Author's Note: Hiya, Rynn's sister here. Just wanted to let you know that, no, we're not dead. But Rynn's slogging through trying to rework 'In this Strange Place' while also juggling carpenting school, work and art, which means it'll take a while before she starts uploading that fic you all wanted (She's currently in sixth chapter. Be patient). Because of this we decided to start uploading some of our One-shot scraps to tide you over.

So, with that out of the way, have some little fic of my own stupid ideas. Enjoy!

When asked later he couldn't say who started this particular discussion. There was a bar, a lot of alcohol and four Green Lanterns winding down after a damn long day of saving the Earth from yet another world-spanning catastrophe, dealing with each others and the rest of the league and enduring another episode of the wedding drama between Batman and Superman (everyone knew those two were married except for the concerned parties themselves, it seemed).

"Okay, I've got another one" Kyle said, tipsy with too much drink, "Weirdest lay?"

Hal groaned inwardly. He'd like to say he was an epitome of constancy and only ever dated Carol Ferris, but the truth was... he wasn't. Launching into a story of love and companionship only to learn that she was the daughter of his arch-enemy. "Sinestro wasn't happy" he closed and drank. The others nodded along and took a drink themselves.

But then Guy set his drink down and declared: "Sad story, bro. But I think I've got you beat."

"Really?" John asked, arching an eyebrow, "And who's your weirdest lay, Guy?"

The red-head grinned widely. "Bleez." he revealed with much flair.

"Bleez? Red Lantern Bleez? Second-in-Command to older-than-dirt terrorist Atrocitus? Constantly pissed off? That Bleez?" Kyle asked somewhat aghast, "Damn Guy. How'd you manage that?"

Guy shrugged. "You know I was the sort-of leader of the Reds for a while. Happened then. And I also learned that Bleez is actually the Third-in-Command to Atrocitus. The Second's the cat."

"We all knew that, seeing as the cat's the only competent Red Lantern." John retorted with an eye-roll, "But really. Details, man."

"Well, you all know Atrocitus turned his crew into some sort of Universal Punisher Squad that hunts down and kills any and all that have committed some kind of crime, right?"

"Yep" Hal groaned, "Lots and lots of fights with the Sinestro Corps over that one."

"Not to forget the fit Batman threw when Atrocitus turned Arkham into a burning crater. With everyone in it." Kyle sighed. "You'd think Bruce's a little happier now that he can kick back and relax."

"I doubt Bruce would know 'relaxation' even if it hit him in the face." John muttered, "Plus ever since Atrocitus moved into his neighborhood in said crater he's been extra twitchy."

"Although that may be because one of his kids cozied up to Big Red."

"And of course the oh-so-powerful little blue men are extra useless in that case, because, y'know, the Reds don't threaten them directly."

"Hey. Leave Ganthet out of that. He's the only one not useless in that squad."

"Anyways" Guy threw in, "Turns out that constantly hunting and killing such scum means you'll also know what they did to earn that target on their backs. And that really, really makes you angry."

"Which is the intention. Y'know, 'Red Lantern's Rage' and all that."

"Yeah, but you can only get so angry before you need some outlet, right? Usually that involves breaking a lot of stuff. Or people." He shrugged. "The other alternative is picking up a partner and having a really long, really violent fuck until you feel better. That was Bleez for me."

The other three made a face at those implications. "That... doesn't sound safe. Or sane. Or consensual. Like... at all." Kyle finally stated, "Can't they, I don't know, meditate, or something?"

"They're Red Lanterns" Hal threw in, "The average Red Lantern does not surpass 'constantly angry berserker'. They have no mental capacities for anything more complicated than fighting or fucking. Except for Atrocitus and some of his upper echelons, probably."

"And it's not like they need to care about 'safe' or 'sane' when their rings can keep them alive through almost anything." Guy added, "But it's never non-consensual. They just... like it violent."

"How violent?" Stewart asked dryly.

Guy took a long drink. "Bleez damn near gutted me with those claws of hers."

"Just... how did you ever even think that was a good idea in the first place?" Kyle stuttered.

"Surprisingly enough, she approached me" Gardner corrected, "She came to me with her proposal. And I was a 'constantly angry berserker' too, so I agreed. That's how I learned that it's a thing they do, to wind down when the anger of the universe is too much to take. They all do it. Even Big Red himself."

"Even the cat?"

"Especially the cat."

Kyle scrunched his face up even more. "Thanks. I'm going to have nightmares about that now."

Hal frowned, too. "But... wasn't... an act like such the reason why Bleez became a Red Lantern in the first place? I'm surprised she's repeating that action. And not only occasionally, from the sound of it."

The other shrugged. "Was surprised, too, but apparently as long as she's the one to initiate, and as long as her partner isn't... gentle with her, she's all down for it." He huffed a strained laugh. "That Sinestro Corpsman had been gentle, apparently. So she simply doesn't do gentle. Not anymore, at least. I mean, her usual partner is Big Red, so that says something about preferences."

They grimaced in sympathy. Strained silence settled over their table, until John picked the conversation back up. "So. I don't know whether I can top that story, but when I got to that one Biker Planet..."