How have you been?
All these thoughts have been swirling in my head
Filling me with dread
Sometimes,
I wish I were dead
Not enough has been said;
As i lie awake in bed,
The thoughts begin to surface.
Why do I feel so worthless?
Not a single soul deserves this…
If only happiness I could purchase
God, I'm so fucking pissed
Maybe I should keep my distance…
But hey,
What a shame
It'll never be the same
Will I ever be okay?
There's so much left to say,
Yet so little time in the day
I can write this down in a poem
Do my best to capture this moment
But there is,
no guarantee
That you'll see
The situation the same
As I do
It's true
I love you
I hurt too
But I'm used to
This misfortune
I hurt you
But this is torture
I lack,
the composure
To spring back
To hit back
This is the one time
That I can't
Counter-attack
I feel so bad
All I can see is black
I'm beginning to spasm
This cataclysmic
Feeling
That I have
Inside
Is starting to intertwine
With the idea
That I
Am not enough
I'm on the cusp
Of caving in
I'm drenched in sin
But hey, how have you been?
You might say
That I'm going a bit insane
But I say
It's just the way
That my brain
Works
Each thought has a purpose
Watch and observe this
Inner focus, hocus pocus
I believe that we wrought this
We've brought all of hell's demons upon us
All of the strength we can muster
Is not enough
I'm never enough…
Is this love?
I'm sitting here, spinning in circles
I think I should join the circus
I've already planned the best act
You see
I take a cannon
And place it in the center
What better
To start some chit-chatter
Among the audience
All of the suspense
Will draw near
Their hearts full of fear
The lights dim,
And then pop
The mood grim
The people shocked
They came for a show
Maybe an explosion
But now their time wasted
They thought the trick was tasteless
And then a scream!
You see…
The cannon didn't go off
Most of the crowd had scoffed
But one little girl had seen
The real scene
My mother fucking masterpiece
See
I fucking splattered
My damn brain
All over the back entrance
And get this
All the terrified little shits headed right towards it
I should get an award
Put it on my casket
Call me the best actress
Ha!
Do you get it?
Laugh!
If only I do then that makes me an ass
This party has been crashed
My head's a disaster
I think I need to go to bed
Sometimes, I think I'm better off dead
All these thoughts have been swirling in my head
But hey, how have you been?