Anastasia

As I pull into Escala's garage, I can feel my heart beating hard against my chest. I really don't know what the fuck is happening. I am so out of my comfort zone. I don't really understand their true intentions and there is a large part of me that feels like they're taking advantage of the fact that I'm young and naive. I'm terrified of that. How do I walk away with my dignity intact if they take what they want and throw me away? How can I ever face them again?

If what they're saying is true and they both truly want to get to know me, how does that work? Do I have to keep tabs on the amount of time I spend with each one so that it's fair? Am I supposed to just bounce from one bed to the next? What do we say to the family? I'd be their dirty little secret. This kind of thing is definitely not normal, right?

Christian is at my door as soon as I park and opens it for me. Offering me his hand, I slip out and he grabs my keys with his opposite hand.

"What are you doing?"

"Making sure you don't run while I'm sleeping." He entwines our fingers and pulls me toward the elevator. My hand feels so small in his that it gives me butterflies. He always gives me butterflies.

"Are you kidnapping me?" I'm half worried he won't let me go.

"Don't be silly. You may go whenever you feel the need, but I'll be aware when it happens. I hated waking up alone."

I frown. It makes my heart ache knowing I made him feel like that. "I'm sorry."

He hits the call button and the doors immediately open. "I've already forgiven you, Sugar. Just don't do it again."

"I won't."

He gives me a soft smile when the doors close. "Come here." He pulls my hand towards him and I step towards him, my palm resting against his torso. Leaning in, he kisses me. "I've been waiting all day for that."

A slow smile forms on my face and I look down.

"As much as I love when you're shy, I don't want you that way with me, Anastasia." His palm finds my cheek and he tilts my head so he can press another kiss to my lips. "You're my girl. I want you comfortable with me."

My heart skips a beat at his words. Jeez. His girl, huh? I chew my lip. "That might take some time."

"I understand." With a ding, the elevator opens and he ushers me into his apartment, towards his bedroom. Suddenly, I'm terrified.

"Woah, wait. Just... wait a second." I hate that he looks confused and disappointed. "I still want to, I just need a second."

"Okay. It's okay." He cups my face. "Remember, you're in charge. I might be demanding but you make the decisions. How about some wine? It's been a long day. We'll sit on the couch and talk a bit."

I nod. "Yea. That sounds good." I hope he isn't disappointed that we're not jumping into bed like I mentioned earlier, but I kind of got cold feet.

I watch him as he navigates through his kitchen, pulling out two wine glasses before going to the fridge to pull out a bottle of white wine. He's still in his light blue swim shorts and white t-shirt. I haven't seen him look so relaxed in such a long time... probably since I was in high school. My nose crinkles at the thought. It makes me feel so immature compared to him. He's independent, wealthy, and driven and I'm still living at my father's house while I just find a job.

"Here, Sugar." I blink and realize he's holding out my wine glass.

"Oh, thank you."

"If this is too much too fast, it's alright. We can talk another night." He looks genuinely worried for me. "I know we've thrown a lot at you. I told Elliot we should have waited."

"No, I'm okay. There's just a lot going on in my head."

He nods and offers me his hand. "Come, let's talk."

When we get to his fabric couches, I still. "I'm full of sunscreen and dried sweat. Maybe I should shower first."

"Anastasia. Sit."

I plop down, making him smirk and I giggle into my wine glass. "Why do I have to like you all growly and bossy?"

He quirks an eyebrow. "That might be something you need to ask your therapist."

My head falls back in a laugh. This whole situation would make a therapist's head spin. I slip off my flip flops and fold my legs under me while I shake my head. "Better not open that can of worms."

There's entertainment in his eyes when he takes a sip of his wine. "Tell me how you're feeling after Wednesday night."

"Um... fine?" I don't know what he expects me to say.

"Are you regretful?" The look of worry on his face breaks my heart.

"No, Christian. I'm not. Truth be told, I'm pretty happy with myself." I laugh and shake my head. It sounds so stupid.

"Okay?" He laughs. "Why?"

"Because," I lick my lips, "I spent years having this devastating crush on you and then end up scoring with you." I wince. "That sounds terrible. I don't mean-"

He laughs. "I like that you scored. Now... this crush... when did it start?"

I take a gulp of my wine. Liquid courage. "Since puberty hit, probably. Truth be told you were the first boy I thought of during..." I wave my hand over my groin, "Well, you know."

His smirk is still on his face and my face is so damn hot, I'm sweating. I can't believe I'm admitting all of this to him, but his ego is eating it all up.

