"How is she?" Steve's question was hollow, that of a commanding officer as he walked into the lab. It reignited the anger within Bucky having heard that tone used on missions previously.
"She's not your mission, Steve. She's a person." He barks the reminder, filling up the familiar black-painted thermos with the blood he was able to talk Bruce into drawing from him.
"She's a dangerous person who apparently feeds on blood. You don't think that's something to keep under surveillance, Barnes?" Tony questions, tilting his head slightly as he takes a bite of the stick pretzel he held in his hand. Bucky laughs, screwing the lid onto the thermos as he turns from the sink toward the men behind him.
"You didn't seem too threatened to learn much more about her past her hatred for Loki before inviting her into our little group. Maybe if you paid attention you'd understand who you're dealing with." He smirks, his tone cold even as his eyes fall over his best friend. Behind him, the cameras showed her picking at her long skirt again as she struggled to sit still in the center of the floor. She had nothing. Even Loki was permitted his gifts. Realistically, he understood the desire to take such powers from her, but she deserved so much more than what she was given. He watches as she tries to use her power to change her clothes, but at the slightest wisp of smoke, her collar ignites. She groans, gripping the device as she fumbles and falls to her knees.
"You put a fucking shock collar on her?!" Bucky roars, throwing Tony back into his work table despite Steve grabbing at him to calm him down. He pulls away harshly, shoving him back just the same.
"This will go sideways, Stark, and when it does—" He growls, knowing Tony wouldn't let him in her cell without a fight, but this was cruel.
"Darling, let me help you." Loki's voice interrupts his thoughts as the cameras shift toward the movement in his cell. He watched as Loki walks toward the barrier, his hand on the glass as he crouches down to her level in hopes of breaking into her line of sight despite obviously struggling to maintain her disassociation.
"We've done enough. If you want to do something, tell me he's alright. Tell me he's not beating himself up for what I've done." She pleads with him, tears choking off the artificial strength in her tone. That was enough for James to take what he could shove into two bags and head down to the holding cells.
The thought of her needing Loki for anything further made him nauseous. Bucky promised himself she'd never need anyone else again. Seeing how he paced along the edge of his cell, watching her shiver under the harsh lights was enough to put Bucky into a frenzy as he stepped up to the steel platform surrounding her cell. He taps on the glass as he sits across from her on the metal grates.
"Hiya, beautiful. I thought you could use some things from our room." He forces a smile, straightening to push the bag through the small drawer left for any sort of nourishment she was permitted. It was a ridiculous way of handling her situation, but he had no choice for the time being.
"Jamie? You shouldn't be down here. Please, I don't want to cause you any more trouble." She blurts, crawling closer. The tears in her eyes burned a hole through his chest. He couldn't stand the way they glowed under the monitor collar's bright light as if she were an animal.
"I don't care about that. It's nothing we haven't dealt with before." He chuckles, trying to ease her mind. She shakes her head, pulling at her collar.
"This is new." She chirps softly, wishing she had taken advantage of holding onto him while she could. After a long moment of silence, he breaks the deafening lack of sound with a subtle sigh.
"Why didn't you let me help you?" He asks softly, hating the question more and more as each syllable left his lips. "I've gotten you through so much worse, baby."
"I was afraid I'd hurt you. The last thing I want is to hurt you." She tries to explain. "Please, you have to understand, I never meant to be gone so long." She shakes her head, the shards of glass in her throat building as she fights her tears. "I should've been the one to replace your arm. I-I should've been here." She beats herself up. She was sure no one else would understand, but to her the last remnants of Hydra were in the length of his hair and that silver appendage. She promised him she'd free him and she once again failed.
"You wouldn't have wanted to be here for that anyway, sweetheart." He hums, looking down at his vibranium hand. "You would've killed Tony." He chuckles, wincing slightly at the memories of the disagreement the three men had over going after her before he and Tony finally came to blows. That damned suit took his arm. Lost in his own thoughts, he slides his hand into his pocket to pull out a ring.
