- CHAPTER III -
"First Date: Caveman's Prehistoric Adventure"
It all started with a simple surge in hormones. The ancient Neanderthals were feeling something new, something exciting and something very risqué. They had a craving for something more than the hunt and gathering which had been their lifeblood to this point.
At first, they weren't really sure what it was they were experiencing. They just knew that something was different and it was making them feel very odd. But then it clicked: It was their newfound sexual awareness.
At first, the ancient Neanderthals were confused and a little embarrassed about their newfound desires. They were unsure how to express them, so instead of talking about it, they simply decided to start experimenting. One Neanderthal decided to grab some stones and rub them together, discovering a rather pleasant feeling. Another Neanderthal decided to try brushing his fur against another, only to find out it felt even better!
As they went along, they developed an increasing sense of curiosity and experimentation. Pretty soon, the Neanderthals were finding any number of ways to explore their newfound sexual awareness. Some of these activities ranged from rubbing and scratching, to tickling, to even exploring each other's most intimate areas.
Sadly, some of these experiments didn't always work out as planned and sometimes ended with a Neanderthal feeling embarrassed and ashamed. However, eventually these experiments started to get better and better and before long, the ancient Neanderthals had developed a wonderful appreciation for the power of human sexuality.
They had risen from the dust and evolved into something more than mere hunters and gatherers. They had found something that fulfilled them in ways that nothing else could.
The ancient Neanderthals had discovered the power of sex.
It might have been quite funny for the Neanderthal to figure out how to extend sexual urges towards the opposite sex. It would probably have been a process of trial and error with lots of mistakes, awkward moments and embarrassing situations.
They would have had to learn about courtship rituals and body language. Plus, it is likely that mating strategies would have varied from group to group, so there must have been plenty of confusion! It would have been an interesting time as they tried to learn the ropes and adapt their behaviour to suit the situation.
The Neanderthals were the first known human species to attempt to understand body language, likely as a way to communicate and socialize. Their efforts to read the body language of their fellow hominids was likely driven by an innate desire to better understand their environment, develop relationships, and express themselves.
Neanderthals used a variety of behaviors to detect and interpret body language, such as looking closely at each other's faces, heads, and eyes; studying the poses and movements of others; and observing potential mates or rivals. They may have also noted facial expressions, gestures, postures, and vocalizations. These observations likely aided the Neanderthals in forming alliances, competing for resources, and avoiding danger.
By carefully studying the body language of the first woman, Neanderthals may have gained insight into her feelings, desires, and intentions. By understanding her facial expressions and gestures, they may have learned how to approach her, the kinds of topics she was interested in, and how to make her comfortable. This knowledge allowed them to better interact with females and form more meaningful relationships.
Although Neanderthals had a limited understanding of body language compared to modern humans, this early attempt to read the body language of their peers enabled them to make quick and informed decisions. As a result, Neanderthals were able to better navigate their environment, compete for resources, and form social bonds.
"Why did the caveman break social bonds? So he could get a date!"
During the early stages of understanding body language and mating calls, early man's escapades consisted of a variety of speculative and often bold methods. Early courtship rituals included hunting, gathering, and ritualized displays of strength and endurance to demonstrate viability as a mate. While male-female relations in the Paleolithic era were largely predatory, many advances had been made in the realm of human communication, such as the advent of spoken languages.
One of the first physical courtship gestures was the use of touch. Early humans would likely have felt their way around each other, exploring their bodies and getting acquainted through touch. Evidence of this can be seen in the cave paintings of primitive tribes.
Early courting rituals also involved the exchange of gifts. Cave man might bring a potential mate something symbolic such as a shell, a rock or a crafted item. He might even share a kill or hunt made specifically to impress his potential partner. In some cases, early humans probably used gestures such as dancing, to the best of their abilities and hand clapping to attract a mate. I believe hurling feeces comes much later and is unrelated to sex and distinct to primate, excluding most of the humans I am aware of.
Tactile communication could be found in early displays of affection such as hugging, holding hands, and kissing. In time, subtle behavioral cues became more nuanced, leading to the development of more complex mating rituals and patterns of behavior.
Though courting rituals changed over time with the advancement of human society and culture, it's clear that the fundamentals of courtship and attraction primitively rooted in body language and vocalizations remain at the heart of all romantic relationships today.
While it is possible for the Neanderthal to possess the capability to speak, records hold no account of any dialect involved. But their brains were a lot like that of modern man, so it would be natural for the early man to understand sign language. Thus, the old finger in a closed fist was born.
The early man was determined to take his first step into the realm of human reproduction, but little did he know that it would be a rocky one!
He approached the woman and with a bang, the woman screamed out in confusion and alarm. The early man, not understanding what he had done wrong and with not a little bit of encouragement from the ol' devil, soon realised that the relationship between the two would never be the same again.
It was a curious sight, to say the least: a creature that was half monkey and half human, with fur covering the majority of its body. It stood tall, but its giant feet and long arms seemed almost comically disproportionate to the rest of it. But there was something strangely endearing about it.