Summary : In that space between grieving and healing, a butterfly tenderly rests. (Sasuke)

(Fanofthisfiction's Show Me the Love of Valentine's Day Challenge 2023)

A/N : I do not own Naruto.

Verses on a Butterfly

Post fourth shinobi war, my journey of self-absolution led me to the edge of Country of Rice. 2000 feet above the choppy northern ocean, the rocky cliffs of Kuro, stretches over one kilometer. It is known for its stunningly beautiful coastline and hexagonal-pillar shaped rocks. At the centre of the coastline was a winged-shaped inlet and the gradual height of the rocks that made it seem as if a butterfly had taken flight.

By any means, I was no tourist. I was just a passerby, who happened to pause at the sight of the small flame igniting the dusky blue sky. Because it was at this moment, everyday, that I felt that the world was less cold.

"Be careful," a soft voice warned, amidst the sound of rolling waves. "You're too close to the edge. It's best to keep a distance." A petite woman, of similar age, appeared beside me. She was a local, based on her dressing of cream linen and straw sandals. "We call this place- "

"Butterfly point," I replied, monotonously. It was strange that she would be out here at the break of dawn. The nearest village was at least a two hours hike away.

"So you've heard." She gave me a tired smile. "It's also known as suicide point."

At that I inched forward, enough to peek over the edge to glimpse the jagged rocks below amidst crashing waves, which would make for instant death should a person choose to jump off.

"Regardless, I like it here," she stated, eyes a watery morning light. "The sound of the ocean soothes me."

I nodded politely as the final rays of light weather the remaining darkness. The tangerine glow on my skin was warm even so that warmth never reached within.

I envied the sky and its dance with the light. How no one sunrise is the same, sometimes in muted colours and other times in vibrant spills. If I had missed the sunrise of the day, it was akin to letting the world slip through unnoticed.

"Although it was brief, but I thank you for your company." The petite villager turned to regard me. "It has been a while since someone had shared the sunrise with me."

"Likewise." I gave a slight nod and turned back in direction to the nearest coastal town.

It wasn't even 20 steps in when salt wind from the ocean swept across the inlet. Amongst the winds at play, a butterfly fluttered in view, flitting around my being before settling on my only thumb. Then, it left as soon as the wings grazed my skin in direction of the villager at the cliff. I turned to find her gaze cast downwards and feet inching closely to the edge.

I realised what she was doing. "No," I called out, desperate.

"Oh how I wish to fly, oh blue butterfly," her voice wavered. "Take me to another sky."

With arms spread, face inclined upwards, she leapt. Her will, the wind's will.

A split second and my body moved, reaching towards her. My will, the butterfly's will for chrysalis.

Then, comes silence, sweeping across the landing of where we had once been before.

I was barely hanging on.

I was suspended in waters far beneath the surface, in an isolated cold world. My dark cloak and right sleeve floated about me in the murky waters. However, strangely enough my eyes were not stung from the salt water.

Reddish-brown leafy shoots, had fixed on my ankles, chaining me to the seabed. I tried to tug free, to rip the submerged aquatic plant from its roots but to no avail.

Dread seeps into my dazed, foggy consciousness. As I float, I wonder if this was it. If so then I am reassured that my absence will not go unnoticed. My former team 7 will search for me. For this I prayed, that my body would at least be washed ashore and news of my death reach them.

As the last bubble of air escaped my lips and my chest constricts in agony, something stirred above, breaking the surface. A short burst of brilliance that dived towards me, reaching and then pulling.

I was saved by a rather short hulking man with great strength. The man was dressed in a dry grey hakama which fit snugly. Similarly his face was of grey complexion, a flat nose, thick eyebrows and deep-rooted lines which etched a story of hardship. On his head were two broken horns.

He had placed me on my sides, rubbing my back as I heaved and spewed out my darkest thoughts and salt water. Then, the masked man fed what seemed like dried twigs and leaves to the small fire whilst I rested until my breathing returned to normalcy.

"Thank you," I said, once my strength returned.

"You're not supposed to be here." He had a low, scratchy voice.

Unable to comprehend his words. "I wouldn't if you hadn't saved me."

