When the Going Gets Tough, the Bradys Are History
By Joe
Summary: A meteorite crashes in the backyard of the Brady residence – causing strange age-reversing effects around the property. This story was requested by retro mania.
Author Notes: I do not own The Brady Bunch, its characters, or any other copyrighted material. I wrote this solely for entertainment purposes and not to make a profit.
Also, as of February 2023, I respectfully ask that users not make any new requests of me until further notice. I have a backlog of projects that I have been trying to finish, and since 2021, it has seemed that I keep getting new requests when uploading new stories, so it naturally makes it hard to make any progress on old, unfinished projects. Thank you.
Chapter 1
Beneath the orange glow of an evening sky, the citizens of the Los Angeles metropolitan area were all spending their weekend doing different things. Many young adults visited drive-in theaters and nightclubs while middle-aged adults were content to just stay at home with their families after working hard all week. Also, the children enjoyed their time off from school – watching TV or playing sports outdoors. No other family in the metropolitan area better exemplified this behavior than a certain Santa Monica family – one consisting of a lovely lady, a man named Brady, their housekeeper, and six children from previous marriages.
On this beautiful Saturday evening, within the walls of their modest split-level house, Mike Brady and his wife, Carol, took turns hitting a golf ball into a cup in the spacious living room. Greg, the oldest of Mike's three dark-haired sons, had been out of the house for the past few hours – going on a date with his girlfriend – Rachel. Peter and the youngest son, Bobby, were in the backyard – tossing a football back and forth and running across the AstroTurf lawn. Marcia, the oldest of Carol's three blonde daughters, was in the kitchen – talking on the phone with one of her friends. Jan, the middle child, was sitting on a stool – painting still life of a bowl of fruit in the adjacent family room. Sharing the room with Jan was the youngest child, Cindy, who was watching TV. Alice, the middle-aged housekeeper, was spending the night with her fiancé – butcher Sam Franklin.
This evening seemed a lot like just about any other late summer weekend for the Bradys. It was especially enjoyable because, a few hours earlier, Mike had cooked some delicious steaks outdoors. As they tossed their football, Peter and Bobby could still smell remnants of the smoke in the air. Bobby smiled and licked his lips. He could almost still taste his steak from earlier when he jumped at the sound of some kind of explosion.
Peter apparently was so jarred by the sound that he stumbled backwards and landed on the ground – and got hit in the head with the football. "Oh my gosh!" cried Peter. "What was that?"
Both Bobby and he started trembling as they looked left and right. However, they didn't see anything that could have caused an explosion. The initial panic having worn off, Bobby rushed over to his brother and helped him stand. "Thanks, Bobby," thanked Peter.
Bobby stared at Peter with fear in his eyes. "What do you think that was?" he asked his older brother.
Peter shrugged. "I don't know. I hope that it's not the beginning of an earthquake."
"Earthquake?" cried Bobby.
"I didn't say that it was!" exclaimed Peter. "Look, we'd better get Mom and Dad."
Just then, Jan walked outside – donning a smock stained with an assortment of colors. Peter and Bobby turned to look at their sister. "Hey, did you guys hear that?" Jan asked with a hint of fear in her voice.
"You mean that explosion?" Peter asked.
"Yeah!" Jan replied. "What was that?"
"We don't know!" Bobby cried. "But Peter thinks that it might be an earthquake."
"Oh, I sure hope not," Jan said.
Then, Marcia came outside – followed by Cindy, Mike, and Carol. "Did you guys hear that?" Mike asked in concern. His sons nodded. "Do you know what it was?"
"No, but it could be the beginning of an earthquake," Peter said hesitantly.
Mike ran his fingers through his curly brown hair and stared at the ground. "That's what I was afraid of." He then looked at Carol – his eyes widening in horror. "Worst of all, Greg's not back yet! And Alice!"
"Oh dear, I hope they're okay!" Carol said – her voice quivering.
Mike pulled Carol in for a hug and stroked her blonde head. "I hope so, too," he said. "But fortunately, I think that they can handle themselves." Mike then looked at everyone else outside. "Okay, everybody, we'd better get inside before – "
Almost as if on cue, another loud boom caused the ground to rumble – causing Marcia, Peter, Bobby, and Cindy to scream.
"Inside – NOW!" Mike shouted – gesturing toward the house.
Not wasting another minute, the Bradys ran into the family room. "Let's take cover in the service porch!" Mike shouted by the time he had run into the kitchen. The other family members followed him through the kitchen and ultimately into the service porch.
The Bradys were all trembling as they knelt on the floor. Bobby and Cindy found themselves on the verge of tears – looking at their parents. "Mom…Dad…are we going to be okay?" Bobby asked.
"Don't worry, kids," Carol said – giving both of her youngest kids a hug and kiss. "We're probably going to be okay. We don't even know that it's an earthquake. It is scary, though."
"Your mother's right," Mike agreed – bending down and putting one hand on the back of his head. "But just to be safe, we're going to stay here for a while."
Carol grabbed a weather radio from a cabinet and turned it on. The Bradys remained trembling while kneeling on the floor, keeping their hands behind their heads, and listening to the radio.
Just then, Mike raised his head. "You guys, I think I heard a door opening. That could be Greg," he said. "You all stay here while I go check it out."
"Be careful, Dad," Jan warned as Mike left the service porch.
Sure enough, as Mike entered the living room, he saw Greg running down the brick steps into the carpeted area. He then saw Mike and ran over to him.
"Dad, did you see that big light in the sky and hear those two really big booms?" Greg asked – his face white as if he had seen a ghost.
Mike raised an eyebrow – his demeanor changing from fear to confusion. "What?"
"On my way home from dropping off Rachel, I heard two big booms," Greg explained. "At first, I thought that it was an earthquake, but then, I saw a bright light in the sky. It looked like a meteorite."
"Oh," Mike said – breathing a sigh of relief.
"Dad…" Greg said – staring gravely at his father. "The meteorite looked like it was headed for our neighborhood."
Now Mike's face had turned white. "Please tell me you're joking, Greg – "
"Dad, why would I joke about a thing like this?" cried Greg – clenching his fists.
"Okay, let's go to the service porch!" Mike ordered – gesturing in that direction.
"Dad, what about the others?" Greg asked as he followed his dad into the room – breathing a sigh of relief when he saw that most everyone else was present. He then questioned why he was sighing in relief when all his loved ones had gathered in the very spot where the meteorite could land.
"Greg! Oh, thank goodness you're here!" Bobby cried – getting up and running to his big brother. The two hugged each other.
"Bobby, get back down!" barked Mike.
"Mike, what's wrong?" Carol asked with confusion in her voice. "I've been listening to the weather radio, and there don't seem to be any earthquakes in our area."
"You're right. It's worse than that," Mike muttered.
Carol's eyes bulged in shock. "Worse?"
At that moment, the Bradys all screamed as an enormous boom filled the air while the entire house shook violently.