APOLLO JUSTICE TURNABOUT FOREVER
A NEVERENDING PHOENIX WRIGHT ADVENTURE WHERE THE MYSTERY WILL BE SOLVED AT THE END!
BY BARRYLAWN
i think the idea behind this fic was to make fun of turnabout everlasting? i was so ahead of my time.
one day in the wright anything agency apollo justice was in bed pondering his life because wright just told him that trucy was his sister and thats great and all but it actually crushed his dreams (ya see, incest is a thing, and its not allowed, so yeah) so now he had to decide between dat happy new girl athena who bugged him or that annoying coughing girl who obviously wanted in his pants because she went redasatomato every time she saw him
just then the door flew off its hinges and hit apollo in the face.
"OUCH" shouted apollo rocking the agency with his cords of steel
"polly polly get outta bed" shouted trucy
"trucy your not allowed to call me that anymore" said apollo "its incest"
"yea watever but polly athena was arrested!"
"ok"
"AND SO WAS JUNIPER!"
"who?"
"the coughing girl"
"oh WHAAAAAAAT?" shouted apollo
this was a tough tough TOUUUUUGH deciston for apollo should he save the ugly girl with personality or the sexy girl with no personality? (i dunno wich is wich but watever.)
any way apollo went to the detention center to sort shit out with these ladies. first he spoke to juniper"
"hi junie" said apollo
"cough" said june "cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough"
"ok" said apollo "ill talk to you later"
"wait cough cough cough cough cough" said junie and she breated into sunflower
"wat"
"dont listen...cough cough cough cough cough... to hitler cy-cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough COOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOUGH" she passed out
"weird" said apollo as she was rushed to hospital "wait this means her trial will be delayed YES I CAN THINK LONGER AND HARDER!"
"aboot wat" said athena angry and suspicious
"AAAAAH NOTHING" shouted apollo "TO BE CONTINUED"
"NOT YET" shouted athena "we're only 400 words in and most of those are juniper coughing like a fucking hag!"
"ok ok just stoping ripping off of jakkid"
"who da fuck is jakkid?!" she slamed her fist into the detention glass and it shattered "oh lol" she skipped out and the guard was like not there because he as bringing juniper to hospital
the next day there was a trial there was no defendant to prove guilty
"YES" shouted apollo "I WON!"
"ill get you for this apollo!" shouted payne and he threw all of his hair at apollo so he went completely bald
"lmao didnt think that through did ya" said apollo
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO" screamed payne and he ran to escape from the cameras trying to capture his shiny head
"this court finds the defendant NOT GUILTY" said udgey
"yeeeaaaah" said apollo feeling good about himself
and never did the truth of that case surface... will it ever come to light?
FIND OUT IN THE LAST CHAPTER!
APOLLO JUSTICE ACE ATTORNEY
TURNABOUT FOREVAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHR!
apollo rested for the first time since the trial began and he dreamed about juniper inside his pants
but he cudnt be having dreams like that because athena was there
wait did he want athena?
or juniper?
or either of dem?
damn. life is tough when your a apollo justice
trucy walked in with something in her hands and he thought sexual thoughts but that would be incest tanks to phenix wright
she shoved the paper into apollos face but he caught it
"for fucks sake trucy youve shoved a door up my face dont shove this too"
"hey it could be worse" said trucy "it cudve been up your ass and then id go to jail except youd have to defend me"
apollo read the newspaper that was what trucy pushed
"JUNIE TO BE DECLARED GUILTY IN HOSPITAL" shouted the headline
"WHAAAAAT" shouted apollo and he read on
"since we get to change khurains court systems we are going to let them change ours to khurain so junie will be put on khurain trial in hospital so noone will be allowed to defend her that includes you apollo. sss sss sss sss!"
"wow dis is bullshit" shouted apollo
he ran to khurain to enlist the help of rayfa padma khurain and albe urguide
"ok lets do this!"
they ran back to los angeles and athena was waiting with angry widget
"APOLLLLOOOOOOO" she screamed "WHEREVE YOU BEEN"
"AAAAGH WHAT" shouted apollo and athena stepped on his foot
"JUNIPERS TRIALS STARTED YOU SHUOLDVE GOT A PLANE YOU DUMDUM!"
"WOWWWWWWWWWWWW FUCK" shouted apollo
apollo rayfa and ahlbi burst into the court doors
"OBJECTION" shouted apollo and he and albi ran to the defense bench "this isnt wright! junie ill defend you!"
"aaaaah poll- cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough" juniper cough cough cough cough coughed
"someone get this bitch to hospital" said albi
"but we are in hospital" said apollo
"o"
the sound of gavel pierced the courtroom
"bailiff" shouted khurain judge "throw these two out!"
