QLFC Round 1

Montrose Magpies

Chaser 2

Prompt: the number 13 - write about someone being betrayed.

Extra prompts: 3 (action) hiding, 8 (dialogue) "What's the deal with you always wanting to ruin your own life?"

Word count: 2,200

A/N: In an interview J.K. Rowling revealed James Potter was in fact a Chaser; in the HP movies he was portrayed as a Seeker due to Harry's position on the Quidditch team. I have decided to follow her headcanon in this fic, so James is a Chaser. Possible CW for some light cursing.

Friday the 13th, January, 1978.

Sirius found himself in the Astronomy Tower, as he often did when he came to get away from crowds, kept company by the flask he always carried in his robes and a pack of cigarettes.

Gryffindor's win over Hufflepuff was easy. James played beautifully, as he always did, scoring an impressive 50 points. Sirius secretly thought he could have done better, having a habit of playing quite more aggressively than his dark-haired friend, but had not touched a broomstick since being banned from the Quidditch team in sixth year and, out of spite, vowing never to touch one again.

He lit a smoke now, scoffing as he recalled Hufflepuff's own play. Weak, the lot of them. He swore he hadn't seen a decent game played by them in his entire Quidditch career.

His thoughts sombered now, reflecting on the past seven years and how fast his time at Hogwarts seemed to have flown by. Granted, there were five more months for something to screw up his graduation, but after the disastrous prank he'd played on Snape in fifth year he'd tried to clean up his act, at least a little bit. Emphasis on tried.

A visible frown came to Sirius's face as his musing turned to Snivellus Snape. Greasy-haired little bastard, he thought, scowling. He has what's coming to him in the real world.

Truth be told, he could guess exactly what was coming: a one-track road to the Death Eaters. He expected nothing else from the git.

Sirius inhaled deeply, then winced. A year on nicotine and he still felt the burn in his lungs every time he lit up.

"Smoking will kill you, you know."

An eye-roll, then a faint smile as Sirius turned to see Lily Evans, hands on her hips. He had to admit, he had been a bit prejudiced regarding James's girlfriend, given her altogether stuck-up manner and the fact that she had been a prefect and Head Girl but she had a surprising amount of spunk in her and made an enjoyable fifth-member of their little gang. Plus, with the quantity of gold James had spent on her engagement ring, he had no choice either way.

"There are worse things out there that will get me," Sirius quipped, taking a drag and purposefully blowing the smoke into her face. Lily coughed and waved it away, frowning.

"I should confiscate that, smoking isn't allowed on school grounds," she told him, approaching and leaning over the edge of the railing.

Sirius feigned offense, slapping a hand over his heart dramatically. "What, smoking isn't allowed on school grounds? I'll be damned. Let me just put this out right away - I'd say if I were one to follow school rules, ever."

Lily rolled her eyes.

"James is asking about you," she went on, changing tracks abruptly. "Worried about you today."

Sirius scoffed at that. "What is there to be worried about? I'm just peachy."

She gave him a serious look. "We all know what today is and truth be told, I'm worried about you, too."

He stared into her green eyes unflinchingly. She met his gaze unwaveringly.

He broke the silence.

"Green is my favorite color, did you know that?"

Lily's gaze softened ever so slightly and she punched him lightly. "You're in the wrong house for that, then."

Sirius smirked. "I was doomed from the start."

Silence again as Sirius finished his cigarette and Lily kept him company. Then:

"He's 18, the prat."

"I know."

"Surprised he's made it this far, honestly."

Lily laughed, but this time it was brief and tainted with concern. Needing something to busy his hands with, Sirius pulled out his flask and studied the thing before uncapping it and taking a deep swig. The alcohol burned his throat after the smoke, but this time he didn't pull a face.

He offered Lily a drink and she took it silently, then examined the flask in her own turn.

"A thirteenth birthday gift from Tonks," he explained. "As a joke."

The flask was silver and engraved with the Black family crest. Tonks had indeed given it to him as a joke, since his relationship to the rest of the Black family had at that point in time already been close to non-existent, and he had kept it and drunk from it religiously to spite them. To remind them that he was still a Black by name, regardless of how he felt completely otherwise. He had enjoyed pulling it out at family dinners and waving it in various family member's faces as he became increasingly more drunk and eventually snapped, often picking fights that turned physical.

Before his dear old mother blasted him from the family tree, of course.

"Did you wish him a happy birthday?" Lily inquired.

Sirius laughed sharply. "I hope that's not a genuine question. I am never talking to him again."

He found it ironic that his little brother's 18th birthday fell on Friday the 13th, that he was born on the 13th to begin with. Sirius didn't consider himself especially superstitious, but had always regarded himself as the cursed outcast of the Black family. The 13th was not a particularly fitting birth date for his scrawny, cowardly brother.

He extended a hand and when Lily passed him the flask, he finished it, this time grimacing visibly. When the burn had passed, he spoke again:

"We were close when we were very little. I think he was five, I must have been seven. He had just gotten his first broomstick and we had been flying in the backyard when he fell and broke his arm. I remember telling my parents five was too young for his first broomstick, but they ignored me. Of course, I got my first at five, too, but I was never as clumsy as Reg."

Lily smiled gently.

