The sun was shining on the day Light Yagami was put to rest.

It was a small affair, attended only by a handful of old high school acquaintances, the disbanded Kira task force, and Light's remaining family members. The ceremony was lovely (as far as those things go), the sermon moving enough to bring tears to mourners' eyes. Or, maybe, it would have been to those who hadn't witnessed the man's spiral into hubris and insanity.

Dressed all in black and sweltering under the midday sun, Touta Matsuda lingered by the place they had buried the eldest Yagami son. He'd worn his best shoes that day, now muckied by the dirt that had been piled on top of the man's coffin; the same dirt that he now stood upon as he stared vacantly at the marbled headstone that marked Light's final resting place. To any onlookers, Matsuda perhaps would've come across as highly disrespectful. But he knew he had no reason to be. Unbeknownst to the other mourners, who'd sobbed as Light's coffin was submerged beneath the dirt, this grave was unoccupied. He stood atop an empty box, a cavity in the ground, a home for maggots and dust - but no corpse.

It was a controversial but commendable decision to create a fraudulent grave for the deceased murderer. After discovering his body lying sprawled across some stairs, Matsuda and his team had discussed with Near at length what would happen regarding funeral arrangements. Ideally, if all had gone to plan that day, Light would have faced the death penalty and been buried on the grounds of the prison, safely hidden away from the public. But, all thanks to one trigger-happy officer, Light had skipped out on receiving the justice he deserved and the fate of what would happen to his corpse was up in the air.

The group had agreed that, should word ever get out that Light had been Kira, his grave would've become a public spectacle. A holy pilgrimage site; the sacred shrine of a God. Or, quite possibly to some, a public urinal. His body would most likely be stolen by some crazed Kira fanatics, his gravestone defaced or destroyed. It would have been chaos. And, as despicable as Light's crimes had been, his mortal body deserved to be treated with consideration. So, they had agreed on burying the man in an unmarked grave, sitting in some quiet graveyard of Near's choosing, and he alone would know where Light's final resting place was. In the boy's words, Light's body was far away from anyone that his wickedness could taint. Although he wasn't completely happy with not knowing the location of Light's corpse, that statement was enough for Matsuda to feel satisfied.

They'd kept the whole ordeal hushed up, not even speaking of the arrangement amongst themselves. But, with that being said who would ever consider the possibility of foulplay at the funeral of someone so great? Especially when the whole funeral ran so smoothly. Matsuda, Aiazawa, Ide, and Mogi had been the ones tasked with carrying Light's coffin to his grave - no one stopped to wonder why they didn't seem to struggle as they effortlessly carted the coffin across the grass, which appeared almost weightless in their strong hands...

For the sake of Sayu and Sachiko, who were never told the whole truth about the circumstances surrounding Light's death, they had chosen to erect this false grave - as empty and hollow as Light himself had been - a couple yards away from Soichiro's plot. To them, the eldest Yagami child was a hero. A brave man, like his father, who had stood firm against Kira until the grisly end. It wasn't very ethical to lie but the team had agreed it would be a kindness for the two women who had lost everything. Nothing would've been gained by telling them the truth. Let them live with a blissful lie.

With a face as grey as the tombstones surrounding him, Matsuda regarded that slab of stone with a solemn indifference.

The epitaph read: "Here lies a beloved son" (yeah, right...), the words engraved just below the kanji for "night god, moon".

This may as well have been a stranger's grave, the man thought. That name, unfamiliar.

The Light that he'd come to view as a true friend and confidante over so many years... was he even real? What had been an act and which parts were genuine, if any at all? Could Light even distinguish the difference by the end?

Matsuda wanted to hate him, he really did. The things Light had said about those who'd trusted him (his father, Ryuzaki - good, honest people who'd laid their lives on the line for the sake of bringing Kira to justice) only served to make Matsuda feel ill. This was a man he'd come to idolise. Intelligent beyond measure. A good son. A great detective. Now, remembered by him as nothing more than a killer and a thief.

He'd stolen L's crown and wore it as though it belonged to him. That title, L's infamy, had been corrupted, bastardised, and made into nothing more than a taunting joke. The irony of it all was laughable - like a running gag in a show accompanied by a soulless laugh track. Maybe, years down the line, Matsuda would have found it funny - that was, if he hadn't had years of his life stolen away from him.

All that effort they'd put into chasing Light's tail as he pointed them in the complete opposite direction. Those seven painstakingly long years when Matsuda could have been making a name for himself in the police force, helping people who genuinely needed someone to administer justice. All of it had been a complete and utter waste.

