The Mushroom Kingdom was probably the most famous of all the world's kingdoms. The tales of the exploits that took place there were many and varied, from the day the Koopa Troop first invaded, to the world-spanning adventure known as the Odyssey. In spite of how varied these stories were, there were still three constants: a heroic plumber, a kind-hearted princess, and an evil turtle king. The king would capture the princess, the plumber would set off to rescue, he would confront the evil king, a battle would ensue, and the plumber would emerge victorious, riding off with the princess into the sunset. Peace was restored to the kingdom until next time, when the evil king would inevitably return. Sometimes there were two plumbers, but the second one wasn't really that important.
Regardless, the people of the Mushroom Kingdom could always rely on the plumber to save their kingdom. Yes, they could certainly rest easy, knowing their kingdom had a champion, a true hero.
But currently, the Toads of Toad Town were not resting easily in the slightest, as Bowser, king of the Koopas, was currently flying overhead in his Koopa Clown Car, with Princess Peach as his unwilling passenger.
"Mariooo!" cried Peach, currently in the wicked king's clutches. "Help meee!"
"Gwah ha ha ha haaa!" laughed Bowser, reveling in the chaos he was causing down below. "Tremble in fear, you puny fungi! I've got Peach, and now no one can stop me!" His mouth glowed red, and he launched a fireball at the ground that exploded on contact. The Toads below screamed and scattered, trying to avoid the flames.
Peach's heart caught in her throat as one of her subjects barely avoided getting hit by a stray brick. Out of the corner of her eye, she could see two dots in the distance, red and green, hurrying in her direction. The Clown Car flew over the roof of Peach's castle, its nefarious pilot taking care to scrape its tallest tower with his claws.
Peach glared up at the Koopa king. "Haven't you learned your lesson by now, Bowser? Why do you continue to terrorize my kingdom?"
Bowser simply laughed her off. "Why?! I'll tell you why! 'Cause I'm the biggest, baddest brute around! The almighty emperor of evil! I take what I want and don't care who I step on to get it!" And with a final burst of speed, the Koopa Clown Car sped off, leaving the Mushroom Kingdom behind.
Bowser flew and flew with the unfortunate princess, over hot, arid deserts and frozen, icy mountains; over pleasant seasides, treacherous, threatening mountains, and the occasional haunted house here and there. At last, the sky turned from a cheery blue to a foreboding dark red. The landscape, previously lush and green, soon became gray and dotted with dead trees and pools of lava. On the horizon, the silhouette of a large menacing castle rose out of the smoke and ash.
Bowser maneuvered his Clown Car to come in for a landing, gently touching down on the landing pad. Two burly-looking Koopas with helmets were waiting, glowing marshalling wands in hands. "Hail, Lord Bowser!" they bellowed as the king stepped off his aircraft, the princess held in his claws.
Bowser gave no response as he strode past them and into the main hall of his castle. Lines of helmet-wearing Koopa Troopas were standing on either side of the carpet, saluting him as he passed.
"Our king has returned from another successful kidnapping!" said one. "Koo-rah!"
"Koo-rah!" echoed the masses.
Once again, Bowser paid them no mind as he stomped past his troops and through a heavy set of doors. They closed behind the king with a heavy slam, leaving nothing but lines of slightly confused Hammer Brothers. A lone cough echoed through the hall.
"...Rough day today?" suggested one.
The king continued to barge through the castle corridors, brushing off any and all of his underlings that tried to salute him. At this point, even Princess Peach was confused. She understood Bowser to be a strong, capable, and passionate leader. But today was different. Here, the powerful king of the Koopas was listless, unenthusiastic, and sluggish. His vacant stare gave Peach the impression that his thoughts were somewhere else.
At last, the king burst through one final door, and they found themselves in a small room that Peach recognized immediately. It was a circular room with Bowser's emblem on the ground and two windows opposite each other, one facing the castle so as to observe anyone who entered, and one facing the land beyond, allowing one to gaze longingly out and call for assistance from any plumbers in the vicinity. At the center of the room was an iron cage, decorated on top with a frilly pink ribbon. Bowser rudely shoved Princess Peach into the cage and slammed the door behind her.
