Buck screamed.
There wasn't much in this world that could bring Buck to his knees, but seeing Eddie fall over the side of a cliff was on the top of that list. After everything they had survived, Buck couldn't fathom that he would lose Eddie now. Eddie had only been back with the 118 for a few weeks and they had been some of the best weeks of Buck's life.
Eddie had returned to work as a new man. Buck was so proud of the work that Eddie had put in to heal. He knew the struggles and the trauma that Eddie'd had to work through to become this newer, freer, happier version of his best friend. The previous months had been heartbreaking in the harshest of ways but to see the result of all that hard work made Buck feel like a new man himself.
Of course, it wasn't Buck's trauma; it wasn't his place to feel broken from Eddie's fears or even to feel pride at Eddie's achievements. But Buck would do anything and everything he could to make sure that Eddie had the support and love he needed to get through to the other side. Buck wasn't a fool, he knew Eddie would have to fight these battles for the rest of his life, but he trusted him to never stop trying.
The day Buck had received that horrifying call from Christopher, begging for help, was imprinted on his brain. He would never forget Christopher's voice calling out for his dad. Buck had been with Christopher on what should have been one of the worst days of that kid's life. Yet when a tsunami tore through LA and tried to drown the most precious thing in the entire world, Christopher stayed strong. Buck was sure that Christopher had been afraid that day, but when he'd screamed Buck's name for help, his voice had held a small fraction of fear compared to the terror in which he'd cried out for his dad through that door.
As for Buck, seeing his steady, unbreakable friend sitting in the wreckage of his own home with tears streaming down his face and blood cracking on his hands, it had nearly broke him then and there. But Eddie needed him and Buck's terror could wait.
Though it was horrifying, that night turned the tide for them all. Eddie had hit rock bottom and when he'd looked up through his tears, Buck had been there. Eddie had continued his self-imposed isolation from everyone else, but there'd been no more pretending with Buck. Buck had seen him at his worst but he didn't run or try to take his son from him. He didn't tell him to stop crying, to man up, to stop dragging Christopher down. No, Buck had stepped in and helped him with anything and everything he needed. Buck took Christopher to school and Eddie to therapy. He made sure they were clothed and fed. He helped Christopher with his homework. He listened to Eddie's struggles and never rushed him to get through his issues. He was kind and patient. He never belittled what Eddie was feeling, even when Eddie came back from therapy with one issue after another.
Eddie may have torn down the walls in his room with a bat, but Buck had torn down Eddie's mental walls with love. If it had been anyone else, Eddie would have fought them tooth and nail. But really, Buck had been steadily removing brick after brick for years, until there was nothing left between them. And even then Buck didn't leave. He was there to rebuild the walls, better and stronger. Just as Buck had helped Eddie patch the walls in his bedroom, he used the bricks from his old mental walls to build a solid foundation, one that wouldn't hide his demons, but give him the strength to face them. Buck didn't just pull Eddie off that street, he saved him every day after.
As for Christopher, that night had scared him to his core. But Buck had assured him that he would take care of his dad, and Buck never lied to Chris. Christopher trusted Buck to take care of Eddie and after that night, Buck was around even more than before. His dad had still looked tired and sad, but when Christopher asked him about it, Eddie would actually try to tell him what was going on and Chris knew he was trying to get better.
And Buck… Buck can honestly say that he would have liked to go his whole life without seeing his best friend shattering to pieces right in front of him, but if that's what had been needed for Eddie to move forward and heal, then Buck was just glad that he'd been there so Eddie didn't have to go through it alone.
Most of the process that had come after was natural for Buck. It was a given that he would cook, clean, drive, help with homework, whatever needed doing. This part wasn't new for them. Buck had stepped into this role after the shooting as well. What was different this time was Eddie. Buck was used to the deep talks he shares with Christopher, but now Eddie would also tell him his fears and share his struggles. He let Buck take some of the weight and little by little, his shoulders felt lighter.
Buck will never forget the heartbreak he'd felt when Eddie started to question if what they put themselves through was really worth all of this. The truth is, firefighters don't do the job for a paycheck. If you don't believe in what you're doing, you are a danger to yourself, your crew, and the people you are trying to save. Though Eddie was the best firefighter Buck had ever known, that had been the first moment that Buck actually thought Eddie might not make it back to the 118. Buck had stopped pushing for Eddie's return the moment he'd realized this went so much deeper than the job, but he'd still believed that Eddie would make his way back to Buck's side. For a while, though, as Buck tried to come up with a way to show Eddie how much he mattered to the people he saved, he'd wondered if this would just help Eddie to heal, not necessarily return to active duty.