Onyx eyes assessed me. "This is the in-between. Only reachable through death. But you are not dead."

I took in my surroundings. It was a starless night and I wasn't able to see anything further than the circular radius of the campfire. However, it was clear that this was not Kuro Coast. The vast water was unnervingly still and there were no towering cliffs, from what I can make out. "Where am I?" I skimmed my body with my left hand, noting that my clothes were neither damp or wet, which was strange in itself.

"The in-between," the man repeated. "I saw two souls beneath the waters. But only one ascended."

I pieced his words together. "I didn't reach her in time."

The fire crackled as more dried wood was fed. "It is her time as all things has an end." I assessed the man before me and came to a conclusion that he was a type of yokai, which made me being in the in-between feasible. "You're handling this better than I thought," the yokai stated.

"Is this hell?" I imagined hell to be what the believers delivered where hellfire would lap away at mybody relentlessly and I would choke on the dry, hot air. I thought after all the torment I had given and sins of my past, I would be a permanent resident.

The yokai chuckled. "It is not. This is simply a bridge to the afterlife where the dead may choose to linger due to unfinished business." He snapped his fingers and the embers lifted in the air, molding into golden birds of various kinds–robins, cranes, crows, hummingbirds and falcons to name a few. "You are still amongst the living. Had I not retrieved you from the waters, you would have become a spirit and your soul will not be able to go to the hereafter."

I furrowed my brows. "But I jumped." The birds, beating their wings, and circled the campsite in a wide, slow, spiral upward movement.

The yokai nodded. "You are hurt but you will live. It is not yet your time," he declared, pointing towards the dim glow in between my eyes. "I will take you to the crossways."

"The crossways?" I touched the area that was pointed at. It was lukewarm to the touch.

"This world is dangerous for a living being, deceptive even. If you do not make it to the crossways in 4 days…" his voice trailed off, a faraway look in his eyes.

"I die." The birds dissipated into the air at my words.

The yokai shook his head, his voice timid and afraid. "You will cease to exist Uchiha Sasuke and your prayers to reunite with your loved ones in the afterlife will never be."

I awoke to the sight of broken things.

Uprooted trees from years of disease or relentless storms. Hills of broken earthly possessions such as vases, tea cups, lampshades, mirrors and furniture. Broken animals too – a dove with a broken wing, a blind horse and a dog with no back legs, to name a few.

In the middle of it, was the campsite. At first I thought that Oni, the yokai, whose name that I learnt last night, had used brambles and dried wood to build the fire. Instead, Oni had mostly used newspapers and torn pages from books.

A few meters away was what I can only describe as a lake, which was what I was pulled out from. It was crystal clear and my reflection was lifelike akin to one of Naruto's shadow clone. It was here that I finally saw the faint glow between my eyes.

"We call this place the lost and found," the yokai explained, kicking dirt onto the fire until the last of its flames died down. "Broken things find its way here. Broken trust and broken promises too. When that happens-" he trailed off, joining me by the waters.

A cat with no lower jaw leaned into my right leg, rubbing its head against it.

Oni pointed towards a figure not far from where they are. She had made a small tent using pieces of torn clothing. Although human, her flesh was made of skin-coloured clay and was excessively dry. The tip of her nose had chipped away as with her left earlobe and an indent to where her left cheek once was. "She will gradually erode until she is no more," Oni explained. "However, she will be able to cross over once the promise is fulfilled or there is forgiveness…" He trailed off.

Sound of shrieks reached their ears. High-pitched, penetrating and infinitely appalling. "And that?" I asked, tilting my head towards a translucent being across the lake. It was around 7 feet tall, with scanty white hair.

"Humans who had once lived but did not die an earthly death. What you would become if you do not go back," Oni explained, firmly. "It is time to go."

My world tend to crumple as easily as a piece of paper which was why I had dealt with people on an arms-length basis. However, I was not sure why I had trusted this yokai. In my lifetime, I had lost faith in a lot of people as I was betrayed in the past. I was deceived by the hokage whom hid the real reason of the Uchiha massacre. Betrayed by my brother who drove Sasuke to be stronger only to kill him as an act of redemption.

