Author's Notes: I can't stop fragging laughing at this tfanonkink prompt from 2014 when I think of Kaon. Here's some slight crack, short, wrote it in twenty minutes.

Mech A has a secret: he's actually a triple-changer. A has never found his second altmode very useful - it's a chair, how's that useful? - other than when he wants some time alone, 'cause then he can just transform and no one will know he's there.
One time when he's transformed to get some solitude however, mech B comes along and, seeing this comfortable-looking chair, sits down. Suddenly several new protocols are coming online and he can barely keep from ravishing B on the spot. Instead, he transforms back in a panic and dumps B on the floor. A is kinda scared, but B calms him down and eventually A decides to figure out exactly how his chair-alt works, either with B or someone else. Or several elses.

Summary: Kaon learns that his altmode's original purpose wasn't to try to kill people.

.o

Kaon had never understood why he was built to be a chair. There was plenty of ways to electrocute someone without having to resort to the clunky, unwieldy construction of a chair. Sure, you could electrocute someone to death with a chair, but who's going to sit in your lap knowing that you could shock them to death?

It wasn't until he'd joined the Decepticon Justice Division that he had someone sit in his seat for the first time that he'd discovered the original purpose of his design.

Since he was the newest replacement for the DJD member 'Kaon', Kaon got the luxury of handling a victim prior to the traitor being put through the ringer from the other DJD members. The traitor, a large black and red tractor who was espousing ludicrous notions that Megatron was living with Autobots, shook in the grip of Tesaurus's grippers as Kaon transformed into his alt mode. His built-in handcuffs snapped open, and the traitor was shoved into his lap. The handcuffs snapped shut, and something gave Kaon pause.

Kaon suddenly felt a never-before-accessed protocol begin to activate. Instead of the glee that he'd felt for taking down this traitor, he now felt an inexplicable urge to do… untowardly things to this mech. Heat bloomed within him not related to his electrical output, and cords he didn't know he had slid out and began inspecting the mech in his grip. The other DJD members looked at him with curiosity, having never seen this feature of Kaon.

The mech in his grip squirmed and made noises in protest as the cords probed intimate, sensitive areas. Gaps, wires, and even his modesty plate, no surface was left unchecked. Absentmindedly, he realised that the mech was developing a charge from the unwanted ministrations. Lubricant bubbled out from the seams of the traitor's codpiece. Kaon should have been revolted, but his protocols were giving him satisfactory pings of appraisal. The protocols wanted those cords inside the mech, to give him a good time, to bring him to an overload…

Hooks on the cable spread out and latched onto that interface panel, ripping it off (much to the chagrin of the victim), and the cables made their new home in the port of the traitor. More and more cables spread those calipers, causing the victim's hips to shake uncontrollably.

"Kaon, what in the pit…" he could hear one of them remarking.

At the same time as those instructions were given, other instructions pinged in another part of his processor. Observing that all of his cording was wrapped sufficiently in vulnerable areas, the other protocols began to whirl his chest turbine. A mech of the traitor's size likely wouldn't be able to be terminated by voltage alone, given how large he was. However, with Kaon's cables in vulnerable, exposed areas, not even the mech's surge protectors could save him from death.

The air grew heavy (the victim's pleasured moans aiding an uncomfortable atmosphere). Kaon's protocols gave the command, and Kaon delivered a lethal dose of electricity.

The mech screamed in pain; Kaon's processor screamed in pleasure.

Kaon balked in disgust after the mech was deposited in front of him, burnt rubber tainting the air. He couldn't believe that he was originally intended as a sex chair! And yet, he couldn't deny that it made him feel real good.

"H-how did I do?" Kaon asked sheepishly as he transformed back.

Tarn rubbed his chin. "A bit unorthodox… But next time, leave them alive for the rest of us to give the traitors their due punishment."