Buck had drowned before; he knew what it felt like to not be able to find the surface, to not be able to breathe, and Eddie was drowning in trauma, in grief, in so much pain. So Buck didn't draw back in horror as Eddie questioned one of the best parts of himself. And he hadn't taken Eddie to see Charlie just so he could have his partner back. Because, in the end, Buck just wanted Eddie and Christopher to be happy. Even if that wasn't with the 118, Eddie deserved to know that the legacy he left behind meant something.
But they'd made it. One year after a bullet had torn through Eddie's shoulder (and Buck's heart), Eddie returned to the 118 looking lighter and happier than any of them had ever seen. And it wasn't an act this time, not just a mask to appear fine. His step was lighter and his smile brighter. Christopher didn't look scared to leave his dad in a room alone anymore and it had been weeks since they had shared late night fears and teary forehead kisses. Buck felt like he could breathe again. When they were at work, Buck could just turn his head to the side and see that Eddie was really there, smiling and healthy. Buck had spent months trying his best at work, but his mind was always torn to the little house on South Bedford Street. Now, if his mind wandered to blood-soaked asphalt or cries of 'they're all dead', Buck didn't have to wait until he was off shift to check on Eddie and see that somehow they'd really made it through to the other side of this nightmare.
But there was always another nightmare.
The 118 had been called out to a cliffside where a couple of hikers had thought they could climb down but got stuck halfway. They had apparently tried to turn back when it started to rain and one of the hikers sprained their ankle. It was a fairly routine call and their assignments were no surprise. Cap assigned Buck and Eddie to harness up and go down to retrieve the hikers. Ravi and Lucy were on the winches. Hen and Chim were on standby for the injured hiker upon retrieval.
Buck was eager to do a harness rescue with Eddie. He knew they had done hundreds of them before, but this was the first one they'd done together since Eddie's return and it felt like their first one all over again.
Buck was just securing the last clip when the weather changed. There was a roaring wind and the rain started falling in sheets. The ground beneath his feet shifted and Buck's eyes automatically found Eddie's. Eddie met his gaze and Buck saw fear returning to his best friend's eyes. Because at that moment, water flooded the cliffside and yanked Eddie over the edge.
Buck screamed.
Not again, not again, not again.
The last time Buck had looked into Eddie's eyes as he'd fought to survive, he'd frozen. The shock and terror of the moment had turned Buck's entire body into ice and he'd wasted precious moments letting Eddie fall to the ground and lose too much blood. There was so much about that day that Buck would change if given the opportunity, but that was impossible and he could only learn from his mistakes.
This time Buck didn't freeze. Buck knew that he couldn't afford to because he could see the rope that should be attached to Eddie's harness still waiting to be hooked on. Buck grabbed his own rope and clipped it on as he ran.
Buck jumped.
He just had to trust that Ravi had the winch ready because there was no way he could let Eddie fall and be buried beneath the ton of water, dirt, and debris that was storming off the cliff.
For one terrifying second, Buck thought he'd been too slow. He hadn't hesitated to jump into the water for Christopher either, and they had still been separated too far for Buck to find him. But this wasn't downtown LA with the water churning through countless streets–this was a cliff and all the water was only going one way.
Buck cried out as he caught sight of Eddie. He was trying to grab onto the cliff wall and it was slowing his descent, but the water was too powerful and Buck could see him losing his grip. Buck crashed into him as he fell and grabbed him as tight as possible. Buck could feel the moment Eddie realized what had hit him and he felt Eddie turn and clutch onto Buck's shirt and hang on with all his might.
They were both abruptly pulled tight when they finally ran out of rope and Buck thanked the universe that Ravi must have been ready after all. Eddie's face was only as high as Buck's chest and he had his arms wrapped around Buck with his hands in a vice grip on Buck's back. Buck wasn't sure how best to move so that Eddie wouldn't be torn from Buck's grasp. There wasn't much they could do with the water pouring harshly down onto them, but Buck did bow his head and shoulders over Eddie to try to keep the pounding water from him.
Buck could barely feel a slight tug on the rope and he realized that Ravi was probably checking if he could pull them up. Buck knew it was useless; their equipment was no match for the weight coming down on top of them. They would have to ride this out until the pressure let up. So Buck tightened his grip and tried to encourage Eddie. He wasn't even aware of what he was saying, just streams of, "Hang on, Eddie; just a little longer; don't let go; I've got you." He had done the same thing when he finally took action after Eddie was shot but he doubted Eddie remembered that. He kind of doubted Eddie could even hear him now over the rushing water. But Buck didn't stop. He needed Eddie to know he wasn't alone.