It was tiring, to constantly be on my toes, trying to figure out what the other party was hiding, to always sleep with one eye open. It would drive me to the brink of insanity again which is a place where I no longer want to visit. And so, I trust, because, although, I yearn to see my family again, I do not mind being turned to nothingness.

"This field serves as a border for the lost and found," Oni said, breaking me away from my thoughts.

We had reached a field fully bloomed baby-blue nemophilias and yellow canola flowers. We pushed through the thick growths. As delicate as the flowers are, their stems were stiff as rocks and petals shard-like glass. It cutting into my thighs as I moved along.

Halfway through, I realised that I was alone. I turned back and saw the yokai's forlorn figure frozen, his shoulders sloped in defeat and his eyes was wet.

"Oni," I asked, unsure.

"We need to keep moving," Oni said, a hand on my back and pushing me forward. His voice in the usual tonelessness. "Don't stop."

"Hn."

In truth, the yokai, whom had been walking behind Sasuke, had noticed the trail of flowers, once upright, wilt, one by one. At first Oni thought that Sasuke had appeared at the lost and found because of his missing limb. But in actual fact, it was because he had a broken heart.

"Sasuke," Oni started. We were almost to the end of the fields. "I believe the lady at the lost and found will be ok."

I raised an eyebrow, not understanding why the yokai would bring her up again.

"The fall is hard for everyone, on… on her – how it cracks and shatters and scatters parts of herself. Her heart especially. What I know is, she will heal, slowly and, somewhat, awkwardly. The pieces will never fit the same. But she will discover that what she becomes in the end is a better version than the last."

I held his grave gaze.

"I just wanted to explain how people may leave this place and crossover," he said, hurriedly, before making his way past me.

This was the most beautiful place that I had ever laid eyes on. If the yokai had told me that this was heaven. I would have easily believed him. We were in a vast cave, filled with crystal stalagmites and stalactites. It was also magnificently illuminated by thousands of green bioluminescent glow-caterpillars, some hanging from silk threads, others nested on the ceiling and walls.

"Mesmerizing isn't it but do not touch anything outside this boat," The yokai cautioned. "Now, hands away from the waters."

I placed my hand on my lap at his warning, whilst Oni steered the small boat with a wooden oar through the winding cave canal until we reached a bend where there was a rush of waters.

"Do you see that tree?" Oni pointed towards a crooked tree with leafless branches on a tiny rock island. "It's called the tree of life."

"But it has no leaves."

"The strongest trees are often rooted in the darkest places. The fact that the tree endures, shows how much it had overcome. A testament to why it deserves to live," Oni said. "Now, the currents will take us to the end of the cave." The yokai placed the oars inside the boat and curled up against the stern. "We should sleep. It would take us a while to get to our destination."

I reclined against the bow of the boat, trying to get some shut-eye but I was restless. Taking in the landscape, I was reminded of my days as a Konoha genin. During missions, Team 7 would often camp out in the open and I would often stargaze. The glowing green specks in the cave was akin to stars. But not all that was shining was the same. Some may be dimmer, others brighter, even in the same horizon. Much like the world, where there were those who were born to form constellations whilst, others like me, a fallen star.

When the boat rocked to a stop, the yokai woke up with a jolt. It was at this time he noticed an army of glow caterpillars towards the boat's bow, with no Sasuke in sight. The yokai peered into the waters and then called out Sasuke's name, it echoing along the cave walls with no answer.

Then, a soft snore was heard at the boat's bow. He dug through the caterpillars, pushing them to the side, until he found Sasuke sound asleep as a 7 year old child.

"Oh, Sasuke…" Oni whispered, holding the boy's hand against his cheek.

Gai Sensei once said that the sensation of running, should be one of freedom and not fear. That no one should be running away from their demons but, rather, chase after them. For me that deemed to be true, which was why I ran away from Konoha to Orochimaru and then, in search of Itachi.

From spring to winter, grass to sand, lowlands to highlands, I had never once stopped because I have yet to taste my liberty. Even so, in the in-between, I was still running. This time away from a huge tornado which seemed to be gaining distance towards us.

"Pick up the pace," the yokai yelled back, breathless. We were now at the plains, a vast brown landscape that was filled with sand dunes and dead trees. "We can't get caught in that." Across the plains, a gigantic column of violently twisting air, chased after us. Dust and sand whipped up around us, stinging our eyes and blocking our sights.

