Ace was pissed. No he was beyond pissed. He had just fucking spent five fucking days fighting Jinbe, won, and then the Whitebeard Pirates had the fucking audacity to dock right on the beach Ace was fighting.

They talked about Ace wanting Whitebeard's head. And while yeah he kinda does, after all he would be the strongest, but he kinda doesn't at the same time. Because he knew Luffy would want to also fight Whitebeard, and he couldn't do that if Ace killed the old man first.

So really Ace was conflicted on what he wanted to do. To kill or not to kill. That was the question.

But he also wanted to take a fucking nap damn it!

So of fucking course his narcolepsy took that moment to kick in. Fucking shitty bullshit is what that was.

So here he was, crawling through the vents on the main Whitebeard ship, as he had woken up in their infirmary at the sound of a closing door. Alone.

'Where the hell did they take my crew mates?' Portgas D. Ace, Captain of the Spade Pirates, thought with fury. He was crawling through a small space, one that had so much fucking dust that he was surprised he wasn't sneezing every other fucking second, and well.

This whole situation stunk. In multiple ways to Sunday.

It honestly didn't take long for him to find some Whitebeard members, but they were talking about boring shit. So he continued. On he went, learning the vent ways as he tried to find information. If anything happened to his crew he would never forgive himself.

It took what probably ended up like three more minutes before Ace finally got something.

"Sooo ya think Fire Fist is still asleep?" Whitebeard Pirate number one asked.

"Eh, probably. He slept like what? Three days already? Heard he had narcolepsy but that's a little too much don't you think?" Whitebeard Pirate number two replied.

Ace was asleep for three days? Fucking hell.

"Well, I mean, he did fight Jinbe. Didn't Haruta find out that it was going on for five days?" Whitebeard Pirate number one continued, forcing Ace to focus.

"Wait he did? No one told me!"

A snort. "Well now you know."

Unfortunately the two's conversation changed after that. The fire Devil Fruit user silently cursed.

He then shimmied away. Luckily for him he soon found himself near Whitebeard's room. Or at least that's what he assumed when he heard Whitebeard himself rumble.

"Don't you worry," Whitebeard spoke, "once Fire Fist joins the crew, the rest will follow."

The teen froze. What.

"I'm not doubting you Pops yoi." Another voice spoke up. Sounded like that guy with the pineapple haircut that Ace heard briefly before his narcolepsy took over. "But honestly I don't like how they're acting yoi. I don't want to say suspicious but…"

"They're not acting like you thought they would?" Whitebeard finished for the man.

There was silence. Pineapple Head probably did something like nod. Ace was tempted to get closer, to see them, but he didn't want to risk it.

"They'll see that this is a fine crew, my son. And they'll see that they would be happy once they become my children too. Just as Fire Fist will be when he becomes my son." Whitebeard said. "But for now it would be best to keep them separated amongst the ships. After all, it wouldn't do well if they left before deciding that it would be best to stay."

A shiver ran down Ace's spine. What the fuck. He heard about Whitebeard taking other pirate crews to join his 'family', but to hear it from the captain himself? It felt. Wrong. Gross.

As much as Ace hated his biological father, he felt like he never needed one. (Okay maybe that was a little bit of a lie. Yes he would like to have his father not be Gol D. Roger, the worst of the worst. But Roger is dead and he couldn't suddenly spring up and go "sorry son I'm changing my ways" or whatever shit he might spew out.) He already had his family, and the Whitebeard's were not joining it. Nor will his crew join them.

And in that moment, of thinking about how his crew wouldn't join, he remembered a word.

Shanghai.

It was something he and Sabo found in a book once. They had stolen it. Inside were information on pirates. Things that the two wanted, no - needed, to know for when they would go out to sea. Shanghai was one of them. He remembered exactly what the book had said.

Shanghai: force (someone) to join a ship lacking a full crew by drugging them or using other underhand means.

Ace pursed his lips.

The Whitebeard Pirates weren't lacking in any means. One could say they were bursting instead. But they were aiming on making the Spade Pirates part of their crew. And they weren't planning on letting them go.

Ace might even be the main hostage in this situation. No. Not might. Whitebeard himself said that once Ace joined the rest would follow.

Portgas D. Ace was not a hostage. Not some sort of wild animal forced into being a tame pet. He was free. And while he wasn't sure he would become King of the Pirates, but he'll still fight Luffy because that was what they expected, Ace still planned on becoming strong.

Maybe an Emperor of the Seas would better suit him.

Either way, now he also knew where his crew was. Scattered.

They need their captain and like hell he'll leave them.

Bam!

"Fire Fist Ace is missing!" Someone shouted.

Shit.

But also it seriously took them this long to find him?

(Unknowingly, Ace genuinely had some good luck during that time. The nurse that was assigned to watch him had just left to use the restroom before he woke up. That poor nurse unfortunately had the runs after eating a little too much cheesy foods that day. She knew that she was lactose intolerant and yet the dairy… it calls to her like a siren calls to a sailor.)

"Grarararara." Whitebeard belted out. "He'll show himself in time. In the meantime, my sons, go and make your newest brother welcome."

Ace gritted his teeth. Whitebeard wanted him to show up? Oh fuck that. Ace was now going to become a god damned shadow. He'll do his damned best to make sure no one would see a strand of his hair.

What then proceeded was three weeks of pranks and sabotage. It, of course, was all a distraction while Ace began to get his crew back together. They almost gave themselves away, near the end, when they found their ship.

With one final boom of a prank, the Spade Pirates sailed away, having left a giant note to the Whitebeard Pirates.

A drawing of a hand giving the middle finger.

Future me here, this was originally posted on AO3 and I just wanted to quick add into the notes before you read past me's note. Anyways I always hated how Ace joined the Whitebeard Pirates after I found out what happened. I just felt so angry on his behalf you know? Like maybe if Ace joined another way I'd be more okay with it, but now his relationship with the WB Pirates are kinda tainted to me now.

Ngl I did loose steam towards the end. Especially since I wasn't quite sure how Ace would get out of this. Anyways basically I thought "man why isn't there more fics of Ace not joining the Whitebeard Pirates? Especially since they kidnapped him?" Kinda wonder if Whitebeard did want Ace to join him if he knew right away that Ace was Roger's son. As like, petty revenge for Oden. Idk just thinking at this point. So anyways I thought I'd write a oneshot. With some of these thoughts in mind! Hope you liked it!

(Writing a character that swears a lot in a moment is really fun btw. Feel like Ace would be swearing a lot during his assassination days.)

(Also yeah I took the definition of Shanghai straight from the interwebs.)