JENNIE
Nashville in the summer wasn't for the faint of heart—the heat and humidity were oppressive. Felix had invited our friends over to hang out by his dada's pool, and when we ran out of beer in the cooler, I volunteered to get the other case from the fridge in the garage. I did it because I needed a break from everyone.
Felix Manoban and I had been together for more than three years and had started dating the summer before our junior year of high school. Since then, we'd done almost everything together. All the school dances. Family vacations. Our first year of college. Hell, our senior class even voted us 'Most Likely to Marry Their High School Sweetheart.'
I'd loved him so much, I'd given him my virginity.
But . . .
Felix had changed. I didn't know if there was a turning point, or a single event that made him different, but he wasn't the sweet, caring guy I'd known. We'd gotten comfortable with each other—maybe too comfortable. He'd tell me anything, including when he thought I looked like I wasn't 'trying' anymore, or acting like a bitch.
It was June now, and we were both home from Vanderbilt University, but I saw my boyfriend less this summer than I did when we were at school. We had jobs, sure. But today he made it clear he was more interested in hanging out with our high school friends than he was with me.
God. We'd been best friends, and now we didn't really talk anymore. No deep conversations, or playful teasing, or anything. Felix only called me when he was horny. That's what I'd become to him.
Jennie Kim—Felix's release valve.
I tucked my phone into my swimsuit top and played my favorite song by Joven as I walked through the house to the garage on the far side of the home. I opened the door and padded down the two steps into the cavernous garage, not bothering with the overhead light. The cement floor was cold on the soles of my bare feet, but the music was awesome, and in the dark space, I tried to let go of my annoyance with Felix. Maybe I was just in a bad mood and needed to shake it off.
I did that.
Literally.
I closed my eyes and danced to the song playing from between my boobs, not caring about the grimy floor, or how I was cold in my damp swimsuit. I tried not to care about anything, and it kind of worked. I swayed my hips to the music. I put my hands in the air and waved them around and couldn't stop the idiotic smile from warming my lips.
It felt good to dance like a fool, lit only by the light coming from the open door to the kitchen. Since I knew every word by heart, I sang along and, as I hit the chorus, I really let go. I swiveled around, swinging my hips as I belted out the lyrics—
A startled sound choked off in my throat as I jerked to a stop.
Dr. Manoban stood in the doorway, and judging by her expression, she'd been there awhile.
I was surprised to see her for a number of reasons, but the biggest was Felix's dada was a trauma surgeon at Davidson County Hospital. She was usually on-call and wasn't around much. She was always there for the things that mattered, like birthdays and graduation, but most of the time, Felix and I were alone in the house.
Why had her dada kept such a big home when her son went off to college? It was strange. Dr. Manoban barely used it.
Felix's dada looked younger than she was, at least in her face. There were faint lines at the sides of her eyes that hinted she was forty, but the lines made her look smart. Distinguished. Her dark brown hair and and the afternoon sunlight coming from the nearby window highlighted the gray. It was a good look.
In the series of pictures we'd taken before our senior prom, there was a shot of Felix and his dada, and my friends drooled over Dr. Manoban. I'd made fun of them, but I understood. My boyfriend's dada wasn't just attractive—she was fucking hot.
But rather than smile at her like I usually did, I went wooden.
Was it possible to die of embarrassment? My knees turned soft, but my spine snapped straight and my face flushed to a thousand degrees. I dropped my gaze to the cement floor and tucked a lock of my long, dark hair behind my ear, trying to play it off like she hadn't just caught me dancing and singing like a crazy idiot.
"Uh . . ." I stammered. I dug the phone out of my top and shut the music off. "I was just getting another case of beer for the—" Shit! What was I doing? Felix's friend Mike was the only one of us who was twenty-one. "I meant Coke."
It was the worst 'save' in the history of 'saves,' and all Dr. Manoban did was chuckle. It was a deep, pleasant sound that filled the spacious garage. It drew my gaze up to her. She had her hands resting casually on the sides of the door frame, and her expression was faint amusement.
But sge blinked it away and straightened. "Felix sent you to get his beer?"
I shrugged, pulled the fridge open, and stared at the nearly empty shelves. At least the cold air coming from the open refrigerator calmed my heated face. "I offered."
The cardboard creaked when I grabbed the case's handle and lifted the twenty-four pack off the shelf. I tried to focus on the heft in my hand and not the woman in the doorway, since it was the second time this summer she'd caught me.
The second time she'd seen me doing something she shouldn't have.
Oh my God, don't think about it.
Lord knew I'd spent enough nights fantasizing about that day, so I plastered on an indifferent expression and lugged the beer toward the door. Every step brought us closer, and yet Dr. Manoban didn't move. Her maple brown eyes sharpened on mine until I pulled to a stop. She was blocking me.
"Are things okay with you two?" she asked, full of concern.
I nearly dropped the case in surprise. Felix seemed oblivious to the divide growing between us. How the heck did his dada see it?