"Gwa ha ha ha…" laughed Bowser. It was less of an evil laugh, Peach noted, and more of a mildly amused chuckle. He turned to face the princess. "Now I've got you in my clutches! And once Mario gets here, you'll have a front-row seat to watch… to…"
Bowser trailed off. His gaze fell to the stone floor. Peach tentatively opened an eye.
"To…"
One second passed, the sudden silence making it feel like an hour.
Two seconds.
Three…
"…Bwaaaaargh!"
Peach flinched at the sudden outburst. It was not the full-throated, furious roar that he would unleash before a showdown with Mario, but a slightly softer, more frustrated howl. The Koopa king was now facing away from her, his head hung low. It was as if Mario had already trounced him as usual. The room was dead quiet.
At last, Peach broke the silence. "Um, Bowser…?" she asked tentatively. "Are… are you alright?"
Bowser did not answer for what seemed like an eternity. He did not move from his spot. "No, Princess," he murmured. "No, I'm not."
The princess's eyes widened briefly, and her brow furrowed. "What… what do you mean? Is something wrong?" she asked, against her better judgment.
Slowly, heavily, Bowser turned around, forcing himself to make eye contact. His eyes were dull and weary. "Princess, I…" He swallowed. "I… I need your help, Princess."
Peach blinked. "You… you what?"
Bowser grimaced, the act of confession clearly painful for him. "I need your help. There, I said it." He stared at the cold stone floor. "Don't make me say it again."
"My… help?" echoed the princess. "You need my help?" She stared blankly as Bowser nodded. "Wh— with what?"
"Everything!" answered Bowser immediately. He stood up, the ground shaking as he did so. Seeing Peach's confusion grow even deeper, he attempted to elaborate. "Y'know, with…" He gesticulated excitedly, first in front of himself, then at his surroundings. "With… with how to run things."
Peach frowned. "Run thi—" She paused as realization finally, finally set in. By the stars, if what she thought was the reason was the actual reason… She closed her eyes and took a deep breath in an attempt to steady the irritation that was building up inside her. "Bowser."
The king looked up at her. "Huh?"
"Did you honest-to-heaven kidnap me… wreck my home…" She took another breath, trying to slow the thudding in her chest. "…so that you could ask for advice on how to run your kingdom?"
Bowser's posture slackened a bit. "…Well, yeah," he answered with the gentle shrug and the slight furrow of his brow that told her yes, of course, that was kinda the most obvious reason he would do such a thing.
Princess Peach just stared at him. What else could she do? "Oh, by the stars," she got out at last.
"Oh, what?!" The Koopa king gestured defensively, his arms held out and towards the ground. "What was I supposed to do, just walk right on up and ask?!"
"Yes!"
"Oh, yeah, okay, lemme just mosey on up to your castle and ask! That woulda gone real smoothly! You woulda just thought I was up to no good!"
Peach pinched the bridge of her nose. "When are you ever not up to something?"
"I—" Bowser paused. "Are we counting the kart races and the tennis matches, or…?"
"No."
Bowser opened his mouth to speak, closed it, and decided that the defense he had prepared didn't quite stand up to that. "Yeah, that's… that's fair."
"Okay. Okay." The princess puffed out an angry sigh and stared at the bars of her cage. The first off-brand kidnapping had been when she and a handful of her subjects had been sealed away in the walls of her own castle, at the mercy of the monsters that prowled the worlds created within. But this… this was unprecedented. There were many words that danced on the tip of her tongue, four-letter words that Princess Daisy would eagerly, gladly say to his face, with or without provocation. Too many for Peach to decide, so she lingered for a moment on incredulous silence before finally settling on another "Okay".
The silence that followed was thick and troubled. Lava bubbled and blorped below. Bowser tapped his claws together and coughed.
"So," began the Koopa King. Peach shot him a look, and Bowser blanched. "I, um… I really could use your advice on this. I mean, if you wanna," he added.
Peach pinched the bridge of her nose again. This was what her life had become, it seemed. Never in her entire life had she wanted Mario, or Luigi, or anyone to rescue her more. This was just… it was just… it was beyond any and all description, that's what it was!
But seeing Bowser, the malevolent, formidable king of the Koopas, look so quiet, so small, so meek… it was unnerving. Something wormed its way into her chest, something deeply troubling.