Time seemed to drag on. Buck had no idea how long they dangled over the edge. Long enough that Buck felt his muscles screaming at him to relax. Buck was no weakling, but he could feel his strength leaving him and he doubted Eddie was doing much better. But Buck knew what a world without Eddie looked like and he would rather die than give up now. The minutes he was buried underground, the hours that Eddie was in surgery, the days he was in the hospital, they were all some of the worst moments of Buck's whole life. There was nothing in this world, including strained muscles and painful rocks hitting his back, that would cause him to give up on Eddie Diaz!
It felt like an eternity, but eventually the weight falling onto his back seemed to be letting up. Buck hoped Cap wouldn't try to wait much longer. Buck's fingers were locked so tight he might not be able to unclench them, and Eddie hadn't moved at all for too long, but he still hung on to Buck's shirt so Buck had to believe he was still with him. Buck spared a thought for the hikers who couldn't have survived this, but there was nothing he could do for them now.
Buck cried out in relief when he felt their bodies being lifted. He hadn't known it was possible, but he held on even tighter to make sure the movement wouldn't steal Eddie from his grip.
"Hang on, Eddie. We're so close, just a little longer." Buck continued speaking in Eddie's ear as they got closer to safety. He was a little worried by the lack of…well, anything from Eddie. Obviously it helped that Eddie wasn't moving around, it would have made it that much harder to hang on. But he'd barely moved at all since he had turned in Buck's arms and grabbed onto his shirt. At least he was breathing, and they could figure out the rest later. Even if it involved more broken walls and sleepless nights, Eddie was strong enough to get through yet another trauma as long as he was alive.
Buck chanced raising his head and looked up to see how close they were. He caught a faceful of water and tried to avoid choking so as not to jar Eddie. He saw enough to know they were just a few feet from the edge, and he braced his arms and legs as tight as possible around Eddie. His back hit mud seconds later and Buck tried to use his feet to scramble over the edge. As they crested the cliff, they were dragged farther up the ground since there was no way it was safe near the edge with water still flowing around them.
Buck ignored the pain of the ground scraping against his abused back and tried to finally see if Eddie was alright. He could hear shouts around him but he was so focused on the man in his arms that he missed the cries of relief when two bodies were towed onto solid ground. He missed the tears and astonished looks of their extended family. He missed Ravi's overwhelmed expression as he fell to his knees. He couldn't even make out words as they surrounded the friends and tried to look them over.
The thing is, Eddie still wasn't moving. Buck tried to loosen his own fingers from Eddie's shirt but could barely move them, like they would be locked holding onto Eddie forever. He tried to duck his head to see Eddie, but Eddie's face stayed planted in Buck's chest. Buck could feel other hands touching him and probably trying to pull them apart, but to Buck it was like they didn't exist even as they turned him onto his side so he and Eddie were facing each other, still holding on.
"Eddie, Eddie, we're safe now. Please, Eddie, I need you to look at me," Buck pleaded with his best friend. He knew there were tears mixing in with the rain and mud on his face, but he didn't care. "Eddie, please." Buck's voice broke as he prayed Eddie's name.
Finally, Eddie stirred.
Slowly he turned his head to look up straight into Buck's eyes. Buck sobbed in relief. There was clarity and recognition in Eddie's eyes along with some terror and awe. He looked a little out of it, but he was moving and breathing.
Buck took in a lungful of air; he felt like he hadn't breathed since Eddie went over the cliff.
Buck could feel Hen checking his back. He knew there would be plenty of cuts for her to fix up. He also knew what would come later, the bruising that would paint his entire back from the water slamming into him. He'd dealt with it all before after the tsunami and he wasn't worried about himself at all. But even as she moved Buck's shirt, he could feel Eddie cling tighter.
"Eddie, Eddie, we're going to be okay. We're safe now."
Eddie finally spoke. "I thought.. I thought I was going to…You…" His voice broke and he buried his head back into Buck's chest.
"It's okay, Eddie, it's over now," Buck said automatically though he knew this was just the beginning of their newest trauma. They would have plenty of nightmares and therapy still to come from what happened here. But Eddie knew all of that too and it's not what he needed to hear right now. So Buck did what he could to reassure him and Eddie slowly started to relax in Buck's arms.
Just before the 118 finally were able to pry the friends' fingers from their locked position on each other, Eddie looked back up to Buck. With an awe-filled tone and tears in his eyes, he said, "You caught me!"
Without hesitation Buck honestly replied, "I'll always catch you, Eddie."