(A/N: So that first chapter showed that Jr.'s plan backfired due to Mario doing something he hadn't expected, and he had no back-up plan in case this sort of thing occurred! What's going to happen now? I'll get this show on the road so you can find out!)
As Bowser Jr. walked along the road back to the castle where his father was waiting for him to return with Princess Peach, he couldn't help feeling pretty nervous. He told his father that this plan would not fail, but it did, and it was all because Mario did something he wasn't supposed to do with Peach. How in the world was Jr. gonna explain this without being in trouble?
"Ooh, that Mario makes me so angry! I said I was gonna tell Papa on him, but that doesn't sound bad enough. Papa's going to be more mad at me because my plan failed! He's going to punish me for telling him that I was wrong!" Jr. moaned to himself. He didn't want his father to know that his plan had failed, but he knew his father would know if Peach wasn't with him! He would be furious, and the punishment for failing would not be pretty.
The young Koopa thought back to when he'd been disguised as a shadowy-looking Mario on Isle Delfino. That had been easy enough. Everyone on the island had been fooled into thinking that the real Mario was the cause of the pollution on their island, rather than him! Well, everyone except Mario, the Toads, and of course, Princess Peach.
Tricking the islanders had been easier than pie! When the real Mario showed up on the island, he got into big trouble for something he never did! Jr. had caused plenty of trouble beforehand, feeling sure that it would be enough to make everyone there blame Mario before he could even begin to enjoy what he was hoping to have: a nice, relaxing vacation with Peach.
And then, still thinking about how he ruined Mario's Isle Delfino vacation before it even began, he got an idea. An awful idea! Bowser Jr. got a wonderful, awful idea! He even made a Grinch smile in order to prove it!
"I got it! I know just what to do!" Jr. said to himself as he stopped walking. He figured that if he could easily fool the people on Isle Delfino into thinking that Mario was a terrible person, then maybe he could actually fool his papa into thinking that Mario did more than just punch him in the mouth! This would spare him a punishment for failing, and Mario would be in trouble!
So what did Bowser Jr. do next? He started striking and scratching himself to make it look like he got hurt. He even rubbed dirt on himself and rumpled his bandana, trying to make it look like Mario totally kicked his butt. He also slugged himself in the eye, trying to give himself a black eye, and it worked. The idea was to make Bowser see that Jr. tried to get Peach, but Mario unfortunately found out and quickly beat him up before he could get too close.
"And now I know exactly what to tell Papa! When he hears it, Mario will be sorry that he didn't just hand over Mama Peach in the first place!" Jr. said to himself with a sneaky smile on his smug face as he started walking home with a fake limp. He knew that if his papa saw him like this, Mario would never hear the end of it.
When Jr. got to the castle, he limped his way into Bowser's throne room to see his father sitting on his throne, with an empty throne next to him. It was the throne for his queen to sit on, but he didn't seem to have a queen at present. Bowser was hell-bent on having none other than Princess Peach of the Mushroom Kingdom as his queen.
Bowser was reading a magazine called Badder Homes & Gardens. (A/N: In a "Powerpuff Girls" book I used to have, Mojo Jojo was reading a magazine that had the same name.) But then the king of the Koopas heard a small sound, which caused him look up from the magazine and look around the room. Then he saw the source of the sound. It was his son, Bowser Jr., slowly limping into the throne room, up to the throne upon which he sat.
Bowser quickly closed the magazine and set it off to the side, starting to feel concerned for his son. What happened to him?
"Jr., what's the matter?! You're limping! And look at your eye! How did you get like this?!" Bowser asked, getting up off his throne and hurrying to his child's side. Seeing his son like this really worried him.
"Oh, Papa... It was awful! Just awful!" Jr. said, tears forming in his eyes.
"What happened to you?! And where is Princess Peach? Isn't she here with you? Weren't you able to kidnap her?" Bowser asked as he picked up Jr. and held him in his arms. Bowser didn't sound mad at all, just very concerned. He was too worried about his youngest child's state of health to be mad about the absence of the princess.
"N-no... I-I couldn't... g-get close to her..." Bowser Jr. sniffled.