I gritted my teeth and ran as fast as my short legs could carry. Earlier Oni had explained that the cave was a rite of passage to the dead. The tree of life, through the caterpillars, would latch itself on the dead and allow them to be the true version of themselves before crossing over. Oni explained that he did not expect that the caterpillars would affect me as well since I was still of the living.

"Go right," Oni ordered, sidestepping a bramble and jumping over an uprooted tree.

I followed closely but a sudden misstep and I tripped over my adult-sized pants. I tumbled down the decline albeit roughly, until a tree trunk, stopped my descent. Disoriented from the fall, the roaring sound of destruction overwhelmed my senses, which means I was right in the tornado's path. Desperately, I tried to crawl my way up the sand dunes away from its path but I was too late. Strong winds knocked me over and the tornado pulled me into its grasp.

It was eerily silent in the tornado and odd. As I spun in the chaos, I collided into flying debris and objects that were caught in the rotating wind. Dull weapons, books, ornaments, loose clothing, food and furniture. All of it, strangely familiar, yet I was unable to place them.

What I did not expect was to see the yokai as well. With his determined gaze fixed on me. He used the flying objects as a stepping stone to get closer to me. From a broken door to an old-stained sofa to an uprooted tree, he moved closer to me until he was but a leap away.

"Sasuke!" He yelled, stretching his arm out towards me. "Grab my hand."

I tried. Using as much strength and length as a 7 year old could display but unable to close that final gap.

Then, the yokai, used a passing wardrobe as a jumping-point and pushed towards me. Our fingertips barely touched. With one final stretch, the yokai managed to get a hold of my wrist and pulled me into an embrace.

"Forgive me," Oni mouthed with remorseful eyes. "It's the only way to free ourselves." With an arm around my waist, he reached towards the nearest object, a rusted kunai.

Then, I felt the rush of lost memories course through.

When I came to my senses, I was a lone figure beneath an oak tree. Keeling over, hand over my knee, I coughed violently. My lungs burned as it felt like sand had been poured into my airways. After a few moments, the pain subsided and I took a few deep breathes, before realising that the yokai was nowhere in sight.

Looking this way and that way in search of him. I took in my surroundings. From the thick trunks, sturdy branches and canopy-like leaves, I instantly recognised that this was the former Uchiha training grounds. Abandoned for years, the training grounds looked well-maintained. Nevertheless, it was the one place that I never wanted to return to, not since the Uchiha massacre.

"You promised, Aniki." A young voice grabbed my attention. "You promised to watch me train."

I stood frozen at the scene before me. Reliving the memories was agony.

"It'll have to wait till later, Sasuke." A 12 year old Itachi said, his voice dull and remorseful. "Another time." Itachi gazed shifted towards the nearest wooden targets nailed to various trees at different heights. "Practice on those three. We will work on it tomorrow."

I turned to myself. "But you promised," the young Sasuke sulked, turning his round cheeks away from his older brother.

Itachi's lips lifted slightly at his brother's small act of defiance. The older brother took a few steps forward which seemed to perk up the younger Uchiha. "Sorry, Sasuke. Some other time." Itachi gave a light finger flick to the Sasuke's forehead.

The younger Sasuke pulled away from disappointment, kicking loose leaves into the air. A few moments later, Itachi let out a soft sigh, before turning his heel away from training grounds.

It had slipped through my gaze when I was younger but, now, I noticed the weighted shoulders and heavy gaze that my brother wore as he walked away. From memory, that was the last time we had spent brotherly time together, although briefly. Perhaps Itachi always knew then that life would take us on different paths and that he could never fulfil his promise.

A breeze swept the area, shaking the leaves away from its branches. The leaves curved around me, multiplying, filling up empty spaces, obscuring my view of Itachi until he was no more.

I was awoken to the warmth of the early sun, rushing waters and birdsong.

"It's rare for your brother not to tag along."

Droplets of water splashed on my face. I sat upright, wiping my face down with an oversized sleeve.

"Aa… He has the flu." I turned to see my brother topless, taking a dip in the cool stream. Opposite him was Shisui, his best friend, standing atop a smooth bolder.