He had followed the false L with a veil over his eyes, trusted his words and abided by it like gospel, allowing himself to be led on a wild goose chase with a finish line that kept moving back. The Kira task force had been caught in Light's web of lies and, with great patience, he steadily wound them tighter - spinning the narrative around and around until they all became dizzy, and he lunged for the kill.

Light, oh so brilliant Light, had finessed them so goddamn perfectly!

The growing frustration the men shared at their inability to identify any new suspects after years of investigating was shoved down, brushed off, and transformed into a motivating drive whenever Light spoke. Those heartfelt, determined speeches he gave about bringing Kira to justice never failed to evoke a sense of overwhelming pride in Matsuda's heart. But the sweetness of his words only helped to mask the taste of cyanide. Bit by bit, they'd all grown susceptible to Light's venom to the point they didn't recognise that he had them paralysed.

This nauseating twist of betrayal that caused his chest to ache... is it what Ryuzaki had felt in his final moments? When he passed away in Light's arms, were they cold? His eyes, staring down at the detective... did they look like the eyes of a killer?

Ryuzaki had warned them. Time and time and time again. That bizarre enigma of a man - whom they'd unfairly spurned from their very first meeting - had spoken nothing but the truth, but none of them wanted to hear it. Because how could Light - kind, wilful, perfect Light - ever commit such heinous crimes? And why would they trust this strange, foreign man who seemed to only have his own interests in mind?

Hindsight was such a cruel thing - like rubbing salt into the open wound. They should have listened to him. Should have...

Matsuda had become a shell of himself since that day at the warehouse. All that hopeful optimism that he was known for had melted away into a sludge of pessimism and misery. Looking into the mirror that morning, dressed in a shade of black which almost rivalled the dark circles beneath his eyes, the man couldn't even recognise himself.

He felt like a fool. No, worse, he felt like a traitor. Not only to his country and his badge, but to every innocent person that had to die at the hands of Kira. Especially his beloved Chief, who'd placed so much faith into his young subordinate. A kind man who had died surrounded by the fools who'd condemned him, and the son who'd deceived them all.

He should have done better. He should've picked up on Light's actions and little comments sooner. Near exposed them to the exact same truths that his predecessor had disclosed to them also. If they'd just trusted Ryuzaki all those years ago, who knows how many lives could have been saved?

Hopeless, useless, stupid Matsuda—

Heh. Ryuzaki had called him that too, hadn't he? Stupid. Bonehead. Idiot.

Matsuda remembers being insulted at the time but, now, he realised it was just another example of the detective pointing out the truth. He was an idiot. He'd been a blind and gullible imbecile that had made it far too easy for Light to manipulate him. Reflecting on all of his interactions with that man - recalling the moments where he genuinely thought he'd found a friend in his leader - Matsuda knew now that Light had been mocking him the entire time.

But there wasn't much point dwelling on the past now. The damage was done. The dead could not be brought back. And Light - the tyrant, the liar, the false L - did not deserve even one single iota of his grief.

But still, dressed all in black, warmed by that glorious midday sun, Matsuda wept over an empty grave for a man he'd never truly known.

A/N

SO this is my first standalone oneshot because I love torturing angsty, depressed heroes. Poor baby Matsuda. You shall face eternal misery at the hands of cruel fanfic authors.

I kinda hate this, kinda don't. Meh. Either way, have at it, readers!

Some things to note about this oneshot:

• I like to think an autopsy wasn't performed on Light due to the sensitive circumstances of his death (wanting to keep Kira's identity a total secret to the public) so they simply assumed Matsuda's gunshots had killed him. Didn't really matter at the end of the day... he was dead, and they were going to lie about the circumstances of his death anyway so why even bother to check his cause of death? Ngl I just really wanted another reason for Matsuda to feel sad and guilty to be honest.

• It doesn't translate as well into English but Death Note makes a pretty big deal over the spelling of Light's name. The kanji 夜神月 directly translates to "night god" (Yagami) and "moon/month" (Tsuki - which is specifically meant to be read as Light/Raito... because why not). The writers apparently wanted Light to have a super unique name so there wouldn't be any kids who shared his name and wouldn't consequently get bullied. Pretty sure it backfired as I swear loads of people started naming their babies Light lmao!

• Yes, I used Mitski lyrics for the title. I'm not even sorry.