What do you have to lose? said a voice in her head.
What did she have to lose?
Besides her patience?
"Fine," said Peach. She flopped down on the floor of the cage. "What… What did you want to ask me?"
Bowser sighed, mimicking Peach's flop with a mighty thud, causing bits of gravel to fall from the ceiling. "I dunno, it's just…" He gestured uncertainly with his hands again. "How? How do you do it?"
"Do what?" asked Peach.
"Do… everything!" Bowser motioned at the room, the window, the landscape outside. At Peach's confused blink, he continued. "How do you… handle this? All the time?"
Peach only sighed and readjusted her sitting position. "Would you believe me if I told you I still don't know?"
Bowser's eyes went wide, then narrowed just as fast. "Are you makin' fun of me?"
The princess shook her head. "No, I'm serious. It's… a lot, some days. I don't know how to deal with it all, half the time."
The Koopa King could only gape like a large and particularly ornery fish. "But… but you always seem so together," he managed. "I mean… you're always on top of things."
"Clearly, you've only ever seen me on my good days," sighed Peach. "Those days, those are the easy ones. Sign a few papers, listen to the diplomats, give a few speeches, shake hands with the ambassadors, et cetera, et cetera. Normal things." She closed her eyes, and exhaled, and when she opened her eyes again, they were tired, almost exhausted. "But the other days, those are the days when… when I feel so lost, or overwhelmed, or just… tired of it all. Sometimes, I lose sleep over what tomorrow will bring."
For some reason, Peach's words struck Bowser in a way he couldn't describe. The Koopa King had kidnapped the princess… how many times? He couldn't remember. But he knew, and hated to admit, that he was technically responsible for Peach's lack of sleep, her worries, her hardships. And judging by the look Peach was giving him, she knew that he knew.
And yet, here she was, actually giving him the advice that he had asked her for, that he attacked her kingdom and kidnapped her for.
Guilt, a shriveled old thing that had been stamped out of him in his teenage years, clawed its way through Bowser's chest like a poison. He tried his best to keep his face even, and kept his mouth shut, which was the wisest decision he had made in three weeks.
"My subjects, my people, my friends," Peach went on, "they're all in my hands. Every single one."
She looked at Bowser then, and for the first time, he saw the fatigue in her eyes. He saw the way her shoulders sagged, just ever so slightly.
"Keeping my kingdom the way you know it—peaceful, prosperous—it's not easy," she almost whispered. "It's taken more time than most people can afford, and just as much effort. But I'm used to it now." She smiled at Bowser, in a cheekily furtive way, like she was about to let him in on a massive secret. And she was. "Do you want to know how?"
Bowser leaned in close, his attention captured. "How?"
Peach straightened up, delighted to have an audience. "The day before I took the throne, Toadsworth gave me some of the best advice I ever heard. He said that there were three keys to being an effective leader: courage, honesty, and—" she leaned in even closer now— "Humility."
The Koopa king's bushy eyebrows knitted together. "Humility?" he echoed. "Like, being modest and humble and stuff?"
Peach nodded. "The most important one of all."
Bowser frowned. "Well, what do I need humility for?"
"One thing at a time!" Peach's cheeky little smile grew wider, in a way that made Bowser's heart skip a beat. "We'll start with courage. What does courage mean to you?"
"Courage?" parroted Bowser as he rose. "You're asking me about courage? Look at me! I'm the biggest, baddest baddie around! Who turned Smithy into scrap metal! Me! Who punched that Dark Star's face in? Who freed both of our castles? I did! You're welcome, by the way," he added, his voice hushed, as if anyone would dream of eavesdropping.
Princess Peach, for her part, was not terribly impressed. "Yes, I do remember those. But… it's not quite what I'm looking for." At the curious grunt Bowser made, she went on, "You have plenty of courage in dealing with immediate threats, yes, but what about the courage to innovate? To listen, really listen? The courage to admit mistakes?"
From the way Bowser flinched at the word mistakes, it was definitely something he hadn't done in a long time, if at all. "What's that supposed to mean?" he gruffed. "I don't make mistakes."
"Oh, don't you?" Peach looked directly into Bowser's eyes now, their blue taking on an icy sheen. "You don't make mistakes?"