"I did have this made for you though." He smiles sheepishly, sliding the ring into the drawer as well. She sits up to take it, rolling it in her hand as if it were some precious, cracked China doll on the verge of giving way. The silver band was rather plain with the word 'Zima' engraved on the inside.
"What-why.."She stammers, looking up at him. He smiles and shifts closer.
"It's the last of the arm you created. That way no matter where you go, I'll be with you." He explains, anxiously twirling a matching band on his right hand, growling when Loki audibly gags behind him.
"But-but that was such a horrible time for us. Why would you want to keep it?" She wonders, cringing at all the terrible things they made her do to keep him safe.
"Because they gave me you, Angel." He smiles, pressing his hand to the glass. Without another word, she slips the ring on her finger and blows him a kiss.
"You don't need Loki. You know that right?" He hums after a long moment of bittersweet silence, his eyes shamefully low as he pulls away from the glass. The words stung more than she was prepared for. She straightens and shifts closer, clawing at the glass to reach for him.
"James, everything I do is for you. You can't for a second think that I'd choose anyone over you." She pleads with him. Ignoring the giddy way Loki smirks, standing across the room directly behind James as if his shadow alone would be threatening to a tortured man.
"What am I supposed to think, sweetheart? You're weak at the sound of your own name just because he has the decency to use it for the first time in hundreds of years and then you run off with him. I should've been the one you turned to." He struggles to explain through his own fears, watching how his words made her skin crawl.
"You're supposed to understand that that was my life long before you. That I still have a lot of anger for the situation and that I just learned the man I considered a brother was a part of it." She sighs. "You knew I hadn't been feeding properly and my rage made my powers unstable. I panicked." She explains softly, her eyes lowered to her hands in her lap. "He wanted out and I needed away from anyone I could hurt. I didn't know what else to do."
"I should've been the one to help you through this." He reiterates, his hand pressed to the glass once more. He wanted so badly to feel her skin against his. To calm every troubling thought in her head. He needed in that cell.
"And do what, James? Do you have any idea how disgusting I feel having to feed from you in any capacity? That would've been worse had your team seen it." She shudders, avoiding his eyes. "I'm terrified you'll see me the way I do and leave. I-I can't lose you too." She confesses selfishly. His heart shattered as she sobbed. He hadn't thought about how insecure she was. While he feared she would replace him with someone more suitable, like another God, she had it ingrained in her mind that she was not anywhere near good enough for the love he held for her.
"I love every bit of you, my Goddess. I'm so sorry." He hums, leaning against the glass. She wipes her eyes and kisses the glass where his forehead is laid.
"You're my everything, Sergeant. I'm sorry for what I've gotten us into." She breathes, trying to settle herself.
"I'll get you out of here as soon as I can. They can't keep me from you forever." He reassured her with a smile as he sat back to pull a pillow and sleeping bag from his bag.
"Jamie, you need to go to bed. I-I'll be fine." She forces a smile, busying herself with unpacking the bag he brought her. Inside was a pillow and blanket, two changes of clothes, the thermos and her favorite scrunchie. She laughs softly, hugging the oversized shirt of his he had packed her to sleep in to her chest.
"Even if you are tonight, this is too close to Hydra for my liking. I won't let you suffer through this alone." He huffs with a commanding nod telling her not to argue with him. The panic that consumed her with the realization was visceral as she leaned forward into the glass again.
"Your nightmares. I-I won't be able to take them." She exhales breathlessly, her eyes falling from his face as she scrambles to think of a solution.
"I know, but no matter what happens I don't want you to try. I couldn't live with myself if you were hurt on my behalf again." He shrugs. He truly didn't care what happened to him as long as she was safe.
"Nat! Natalia! Natasha, please, you're the only one I trust to keep him safe!" She begs, moving into the line of the cameras.
"Easy Princess, I'll be fine. It's you I'm worried about." He smiles, trying to reel her back in.