"That won't stop him from following," Shisui chuckled.

A slight crease in Itachi's eyebrows proved Shisui correct. "Mother forbade him."

"Right." Shisui performed cross body stretches before performing a cannonball into the waist-deep stream.

"Tsk." Itachi scowled. His, once dry hair, now dripping wet.

Shisui emerged from the waters. "You're hard on him," Shisui stated, tearing off his drenched shirt and laying it flat on the boulder to dry.

"He'd understand."

"All he knows is that you're pushing him away. Yet he wants to be acknowledged by you."

Itachi's eyes softened at the mention of Sasuke. "He is my brother," Itachi stated, matter-of-factly. "What is there to acknowledge."

A raise of an eyebrow. "Your father may not see it that way. I overheard him compare Sasuke's progress to yours with the elders."

Itachi scowled openly. "Sasuke is talented. He will get there on his own time."

"But not quick enough," Shisui argued. "One day, he will resent you."

"Maybe so," Itachi said quietly, his expression grim. "But there is still time before he has to pick up a kunai. I wish to shield him for just a little while longer."

"I blamed you. Aniki," I articulated, trudging into the stream towards him. "I'm sorry." Unknowingly, my brother had always put me first, shielding me away from vulnerabilities, yet exposed himself to the path of destruction.

"Aniki," I raised my voice. "I'm sorry." It was strange but the clear waters, turned into thick jelly-like substances. Creeping up my legs, moving past my waist, holding my arm firmly against my sides. "No, please," I called out desperately. "Aniki!" The slime-like substance covered my mouth, then eyes, before dragging me into the waters.

Itachi never once looked my way.

The key to how we exist is held in a single decision.

Which was why I stood before Itachi with arms wide open. Preventing that one decision that changed our lives forever. "Stop, Aniki," I pleaded, desperately.

Behind me was my parents, kneeling, with their head held high as their prides as Uchiha compels them to face death straight on.

"So, you've aligned with the other side," my father spoke. There was no accusation or desperation in his tone. He merely stated a fact.

"The coup would lead to another world war," Itachi explained. He unsheathed his katana, the moon's light bouncing of the sharp edges. "I hoped for a peaceful resolution. But it had come to this."

"Father! Mother! Run!" I pressed, my heart beating in a frenzy. Because I cannot go through this again.

"Compared to you, our pain will end in an instance," father continued. "Even if our philosophies differ, I am proud of you." The Uchiha patriarch gave Itachi a brief smile before facing forwards.

"Take care of Sasuke," his mother said finally, her voice rimmed with warmth and acceptance.

"Please, Aniki," I begged, eyes blurry. "Listen to me."

For a second, Itachi hesitated and I thought that I had finally gotten through to him. Alas, he hardened his face, exhaled slowly and thrusted the tip forward. The katana, going through my chest and exiting my back, but there was no blood.

I caught my breath, reliving the feeling of dread and disbelief. Behind me a muted thump of body against floor was heard.

As Itachi raised the katana again, his hands shook a moment, before he stilled them and made another downward swing.

Once more, I was reminded that this was another cursed memory.

And that nothing would ever change.

Why have the ocean when you can drown?

Why have fire when you can burn?

Why have air when you can't breath?

Why have the earth when you can no longer grow?

Why does my world end but I still live?

Is it cruel to dream of a world that ends when I do?

"Just kill me," I whispered before my elder brother, broken. "Please just end this." I fell to my knees, the heartache and misery threatened to take me whole.

"Mangekyo Sharingan," Itachi called out, molding his hands into signs.

Eventually, Sasuke, who had newly discovered his slain parents, screamed. His screams pierced through the night, the kind that latched to your mind and clawed at your heart. A while later the torment stopped.

"Foolish little brother, if you want to kill me, despise me, hate me," Itachi said, unkindly, to the frightened, crying boy. "Then, run, run… cling to life and survive in an unsightly way. Then someday, when you have these same eyes, come to me."

"Aniki, kill me," I cried, thumping my chest over and over and over. "KILLLLLL MEEEEEEE."