"No, I don't think I do." He teases.

"Christian...!" His name comes out as a whine while I hide my face in my hands.

"Tell me." His arms wrap around me and he pulls me into him, pulling my leg so I straddle his lap. Jesus, he's hard. "Tell me what you used to day dream about when you thought of me. What did you do to yourself, wishing it was me?"

I hide my face in his neck while his hands run up and down my back over my white bathing suit cover up. "Did you wish it was my hand when you would touch yourself? Did you use these fingers to tickle your clit until you'd come? Or did you hump your pillow and stuffed animals?" He brings my hand up to his mouth and kisses my fingers.

I'm going to die of embarrassment. This is how it ends. Anastasia Rose dead. At twenty-two. Because her crush of twelve years asked how she used to masturbate to him.

"I should have never said anything."

"Why? I want to know everything about you... especially when it includes me. Don't be embarrassed. Everyone masturbates. I'm honored to be your first. Then and now. I've masturbated to you too many times to count.

My head shoots up so I can look at him. I don't believe him, but he looks serious. "What? When?"

He gives me his dimples and I swoon a little, relaxing into him while his hands rest on my bare thighs under my cover up. "Ever since you came in one night with the girls after going to a club you all were too young for. You had on a short red dress and sky high black stilettos and gave me this devastatingly beautiful smile that had me hard in seconds."

"I forgot about that! I borrowed that dress from Kate. I guess I have worn red." We were probably nineteen then. We got fake ID's that we paid an IT major at school to print.

"Yes. I like you in red."

Now it makes sense.

I giggle. "I still have that fake ID. It was a terrible one. It showed I was twenty-eight. Still got in though."

"You could have gotten in without an ID that night." He squeezes my thighs. "You were stunning. You are stunning."

The butterflies swirl around again at his words. The pretty words are enough for me to throw caution to the wind and I kiss him. His hands come up to cup my face and he tilts my head, deepening the kiss. I moan. I've never been kissed like Christian kisses me. He takes control of my mouth and my soul just submits to him. My body molds to his and I roll my hips into his hard-on.

"I'm ready." I pull away just long enough to let him know before I dive back in.

I squeak against his mouth when he stands so easy and carries me off to the bedroom. His strength is so damn sexy. He acts like I don't weigh more than a feather.

XxXxXx

I try to keep the blush off my face as Christian helps me into the bubble bath he ran after our romp in the sheets, but again, I'm nervous. Sex with him tonight was so much better than the first time. It still stung a little at first but he went in much easier and it felt so good, I ended up coming without him even touching my clit. I've heard Mia and Kate complain that men expect women to have orgasms just with intercourse alone, but it's not truly a thing. Well, Christian proved them wrong! I don't know if it's because I'm sensitive or if it's because he's just huge, but I will consider myself lucky.

"Come. Rest against me and relax." Christian has sunk into the bath across from me in the big tub. He offers me his hand again and I reach for it, letting him help pull me over. I feel so awkward trying not to slosh the water around while I turn and lean up against him.

"So bashful." His thumb runs over my cheek. "Like you hadn't just come all over my cock ten minutes ago."

"Oh, my god." I cover my face with my hands and he lets out a soft laugh.

"You're adorable, Sugar." He begins to massage my shoulders and my body quickly begins to relax.

"I was just going to remark how romantic this bubble bath is until you said that."

He kisses the skin behind my earlobe. "You like when I talk dirty."

I look back at him. "And how would you know that?"

"Let me check between your legs."

Even though I know there is no way he could tell after what we just did, my legs clamp shut and I duck my head. My ears are on fire from my flush. I need to just come to terms with the fact that my flush is going to be constant with this man.

I jostle a little when he lets out a belly laugh and he hugs me against him, kissing my temple. I can't help my grin. His laugh warms me from the inside out. I feel light and happy that I can make him laugh like that... even if it's at my own expense.

"Don't worry, Sugar. I know you're sore. I'll let you recover a little."

I bite my lip. "Like an hour?"

He groans and nips at my neck. "I've created a monster, haven't I?"

I giggle. "You've kidnapped me and taken my keys. I'm going to get all the D I can in the meantime."

"You've got an appetite, kitten. It might really take both of us to satisfy you."

I clench my jaw, my anxiety rising at the thought. I'm still trying to get comfortable with Christian and he's reminding me that Elliot is looking to get me into bed, too. Relax, Steele.

Keeping up the teasing, I ask him if that means he can't keep up.

He sucks hard on the junction between my shoulder and neck and I let out a moan, pleasure shooting straight between my legs. "I never said that." He kisses my shoulder once more. "We do need to talk about this though."