"You never worry about yourself." She sighs, following his lead as he makes a bed on the grate opposite her. Her eyes shift toward Loki behind him as she struggles to find a place to change out of respect for James. Biting her lip, she slips her shorts under her skirt and pulls Bucky's shirt over her own before methodically taking her clothes off while staying hidden.
"I need you to get some rest, okay? I'll be right here." He hums softly, watching her lie on the cold floor and curl into her blanket. He puts his hand on the glass once more, smiling as her hand covers his.
"I love you, James." She whispers as exhaustion overcomes her.
"That's my girl. I love you too." He chuckles softly.
That night, while Loki was reading he could hear her breathing become erratic. He puts down his book, eyes flickering toward the sleeping soldier across from her. He himself was covered in a thin sheen of sweat, his heart racing as he seemingly reacted to her nightmares. Biting the inside of his cheek, he knew he had to help her without waking Bucky from his slumber. He couldn't lose this chance to pull them apart. Sitting back on his bed, he feigns reading his book once more. Just as he had the other night, he uses his magic to push into her dreams, flinching when he sees her in a heap on the small stone training arena Hydra used for its soldiers.
"Get up." A voice barks, swinging a pipe at the barred entryway in hopes of commanding her with the loud noise it produced. She flinched and groans, pulling herself together enough to sit up on her knees.
"I could do this more so to your liking if I wasn't starved." She huffs breathlessly, pushing hair from her sweaty, bruised face. Was this really what she had been forced to endure?
"Oh you're hungry? Perfect." The Russian accent laughs as the footman walks back into the darkened hall. Moments later, he opens the door and pushes in a sluggish, beaten and abused James.
"Feed from your pet, Goddess." He laughs. The smell of his blood burned her throat, but gave her the strength she needed to stand.
"He's broken." She lies, her hand caressing his face in the shadows to reassure him that her harsh words were nothing but a show for them. "Would you like me to kill off your Winter Soldier project? He needs to heal before I can feed from him." She rolls her silver eyes, reaching through the bars to grab the footman and pull him hard into the door. The force from the pull busted his lip, broke his nose against the bars and split open his left eyebrow. The scent of his blood as it quickly washed over his face set her nerves on fire, making her fanged smile in that dim lighting even more rabid.
"Will they come for you?" She smirks, her fangs gleaming threats in the dim light. She felt disgusted for having to do this in front of James, but she yanks the door off its hinges to pull the man inside before jamming the door back into place hard enough to warp the metal. Trapping them all inside.
"Besides, like you said, he's my pet. You mean nothing to me." She laughs, the wickedness in her tone bordering on insanity as she attacks him. The blood gave her a high she hadn't allowed herself to feel in quite some time, even as it coated her throat and chest from the sloppy bite. She didn't release the dead body until she was electrocuted repeatedly with elongated cattle prods. Dropping to her knees, unable to answer the muffled groans from her soldier, the few footmen that came to rescue their comrade strapped a spiked collar around her neck to drag her back to her cell like a dog. Once locked back inside, under the darkness of the powered down cell block, Selene huffs his name.
"I'm here. I'm okay." He groans as he wraps an arm around his midsection, sitting against their shared wall. She nods to herself, pushing the crumbing bricks between them away.
"They were talking about wiping me tomorrow before the mission in Paris." He sighs, flexing his metallic hand. She nods and leans into him.
"Just let me have it and I'll get you to Paris in one piece." She promises, trying to shift the collar into a more comfortable position around her neck. He felt terrible he couldn't offer her any solace; any sort of peace of mind. Instead, he reaches for her collar, recoiling when she flinches.
"Leave it. They'll remove it before they ship us out. They have to think they have some sort of an edge over us." She instructs him. "I'll heal you once we get to the safe house." She promises, running her fingers through his hair. He leans forward, lying his forehead against hers. Loki watched as she crawled back through the hole in the wall and settled into her bunk before shifting her dreams into that of her time in Greece. She looked so happy dancing with those children in the village. He worked his way into the crowd, just as her mind had thrown Bucky in, and reached for her.