"Of course I—" Bowser fell silent, and his gaze narrowed, irritation flashing in his eyes. "What're you saying?"
Peach did not say a word. Instead, her eyes flicked to something behind him. He turned, following her gaze, and his own eyes fell on—
A painting, hanging on the wall right behind him. It was a painting that Bowser knew very well, for he had had it commissioned a long time ago, for a very important occasion. It was a painting that was very near and dear to Bowser's heart. (Not that he'd tell anyone. He did have his bad guy cred to keep up, after all.)
What Peach and Bowser were looking at was a portrait of Bowser Jr., painted just one month after he was born.
Bowser whirled on Peach, a clawed hand slamming on top of the cage with a loud clang. Streams of rubble and soot cascaded from the ceiling. "And what's that supposed to mean?!" he roared.
Princess Peach did not flinch. She'd seen Bowser in far worse moods. This was just another Tuesday for her. She took a deep breath and simply asked, "Do you remember Delfino?"
Smoke danced on the edges of Bowser's mouth, but no fire came. "What about Delfino?" he grunted through a clenched jaw.
"You know exactly what I mean," whispered Peach, her voice barely a whisper.
Fury—real, indignant fury—blazed in Bowser's eyes for a long moment. But, whether by the stars intervening, or the knowledge that Peach was right, he looked away, sat back down on the stony floor and huffed, steam sighing from his nose.
"…Well, what do you want me to say?" he growled. "You think I don't know? Of course I regret lying to Junior about his parents… about… about you."
Bowser was still facing away from the princess, unwilling to figure out what expression she was making. Certainly not because he was nervous, or, stars forbid, afraid of her judgment or something. No way.
He did, however, feel Peach relax a little bit, which made him relax in turn. Not completely, but relaxed enough to go on, at least. "Honestly, it's… it's a miracle the little guy even forgave me after all that. But if he has, then I must be doing something right, right?"
Bowser finally dared to look at Peach this time. She was looking at him much differently now. "What's that look for?" he asked.
Despite herself, Peach giggled. The sound went straight to Bowser's core, and he felt heat creeping up to his face that had nothing to do with the lava below.
"Now was that so hard?" she laughed.
Bowser snorted. "Please. I'm the king of the Koopas. It wasn't that hard."
Peach laughed again, and Bowser's heart stuttered. "Yeah, yeah," he fake-grumbled, "I got that off my chest. Happy now?"
"It's a start," answered Peach, hands clasped in front of her chest. "And it's an excellent segue into the next key: honesty!"
The announcement was met with a sideways glance from Bowser. "Honesty?"
Peach nodded. "It is a foundation of excellent character, and it fosters respect!"
Bowser rolled his eyes. "Now you're gonna lecture me about honesty? Do I look dishonest to you?"
Peach leveled a distinctly unimpressed glare at Bowser, looking straight into his eyes. Although she was a great deal shorter than the Koopa king, he still wilted a bit under her gaze. His sneer faded and he looked away. "…Don't answer that," he coughed.
The princess, too, looked away, her gaze back on the painting of Bowser Jr. "Let's go back to Delfino again."
As expected, Bowser groaned. "Oh, great."
Peach tutted, shaking her head. "I know it's uncomfortable to talk about, but brief discomfort is not only necessary, but worthwhile in the pursuit of one's betterment. And that goes double," she added, giving Bowser a pointed look, "for those in a position of power."
"Did that old mushroom head tell you that?" Bowser smirked.
"Yes," answered Peach, glaring at him in a manner that was slightly less annoyed, but still unmistakably disapproving. "And we're referring to Toadsworth by his name, thank you. But we're getting off-topic. When you told Junior to cause havoc on Isle Delfino, what were you thinking?"
The question did not carry an accusatory tone—rather, one of genuine curiosity—but it was still enough to give Bowser pause. "I was thinking… that I… really wanted to ruin the plumber's vacation…" He hesitated, shuffling in place. "So I… I told Junior… all of that."
Peach looked directly at Bowser, her face trained into a (in Bowser's opinion) disturbingly neutral mask. "You lied to him."
Bowser bristled. "...Yeah."
"Did you talk to him, at least?"
"We… talked about it." Bowser turned away sharply. "Like I said, I said I was sorry, and he forgave me, and… that was pretty much the end of it."
