Trigger Warning: Retelling of Liv's second encounter with Lewis in the warehouse

Prompt #71: Ironic by Alanis Morisette

[Elliot drank the grappa with Liv, who channeled her inner Alanis.]

Ironic

~oOo~

Elliot wondered if giving Liv the grappa had been a mistake. He had seen her drunk plenty of times but not like this.

"It's like raaaaiiiiiin on your wedding day," Liv belted out.

Elliot tried not to wince. Liv didn't sing, ever; he now understood why. She couldn't carry a tune, but she was certainly enthusiastic. And loud.

"I didn't know you liked Alanis Morissette," he said when she finally paused.

"It reminds me of my mom."

"Your mom liked Alanis Morissette?"

"This song drove her crazy. It's not ironic for it to rain on your wedding day or have spoons when you want a knife. It is ironic that the song is full of non-ironies though. Maybe that's the genius of it."

"It's like 10,000 spoooooons when you all need is a knife. To cut out your heart—"

"I don't think that's how it goes—"

"When he leaves with no good-bye."

"Liv—"

"It's like 10 years of silence when all you neeeeeed is one call. It's like getting a letter from the not-man-of-your-dreams, written by his beautiful dead wiiiife. Shut up," she said, before he even opened his mouth.

At least she wasn't singing anymore. "Thank you, Jesus," he thought.

"See? That was actually ironic. So was you running to help me after I got a black eye but not showing up after I put a gun to my head and pulled the trigger." Elliot's face paled. "Isn't that ironic?" she bellowed. "Don't you thiiiink?"

"Oh my God. Liv. You tried to eat your gun?" What the hell did she mean that she'd pulled the trigger?

"I was forced to play Russian Roulette with a psychopath. I didn't try to kill myself, you asshole."

"What are you talking about?"

"Or how you didn't care enough to call back when the same psychopath almost killed me!" The look in her eyes sent chills through him.

"What? Who's the psychopath? What happened? When did you call me?" He took a deep breath and unclenched his fists.

"Like you don't know," she scoffed.

"I have absolutely no idea what you're talking about."

"Were you living under a rock? I was the headline news story for months."

He swallowed, the cold seeping into every corner of his body.

"Liv, I swear, I don't know."

"Fin called you," she said, hurt and betrayal storming across her face. "I told him not to because I was terrified you wouldn't respond. And I was right."

"When was this?" he asked quietly.

"May 2013."

"I was undercover in the spring of 2

013. We'd just moved to Italy and I was trying to infiltrate a trafficking ring. Kathy had my phone to call me for emergencies…Oh my god." He blinked rapidly. "She didn't tell me. Olivia, I'm so sorry. So desperately sorry."

Tears were rolling down his face now, and the hurt and betrayal she had suppressed for years were threatening to erupt. He took her into his arms and guttural sobs tore through her. She had never broken down like this, because the only person with whom she had ever felt truly safe hadn't been there.

"I needed you. I needed you and you weren't there. You didn't come back."

"I'm so sorry."

"I don't want to explain it. Not tonight."

"You don't have to. But I'm here when you're ready. And I'm sorry for not coming when you needed me, for not knowing. I'm so sorry, Liv."

After the crying subsided, she remained in his arms. For the first time since Elliot had returned, she felt the beginning of a sense of peace and hope for their relationship. She felt the steady rise and fall of his chest and the strength of his warm arms around her, and she fell asleep in his arms.

A/N: I changed canon and the timeline (Elliot didn't get drunk with Tia, he came to Liv after the Bx9 attack, and the grappa episode happened after the Bx9 arc. Liv obviously out of character!)

The author of this SVU Love in the Air story will be revealed in March