"THATS ENOUGH" shouted rayfa
"whats enough" said judge
"SHITTING ON MY BAE" shouted rayfa
"o sorry apollo u can stay" said kudgey
"no not h- i mean never mind he can stay" said rayfa and she got red
"ha it has been a while apollo justice" said nahyhuhthah sahdmhahdhih "how upsetting. even as we try to revolutionise your courts you want to disrupt the victims wishes. may your FILTY soul be cast to hell"
apollo slam his desk which was a cardboard box because this was a hospital not a court
"were nt giving up that easy well show you truth behind this case" he badassed because unlike dd!wright hes not a pussy
a butterfly landed on nahyutas hand dats how calm he was
"well see what truth comes out then" said neyuta
"ok mr nahuta make your opened statement" said kudgey
"ok" said nayuta and the logic and trick theme of aa6 played
"th- EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW GET THAT XYLOPHONE CRAP OUTTA HERE!" he threw his scroll and the little kid at the xlophone and he went crying to mommy. "now then" said nahyuta and he took out a scroll and laid it across the desk and the opening statement theme of aa6 played wich is 100000000 times better dan logic listen to it until nahyuta finishes opening statement
"ms juniper coughs- i mean woods killed robin newoman with a statue"
he rolled back the scroll and called his witness to the stand
"im ema skye" ema smiled and apollo felt melty but he couldnt let juniper or athena notice so he hardened
"hey ahlbi you got the evidence that contradicts her testimony" asked apolo
"yeah its on the des- WHAT WHERED IT GO" shouted ahlbi looking for the autopsy report
"dont worry well get you anothe copy" said kudgey
"actually that was the only copy" said ema
"WHAT" shouted apollo
"yeah"
"OBJECTION" shouted apollo "THIS IS FUCKING BULLSHIT YOU HAVE NO EVIDENCE NOW!"
"ha ha no" said nahyuta "we still have audio recorded from juniper and robin meeting
"wat" said apollo and nahyuta presented a tape recorder "a little lady happened to have a bunch of these all over themis academy lets listen to it"
beep
robins voice appeared out of nowhere
"oh hey m-"
"cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough"
"AAAAAAAAGH" screamed robin and the sound of a body falling was heard
nayuta pulled off his beads and slamed them on the desk "AS YOU CAN HEAR THE DEFENDANT COUGHED THE VICTIM TO DEATH!"
"NOOOOOOO" shouted apollo
"hey btw apollo the evidence you need starts with a and rymes with topsy
"GASP"
apollo and ilbe scrambled across the desk box
"WHERE IS THAT DAMN AUTOPSY?!" shouted ahlbi
"hey apollo" said rayfa "i just checked the autopsy reports last moments in water mirror
"let me see" shouted apollo
rayfa presented the water mirror it was time to see the reports last moments before theft
there was light and apollo was seen shouted
shouting could be heard
and then the autopsy heard a strange sound from below and it vanished!
and then it heard hissing sound like "sss sss sss"
"OBJECTION" shouted apollo "THAT CAN ONLY BE ONE PERSON"
"WHO" shouted nahyuta
and then apollo stood at his desk and LIFTED IT FROM THE GROUND
AND UNDER THE BOX WAS-
"wow apollo dat wouldve been SO impressive if it wasnt made of cardboard" said rayfa
-MYRIAM SCUTTLEBUTT
"AAAAAGH NO" SHOUTED MYRAIM "I DIDNT STEAL IT"
"nice try but thats the only copy"
"NOOOO" shouted myriam
apollo read the report
"the victim was murdered by juniper woods coughing confirmed by dna"
"there see" said nahyuta "definitely her"
"NO" shouted apollo "UPDATE THE AUTOPSY REPORT"
"ha ha stupid" said nahyuta and he took the updated autopsy report
"now then: "the victim was murdered by myriam scuttlebutt coughing confirmed by dna... wait WHAT?!"
"SSSSSSSS SSSSSSSSSSSSS SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS" myriam threw the cardboard defense bench up to sky and everyone saw her face again
rip
"ok NOT GUILTY" said kudgey
"yay thanks polly" said junie without coughing
"(holy shit thank fuck she stopped that coughshit!)" thought apollo
"btw apolo" said juniper going redder than tomato "i heard gatewater land is opening soon"
"ok" said apollo takin her arm "lets hope nothing death happens"
TO BE CONTINUED
apollo justice spinaround forever
chapter 3
gatewater land
apollo and juniper were on a boat together
and so was A CLOUD OF SMOKE! and when the smoke gone TRUCY was there
"HIIIII POLLYYYYY"
"AAAAAAAAGH" screamed apollo and he fell out of the boat
"eeeeeekkk-cough cough" coughed juniper (she coughed a lot more but im not typing it all out it would take up de entire page tho ill tell ya that!)
apollo tried to swim up but then he noticed A FALLEN BODDYYYYYYYY!"
