TURNABOUT DAKOOLGUY

Post-Mortem Deductions

Phoenix Wright was running across heaven from the dastardly Manfred von Karma but it was no use for he was not the only one in heaven he should fear. He turned the corner and Damon Gant was there! Gant fired a projectile weapon which fired a net into Phoenix capturing him.

"Ahhh I'm sorry for throwing you in jail!" cried Phoenix.

"Well now its time for a taste of ur own medicine" laughed Gant and he took Phoenix to Heaven Court!

"Court's in session for the afterlife trial of Phoenix Wright," said the judge.

"Hmph," said Manfred. "This trial is a waste of time, let us call the detective and be done with it!"

Manfred called the detective, which was Damon Gant.

===WITNESS TESTIMONY===

-Wright's Crime-

"Okay so basically Wrighto stole something from Manfred von Karma."

"Manfred was sleeping in his bed at the time when Phoenix broke in and stole his gun."

"HOLD IT!" shouted Phoenix. "What am I gonna do with a gun, if someone gets shot they're still in heaven so they'll just come back here."

"No son, this was a heavengun, which means their soul will be trapped in that bullet... forever."

"Oh," Phoenix sweated. "Why does Manfred have one of those again?"

Gant continued his testimony.

"Manfred saw Phoenix do it with his own eyes."

"It happened at 9PM two nights ago."

"OBJECTION!" shouted Phoenix. "It couldn't have been me who did it because I only died a few hours ago!"

"OBJECTION!" shouted Manfred von Karma. "Ha ha ha, not so fast... I present the security footage of heaven!"

The security footage showed Phoenix entering heaven on November 20.

"WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT" shouted Phoenix.

"So you see, you COULD have done it!"

"No!"

"That's enough!" said the judge. "The defendant has been caught lying and shall be brought before the lord for sentencing."

"HAAAAHAHAHAHAHA" laughed Manfred. "At last my revenge is complete!"

And he and Gant went off to celebrate while Phoenix was brought to God.

"Hello... Phoenix Wright," said God.

"God please I'm sorry I-"

"Do not speak. I do not intend to sentence you."

"Why's that?"

"Because... you were not in heaven two nights ago."

"Oh nice."

"But, as the one who monitors who enters and leaves heaven, I must also say," said God. "What IS the case is that you were here four nights ago. And now I must ask you... why are you here?"

"Huh, I was shot so-"

"Hmmm..." God examined the autopsy report of Phoenix Wright. "It is true that you were shot, however it was non-fatal. You should not have died, and yet, here you are. Furthermore... just what was it that caused you to enter heaven the first time?"

"That's weird," thought Phoenix.

"Perhaps I have a suggestion," said the guard.

"And who might you be?" said God, so the guard removed his hat that concealed his face.

"EDGEWORTH?" shouted Phoenix.

"Yes it's me," said Edgeworth, and Phoenix punched him.

"That's for proving me guilty in court!" shouted Phoenix.

"What I've been here the whole time!" shouted Edgeworth. "Anyway I've been researching spirit channeling and it turns out that spirits come to heaven while their host is channeling someone else."

"So I'm possessed by a ghost?" shouted Phoenix.

"That's the most likely solution," suggested Edgeworth.

"Wait a minute..." thought Phoenix. "If I was possessed by a ghost four nights ago... that was when I lost my memory!"

"So?"

"SO!" Phoenix pointed at Edgeworth, ready to turn the first case of his memory loss around at last "the real reason I lost my memories... is because I didn't have memories to begin with! I BECAME SOMEONE ELSE!"

"WHAAAAAAAAAAT?" shouted Edgeworth.

"IN OTHER WORDS!" announced Phoenix. "The true culprit is not me... but whoever possessed me!"

"NOOOOOOOOOOOO!" shouted Edgeworth "OBJECTION, YOU CAN'T PROVE WHO IT WAS!"

"Yes I can!" said Phoenix. "The person who can tell us who the culprit must be... is God! God, which spirit left heaven at the same time I came in the first time?"

"No one." said God.

"Wait what?"

"It's quite unusual... but no spirit in heaven possessed you (there's no hell btw)."

"HA! I WIN PHOENIX!" said Edgeworth. "...wait, I wasn't the prosecutor in that trial."

God pondered what to do.

"Okay, Phoenix. I'm going to do something I've never done before, because this must be solved... I am sending you back to earth."

"Yay-" said Phoenix but then, before God could do anything, Phoenix faded out of reality!

God removed his glasses and wiped his sweating forehead. "This is too much for me..."

BACK ON EARTH...

"I'M READY, let's investigate!" said Phoenix ready to spring into the investigation but he couldn't move his arms because he was tied up and standing next to Maya in a holy church!

"You're not going anywhere Fucknix," cackled Maya.

"Now then," said the priest. "Let us begin the holy matrimony ceremony of Phoenix Wright and Maya Fey!"

TO BE CONTINUED