"We're . . ." I wasn't sure what to say, or how to say it. "I think it's school. It got us out of sync."
Dr. Manoban nodded slowly. Felix had struggled with his new freedom as a college freshman, and he'd found going to class on a regular basis a challenge. His grades hadn't been good, and it was a sore spot between him and his dada.
I forced myself to brighten. "I'm sure we'll be fine."
Her expression didn't change. She looked at me funny, like she was worried or upset, or as if she didn't believe me. But she nodded once more and stepped back to let me pass. I was halfway through the kitchen before he spoke.
"Jennie." Her voice was quiet, yet strong. "I don't know if I ever said it, but thank you for everything you did with Felix."
Confusion made me slam on the brakes. "What?"
Dr. Manoban shifted on her feet, visibly uncomfortable. "When he came to Nashville, it was hard on him. You made it easier." She balled her fists, set them on the kitchen island, and leaned forward, pressing her knuckles into the granite. "You made him a better person, and I'm grateful."
The cardboard was cold as I clutched the case closer to my body, stunned.
Growing up had been complicated for my boyfriend. Felix's parents had him young and never married, and he didn't talk much about why he'd lived with his mother in North Carolina until he was sixteen.
I didn't know what kind of relationship he'd had with his dada before he arrived in Nashville, but it sounded nonexistent. The story I'd pried out was he'd been hanging around with a group of kids his mother was scared of, and like the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air, she'd shipped him off to live with his dada, determined to keep him away from their bad influence.
When Felix and I started dating, we both joked it was because I was the first girl who was nice to the new kid in town. My smart, somewhat nerdy friends became his friends, and eventually, his mother's plan seemed to work.
I squeezed the beer in my arms, not sure how to respond to Dr. Manoban's gratitude. What was I supposed to say? You're welcome? "That's really nice, but I didn't do anything."
A faint smile lifted at the corner of Dr. Manoban's lips and spread wider as she spoke. "Well, I'm thankful either way. Sorry about interrupting whatever that was you were doing a minute ago."
Her light teasing brought on fresh embarrassment, and I pulled my shoulders back. "Hey, I couldn't help it. I really like Joven."
"I agree they're good, but they don't," her smile widened, "give me seizures."
"Ha, ha," I said in a flat tone. "I'll have you know I'm normally a great dancer. I didn't know anyone was around." I shot her a pointed look.
She lifted her hands in mock surrender, but her smile didn't fade. "Well, I don't really have room to talk." She hooked her thumbs back at herself. "World's Worst Dancer right here."
"I don't know. Your son might have you beat."
Felix spent most of the school dances hanging out on the side of the dancefloor. Whenever he did dance, it was like he was mimicking those inflatable windsock men outside of used car dealerships—all flailing arms and spastic hips.
As I left Felix's dada and went down the stairs to the basement, I couldn't shake the feeling she'd given me. A warm tingling in my chest that felt all sorts of wrong, but good too.
It was two more weeks with Felix before I reached my breaking point.
As I sat in my sweltering car, parked in the Manoban driveway, grief swept through me. I mourned the death of our relationship. I missed the guy I'd loved, but knew he was never coming back.
My grandmother passed away last week, but Felix didn't come to the funeral. He'd had to work, he said—which was fine. But he didn't come to the visitation either. He didn't stand beside me or hold my hand as I'd cried while staring at the casket. He'd left me on my own to field the incessant question from my family, "Where's Felix?"
"Sick," I'd lied.
I found out from our mutual friends he'd forgotten and gone to the movies. That made it obvious how little I mattered now.
A frustrated sigh slipped out as I reached across the seat and snatched up my backpack. I'd brought a swimsuit and towel over, knowing I was going to need to work up to the moment I told him it was over between us. I'd never broken up with someone before.
I didn't ring the bell. I climbed the front steps and pushed open the unlocked door, comfortable walking into the Manoban house unannounced. Would this be the last time I did it?
The wind sucked the door shut behind me with a loud slam, and heavy footsteps pounded on the hardwood floor until his dada stepped into view.
"Jennie?" The momentary confusion on her beautiful face was replaced with an easy smile.
I froze in place. "Hey, Dr. Manoban. Didn't he tell you I was coming over?"
She shook her head. "I think he's in the pool already."
"Oh. Okay." I headed toward the door to the basement, but only made it a few paces before the toe of my sandal caught the edge of the entryway rug. "Ah!"
Like an idiot, I stumbled forward on shaky legs, fighting not to go down, and instead tumbled right into Dr. Manoban.
She grunted softly as I collided with her chest. I knocked her back a half-step, but then her steady hands locked onto my waist. Embarrassment flickered through me, but as I lifted my flustered gaze to her, the emotion burned away.
Oh.
The sensation of her hands on my body made my breath catch in my throat.
There'd been concern for my near-fall in her expression seconds ago, but it evaporated as her hold on me tensed. Something gathered in her brown eyes—something that looked a hell of a lot like heat. The muscles running along her jaw tightened and flexed.