"You deserve so much more, Starlight." He breathes into her ear from behind her, watching as the young village women grope at Bucky. She roars animalistically, flashing her fangs again to scare them away, but it seemed to turn their love for her around. Suddenly she was a beast in need of vanquishing and James was her damsel in distress, disgusted by her ravenous need to protect him. She had finally become a monster to him.
"Jamie? Jamie, don't go. James!" She cries out, sitting up quickly in her cell.
This went on for days. Every day Bucky would come to see her, stay the night and make sure she fed. He skipped out on missions and meetings to be with her. It had even gotten so bad that Natasha had started bringing two plates down during every meal so she too could accompany the estranged duo.
"I'm right here, sugar. Shh, it's okay." He hushes her once again in what had become their routine with her nightmares, hating that he couldn't actually touch her to further reassure her of his presence. Finally, she gives in to the torment and sobs, punching the glass as Hydra's wards consume her struggling mind. She couldn't take it anymore. Her nightmares were consuming her, making it very difficult for her to distinguish between them and reality without her knight in shining armor. She holds her head, gritting her teeth through the pain as her collar repeatedly shocks her through her attempts to make the nightmares go away, screaming for help. Bucky runs to the door, tearing the lock apart in hopes of getting inside as Loki appears behind her. He wraps his arms around her, igniting a hateful fire inside Bucky.
"Get him out. Get him out. Save him. Please someone get him out." She screams, tugging at the collar as it burns her skin. Her mind raced with her failures toward him, begging her to right them. She couldn't save him. She couldn't free him. She couldn't keep him out of harms way. She couldn't keep those disgusting hands off of him and she couldn't give him the normal life he deserved. He deserved better than her and the notion made her want to die.
"Selene, it's okay. I'm okay." He pleads with her as Steve and Thor enter the chamber. She shakes her head, thrashing in Loki's arms as his image morphs into that of the soldiers that tore into her. She finally gave in, something within her hoping she'd be able to take his suffering again if she just gave in to those around her.
"Save him. Please." She begs once more as her body finally gives out, passing out in Loki's arms again. Bucky pulls free from Steve, throwing a piece of the locking mechanism at Loki's cell.
"Get away from her!" He growls. Loki laughs and stands, motioning toward his apparition in her cell.
"You'd rather leave her alone? She needs you right now and you're nowhere to be found. How sad." He smirks.
"I'm right here!" He hisses, watching her pant even in her fitful sleep. "I-I can't get in."
"And I can. So I'll ask for clarification." Loki smirks wider, bending down to Bucky's position below him. "Would you really like me to leave your precious love alone because you can't get to her yourself?" He prods at his insecurities and the need he had to hold her. Bucky couldn't argue as Steve tugged at his arm.
"That's what I thought. Now show some gratitude, Soldier." His deadly smirk turns sinister as he stands straight, watching as his apparition cradles his Goddess close.
Above them, Wanda and Natasha were busy making accommodations for the wounded deity. While Wanda struggled to come up with ideas to help her cope with her dark cravings, Natasha rushed to Fury's side for a meeting with the council on her behalf.
"She won't abandon him." Natasha argues with the council when mentions of freeing her from her shackles come about.
"And whys that? Because she loves him? That's not enough to keep her here, Agent Romanoff. She's dangerous." A councilman snaps.
"She came here to help us. If she's going to go anywhere it's back to Olympus, but I'm telling you, if you want to use her power then he's the key." She tries to reason with them. Fury steps forward and clears his throat for their attention.
"There is a floor Stark could control much like the cells below. If Agent Romanoff is correct, we could renovate the floor to be their cell. It'd allow us to control her behavior while giving Selene the handout she needs to learn to trust us. She would be a magnificent asset." He explains, using the screens to display the layout of the floor he would be converting for the recovering ex-Hydra assassins. Before the council could give their commentary on the idea, Fury presses the disconnect button for their shared call. The tension in the room thickened as his assistant stiffened.