"Why not?" Bowser asked.
"I-it was all that... M-M-Mario's fault!" Jr. said before bursting into crocodile tears. But Bowser didn't know that they were fake tears, though. He thought Jr. really was upset.
"Mario?! I should have known! What did that stupid plumber do to you?!" Bowser growled. He was mad at Mario, which was just what Jr. wanted to hear.
"Well, Papa... he... he d-decided that M-Mama Peach doesn't w-want me to be her ch-child... And then... he... Look what he did to me!" Jr. sobbed.
Bowser looked at Jr. very carefully. He looked like he'd been beat up, and he was all dirty with a rumpled bandana. Add to that the fact his son had limped into the throne room with a black eye. Had Mario really gone that far?!
On the outside, Jr. looked miserable and pathetic. But on the inside, he was laughing to himself, thinking, "Wow! I'm actually fooling Papa into thinking that Mario is worse than he really is! This has got to be, without a doubt, my greatest idea ever!"
"Oh man! I always knew Mario was a terrible person, but now he's taken that cruelty to a new low level by beating up a child! My youngest child, no less! Where does he get off doing that?!" Bowser asked in anger.
"I... I d-don't know, Papa... I hurt all over..." Jr. whimpered, burying his small face in Bowser's chest. He sounded like he was weeping, but in truth he was snickering to himself. Bowser was falling for the big, fat lie!
"Did Peach see him do that to you?!" Bowser asked.
"No... she didn't! Mario's stupid brother... took her away... and ran off to who-knows-where... before he did it!" Jr. wailed. His wail was totally fake, but Bowser didn't know it.
"Well, don't you worry, Jr. Your old papa's going to go and set that puny plumber straight! And when I find Princess Peach, I'll tell her what Mario did to you. When she hears about it, I know that she's going to feel really bad, and she'll come with me to see you. She'll never want to be with a man like Mario; a man who beats up children with no regrets." Bowser assured his son.
"Th-thanks, Papa..." Bowser Jr. said between sniffles.
"No problem, my son." Bowser said.
"Oh, Papa... There is... one other thing..." Jr. said, recovering now.
"What is it?" Bowser asked.
"You... you need to hurt Mario worse... than ever before..." Jr. replied.
"Don't worry, son. I will hurt him. I'm going to make him bleed." Bowser promised.
"No, I... I mean it... He said... well, he said something... really mean to me... when I told him... I was going to... tell you what he did... and he would be sorry." Jr. said.
"What did he say to you? Can you tell me?" Bowser asked, knowing that whatever Mario said to him wasn't going to be a good thing.
"Come closer." Jr. pleaded, beckoning for his father to come real close.
Bowser knew that it had to be bad if Jr. needed to whisper it. He got real close to his son, allowing Jr. to whisper the answer to him.
"Okay, Jr. Tell me what he said." Bowser said in a soft voice.
"He said, 'Frankly, my dear, I don't give a... you-know-what...'" Jr. whispered to Bowser.
When Bowser heard that, his eyes were as big as Jr. himself!
"He said WHAT?!" Bowser screamed.
"He said that... to me!" Jr. exclaimed.
"Is that so?! Well, that's it! I've heard more than enough! When I get my claws on that plumber, he is going to wish he had never been born!" Bowser swore. But before he left the castle, he found Kamek walking around. Bowser told him, "Kamek, I've got to go out and take care of some business. While I'm gone, I want you to give Jr. a nice, warm bath and put him to bed."
"Already, my king? But I thought Jr. doesn't get his bath until nightfall, and it's not even past noon!" Kamek said.
"I know that! But when you see him, you'll see why he needs his bath now. He's had a really rough day so far." Bowser said.
"Yes, Master Bowser. I will do as you say. Where is he?" Kamek asked.
"He's in the throne room. He'll tell you what happened to him." Bowser replied.
"I'll go and take care of him." Kamek promised, rushing off to do as Bowser asked.
Bowser stomped out of the castle and began to search the Mushroom Kingdom for Mario. And he decided to look at the first place he figured Mario would be: Peach's Castle.