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAH" screamed apollo and water got in his lungs so he swam up "DANGER DANGER!"
the police came and took the body for cross examination
"ok" said ema "i think trucy did it"
"WHAT" shouted trucy but she was arrested
"NOOOO" shouted apollo "whens the trial"
"tomorrow!" said ema
"o ok"
he and juniper went on a bunch of rides and went to haunted house
it was creepy
you all know what that means!
"COUGH COUGH COUGH COUGH COUGH COUGH COUGH COUGH COUGH COUGH COUGH"
"dont be scared" said apollo
"im not its just so dusty in h-"
A GHOST JUMPED OUT FROM BEHIND THE PAINTING
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH! COUGH COUGH COUGH COUGH COUGH COUGH COU-"
"UUUUUGH stop coughing! half de story is nothing but "cough"! shouted apollo
"o k i sorry" said juniper and he put the sunflower over her nose so she wouldnt cough
"wait a minute" said apollo
he went to examine the ghost and he grabbed his bracelet to zoom in on it
he looked at the small red dot on the wavy thing on the ghosts butt and yelled "GOTCHA!"
"OMFG THERES BLOOD ON HIS ASS!" shouted apollo and then he got KNOCKED OUT
he woke up in the hall and the dot was GONE!
"NOOOOOOOOOOOO MY EVIDANK!" shouted apollo
THE NEXT DAY
"court is in session" said udgey
"oh thank fuck were back to normal" said apollo
"no were not" said a voice and rayfa was at witness stand
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO" shouted apollo
"dont worry apollo well find issue with water mirror" said ahlbi
and then a voice appeared from above and juniper was looking down at apollo
"why cant i stand at defense bench with you"
"i only accept underage peple to assist me" said apollo
"THATS ENOUGH being a creep apollo now LET US BEGIN CHANNELTHING!"
rayfa danced around the court and the water mirror lit up
they saw someone being drowned by a ghost
"OBJECTION" shouted apollo "TRUCY ISNT DEAD YET!"
the prosecutor took out a gun and shot trucy dead
"OH LOOK SHE IS NOW"
"FUCK" shouted apollo "wait OBJECTION"
"now what"
"LOOK! THERES NO BLOOD ON TRUCYGHOST!"
"so"
apollo pointed at the vision
"AS YOU CAN SEE THERE IS A DOT OF BLOOD ON THE GHOST
"THATS ENOUGH" shouted rayfa "stupid. blood cant be on ghost"
"then why is there blood on ghost" apollo pointed at her "obviously because it ISNT A GHOST!"
"BUT IT IS" shouted rayfa "its white and has weird face"
"hmmmm" apollo thought "wait... WAIT A MINUTE THATS NOT A REAL GHOST!"
"then what is it"
"it must be THIS"
apollo presented the ghost that scared the shit out of juniper "AS YOU CAN SEE THERE IS LUMINOL REACTION AT THE ASS!"
"but how can you prove its victims blood"
"though the power of SCIENCE!" apollo pointed at ema and she confirmed it was victims blood "which means that the kille must have been the WITNESS!"
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO" screamed the proto badger and he fainted and the guards arrested him
"well done mr justice" said udgey "i claim trucy to be innocent"
LATER
"thank you polly" said trucy
"ffs its apollo you cant show affection to me any more"
trucy took out the evidence that proved lamiror was their mother and made it vanish
"ok fine"
meanwhile
the document appeared and floated down
AND THEN THE ROOM WENT RED!
WHIIIIIRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!
apollo justice turnabout four
chapter forever
by barylawn
RED ALERT RED ALERT SECURE THE SACRED URNS SAFETY
"ITS TOO LATE PAL" shouted gumshoe "the urn is GONE"
"AHAHAHAHHAHA" laughed mask de mask "ill be taking dis now genteelmen!"
and then maskdemasqe flew away from crime scene and disappeared
"ok pal we all know who dat was" said gumshoe
they got in car and drove down to delite estate and arrested ron delite
"PLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEASE LIIIIIIIIIIISTEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEN!" he cried
AT THE ANGELCY
apollo woke up from terrifying dream where he was being molested by his dead sister
"POLLY" shouted trucyghost
"AAAAAAAAGH" shouted apollo "DONT MOLEST ME!"
