Year One: Acceptance Letter

Remus Lupin couldn't say for sure what he was expecting for this year, but it certainly wasn't this. In his lightly scarred and shaky hands he held a letter. Not just any letter, mind, but one to the most prestigious boarding school in Britain-Hogwarts. With the letter fumbling in his hands, he hurried to open it.

"Dear Remus Lupin," it read, "We are pleased to extend an offer for you to attend Hogwarts. We understand that you have extenuating circumstances, and as such, the Headmaster will be making a stop by later in the week. If you would kindly send an owl to confirm your place. Thank you, Deputy Headmistress, McGonagall."

"Mam!" Remus jumped up from his perch inside the little nook in his bedroom, rushing out the door, letter clutched tightly in his hand.

"Yes, annwyl?" Hope Lupin walked around the corner wearing a red and black checkered apron, the smell of chocolate chip cookies wafting out with her.

"I'm in! I got a letter!" Remus all but shoved the letter into his mam's hands, and the little smile she'd worn was now turned down at the sides.

"Oh, wow." Hopes eyes didn't meet his as he stared up at her, honey-brown filled with awe. "This is...really unexpected."

"Isn't it lovely, mam? And Dumbledore himself will be by later this week to talk everything through with us!"

"Huh? Oh, yes, very, uh, exciting..." Remus was so elated that he didn't notice his mams reluctance as he might've another time. "Anyhow, fancy helping your old mam finish up the cookies?" Remus nodded, following his his mam into the kitchen, daydreaming whilst they worked on the last batch of what was sure to be delicious cookies.

A while later, the two of them sat at the dinner table in silence, both of them deep in thought. Remus could feel himself trembling in excitement and nerves. He had been home-schooled for all of his previous years, due to his condition, so he didn't quite know what to expect. He knew there would be several kids there, and that it could be dangerous if anyone were to find out about his condition.

And, suddenly, he was nervous for a completely different reason. In all of his excitement, he'd never even thought of how em style="box-sizing: border-box;"dangerous/em an idea this was! Surely Dumbledore or one of the professors would come to their senses, and realize they couldn't have him-a werewolf!-at a school filled with other children! His mind was now on overdrive, stressing about all of the little things that could go wrong. What were any of the professors doing, believing that this could be remotely safe at all?! He was an abhorrent monster, who wouldn't even think twice about hurting (or worse) someone else when he was like that! As if his mam could sense his thoughts, she looked up, breaking up the silence-and his thoughts-abruptly.

"Alright there, annwyl?"

"Mam, they've got to be absolutely em style="box-sizing: border-box;"bonkers," /emhe voiced hesitantly, "to think it's acceptable to invite me to attend a school that's chock full of children! Remus watched as his mam chewed on her bottom lip, eyes dark and stormy, with a sinking feeling in his gut as she wouldn't meet his eyes. "You've think they made a mistake don't you?" Remus' voice was thick and heavy, for he knew it was too good to be true.

"When you were younger, and even before you were born, Lyall would always talk about how excited he was for you to follow in his footsteps and go to Hogwarts."

Remus listened raptly; it had been quite a while since his father was mentioned.

"And then...when you got bit...we believed that that was more of a pipe dream than anything else."

"If dad were alive now, he would forbid me from going," Remus cut in darkly, "Is that where you're leading? Are you going to make me owl in an apology of why I cannot go?"

His mam finally met his gaze, looking more drawn and older than she'd ever appeared before. "Your father is dead. He has not been the man I've listened to for several years. I will not tell you if you are going to or not going to go. That is a decision you must come to terms with yourself. He left us. That selfish bas-" Hope cut herself off, collecting herself once again, "and he is not."

Remus sat there in stunned silence. Make his own choice? He was eleven! And he obviously knew that his mam had upset feelings about his dad and everything that had happened, but he had never heard her speak in such a way before.

"I'm sorry, annwyl, I didn't mean to lose myself there. Your father is just a... a dyn erchyll, and sometimes I just can't help myself.

"Mam, I understand," Remus comforted, meeting her gaze, "I do. I'm still angry with him myself, even though its been about six years now."

"Rem, have I ever told you that you are wise well beyond your years?"

"Yes, mam, you have," he smiled brightly at her, hoping it would cheer her up bit. Evidently it did, when she let out a soft smile in return.

"Annwyl, you really shouldn't have to know such pain. I'm sorry you do." Hope reached out a hand, caressing one of Remus' own in both of hers.

Remus' heart almost broke as he looked imploringly into his mams similarly colored eyes, before the guilt tearing into his chest forced him to turn away. After all, it was his fault his father was dead.

Glossary:
Annwyl: dear, darling, beloved, etc.
Dyn erchyll: horrible man