don't know how does think about us ,But we didn't talk for almost a year and it is ok .
After me and Eddy broke up, I went back home and we spoke for the first time after a long period of Radio silence. We talked about losing each other and me scared to grow up. Then he said one true thing "sometimes you should lose someone completely to know what do they really mean to you ".
That night we talked and talked and just when we were leaving his house ,we found pacey with the horrible news .The boys told each other a lot of painful stuff .I was concerned with Dawson .Dawson doesn't know life troubles and agonies apart from losing his dad .He was a dreamer with parents who can make most of his wishes come true on the other hands ,pacey was used to that kind of life situations.
It was a disastrous confrontation.
I went back to college and then summer came ,I went back home and it was like our Sr. year.
The two boys crossed with each other's and I am in between .
I decided this won't happen or continue .I will find a way for Dawson to shoot his script .And things between him and pacey must go back to normal.
I will start with Dawsons movie !