"Give Sergeant Barnes the news. I'm sure Captain Rogers will help him move their belongings, but make sure Stark is aware we need those doors and cameras rewired." He orders Natasha before waving her out of his office.
Hours later, after successfully moving everything up to their designated floor, Selene was still struggling to wake up. Left sleeping fitfully with Wanda fighting to calm her mind from across their bedroom, James met with the rest of the team in the living room.
"I can't leave her for long. What is it?" He sighs, running a hand through his hair in frustration.
"Try starting with 'thank you'." Tony snaps as he finishes tinkering with the panel in the far wall.
"What do you want praise for now, you narcissistic carbon copy Howard? Torturing the woman I love until she passes out? Yea you're just a fucking blessing." Bucky laughs harshly, rolling his eyes before sitting next to Steve on the couch.
"Uh oh, Cap. He said a bad language word." Tony snickers under his breath, clutching his chest in a dramatic show of how painful Bucky's words were to him despite the moment of realization that dashed across his features. Tony was a lot more like Howard than he was willing to admit, but to hear that from a man that not only knew him but murdered him was far too much for him to handle at the moment. So he wouldn't.
"Relax, Buck. All that matters is that she's out now." Steve chimes in, clapping a hand onto Bucky's back. He pulls away to stand once more, deciding that being that close to the two men who had a hand in this was dangerous for their health.
"You're wasting my time." He groans, turning to walk out of the room when Steve stands to step in his way.
"Come on, pal, stop and think for a second. Are you sure you wanna risk your freedom for some dame who kept you in a cage?" He says gently. The strength in his tone wavered as if his mind couldn't fully commit to utter the harsh words as he crossed his arms over his chest. The implication that Selene kept him locked away was enough to anger Bucky all over again, but hearing her whimpering in pain again and again in her sleep only intensified it. He grabs Steve's shirt, throwing him back against the elevator doors, slamming his weaponized left hand onto the portion beside his head hard so the threatening sound would echo through the room.
"Get out." He roared, his steel blue eyes darkening into deadly navy blue pools of boiling anguish as he pulled away to accompany Wanda at her side once more.
"She's dangerous." Steve shouts, following after his old friend. "You don't actually love her. You're trauma bonded. Come on, you need time to adjust too. Let's just get you settled back into your room and Thor can take these two home where they belong." That was the final straw. Bucky stops in their doorway, turning to look at Steve for a moment as if pondering the reality of his statement. In all actuality, he couldn't decide where to hit the man first. All he knew was that he wanted to shut him up and leave a mark as a reminder. Before he could say another word, Bucky punches him in the jaw. Feeling it connect wasn't as satisfying as he thought, using his dominant right hand. Stepping into Steve as he stumbled back, Bucky grabs his shirt and throws a few more into his ribs. Even with the limited sensation, he could feel his ribs cracking against the vibranium knuckles, but before anyone else could intervene, Bucky wraps his hands around Steve's head as he struggled to protect his face, pulling his head down as he thrusted his knee up into his nose. The sickening sound of his nose breaking and bruising across America's most prized features, he smirks wickedly at the blood that poured from the damage he caused.
"You want to act like we haven't changed. Like we are still the same best friends that Brooklyn knew to watch out for because I'd always save your sorry ass." He hisses, watching as Steve pulled himself up off the floor. "You were given that shield, that suit and that fucking name. You're nothing but a dumb kid that finally got what he wanted. The war wasn't what you thought it'd be huh? Think about how it was for those of us that fought for what we got. That weren't given the serum or even had a choice." He spits venom, his teeth grinding roughly along his cheek. "She is the only thing that keeps me sane. If you talk badly about her again, I'll kill you. Do I make myself clear, Captain Rogers?" He huffs, putting emphasis on his moniker as if the name left a bad taste in his mouth, throwing a towel into his chest to clean himself up before finally climbing into bed with her to hold her close.