"Ah. I see."
The silence that followed was heavy and awkward, as was expected for a monster king and his most common captive. Down below, metal clanging against metal faintly rang out. Probably late maintenance on the castle foundations. That, or the Thwomps were getting restless again.
"I think," Peach said, "you should talk to him."
Immediately, Bowser bristled again. "I can't."
"Wh—" Peach blinked. "Why not?"
"I can't," gruffed the Koopa king. "It's been too long. Not gonna do much at this point."
Peach sighed, a barely audible sound. Bowser was fully turned away now. "Bowser…" she said to his shell. "You're a horrible liar, you know."
Bowser froze, but remained silent.
The princess folded her arms and leaned against the bars of her cage. "So what is the real reason you don't want to talk to Junior about it?"
Still, Bowser was quiet. Peach was quiet as well, having approximated the reason already. She thought it best for him to say it with his own words.
…
…
…Okay, this was taking too long.
"You're afraid of how he'll react."
Bowser flinched. Yep.
Peach sighed again and shook her head. "Bowser," she began softly. "You, of all people, should know better than anyone that Junior looks up to you. To hear you say that will mean so much to him. He'll understand. You said it yourself. If he's forgiven you, then you must be doing something right."
"It's not just that," said Bowser after a pause. "Delfino kinda opened my eyes, y'know? This was the first big scheme we worked on together. Now that he's a little older… I need… I need to leave something behind for Junior. A legacy."
"He'll be proud of your honesty. And to be honest about that, now that he's old enough to understand, will raise you even higher in his eyes." If appealing to his better nature didn't work, Peach found, then appealing to his ego would always do the trick. "If he's going to take the throne someday, I think that's vital. Don't you?"
"Something he can be proud of…" Bowser's gaze was pensive, seemingly staring into the distance. Peach followed his line of sight towards the red roof of Peach's castle, barely a speck on the horizon.
Ah. Of course. "Something, meaning, conquest of my kingdom."
Bowser turned to her, grinning widely. "Exactly!"
Peach couldn't help rolling her eyes. "What?" Bowser asked, quirking an eyebrow. "Hey, you're here for advice, but I'm still the bad guy, y'know."
Yep. Same old Bowser. "I think," Peach said, clapping her hands once, "we should move on to the last key: humility!"
"Humility?" Bowser parroted. "Well, that sounds dumb. I'm a king. I should be proud of my kingdom and my people! And I am! Look at this." He swept a massive claw around at their surroundings; the castle, the lava moat below, the very kingdom the building stood on. "See how impressive this is? I have every reason to be proud!"
Peach shook her head. "That's not what I mean when I say humility. I mean understanding that even though you're doing well for yourself, you don't have to brag about it. For example, look at Mario—"
At mere mention of the man's name, the Koopa king got up brusquely, his snout twisted into a snarl, and a deep growl erupted from his throat, matching the trails of smoke that puff angrily from his nostrils. "Last thing I wanna do is look at that nerdly plumber."
Peach ignored him. "Look at Mario—"
"Ughhhhh."
"I know, I know, but really look at him. He's humble, and modest, and sweet…"
"Uuuughhhhhh."
"…And I lo—people love him." The correction wasn't quite quick enough, a pink tinge spreading across Peach's face. "Other people, the Toads, even me… we all look up to him."
Bowser snorted, and decided to change the subject from someone he would very much not like to think about to someone he was always ready to talk about: himself. "And so what? My troops like me plenty! They look up to me, too! Because I'm awesome!"
Peach frowned. "That may be true—"
"Ah, so you admit it!" Bowser's face was alight with vindication.
Her frown deepened at the interruption. "That may be true, but…" Peach gestured with her hands, trying to find the right words. "It's easy to get caught up in your own ego, especially when you're in a position of power. But if you want to be respected, you have to be able to put your ego aside and listen to others. That's not always easy, but it's important."
Bowser slid a narrowed gaze to the princess. "Are you saying my troops don't respect me?"
"Oh, no, no, no. Quite the opposite, actually," Peach said. "I'm simply stating that if you were a little more empathetic, if you tried to listen a bit more, and tried to control your ego—" she gestured at a stone statue of Bowser on the far wall— "Maybe your followers would respect you that much more."