Sure enough, Mario was still at Peach's Castle, reassuring the frightened Toads that everything was going to be just fine. Professor E. Gadd had shown up a few minutes ago with his Poltergust 3000, and he sucked up the thundercloud with it.
"There! No more thundercloud. The castle is safe now." said the professor with a big smile on his face.
"Grazie. Thanks, Professor." Mario smiled.
"Yeah, thank you, sir." said the Toads, feeling very relieved.
"No problem. I was happy to help. Maybe I can even help out inside in case there was any damage done in there?" the professor asked.
"Yeah. Come on in!" said one of the Toads, and they were ready to invite him inside.
Just then, they heard an almighty roar! Everyone looked in the direction the sound came from, and they saw... Bowser! And if that wasn't bad enough, he was coming that way! Not only that, he was moving really fast, like Sonic the Hedgehog! Bowser never moved that quickly before!
"AAAAAHHHHH! Run away! It's Bowser!" screamed the Toads in horror, grabbing the professor's hands and dragging him into the castle before slamming the doors shut! They didn't want Bowser coming in there and ruining everything for Peach while she was gone.
"What do you want, Bowser? And you'd better not say that you're here for Peach, because she isn't here at present. She's out somewhere else." Mario replied, not surprised that Bowser had shown up. He knew Jr. said he was going to tell his father.
"Listen here, Mario! You crossed the line this time, and you know what that means? You and me are gonna go 'round and 'round!" Bowser yelled at Mario, obviously very angry at the plumber.
"Are you sure you really want to do that, Bowser? I thought you hated it, but if that's what you want, then I say okie-dokie! Let's-a go!" Mario said, and he got ready to grab Bowser by the tail and swing him 'round and 'round.
But Bowser blocked Mario before the plumber could reach his tail.
"That's not what I meant, and you know it, you dim-witted dodo! What I'm saying is, you're going to pay for what you did to my son!" Bowser shouted.
"Hey, Bowser, I know you're not going to like hearing this, but I had to do it! Your son was asking for it!" Mario said.
"Are you crazy?! Nobody asks for a beating like the one you gave him!" Bowser yelled.
"What did you say?! A beating?! Are you implying that I actually beat up your kid?!" Mario asked, surprised. He didn't beat up Jr.; he just socked him in the kisser. One punch in the mouth could hardly be considered a beating.
"Don't play stupid with me, plumber boy! Jr. came home all dirty and beat-up with a black eye, and he even walked with a limp!" Bowser yelled, lunging towards the plumber.
"What? I didn't beat him up, Bowser! All I did was sock him in the kisser!" Mario said, jumping in order to get out of harm's way.
"Sure you did!" Bowser said sarcastically, still not believing Mario, angry that he missed and getting ready to try and hit Mario again.
"Bowser, I'm being serious right now! I didn't do anything other than punch him! That's all I did to your son! I swear it!" Mario said, quickly dodging to the side to avoid Bowser punching the daylights out of him.
"Who are you trying to kid, you puny pain-in-the butt?! Wait until I tell Princess Peach what you did to him! When she finds out that you seem to have no problem beating up little kids, she's going to change her mind about you and decide that she wants kids with someone else! Someone like me!" Bowser said, wishing Mario wasn't able to dodge his attacks.
"In your dreams, Bowser! Peach isn't stupid! I think she would be rather glad if she found out that I punched your son in the mouth! The way he adds her name to the 'Mama' title he gave her is proof enough that she's clearly annoyed with him!" Mario said.
"She'll be furious when she finds out how upset Jr. was! He was bawling his eyes out when he came to me!" Bowser said.
"All because I punched him in the mouth?" Mario asked.
"No! Were you not listening to me, Mario?! My son was walking with a limp when he got back to my castle, he was all dirty and beat-up, and he even had a black eye to prove that he'd been pounded by a jerk like YOU!" Bowser yelled.
Mario's eyes were as big as dinner plates when he heard Bowser say that. He didn't beat up Jr. like that! It was true that he hated the little runt, but he would never go that far! Mario didn't have it in him to give Jr. a beating like the ones his father and other villains deserved.