"What's her nightmare this time?" He asks softly, his energetic shift almost palpable despite Tony ushering a bruised Steve from the floor. Natasha sits next to Wanda in the window sill, watching Bruce take notes next to Thor in the doorway.
"She-she won't let me in. She's struggling to control herself." Wanda exhales as her red mist flutters through her temples.
"I'm so sorry, little Olympian." Thor hums, bending down to kiss her forehead. Alongside the soft, gentle whispers of her beloved, the small shock given to her by the contact of their skin was enough to force her awake, but not without unleashing utter chaos. Her power explodes outward, throwing Thor back into the doorway. The shadows of her gifts push each person that had gathered around her, backwards. Wanda's chair screeches against the floor as Natasha clings to the window frame, pleading with anything that would listen to her inner monologues that the creaking glass behind her back wouldn't give under the force of her power and weight.
"Goddess! Stop this!" Thor roars over the sound of whipping winds as the floor grows dark. The sun outside seemed to blacken as she screams. Her shadows cradle her as they slowly lift her from the bed as if she were in The Exorcist, her bright eyes glowing silver as her skin cracks under the need to release her rage.
"Thor, shut up!" Bucky barks, digging the heels of his combat boots into the wooden floor as best he could, following her movements as the shadows stand her upright. He slowly moves around the bed toward her, singing a lullaby she had once taught him the one time they were permitted to train in Rome.
"Angel," He breathes, touching her gently as her scars shift over her skin as if reopening to prove her torment to the world. He stutters in his commanding demeaner as his eyes catch the thickly branded Hydra symbol reopening in the center of her chest just before hundreds of thin lines cover it. The scars on his chest ache similarly. Had she tried to cut the brand from her flesh as he tried to remove the monstrous appendage? "Ground yourself, my Angel." He continues, taking hold of her hips to force her toes to touch the cool flooring. She whines softly, her shadows whipping around them roughly as she takes hold of his forearms.
"They can't have you." She whimpers, her fears taking over as her skin splits into each defaming word that is recarved into her porcelain skin. Failure. Murderer. Broken. Worthless. Blood-thirsty. Monster. Monster. Monster. Her skin was covered in them, repeated, even in places she couldn't reach. The thought of them carving these words into her made his blood boil. Without thinking, he turns her to face him, forcing those cold silver eyes to see the face of the man she loved.
"Give me your pain. I won't let them hurt you ever again. Stay with me, Goddess." He pleads with her, wrapping his arm around her waist as his metallic fingers flutter under the shirt of his she sweat through. He pulls it over her head, his cold palm burning against the reopened brand and scars over her chest, forcing her to feel him in the present. She struggles against his hold, refusing to harm him despite fighting against his chest to push him away.
"Come back to me, Selene. I'm right here. Come on, beautiful, please." He begs her, refusing to show any discomfort as her nails sharpen into talons and pierce his chest. He pulls her into him, shifting his metal hand up her chest and throat and into her hair. She screams once more with one last declaration that the soldiers wouldn't take him from her, clinging to him as her shadows cocoon them in safety. He continues to plead with her to let the nightmares go until his lips finally callide with hers. Stealing her breath from her lungs was the final straw. Her heart forced her mind to release the reoccurring nightmares, clinging to him as she started to cry.
"What the hell was that?" Natasha huffs, climbing out of the window as the shadows dissipate. As the breathless deity folds into Bucky, he wraps a sheet around her shivering frame.
"That was Hydra. Repercussions of that fucking collar." He hisses, glaring at Bruce over her shoulder as he steadies himself once again. Wanda stands, offering her assistance any way she could, silently.
"I-I apologize." Selene exhales, gripping Bucky's arm to balance herself. He shakes his head, bending to pick her up with an arm around her shoulders as the other pulls her legs in close by her knees. He kisses her head repeatedly, whispering praise and reassurance as he walks past the few remaining Avengers toward their new kitchen.