"no look at my new trick"
suddenly she vanished
"trucy whered you go" said apollo and she appeared behind him
"BOO" shouted ghostcy
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH" apollo screamed and the windows broke "god dammit ghostrucy the windows ded"
"well its not my fault you have cords of steel"
however now that the window was broken apollo cud here faint noise
"i repeat masque the mask has been arrested at last" said ema over a microphone so everyone could hear
"WHAT" shouted apollo and he threw a finger at ema "MASK MASQUE IS MY HERO HE INSPIRE ME TO BECOME A LAWYER I WILL PROVE HIS NOT GUILTYNESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!"
apollo ran down to detention center
"hi ron" said apollo "can you sign my bracelet"
ron signed the bracelet and gave it back
"now" he said "PLEEEEEEEEEEEEASE LISTEN TO MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"
"i am i know your not guilty"
"BUT I AMMMMMMMMMMMMM"
"FUC"
apollo pondered what to do
"fuck it im a lawyer im supposed to defend people like this"
so he went to court and athena was there
"hey apollo" she shouted getting close to him awkwardly "did u hear the news this case is all about emotions!" she got closer "so i gotta help u hear the emotions"
"oh uh ok just please dont be so close im with juni-"
THE GAVEL THUNDERED DOWN
"POOOOOOOOOOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY" judge juniper raged at apollo who was flirting with athena
"AAAAAAGH NO ITS NOT WHAT IT-"
"I DONT CARE" shouted juniper "PENALTY"
BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAM
apollo got a 50% penalty
"NOOOO" shouted apollo
"ha apollo you fucking whore" nahyuta laughed at him
"fuck you nahyuta youve got nah in your name" shouted apollo
"ha" said nahyuta smiling
"HOLD!"
"FUCKING!"
"IT" athena pointed at nahyuta accusingly "junie polly just insulte-"
"DONT CALL HIM POLLY" shouted juniper and apollo got another penalty
"NGGGHOOOO" shouted apollo
"uh anyway apollo just insulted nahyuta but look at the mood matrix"
athena turn on matrix and it was full of green
"NAHYUTA IS HAPPY"
"but why" said the witness
"because hes happy that HE KILLED THE VICTIM!"
the court stared at athena
"stupid" said juniper giving her the unlimited penalty "have a penalty you whore now go suck apollos dick at home"
"dammit athena you made us lose!"
"hey sorry but we can always try again"
"NO WE CANT RON IS GUILTY NOW"
"OHHHH SHIIIT"
but it was too late ron was taken away to prison
"WELL SAVE YOU RON" shoute apollo
to be continued
TURNADANK FOREVER
CHAPTER 5
apollo got home from the mess of trial
"dammit we gotta save ron"
"yea" said athena
however before they left there was knock on the door
it was juniper and she was angry
"tena can i speek with u"
"sure"
athena left with juniper
"uhhhh ok" said apollo
he decided to go investigate on his own
he went into the bank which is where the sacred urn was before theft
there was smashed glass in a case and gumshoe was next to it
"hey pal" said gumshoe
gumshoe gave apollo maskthemasks calling card
"yea so we found this in the case thats why we broke it open"
apollo read the card
"ha ha ha im taking the urn now genteelmen!
-ron"
"damn" said apollo
he thought it was all over when he noticed the writing
"wait" said apolo and he compared the handwriting "GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASP"
_THE NEXT DAY_
"court is in session again because apollo wanted another trial" said juniper
"yea see i dont think we covered everything in the last trial i have found new evidence"
"and what is this evidence" said nahyuta
"it is THIS" apollo presented the calling card
"uh" said athena "we already know about that apollo"
apollo shook his head
"not." and he pointed "BECAUSE YOU, ATHENA CYKES, WROTE THIS CARD!"
"AAAAAAAAAAAAH" screamed athena "DAMMIT!"
"ALSO" shouted apollo "JUNIPERS FINGERPRINTS WERE FOUND ON YESTERDAYS GUILTY VERDICT!"
"so" said juniper
"so you declared ron guilty even tho it wasnt him and the real culprit was your friend athena which means YOUR THE ACCOMPLICE!"
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-COUGH COUGH COUGHOUGHCOUGH" coughed juniper "FINE! I DECLARE MYSELF AND THENA GUILTY GUILTY GUILTY GUILTY GUILTY GUILTYYYYYYYYYYY" she spam the gavel like vex vupper
_AFTER THE TRIAL_
"thank u mr justice" said ron "but arent u sad that ur friends are going to prison?"
"yea" said apollo "theyr probably so sad and depressed right now"
meanwhile athena and juniper wer having sex in prison becaus they wer homosex and only pretend to liek apolo so he wouldnt hunt them
because they wer witches too
TO BE CONTINUED!
(beep)
"hello miss" siad the guy on the phone
"kek my scapegoat plan worked" she said "ill have the urn for you shortly"
(beep)
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
A/N 1/7/2017: yknow technically the fics summary isnt WRONG...