"Huh... That's a pretty funny story, Bowser, because I honestly don't recall doing anything else to your son to make him look that bad." Mario said.
"Oh, but that's not all, Mario! He even says that when he warned you that you would be sorry, you said something awful to him!" Bowser said.
"That's not true. I didn't say a word to him when he said I'd be sorry." Mario said honestly.
"Yes, you did! He said that you told him, 'Frankly, my dear, I don't give a-'" Bowser began, but he was cut off by Mario saying, "Mama-mia! Hold the phone! I never said that line from "Gone With The Wind" to your son!"
"Well, he says you said it to him! And I didn't teach him that line!" Bowser yelled.
"You can't say I did it because I didn't say it to him! It's-a something you might want to say to a woman, and in that case, I'd only say it to a woman who deserved to hear it, like Cackletta, the Shadow Queen, or even the Shroob Princesses! Not your kid because he's a boy!" Mario claimed.
"If none of us taught him, then where did he learn it? More importantly, why did Jr. tell me that you said it?!" Bowser asked.
Mario thought long and hard before giving his answer. Bowser would normally take that opportunity to attack, but something told him to sit quietly and let Mario think.
After a few minutes, Mario asked, "Bowser, did it ever occur to you that your son may have been lying to you?"
"What do you mean? My son isn't a liar." Bowser said.
"Oh, yes he is! Don't you remember that time when we were all on Isle Delfino?" Mario asked.
"What does our being on Isle Delfino have to do with my son being a liar?" Bowser asked. He wasn't thinking about that time.
"Are you saying that you remember what your son did while he was on Isle Delfino?" Mario asked.
"Refresh my memory." Bowser told him.
"You and your son obviously got there before Peach and I did, and by the time we got there, Jr. had obviously tricked almost everyone on the island into believing that I was a bad guy, the complete opposite of what I am!" Mario said.
"Oh yeah! I remember that time now! He made me so proud when he captured Princess Peach with ease and made everyone think you were nothing more than a criminal, which is what you are to the royal Koopa line. And I wouldn't be the least bit surprised if the people on that island are still stupid enough to think of you as a bad guy." Bowser said with fatherly pride in his voice. But then...
"Wait a second, Mario! Are you implying that Jr. decided to try and trick me the way he tricked all the people on Isle Delfino?!" Bowser asked, angered.
"Oh yeah!" said Mario, rapidly nodding his head.
"Are you sure that all you did to him was punch him in the mouth?" Bowser asked. He hated to think of Mario hurting his son, but he had to make sure Mario never did anything other than that.
"That's all I did to him. I never did anything to hurt him before or after that." Mario said.
"And when he said you'd be sorry, you didn't say that you don't give a... you know...?" Bowser asked, looking a little uncomfortable about saying the word.
"Of course I didn't say it to him! He's not a woman! I really don't know where he learned that phrase from, if not from you, because I told you that I never said it to him! That line only works on women... bad women!" Mario said.
"Oh, okay. But I really don't want to hear anything about you saying something like that to Wendy! She's my only daughter, and if you say that to her... then you'll really be sorry..." Bowser swore.
"Don't you worry, Bowser. I wouldn't dream of saying it to her..." Mario replied.
"Okay... I guess... I'll head back to my castle... and see just how much of what you told me... is true..." Bowser said, feeling sheepish. He was hoping Mario was somehow wrong about Jr. being a liar. But Mario was looking right into his eyes when he spoke. It was true that Jr. also looked him in the eyes, but right now he could only wonder...
"All right. I guess I'll see you later..." Mario said.
"Yeah. You win. For now..." Bowser muttered, before leaving.
"Mama-mia... I can't believe it! I didn't even have to lay a finger on Bowser this time! All I had to do was dodge his attacks before I got him to listen to me. Luigi and Peach will never believe this! But first, I've got to check on things inside Peach's Castle. I can't take Peach back here if her home looks like a hurricane has passed through it." Mario said to himself as he entered the castle.
There's going to be another chapter after this one, so you might want to stay tuned to see what happens when Bowser gets home!