"Does that happen often?" Bruce asks, watching as Bucky sits her wrapped in her sheet on the counter while he warms up a cup full of his blood.
"No. Not since she set me up in Romania." Bucky answers for her, picking her up to sit her in a chair so she could enjoy her cup more comfortably. To the team, it was odd seeing him care for her. Especially as the others flood the kitchen. Even as he leaned back against the wall behind her like nothing happened, running his fingers through her long black waves like a comb before braiding it back out of her eyes. He smiles warmly, kissing her head again before he catches sight of Steve and Sam in the hall.
"She got you to Romania? Why didn't she stay?" Sam asks, his tone wavering between inquizitive and accusatory as if she had fed James to the wolves. Steve shifts forward, but Bucky's eyes darken slightly in a threatening manner, freezing him in his place.
"Come on, man, I came to make sure you were okay." He huffs, forcing a harsh laugh from Bucky.
"I don't want to hurt anyone, Captain. I understand your hesitance, but rest assured if no one else, he is safe with me." Selene hums as she reaclimates to her new surroundings, shifting slightly back into him to kiss him as he leans down to her, taking her cup. Silently, with nothing more than a motion of the cup, he asks if she needs more. She smiles and shakes her head slightly, holding out her hand for him as he rinses the cup and sets it in the sink.
"Would it be alright if I ran tests on you? I think it could be beneficial to see the differences in your genetic makeup as to why your powers tear you apart during your ptsd episodes rather than at any particular use." Bruce asks nervously. She offers him a gentle smile to ease his anxiety, allowing him to draw her blood as the others take their seats around the kitchen and hall.
"I never intended to leave him, but as we all know, plans never go accordingly." She begins to explain, shifting to sit in Bucky's lap. He wraps his arms around her waist as she leans against his chest. "I'm sure you told the team about meeting me on the helicarrier, Captain Rogers, but after James saved you I had to ensure his safety." She was very vague, but enjoyed the angry looks Steve received for not actually coming forward with having met Selene before Thor called for her.
"Wait. Go back." Sam sighs, shaking his head in confusion. Selene laughs and nods gladly.
"I wanted to get James out of Hydra's hands from the moment I met him, but it's never that simple." She begins again. "Hydra has members all over the world so even if I destroyed the compound we were held by, another would step in. Especially when it came to their successes. They couldn't afford to lose us." She laces her fingers in through his as she traces the veins on the top of his other hand.
"After multiple failed attempts, I couldn't keep trying to free us subtly without them turning my punishments onto him. So when the helicarrier mission fell into our laps, I crashed it while they fought, hoping to fake our deaths." She squeezes his hand. "I left to ensure Ares would keep his promise to keep him safe. The problem was, in order to keep him safe I'd have to let him be taken by your team. I wasn't allowed to step in until shortly after you let my partner be reactivated." She nods, her eyes lowered to their fingers on the table. She felt terrible for her actions, but it was Steve that finally put the connections together.
"You were the one who deactivated him. You took out Tony's cameras." He blurted out. She simply nods.
"Your team wasn't helping him. He didn't need to be a zombie in their hands again. That wasn't going to happen again. I wouldn't let them take him because you couldn't protect him." She hisses. Bucky kisses her head, whispering his thanks in hopes of calming her down before things got out of hand again.
"You must understand, I did everything I could to keep his memories intact. I never wanted him to be their puppet. I killed every target I could so the blood wouldn't be on his hands. I just needed you to care for your friend in my absence and you couldn't do that." She sighs, shoving him back as he steps forward defensively.
"Don't give me that 'it doesn't work that way' bullshit, Rogers. If you wanted to keep him safe, we all know you could've done just that. You wanted the notoriety of bringing in The Winter Soldier as if your government wouldn't have dissected him all the same." She snaps.
"If you are responsible for the assassinations, what did they need Bucky for?" Sam presses further.