A sharp jab at the neck and Sasuke fell backwards, to which Itachi caught him with ease and laid him gently on the floor. Itachi, touched Sasuke's cheek gingerly, for what seemed like an eternity. "Forgive me. For burdening you with the Uchiha name." Then, the intensity of his gaze relaxed, and Itachi loosened his touch over Sasuke. "Live, Sasuke."

Itachi left soon after, leaving the young boy alone to a life of torment and vengeance, with his heart torn to shreds. And I, with the same heart, still undone.

Drained from life itself, the next memory brought me to a patient's ward. It was Konoha hospital due to the unique blue and white striped curtain divider. A symphony of cicadas filled the starry night sky and I shuffled towards the open window by the bed, breathing in the clean air until the urge to vomit had subsided.

Trembling, I was glad to have finally broken away from the nightmares. Since young, I had learnt to fragment my memories, allowing for only a little to invade my mind at a time. Enough for me to remember where and how I came to be but not enough to relive it.

Behind me, the sound of the door opening and closing could be heard.

Alarmed, I spun around only to see the sight of a person, whose name, if spoken, would bring any man to his knees - Mother. Truthfully, I no longer kept anything of value to remember her by. I burnt the only picture I have left of my family, in order to cut any earthly ties, to focus on my vengeance.

She did not see me, as I was merely a spectator of this lost memory.

She shuffled towards the bed slowly, a hand holding her stomach, whilst the other carried a small bundle. As she set the small bundle on the hospital bed, I realised that I was looking at a new-born version of myself, whom was sleeping soundly. Then, she tucked herself in bed, a protective hand on the new-born's chest.

I dropped my hand on the white cotton sheets, watching her smile extend to her eyes as she pressed her lips against the new-born's head.

It is said that the first love of a son is his mother. For me that serves to be true. I had always remembered my mother to kind and beautiful. In the Uchiha clan's life of order and discipline, she would bring small moments of affection and teach me how to appreciate the world.

I laid down on the bed, facing my mother, with my new-born self in between. "The worst part-" I paused to breathe "Is having lived two realities. One with you and one without." Eyes focused on her face. I imagined how she would look like should she have lived. Her eyes would have been etched with lines of laughter and her cheeks falling with gravity from the weight of her love.

As my mother dozed off, I reached for her hand, resting it on top of hers. My eyes fluttered and drooped as I too fell into slumber. For as long as I can remember, I had never felt safe. But at this moment, I felt the whole world, be in a frozen embrace that will never let go.

I had forgotten when I had last slept so deeply.

Yet when I awoken, I was in a fetal position, head between my knees, alone and in total darkness. I was wrapped in a hard, web-like substance, which limited my movements despite my efforts to break through. However, my attempts only made the substance tighten, squeezing my body further.

I stopped moving and yelled for help but it came out ugly and guttural.

The darkness is a place that I was accustomed to. It lives deep inside me like how night is very much part of day. What I have never admitted was how much I had feared it. It often casts a shadow on an otherwise normal day and steals my strength day after day despite my growing weariness.

As fear invades my mind again, I remembered my sword but the confined space would not allow me to draw it free. I screamed again and again and again. I realised that the desire to see my mother again outweighs nothingness and so I fought on, for freedom.

When I could no longer scream and my actions proved futile, I sobbed. Because when I could no longer fight, it seemed to be the only option left. The last time I wept was when I had awaken my mangekyo sharingan, upon learning of how I had wrongly killed my brother. With Itachi's death, the last of my tears was shed. However, it did not take away the burning pain, which grew hotter and larger in capacity, that it stayed in place, seared in my mind, constricted my lungs and lapped away at what was left of my heart.

Suddenly, a warm comforting pressure was on my back. Then, a muted voice called out tome, softly, then louder and Louder and LOUDER until sunlight penetrated through the cocoon and hands reached out to me in the dark.

Crows are often seen as bad omens. Its terrible caws a sign of death.

Years after the Uchiha massacre, a murder of crows made the Uchiha Quarters its permanent home. Effectively, causing the Konoha residents to avoid the area.

It was the familiar sound of harsh, raucous calls that brought me back to the present. A murder of crows was seen lined, atop tall branches. Their eyes fixed on me and my companion, Oni.

