With You

Chapter One: The Friendly Phone Call

Elena Gilbert

After the paramedics had left, the one and only coroner's service in all of Mystic Falls quickly followed. Bonnie couldn't face seeing them wheel her grandmother out of the house she'd lived in for the last fifty years. So while Bonnie headed down the hall and to the kitchen, I remained in the bedroom so that her grandmother wouldn't be alone. I knew grief, and I knew Bonnie would hate herself for leaving when she did, but knowing someone was with her grandmother to the end would, in time, bring her a small measure of comfort in the days to come.

The voices of strangers are simply white noise when experiencing grief. The two coroners were talking now amongst themselves about how they would be transferring the body from the bed to the trolley, but I couldn't bear to listen. So much had happened tonight, and I, like many others, was surprised they could still stand up. I could hear one thing: the distant sounds of Bonnie crying all the way down the hall.

I felt my own heart tighten in my chest as my ears rang and my throat dried up. I didn't know what to say to her; I knew I could hug her and bring her comfort, but the words weren't there, and I knew they were needed. If it wasn't for Bonnie and her grandmother, I wouldn't even be here right now. I couldn't even imagine what could have resulted tonight if not for their help.

Ever since meeting Stefan, I have asked more of my friends over the past few months than I have in all the years before. I wondered if Bonnie even knew that I blamed myself for her grandmother's death. I knew deep down, from the second Bonnie told me her grandmother wasn't waking up, that she was gone. Something cold ran through my body the second I reached for the phone to call the ambulance.

My friends and their loved ones had endured so much, and for what cause? so that I could be with Stefan? So that I could find some measure of happiness after feeling so incredibly numb for so long? I knew deep down, in my heart, that I was in love with Stefan, and it was something completely different from what I had had with Matt. But was this new love worth all this pain?

We had fallen in love, and my friends and family were all suffering for it. This isn't what I wanted for them; I wanted them to be happy. I loved my friends; I smiled when they smiled; I hurt whenever I saw tears in their eyes; and now I was responsible for their pain and grief.

When the coroners finished, they had me sign something for them. I don't even know how I managed to considering the mess I had gotten myself into. I was trembling all over; my body had finally run out of adrenaline, and the reality of the events that had transpired from escaping the model room that morning to the tomb and now at the house was finally sinking in.

I had to calm myself; I couldn't be a mess in front of Bonnie. Despite the chill in the air, I remained outside until I pulled myself together.

When I did eventually find my way to the sitting room, I found Bonnie sitting on the edge of the coffee table on the phone. After listening for a minute, I concluded she was speaking to her dad and telling him what had happened. The story was that her grandmother had been watching television with her and had told Bonnie she wanted to go to bed early; afterwards, when Bonnie came to check on her, she was gone.

I wanted to sit with her, to put my arm over her shoulder, and just be there with her in her pain. But not knowing if she wanted me there made me pause. I wouldn't blame her if she hated me or blamed me for the events leading to her grandmother's death. Bonnie was my best friend, and I loved her, but it wasn't enough to fix what had happened here tonight.

There was no fixing what had happened.

Katherine Pierce wasn't even in the tomb, and she was the only reason we risked going in there tonight. I could still smell the stench of the tomb lingering on my clothes, and it reeked; it was in my hair and under my nails. I couldn't even describe how it smelled; all I knew was that I wouldn't forget it anytime soon.

How could Katherine have done this to Damon? I know I didn't know her, but from the stories I had heard from Stefan, I guess I shouldn't be surprised that she wasn't there. It seemed to me that she had one priority, and that was herself.

If she had seen Damon tonight and the pain he'd endured, would she have even blinked? Did she even love him?

I didn't know where Damon had taken off from after he left the woods; he just took off in a blur before I could tell him how sorry I was. He didn't even look at Stefan after I let him go; he just kept his eyes on the ground. I'd seen Damon look happy, smug, and drunk, but I'd never seen him like that. He wasn't even in there; he was a shell, and who could blame him? He had waited and waited for her, probably thought about her every night, hoped she wasn't cold, and that she was just sleeping and out of danger.

I backed up slowly out of the sitting room before Bonnie noticed me. I would probably be spending the night here with her, or we would go back to her house to sleep. But I knew there was something I had to do before going to sleep tonight.

I made my way down the hallway, past the hanging photographs showing all the events of Sheila's life. I cut through the small kitchen and let myself out the back door, not slowing my pace until I reached the back of the yard. Sheila always kept the garden nice, as had her husband. She didn't grow many flowers, but she did grow many vegetable patches, and I could smell lavender lingering in the crisp night air. When I was far enough away from the house, I reached into the back pocket of my jeans and retrieved my cell phone. I didn't have Damon listed in my contacts, but I did have his phone number saved on my phone. Stefan said that in an extreme emergency, I could reach out for Damon if I couldn't reach him. I told him I wouldn't need the number, but he insisted.

As I brought it up to my ear and it began to ring, I regretted calling him immediately. It was going to be nothing more than another missed call notification.

But then again, Damon always did like to surprise people.

"What is it?" Damon asked softly, like I had woken him from a peaceful sleep.

"I don't know," I finally said after allowing a moment of silence to pass between us.

He didn't say anything, much to my relief, and allowed me to gather my thoughts.

"I just wanted to check if you were alright," I told him, but began shaking my head. "That's a lie." I know you're not okay, and I just-" I sigh, hearing myself ramble.

"I just thought I should call."

"Why?"

"We're friends" I remind him, "In some small way, we are; you don't save someone's life if there's nothing to save."

Damon remains silent, and I understand.

"This is friendship," I told him.

Damon didn't say anything, but I could hear him breathing. I wondered if I had gone too far and pushed past that hidden line Damon had within him that no one, not even Stefan, was allowed to see beyond.

"Goodnight Elena"

With that, Damon ended the call.

He never told Stefan. I had called him, and we never spoke about it again.