"I did my best, but I wasn't always capable of keeping him from them. He was terrifying. He quickly became their Boogeyman, the Grim Reaper used against anyone in their way, but I was his partner. I was named The Winter's Angel and used as bait to draw the targets into his trap." She explains. "When I needed punished, they'd drain me of my blood to keep me weak so I couldn't fight the cryogenics process. It was then that they'd finally wipe his memory and throw him into the pits alone with weapons hoping that once they freed me he'd be too far gone to free and I'd be too scared to go back to care. All it did was make me want to get him out more. Which made them want to switch our places so I would be forced to watch him be frozen in time. Every night they'd threaten to move me so I'd lose him forever but even when they tried different pairings for us, neither of us responded as well as we did to each other. They didn't have much of a choice if they wanted results." Tony shifts uncomfortably at the edge of the table, clicking his pen against the portion of his suit he kept hidden in his watch before leaning into the table.
"Did they cause this freakish appetite?" He asks, jerking when Bucky shoves the tip of his knife into the table just barely missing his finger as a warning. She puts a hand on his cheek, kissing his jaw to calm him down knowing he was only trying to protect her, before shaking her head.
"No. Maybe Bruce's tests can tell me what about my genetics forced that on me, but I wasn't bloodthirsty until after the witch trials in Salem." She explains, shrugging. "I had been tortured, burned and hanged in Europe throughout their trials, but I can only assume after the pain of being abandoned by Loki and losing my daughter and husband, the intensity behind my rage and pain caused my power to awaken something in me that may have always been there. I don't completely understand that entire thing myself. Trust me, I'm not exactly fond of the need either." She sighs, looking up at Bucky apologetically as she cuddles into his chest.
"Alright, that's enough. You need to rest." Bucky hums softly, shifting to carry her back to their room. As he gets her comfortable, Natasha shoos everyone out before popping her head back into their room.
"Hey, just a heads up, Fury is scheduling a transfer from the blood bank twice a month." She smiles brightly, hugging the Goddess tightly in her own way of checking on her well-being.
"Thank you." She says softly, knowing she helped push for these changes. Natasha nods and kisses her head, tossing Bucky the keys to what would be the new storage device for her stockpile before leaving.
"I've slept enough, wouldn't you say?" She says softly, sitting up. He smiles and offers her his hand.
"Why don't we take a bath and watch a movie?" He suggests, carrying her to the bathroom just to sit her on the counter as he warms up the water and sorts out a new change of clothes for either of them.
"Will you help me make dinner first?" She smiles, tracing his spine as he slides in between her legs.
"You're still hungry? I can get you more-" He rambles, his tone hitching higher as he begins to worry about her. She kisses his heart, sliding her hands up under his shirt.
"No but you should eat and that's always been one of my favorite things to do with you." She smiles, leaning into him just to listen to his heart.
"Sweetheart, I can't cook to save my life." He chuckles, remembering how he accidentally ruined the cookware he was allowed to use when trying to cook for her on one of their missions in Peru.
"I promise not to distract you this time and hey, I'll always be there to help you if you need it. I'm sure you'll do wonderfully." She laughs softly, blushing slightly at the otherwise dreamy memories. Ultimately, he relents to make her happy before stripping them both down to get into the steamy water. He hoped the heat would relax her, but being in his arms was more than enough as he helped wash her hair.
Unbeknownst to the couple, another apparition of Loki stood just outside the new bedroom. Something about how she giggled and fawned all over the soldier made him sick. He wanted to stop watching, to pull himself back into his cell, but seeing her in any capacity was better than being alone again.
"That should be me." He growled to himself as rage and jealousy boiled within him. She never flinched at his bionic fingers tracing up the sides of her throat. If anything, the shivers that wracked through her seemed to melt her closer to him. It was repulsive to see how easily she could be molded by such a simpleton. It wasn't until he finally heard her moan as James' hands pawed at her flesh in the steaming pool of soap that he had no choice but to tear himself away from the torment.
"She will be mine." He hisses as his form becomes whole once more with a deadly determination that drives even a chill down his own spine.