He moves me so I'm turned sideways in his lap and I pull my legs up against me so I can snuggle into him while he holds me. I hate how much I love this. I've never had intimacy like this, but it's doing things to my heart that I shouldn't let it.

"How do you feel about this? I know you have feelings for Elliot, but is this what you want? You don't have to do this. You aren't being forced to be with both of us."

I smirk. "That's easy for you to say considering you've been the one fucking me."

He frowns. "I meant it for either of us. If I've forced you to-"

"No, no. That's not what I meant." I kiss him, hoping to ease the confusion. "I love what we've done. I don't want to stop."

His shoulders relax and he gives me a soft grin. "Me, too."

Running my index finger across his clavicle bone, I think. I do like Elliot, but I'm not sure I'm ready to just hop into bed with him. With Christian, it happened organically. This feels forced.

"I do like Elliot and I'm open to a date or two if that's what he wants. I just don't want to be pressured on the whole sex thing. It just sort of happened with us and I want it to be natural with him too. I don't want him to expect sex as soon as I agree to go on a date."

"Elliot and I talked a lot about you and this relationship we'd have with you and he understands that. He only takes willing women to bed. He won't expect or force anything until you give the green light."

I nod. It's super weird that they sat and talked about how they're going to share me, but I guess it's what had to be done for them to come to an agreement. "How does this work?" I keep my eyes on his chest, unable to look at him. "Do I just take turns and keep track on who I saw last? Do you only want to see me when we fall into bed? Can we hang out together? And if we do, is there any PDA or do we stick to our corners? Do-"

"Slow down, Sugar. Let me answer."

I look up at him and nod.

"You really think I just want you for sex? That I don't care to see you outside of the bedroom?"

I shrug. "I don't know how you work. In bed might be all the time you have for this."

He growls. "That's bullshit. You deserve more than that. I want to give you more than that. I've already made brunch plans for us tomorrow and then I thought we could stop by the art museum."

My heart swells. "Really? I love the art museum."

He gives me his dimples. "I know. Now... back to your concerns. We don't expect you to keep track of who you spend your time with. It's so important to keep things organic. We want you relaxed around us. We will regularly be spending time together as the three of us. Neither of us are going to want to be away from you long enough for you to split your time. That being said, that doesn't mean there won't be times that you'll have time alone with each one of us. We'll both want time with you where you attention is completely on one of us. When we're together just be natural. Neither one of us is going to complain if you want a little affection. We can both show you attention when we're together."

"You two won't get jealous? I don't want to upset either one of you. I don't want to ruin anything between you. No woman is worth breaking brothers up."

His hands roam over my back and hips. "No, not like that. If something comes up, we'll work through it, but it isn't your problem. Your job is to let things come naturally and don't hold back. I would hate for you to deny yourself something because you're worried to hurt our feelings."

"What about the whole sex thing? How does that work?"

"It works however you want it to. If you only want sex with us when we're separate, that's fine, but if you want us together, that's fine, too."

I shiver. "Wha-wha-how?"

He chuckles. "Have you never watched porn before? We could take turns while the other watched or you could use your mouth while one of us fucked you... or... if you're up for it... we could each take a side and you could be sandwiched between us."

"Holy shit."

"We're not forcing anything on you. I don't want to scare you away."

"You-you'd be okay with that? Watching me having sex with someone else?"

"No one, but Elliot. You're ours and only ours. As long as you were getting your pleasure, it's a turn on. We're here for you... and listening and watching you in complete pleasure? Yes. I am okay with that. You deserve it."

"Jeez. You know exactly what to say, don't you?" I turn to straddle his hips and kiss him. "I want you, Christian. I want you to be the one that gives me pleasure. Right now."

His head falls back in a groan and I enjoy watching his adams apple bobb when he swallows. He lifts his head back up. "Sink down, baby. I'll help."

"Here?" I grin. "I like that." I like that he doesn't care to wait. He doesn't mind taking me right in the middle of a bubble bath. I still have questions, of course, but they're going to wait. I still don't know if I'm going to be their dirty little secret around our families or if this a long term thing or if their plan is to use me and throw me away when they get bored. Right now, I don't care. I just want to be with Christian. And I want to go on a date with Elliot. Once we're sated and clean, I've decided to text Elliot a big yes.

A part of me knows this is going to blow up in my face, but I'm too far gone. I won't step away from Christian and I want to know Elliot better. I might end up battered and broken, but I'm going to enjoy the ride.