"Memories are cruel. It has a way to make its way back to you, even when you flee," I startd, resting my head on his reliable back, too drained too walk. On our right flows a green river amidst a valley of tall trees and flat hills.

"Memories hold valuable things," the yokai argued. The river reflected our image of a yokai giving a young Sasuke a piggyback. Then, a ripple, and the image changed to that of a young Sasuke sharing a plate of cut watermelon with his older brother.

"No. It is regrets, missed chances and a missed future." I released my hold on the yokai, to a standing position. I bent down to pick up a flat rock and tossed it to the image. It dispersing and replaced with our present reflections. "It is recollections through a fogged glass, with no opportunity to reach the other."

"So you forget them?"

"Would memories fill me up and make me whole? Would memories change what had happened?" I bit back. "I am only left with emptiness."

"We free ourselves, Sasuke," the yokai pressed. "You are strong enough to do so."

"I am not," I believed.

"You are, Sasuke," the yokai pressed again.

"Then why are you here, Aniki." The yokai took a step back. "Why are you here if I am so strong?"

"Because I promised that I would always be there for you, every step of the way." The yokai, stated. His face, with deep creases, shifted back to the handsome features of his older brother and his body lost the sturdiness of a yokai. In place, was a 12 year old Itachi. "How did you know?"

"They weren't my memories. They could only be yours," I stated. "I understand you now. I would have understood you then."

"Sasuke, that was a choice I made."

"Yes, you made," I accused him. "All those years I hated you. You should've killed me. You could've taken me along. I would hate you. But I'd rather despise you then be without you. But you've taken our parents away from us. You took yourself away from me."

"Otouto…"

"You took everything away all at once," I breathed. "All at once." Since young, sorrow had taught me my true nature, hatred showed me what I was capable of and regrets revealed what I needed. "I never planned to live that long." My face buckled, and with it tears. "You had the last piece of me. Once I had my revenge…." I trailed off. "But I had the last piece of you and I couldn't."

"You lived, Sasuke. For that I am grateful."

"I tried," I said, hoarse. "But I am drained."

He took a step closer, placing his hands on my shoulders. "I am proud of you. You have done nothing wrong. But you need to live."

"I want to live," I confessed. "I-I need to live." The weight of the name of the Uchiha clan no longer burdens me. But it was important that the world to forgets the fault of the Uchihas but rather their deeds. I was the only one that could shoulder that responsibility. "But not without you."

The landscape smeared, leaving a vast expanse of white and nothingness. In the middle of the landing was an adult Itachi, wearing Uchiha robes and myself who was back to my present-day self.

"I can leave you now," Itachi stated. "You are ready."

"I need you."

"No, Otouto. You already have what you need."

"We have time left," I argued.

"You might not, Sasuke," he revealed. "It is time." Itachi reached out to ruffle my hair. "You have grown to be a great man."

Foreheads pressed against each other. "At the end, as at the start, and through all the spaces in-between, I will always love you, Sasuke." Itachi said warmly, with the same smile that he wore during death. "I hope to see you much later."

"Aniki," I said, pulling away from his grasp.

"Mm."

Unable to find the right words, I raised my only hand and flicked his forehead. "I might take a while."

A final brilliant smile, then an even more brilliant light, that surrounded us, pulsing with warmth. Itachi had vanished, crossing over to that place where words can never reach.

We are born lonely voyagers in this journey of life. From the seas, we learn that it is meant to be filled. That the water sustains us and the waves ebbs as does time.

A few kilometers from butterfly point, two fisherman began to reel in their large fishing net that was cast in the sea. The waters were rough but as men who spent their life on seas, they were able to swiftly and efficiently pull in the net, spilling the days catch of fish and squid onto the boat.

Spending his life, gazing at the seas, the bearded fisherman thought he has seen it all. "A man," he called out to his companion, alarmed. A body of a man, wearing black robes, slid onto the deck, freed from the net.

The copper-skinned companion, rushed to the said man's side, fearing that it was too late. He placed two fingers on the man's neck. "A pulse. But a weak one."

The bearded fisherman, undid the robes and opened the unmoving man's airway, tilting his head back. Then, he placed two hands on the man's chest and performed chest compressions.

