A/N: This is loosely based on the time after the lawsuit, there won't be Buddie but I'll still mix in some bromance.

Chapter 1

One month. It has been one month since Buck returned to 118, but their treatment of him hasn't changed. While Hen and Chim are civil with him and try to help with some of his chores, the others aren't. He wasn't berated the entire day or physically abused, but the cold shoulders, glares, and snickers whenever he's told he can't join a call, they still cut deep. He was beginning to question giving up the seven million dollars for a family that doesn't seem to consider him one of them anymore. Even Bobby, the man he looked towards as a father, ignores or yells at him. Eddie doesn't even allow him to see Chris despite the lawsuit being dropped. Not seeing Chris or having his best friend is one of the things that hurt the most, alongside Bobby ignoring him.

Pushing the thoughts to the back of his mind, I placed the cleaning utensils away as the end of his shift rolled around. He quietly watched as they walked out together, forgetting he was there too. Swallowing the ball of emotions in his throat, he grabbed his bag and made his way to his Jeep. The dark arms of depression once again wrapped around him, feeling like he was being strangled. Quickly climbing into his car, he glanced down at the bottle of pills sitting in the passenger seat, the same bottle that had been haunting him for weeks. They were painkillers from when he first broke his leg, one of the strongest they had. Dilaudid.

He could remember his doctor's hesitation to prescribe it, knowing how addictive the medicine becomes. The pain was unbearable, and most other pain medications made him sick. Dilaudid was the only one that didn't make him want to throw up all the time, and it soothed his pain. He hadn't touched them in a while but was desperate for their calming effect. Closing his eyes, he turned away from the pills and started his jeep, leaving his new hell hole. His hands tightened on the wheel as memories flashed in his mind, eventually reaching that day in the store.

"You're exhausting."

The tears slowly fell from his eyes, remembering the betrayal, anger, and hatred in his team's eyes. Hearing those words from his best friend, his brother, tore his heart apart. He punched the steering wheel with a scream, trying to blink away the tears. Each night the emotional pain worsened, slowly ripping pieces of him and pushing him closer to the edge. The dark thoughts again entered his mind, whispering for him to do it. They barely noticed him anymore; they wouldn't know he was gone until it was too late.

Maddie paced the kitchen, something telling her she should call Buck. Trying to soothe herself, she quickly got to finishing dinner. The last time she spoke with her brother, he sounded so empty and alone, his voice no longer holding the joy it used to. From what he would tell her, she knew things were rough at the station, but she began wondering just how rough. She looked up as Chim walked through the door, immediately noticing her mood.

"You alright?" He asked, gently hugging her.

She sighed, "I texted Buck a few hours ago, and he left me on read. He hasn't been himself, and I'm worried."

"Well, honestly, it hasn't been very welcoming at the station for him."

"It's not fair. I know he hurt you guys, but don't you think a month is enough? I'm about to make him transfer."

"I've been trying."

"Have you?" She countered, giving him a hard stare. "Do you text him at all? Check-in on him? He said no one speaks to him, that you and Hen never check on him after work."

Chimney hesitated, "I..."

Shaking her head, she released an angry breath as she put dinner on their plates. "I can't believe you right now. He's my baby brother, Howie."

"I know. I'll head over there after dinner, okay?"

Maddie nodded quietly, still unable to shake the feeling.

Buck stared at the pills as he sat on the bathroom floor, debating taking them. Flashes of hateful glares flew through his mind, causing him to spiral further downwards. Without a second thought, he swallowed all the pills, not caring about the outcome. As the intense drowsiness began falling over him, he struggled to breathe. It felt as if he were floating, no longer on the earth. Then came the panic as he slowly realized what he did, causing him to try and grab his phone. Tears spilled from his eyes, his thoughts barely forming as he tried remembering who he was calling. With shaking hands, he dialed the first person he could think of.

Please pick up.

Why did I do this?

It feels so nice though...all of the pain is slipping away.

Wait.

I'mslipping away.

"What is it, Buckley?"

He winced at the harsh tone, "I...help."

His voice came out breathless as he struggled, fighting against his body to stay awake.

"Buck, what happened? Are you okay?"

"Please," Buck cried softly.

"I'm driving your way, Buck. Hang in there. Talk to me."

Unconsciousness was pulling at him, making him teeter dangerously on edge. "D-Dilaudid."

"Damn it, Buck. Listen to me; I need to try and focus as best you can on staying awake and breathing."

"Can't.."

"Buck?"

"Buck!"

"EVAN!"