"Okay, well, first of all, that's a really nice statue," said Bowser. "And second, is this gonna be about Delfino again? Because so help me—"
"Oh, no." Peach shook her head. "I think you've had enough in that regard."
"Good. Thank goodness."
"But the rest of what I'm saying still stands," she continued. "I said earlier that humility is the most important aspect of being a good leader, and I meant it. It's the foundation. You don't have to worry about looking foolish or inexperienced, and likewise, it takes courage to be humble and admit that you don't have all the answers. And you can be honest, really honest with each other, and they will be honest with you in return." Peach's face was aglow with real passion, the way it does when one knows what they're talking about and believes it with their whole heart. "And the best part is, it's never too late to start."
Bowser's first thought was that the princess sounded like a line from a self-help book. But there was something in her voice and in her eyes, something real and genuine and earnest, that made his sarcastic reply die on his tongue. But on the other hand, he did have his bad guy image to keep up, and all that being vulnerable with her had taken a lot out of him. But on the other other hand, it would kinda fly in the face of everything Peach had said, and he was genuinely grateful for her advice, as much as he didn't want to admit it.
Honesty, huh? Well, in that case…
"So, if I do what you said," he asked, "it'll help me beat Mario?"
In spite of the gloved hand that met Peach's forehead and dragged its way down the rest of her face, the smallest of smiles played on her lips. It made Bowser's mouth go dry and certain fluttering somethings made themselves known in the pit of his stomach.
"Maybe," she laughed lightly. (Obviously not, Peach thought, but if it put him on the right path… A spoonful of sugar, and all that.)
"Aw, yeah!" Bowser got up and roared, a mighty, resounding, full-throated roar that shook the walls and caused pebbles to fall from the ceiling. "Just you wait! I'm gonna be an innovator! I will have that Koopa-to-Koopa talk with Junior! I'll be the best, most emotional open Koopa king on the planet, and ain't no one is gonna—"
"Sire! Sire!"
Both king and princess turned to the voice's owner, a Koopa Troopa stumbling into the room. From the scratches on his green shell, the sheen of sweat on his brow, and the way he nearly tripped as he reached Bowser, it was clear something important was happening.
Bowser's face hardened into a gruff exterior almost instantaneously. "What do you want?"
"I… The…" The Koopa Troopa paused as he gasped for breath. "They—gah—they're here… Muh-Mario brothers…"
"Mario?!" cried Bowser. ("Mario…!" gasped Peach.)
"They came a lot faster than we expected!" explained the Koopa. "They're marching on the castle right now!"
"What?!" Bowser whirled around to face Peach for a split second, then back at the Koopa. "Well, then, what're you doing here?! Ready the troops!"
"Yes, sire! Right away, sire!" squeaked the Koopa Troopa, and away he scurried.
Bowser growled as the Koopa left and the doors slammed shut. "That plumber… always showing up at the worst times…" He turned back to Peach. "I don't know what you see in that guy."
Peach smiled serenely. "He's humble and compassionate."
Bowser's eyes rolled almost audibly. "Whatever. Well!" He straightened up and pounded a fist into a palm. "Time to go stomp on some plumbers!" He stomped away and opened the doors, letting the torches' light (and a blast of warm air) drift in.
Peach watched him go, rotating his shoulders and cracking his knuckles. He stopped in the doorway, his massive silhouette a contrast to the light from outside. Familiar, accented voices cried out in the distance. Bowser cleared his throat, the way one does when one has something difficult to say. Peach's hand pulled at one of her gloves.
"Hey…" Whatever the king was going to say, it was taking a lot of effort, and not strictly the physical type. "Thanks. For the advice."
Peach smiled at him, a real smile this time. "You are more than welcome. I do hope you'll have that talk with Junior sometime."
Bowser grinned, his sharp teeth flashing. "You bet I will! With your advice, Junior and all of my troops are gonna do me proud! And just you watch. The Mushroom Kingdom is gonna be in the palm of my hand. Those pasta punk Mario brothers will never know what hit 'em! Gwa ha ha ha ha!"
Peach could only shake her head as she watched Bowser go, the doors slamming shut behind him. Some things, it seemed, never changed.
Author's Notes: Happy Valentine's Day. :)