Alternating between rescue breaths and chest compressions, there seemed to be no change and the two fisherman had lost hope. Until the last Uchiha, heaved out seawater and everything else that had once weighted on his chest and heart.

"Welcome back," the bearded fisherman barked, relieved. "Blessed the seas and the wind that blows."

The copper-faced fisherman laughed, tears spilling from the corner of his eyes. "You're a spirited one. We thought we lost you."

We often wonder whether there would be a better ending. Only to realise that, in the end, there never was. But there will always be new beginnings.

On the boat's stern, a white butterfly rests.

The end

Epilogue

Home, as I now come to understand, was not the empty Uchiha compound. It was not Konoha, the village I once fought for, nor Orochimaru's hideout. But rather, it was the three people who stayed despite my faults. The three who never once gave up on me, who had forgiven me and are waiting for my return patiently.

So, on a Friday, when the first verse of spring spoke and the wind had lost its bite, I returned. The journey back to Konoha was a canvas of bright green and diffused sunlight. The air no longer felt stifling and the familiar birdsong guided me back home.

It did not take long for me to find them.

They were eating ramen for breakfast at Ichiraku's. No doubt at Naruto's suggestion. I could smell the miso ramen, which was the blond-haired idiot's favourite. They were sitting in a row, at their usual spots at the long counter, Kakashi with his hokage's hat on the left most, the pink haired beauty beside their former teacher and another two seats over, was Naruto in his loud orange jumpsuit.

I took off the hood of my dark cloak, pushed the store's worn linen awning to the side, walked in and sat down at my usual seat. "I'll have the same," I called out to the restaurant owner, pointing towards Sakura's miso chashu ramen.

Teuchi paused from his task of wiping down bowls, eyes wide in shock for a brief second, before nodding in acknowledgement. "One miso chashu ramen coming up," he replied. "And four chicken skewers on the house for Team 7."

The chopsticks slipped through the hokage's fingers at the familiar voice. He turned to his right, taking in the sight of his former student and someone whom he regarded as a son. Kakashi's shoulder slowly raised, the weight of the world dissipating. "The chopsticks." The hokage, usually eloquent in speech, pointed at the jar of clean chopsticks in front of me.

I took a clean pair and passed it to my former teacher, my arm brushing Sakura's small back.

In spite of the physical contact, it was my eyes serene, that caused Sakura to release a shaky breath. Because, despite my crimson eyes, it no longer bled. Sakura did not know how to convey the happiness at seeing me once again, in words or action. So, she turned back towards her bowl of steaming ramen, blowing at her spoonful of broth, and took a sip.

Naruto was not so elegant. He choked on his 3rd bowl of ramen which required heavy thumps on the back. "Teme," Naruto coughed, reaching for the napkin. "Not so hard. Are you trying to break a bone."

I ignored him and focused on the ramen and chicken skewer set down in front of me.

Although Kakashi, Sakura and Naruto had questions, and I had the intention of reconciliation, no words were exchanged. Team 7 decided to relish in comfortable silence. It took them back to the younger days in the training grounds where they would eat their self-made bentos silently yet comfortably in each other's presence.

In between a few bites, I paused and turned to look at my chosen family. I reflected on how brittle are butterfly wings and how I no longer want to waste on fragrant flowers. How I was finally at peace with myself despite the sadness that I still carried. "I'm home," I announced, voice wavering. With lips upturned and eyes moist, I held their watery gazes briefly before returning to my bowl of half-eaten ramen.

Just when a caterpillar is cocooned and learnt of darkness. It became a butterfly and learnt of light.

A/N – As usual I am late. Thank you to FOTF for inviting me to this challenge. Actually it was supposed to me for the 2022 challenge but I had trouble finishing it.

For a valentine's day challenge, I wished to write something romantic with my usual Nejiten pairing but my mind headed this way. This is my first time writing about Sasuke and first time writing in a male perspective. It was difficult but I wanted this story to reflect familial love, self-love and self-forgiveness if anything. I also wanted to explore how Sasuke was after the death of his brother. It is a little rushed in some areas and maybe unfinished. But I think this is as good as it gets for now.

Thank you very much for reading this special piece.