Pain. All-consuming. All-encompassing. All-devouring. Subaru had known little else for as long as he could remember.
In honesty, it couldn't have been that long. He remembered a past clearly enough that he couldn't be too far removed from it. A past in which he was lucky, fortuitous in fact. He lived in an air-conditioned home. He partook in an advanced society geologically removed from war. He had his necessities and luxuries provided to him by married parents that loved him.
This past might as well have belonged to someone else, however.
The suffering Subaru Natsuki had been forced to endure these last two years had all but entirely obscured his privileged upbringing. All he could dream of was the atrocities he'd experienced. The trauma he'd endured. The deaths he would never…ever forget.
"Subaru…"
The voice was no more than a whisper. A hushed plea, begging the young knight to return from unconsciousness.
"Subaru…"
The tone was cold, but the intention behind it was gentle. Someone - very obviously not accustomed to showing vulnerability or affection - was worried about him.
"Subaru, please. Wake up."
The usually-intimidating eyes of the weak young man struggled to free themselves, having to fight crust and dried tears. The room was dark for the most part, apparently still nighttime. The only sources of light were the dim moonlight separating the window's curtains, and the faint blue glow of a healing spell engulfing his forearm. The hand at the end of the arm was being grasped by one far smaller than it, lovingly.
"Subaru, you were having another nightmare, I suppose."
Subaru, finally able to pry his eyelids apart and blink the blurry tears away, slowly shifted his gaze to the seemingly young girl looming over him. It took him a moment to notice that his head was resting in her lap.
"B-...Beako?" he croaked weakly, glancing back down at their clasped hands and noticing the blue light was emanating from her enclosed palm. "What are you doing?" His eyes widened as he saw the spots of blood on the bed, as well as Beatrice's hands and legs. Trying to sit up, he panicked and stammered, "Beako, what happened?!"
The great spirit's free hand, which Subaru had not noticed had been stroking his hair, pushed his head back onto her thigh and held him there. "It's not mine, stupid boy." Noting the immediate relaxation in his body, she softened her grip and went back to petting him. "You were hurting yourself again, in fact."
Eyes widening again, Subaru lifted the arm that Beatrice wasn't treating and stared at his hand, letting out a shuddering breath when he saw the blood and skin beneath his fingernails.
"What were you dreaming about?" she asked, attempting to maintain her usual emotionless tone, though having trouble hiding her worry.
Subaru's eyes darkened and he grimaced as his mind wandered back to the feeling of being torn apart by dozens of small mabeasts. The clear memory of his flesh being disassembled piece-by-piece, the fear forever ingrained into his heart.
The Great Rabbit.
"Nothing." Closing his eyes once more, Subaru didn't notice the scowl contorting the now-tear-stained cheeks of the small girl. "I'm sorry to worry you, Beako. Thank you for healing me."
The silence was deafening. Subaru could feel the butterfly pupils burning into the side of his head.
"Do you think we don't care about you?"
The question was so soft, so quiet, but it might as well have been screamed in his face. Subaru's eyes shot wide as his breath hitched in his throat.
"Do you think we don't notice how miserable you are?"
His teeth gritted together, stifling the sob he wanted to let out as the tears flowed anew, soaking the striped stocking beneath his cheek. He felt the small blonde lean down until her mouth was inches from his ear.
"Do you think Betty doesn't suffer with you, I suppose?"
Maybe it was the breath on his skin. Maybe it was the simultaneous downward stroke of a small hand through the hair behind his temple. Maybe it was the genuine concern and love in the spirit's voice. Maybe it was a combination of many factors that rendered him unable to continue choking back his sob, balling his fists and pushing the heels of his palms into his eyes, letting out a groaning cry as his despair poured out of him.
"Shhh, it's okay, Subaru," she cooed gently as his body was racked with sobs of anguish. "Betty's here, I suppose. You're safe." Her own tears fell from her nose and landed on Subaru's face, intent on mingling with his own. The boy - and a boy, he truly was - turned in her lap and buried his face in her stomach, wrapping his now-free arm around the spirit's midsection in order to pull her closer. "Betty is never going to let you be alone again, in fact."
"I'm so sorry," he groaned into her dress between sore cries.
Beatrice let out a small gasp before her expression saddened further. "You have nothing to apologize for, I suppose." The hand she'd previously used to heal his wounds began petting his head as the other made small circles on his cheek with her thumb. "It's obvious there's something keeping you from telling Betty everything. Something serious. Betty trusts her contractor, and I know you trust Betty as well. I don't need to know the reason to be there for you; just please let me be there, I suppose."
The young man gave a slow nod into her stomach, coaxing a small smile from the drill-haired girl. As the anguished cries subsided and the panicked breathing relaxed, it became obvious that exhaustion had retaken him and dragged Subaru back to sleep. Pulling her legs from beneath his head and slowly lowering it to the mattress, Beatrice adjusted her position until she was laying next to him, their bodies facing each other. His right arm, being below him, was folded in between them, with the hand in hers, while she'd wrapped the left one over her shoulder. After a few minutes of being held and listening to the now-level breathing of her contractor, Beatrice soon found sleep herself, and dreamed of the smile she couldn't wait to return to in the morning.