Chapter 1

February 15

"He branded me. He burned me. With burning house keys, coat hangers, and lit cigarettes." Elliot sat stunned listening to Olivia recount the horrors of her four days with William Lewis. Four days that are still the worst of her life, and the four days where he failed to be there to protect her. And when he thought it couldn't get worse, Olivia continued on. "He forced me to play Russian Roulette with him. It was game over for me with the empty click on Lewis' final turn." (Elliot's brain turned to mush.) "And then…he shot himself." With every agonizing detail, Elliot's core burned with anger, revenge, and guilt. All while he battled himself with feeling like a complete failure protecting Olivia. How and why she can forgive him, and more amazingly, want to be WITH him, is still one of the greatest miracles in Elliot's life.

the previous evening

Olivia sat outside Elliot's building in her SUV. She was anxious, but knew if she waited any longer, she would lose her nerve. She kept replaying so many pivotal moments from the past few weeks in her head: Elliot telling her he cared for and wanted to take care of her, and then proceeded to try and kiss her. Fin telling her to 'ease up on Elliot'. That he's made progress, and seems to be turning his life around and is dealing with his issues. Fin also reminded her that when the time came for Noah to return to the city, it was Elliot she thought of first. That he was the only person she trusted with her son's life in a dark and scary time. She smiled thinking about the gorgeous bouquet of roses Elliot sent to her that afternoon at the precinct for Valentine's Day. He was truly telling the story of their relationship: A few yellow roses symbolizing their friendship…their deep-rooted, trusting friendship. Several red roses, meaning "I love you." And a few of these red roses were tied together with a white rose, symbolizing "unity and oneness." Representing their deeper bond and connection.

As the days lingered on since that fateful night in her kitchen telling Elliot she wasn't ready, Olivia knew what she needed, and more importantly,what she wanted to do. She was tired of never really going after what she wanted. Her whole life, up to this point, had been about making others feel safe and happy. She kept taking strength from knowing that Elliot wanted to protect and take care of her. He wanted to take care of Noah. He wanted to be with her. This knowledge gave her the courage to continue on with her mission. Olivia took a deep breath, turned off the car, opened the door, and exited the vehicle. The walk to Elliot's door seemed to take forever, while the adrenaline in her body pushed her faster than she had ever walked. After standing in front of the door for a brief moment, Olivia took another deep breath and knocked firmly.

Elliot was alone watching the Premier League when he was jolted out of his nightly boredom by the knock on the door. He stood up and cautiously approached. After seeing Olivia's face through the peephole, Elliot excitedly pulled the door open and greeted her with one of his signature ear to ear smiles and sparkly blue eyes. "Liv! Hi! Is everything okay?" Olivia nodded reassuringly that she and Noah were okay. They stood staring at each other for a few moments until Olivia raised her hand and gently placed it on Elliot's cheek. So much was being said in the silence of just looking deeply into someone's eyes…into Elliot's eyes. Standing there cautiously, Elliot slowly reached his hand up and placed it on Olivia's wrist, extending his large, strong hand to completely cover the soft skin of her hand. The fire of his touch gave her the final jolt of confidence that she needed, and Olivia quickly raised her other hand to Elliot's other cheek, and swiftly pulled his face to hers, and with a tilt of her head, she brought their lips together.

The world faded away, and all that was left were Elliot and Olivia. Here, together, as it always should have been. Their bodies melding into each other while their lips sent electric shocks from their mouths to the tips of their toes. Their minds reeling. Elliot was in shock, and didn't know how to respond. He wanted this…more than oxygen to breathe, but he was content letting Olivia set the pace.

A moment later, Olivia released her lips from Elliot's, and moved back a step, while keeping her hands on Elliot's cheeks. Both were gasping for breath as their eyes connected, yearning for an answer to what had just transpired. Trying to decide what to do next, Olivia quickly gathered her thoughts, and decided she wanted more…so much more.

After sucking in a long breath, Olivia once again pulled Elliot to her, and dove in for another kiss. She released her hands from his cheeks, and wrapped arms around Elliot's neck, deepening their contact. At that moment, Elliot decided to let go, and follow Olivia anywhere she wanted to take him. He wrapped his arms around her waist, and pulled their bodies as close together as he could. Olivia delicately brushed her tongue against Elliot's lips, gingerly asking for entrance…and she was not disappointed. As their tongues mingled, Elliot's hands began to explore Olivia's body. The body he had dreamed of for years, but could never blatantly admire, was now his to freely explore. He pressed his erection up against Olivia's aching mound, and she moaned into Elliot's mouth.

As Olivia began to slowly pull back, Elliot desperately tried to hold on, fearing this perfect moment would end far too soon. Sensing his panic, and wanting to assure Elliot that they were only getting started, Olivia lowered her hands to Elliot's hips. She let them slide slowly to gently cup his firm ass. Elliot relished her touch. He placed his cheek against hers, and whispered into her ear…"Liv. Are you sure?"

As Olivia explored Elliot's perfect derrière, she fought every urge to bring her hands around to explore the rock hard bulge in his pants. With her cheek pressed against Elliot's face, she said with a yearning in her voice, "Elliot…I don't want to think anymore. I don't want to analyze everything. I just want to feel something." Olivia sucked in a long breath and gathered her courage yet again, and let her hands slowly move to firmly grasp Elliot's erection, which elicited an audible gasp from him. Olivia pulled her head back and locked her eyes with Elliot's. With an even deeper yearning in her voice, Olivia sternly said "I want to feel you. I want to feel us."

Elliot's eyes glazed over with a passion he had never experienced. The untouchable goddess of a woman he had loved for years and years, who had become an expert at keeping him at arm's length, was now rubbing against his rock-hard erection while lustily saying she wanted 'to feel him'. She wanted 'to feel them'…feel the connection that kept their souls intertwined. Everything was moving so fast, he had to make sure she was good with what was transpiring, and he locked eyes with her, and asked again, "Liv, are you sure?" He didn't want her to have any regrets later.

To his pleasant and excited surprise he heard,"Elliot. I've never been more sure about anything in my life. I want you to take me to your bedroom and make love to me all night." With that, Olivia grabbed Elliot at the nape of his neck, and crashed her lips to his, and sunk her tongue into his mouth as far as she could go. All the while keeping one hand firmly on Elliot's erection.

Elliot pulled Olivia as close to him as he could, and reached around to close and secure the front door. They began walking down the hallway to his bedroom, while not disconnecting their bodies and keeping their lips locked together. He was holding on to Olivia for dear life, praying that this was not a dream from which he would soon wake up.

When they arrived at his bed, Elliot sat on the edge and placed his hands on Olivia's hips and pulled her between his legs. Her hand had released from his bulge, and he now wanted to explore every inch of her body, and he let his hands slowly begin to rub up and down Olivia's sides. He slowly brought his hands to the hem of her sweater and slid them up and under, and began exploring her soft skin.

Olivia placed her hands on his forearms, and through a deep breath said "Elliot…wait."