I had to be imagining it. There was no way she was looking at me like she was thinking about sliding her hands around my back and drawing me closer. My body hummed from the contact, and the buzz grew louder and more frantic the longer we remained motionless.
Her embrace put me far more off-balance than tripping on the rug had.
We were standing too close, but she was magnetic. The pull toward her was a force I struggled to overcome, even when I knew I had to.
Her voice came out strange and uneven. "Are you all right?"
"Yeah," I breathed. Why hadn't I noticed how deep and beautiful her eyes were before?
Abruptly, she released me, her hands coming off my waist as if I were a hot stove. Shame flashed through her expression and then it went blank. "Sorry."
She turned and strode quickly away, leaving me to stare at her broad back as she went. What was she sorry for? Keeping me from falling? Touching me? Or the way se'd stared at me like Felix used to, with a gaze that teemed with desire?
I'd had impure thoughts about Dr. Manoban before. I couldn't help myself and tried not to feel guilty about them. They were just harmless fantasies, I'd justified, and were kept safe in my own mind. Any shame over thinking about my boyfriend's dada was about to be moot anyway.
Outside, the stone patio led to the shady back yard and the bright blue pool was surrounded by a decorative black, wrought-iron fence. The pool wasn't enormous, but nicely proportional to the sprawling home. It was large enough for either of the Manoban's to swim laps if they wanted, which Felix appeared to be doing now.
He must have sensed my arrival because he stopped mid-stroke, pushed his wet, dark hair back out of his eyes, and flicked the water away with his fingers. He stared at me and raised an eyebrow.
"You're not in your suit?" No greeting. Just his annoyed tone.
"I've got it in my bag." I glanced over at the empty lounger at the side of the pool. Maybe I should tell him I didn't want to swim, sit down there, and find my way into the difficult conversation we needed to have.
He swam to the edge and propped his arms on the stone ledge. "Get your sexy ass changed, then. It's hot as balls out here, and the water's great."
It felt like an order. I bit my bottom lip as I tried to muster the courage to say no.
But I failed miserably. I turned around and went back into the house, stalling. I plodded through the large media room and into the spare bedroom Dr. Manoban used as her home gym. The only other rooms downstairs were the bedroom Felix used while home from college, and the bathroom, both of which were disasters. He left his clothes everywhere, and it was easier to change in here.
Calling this room a home gym was probably too fancy. It had a treadmill and an all-in-one weight machine. The futon Felix used mostly as a couch at college was pushed to one corner, and I dropped my bag on it with a sigh.
As I changed, I reminded myself of my goal. I wasn't happy with my boyfriend, but that didn't mean I wanted to hurt him. I hoped to break up with him in the least painful way for both of us.
I stacked my clothes on the futon, grabbed a beach towel out of the hall closet, and forced myself back outside.
His gaze lifted to me, and he blinked. Then his eyes hazed as he scanned my body, clad in a simple, black string bikini. "Is that new?"
My mouth went dry. What had I been thinking, bringing this swimsuit? I hadn't been, really. I'd grabbed the first thing that would work and had shoved it in my bag. Wearing the bikini had been a bad idea.
"It was on sale at Target," I croaked.
His expression was thick with lust as he pushed off the side. "I like it." He swirled his hands beneath the water, floating closer to me and the shallow end. "C'mon in."
Felix's intentions couldn't have been more obvious if he'd tried. He wanted to fuck. Was it the only reason he'd called me over? I hurled the beach towel down onto the lounge chair and twisted my dark brown hair up into a bun. I didn't want to get it wet, because it'd take forever to dry, and I might need to leave in a hurry if things became too emotional.
Reluctantly, I went to the stairs at the front of the pool and took my first step into the water. I only made it halfway down before his cold, wet arms were wrapped around my body, and he was pulling me deep into the center of the pool.
"Wait," I said with forced casualness, struggling against his embrace. I wanted to get in under my terms, and I didn't want him so close. I needed distance to do what had to be done.
Whatever disconnect was going on between us, it seemed to get wider every time we were together, and Felix ignored my protest. His mouth crashed against the side of my neck, planting kisses. It'd always been the surefire move to turn me on, the fastest way to get in my pants, but things had changed between us, and this was one of them.
"Felix," I said, pushing away and finally getting out of his hold.
He turned and looked up at the huge arched windows on the back of the house, then focused on me. "What? Are you worried about my dada? She doesn't care what we do."
Oh, God. A shiver ran through me, but since most of my body was underwater, it was unlikely my boyfriend could see it.
Like a fool, the first weekend home from school I'd tried to bring Felix back to me and used the only tool I could think of—sex. The back yard beyond the fence was surrounded by woods, so no one could see us as we went skinny-dipping in the middle of the day. There weren't people around to witness how he'd set me down on the thick cushion of the lounger, knelt between my parted legs, and thrust inside me.
I'd let him fuck me while I thought no one was watching, but I'd been wrong. As Felix's tempo increased, I'd turned my head to the side and saw a figure at the window.