"He was obviously crying but trying so hard to hide it. His arm was twisted at this weird angle. I landed and just held him. I didn't know what else to do. Adrenaline must have set in, because he stopped crying at some point and just looked up at me and said 'Thank you, Sirius. I love you.' I never told him I loved him, I don't think. We drifted apart quite soon after that, and it's one of my only memories of him that is actually a good one. I stopped really regarding him as a brother as I got older and the ol' family house stopped being a family house and more hell on Earth."

Sirius stopped, a slight lump forming in his throat. He avoided speaking of his family at all costs, and when, only with disdain, but now a sense of bitterness formed in his consciousness.

"Regulus was the only other one I had for the majority of my childhood. Yeah, Tonks showed up for family gatherings ever once in a while, but he and I lived together. And I don't miss him one bit. He's a coward who can't think for himself and a traitor to any decent person's morals. I just wish he'd been less of a coward. You know? Once any sense of a brotherly relationship we had dissolved, which was quite quickly, it still felt like a stab in the back. And now he's gone off to the Death Eaters. It's a disgrace, really."

Lily had been listening intently, and now laid a hand on his arm. Sirius went on, the bitterness growing in his chest.

"We talked about that once actually. The last conversation we'd ever have. Surprisingly late. I was sixteen, an arrogant bastard about to leave the family and he - well, he was the son I could never be. Following my parents' ideals blindly. It was a big fight with Orion and Walburga and it was the last straw for me. I was packing a bag.

"He followed me up into my room. I had no idea he was in there, I was throwing shit together. I hear this voice behind me and I was - I was so angry, Lily. I turned and I threw a punch. He stumbled back a little, but didn't fall. God, I - "

"What did he say?" Lily interrupted softly.

Sirius laughed, but it was sarcastic, humorless.

"The bastard had the gall to ask me, 'what's the deal with you always ruining your life?' That one stung, because yeah, maybe I was ruining my life and cutting off all ties to a cutthroat, pure-blooded family of evil, but at least I was following what I believed in and not being a spineless fish incapable of standing up for himself."

Sirius swallowed. The lump in his throat was back.

"I hit him. I spit his own words back to him. I knew exactly what he intended on doing; joining the Death Eaters as soon as he possibly could. Everyone knew it, and nobody was going to stop him. Doing that is a death sentence, one way or another, Lil. Either you die fighting for fucked-up ideals or you realize, much too late, that what you're fighting for is wrong. You die either way. There's no way out. That's more ruining your life than what I did, isn'it it?"

A rhetorical question, and Lily knew it. Sirius's hands were starting to shake, and he clenched his fists and went on.

"That was the first and the last time I ever laid a hand on him. I don't know what came over me. I looked at him, just standing there, and all of a sudden I saw the four year old I comforted after breaking his arm. I didn't know what to say - I sure as hell wasn't about to apologize - so I just said the first thing that came to mind."

Now Sirius stopped. His hands were itching for something to hold, so he pulled out his faithful pack of Park Drives and lit another cigarette.

It took half of it before he was calm enough to continue.

"I told him he wasn't going to make it out alive. I said, 'Who's ruining their life, huh? You're a dead man walking, Reg. It's only a matter of time.' I had had enough at that point and just wanted to be out of the house so I grabbed my bag and walked past him. The last thing he said to me before I left stung. 'You're betraying the family.' It was quiet. It was the most courageous thing he had ever said to me. It was like he was asking to be hit again."

Sirius laughed again.

"I've always had a flair for the dramatic, you know that, Lily. I turned and the last thing I said to him was 'No, you're betraying me.' "

Lily laughed as well, but an unsure, weak emission of sound.

"And you know what? I really believed that when I said it. I know it's complete bullshit now, I know we were never, ever close enough to feel betrayed by him, but in that moment I thought, foolishly, that my own brother should support me. I never made that mistake again. I left, and I haven't spoken to him since."

Sirius exhaled, an odd sense of peace coming over him. He had spent his entire life protecting himself with loud, boisterous jokes and hiding his insecurities behind a fake appearance of arrogance and confidence. Never had he so blatantly exposed his emotions to anyone.

Now Lily spoke.

"I felt similarly when my sister and I started drifting apart. It was for different reasons, of course, but she was my best friend when we were younger. I felt betrayed by her turning her back on me."

Sirius nodded. He had nothing further to say on the subject.

She stepped closer now, looping an arm through his, and he let her. Her presence was oddly comforting.

"Feeling sold out by blood is a shitty feeling. I understand that, I promise. But I've learned, as I know you have, that blood doesn't mean jack-shit. We're your family now, Sirius, and we'll never betray you."

He nodded again.

She drew back and produced a flask from the depths of her own robes. Sirius feigned shock.

"Am I seeing this with my own eyes? The Head Girl carrying a flask on her person? Drinking isn't allowed on school grounds, you know," he teased.

Lily rolled her eyes. "Hanging out with you boys has been nothing but a bad influence on me, you know that."

"Ah, I'd be offended if it was anything but," Sirius responded, and accepted the flask gratefully. "To shitty families and better friends." A quick swig, and Lily reclaimed the flask.

"To shitty families and better friends."

As she drank, Sirius looked up at the sky, surprisingly clear for a winter night and as naked and bare as he felt right now in front of Lily.

Happy birthday, Regulus, he thought. I hope you have another one.

"The others will be wondering where you are," Lily said now. "You ready to go drink your feelings away?"

"I don't know what you're talking about, I have no feelings," Sirius joked. "Let's go."