A Mad Scientist Plays By Their Own Rules:
Losing an arm had been a difficult adjustment for someone as egotistical as Captain Kid. Barely surviving that clash had been a traumatic blow to the entire crew. Pacifist my ass...
The cut had occurred just at the left elbow, severing the brachial artery, the kind of injury that could easily lead to death from blood loss. There was so much blood it took three transfusions just to get his body stable. Fuck that red-haired bastard! We'll retreat for now, but I will have my revenge one day.
Quincy, his ships doctor and Pomp, his field medic, had managed to patch him up, but the left side of his face was scarred badly, as was his torso and right arm. Six days went by before he came to. The odd phantom limb feeling was the most confusing and frustrating experience of his life. He kept trying to do things with his shitty nub.
It had been a humiliating loss. The next two islands his crew visited in the New World suffered greatly as a result of his rage. Fuck whose protection you're under! Killer yelled at him for throwing a tantrum, resulting in the dumbest shouting match in all of the four seas. For some reason, bonking that yellow furball over his stupid masked head with nubby had been gratifying as fuck. It was hard to stay mad after that.
It took months getting used to his prosthesis and it hurt like a bitch the first time he connected it. The design itself was a bit clunky, which was fine for battle, but difficult for everyday tasks like eating, bathing, and dressing. The journey had been mortifying. Killer had been a godsend but it was unfair to expect him to do everything... well he was closer to everyone as a result, he thought his ears matching the same red as his hair.
By the third island, a small winter island, Eustass Kid had recovered enough to feel like his old self again. And by that we mean cocky. "What's the name of this place?" Kid shouted, using his brass spyglass to scope out the nearing landmass, his tongue sticking out as he did so.
"Yuki no Namida. We should hit the shore in about an hour and a half. I'm afraid that's all I know," said Reck, his navigator. An hour later the Victoria Punk was a flurry of activity, with all hands on deck ready to explore the unfamiliar territory. Everyone bundled up, the chill evident even before they set foot on dry land. The Captain himself buttoned up his large coat, teeth chattering already.
"Fuck my tits are freezing," Dive, a petite woman with pigtails complained, wrapping her small arms around herself.
"What tits?" Jaguar wheezed. A loud smack was delivered to the large man's head, quiet snickering and muffling laughter soon following.
Stocking the ship would need to be done before they left in six days when the log pose set, but for now, it was time to enjoy the sights. The Kid Pirates comprised of thirty crewmembers, including himself. They alternated who got to explore an island first, with ten people receiving half a day out, five people guarding the ship while five explored before they switched. Kid hated to leave Vicky all by her lonesome. The other twenty were free to do as they pleased all day. Tomorrow the groups would change privileges. After separating supply money for later, Kid had Bubblegum, his treasurer, distribute some loot for everyone. After that, it only took fifteen minutes for the seasoned crew to get the ship port ready.
Standing proudly atop the skull on his ship's bow, Kid addressed his people, "Alright you assholes, go have some damn fun, maybe find a body to keep warm with or some really good booze! No rules other than check back by nightfall!" Loud cheers met his declaration, his namaka dashing off, glad their Captain was finally in a good mood.
With that thought in mind, Kid headed to what appeared to be a small town. A tavern was up ahead, the smell of alcohol and soft music giving it away. Killer, Heat, Wire, and Emma trailed after him, just as eager to get out of the cold. These were his top five commanders. The group chose a table near the back, Killer placing their order at the bar. "Just keep the refills coming till we leave," he grunted out to the rather frightened barkeep.
A pretty brunette waitress dropped off their large order in a flash, shaking from head to toe, like some sniveling mouse, eager to scamper away. Kid scowled, slamming his glass of whiskey down, "Che. What a little bitch, can't even do her job properly."
His men chuckled, greedily enjoying their drinks. "You don't think she was cute boss?" Heat asked, eyeing the timid woman.
The redhead rolled his eyes. "Some chickenshit bitch? Naw, she'd probably faint before I even got within three feet of her," he waved dismissively.
"Well if you're not calling dibs, I think I'll try my luck with her," Emma winked, sauntering over to the bar, the cheers of her friends following her.
That poor waitress, Killer thought, with a shake of his head, watching the girl blush at whatever Emma said.
By the time night had fallen, Eustass Kid and his first mate were plastered, stumbling back to the ship drunk off their asses, singing off key, and leaning on one another. People always assumed Killer was the more level headed of the two, but they were best friends for a reason, being more alike than most people realized. Besides Kid hadn't sensed any powerful presence of the island and they all needed to unwind.
Emma was just as drunk, her makeup smudged and hair tousled from her little make-out session. Heat and Wire weren't in much better shape. They barely made it to the deck, passing our slightly off to the side, snores escaping their mouths seemingly instantly.
House and UK sighed, lugging their friends into their respective rooms. "Should've let these heavy bastards freeze to death," the large man grumbled.
"Fuck no, 'member the last time they got sick?! The Captain's a shithead to take care of. And don't get me started on Killer," House laughed loudly. "But honestly, its good to see him acting like himself again."
Those nearby nodded their heads, several of them tipsy. The Kid Pirates worked hard and played even harder. With your life on the line, you may as well go big or go home.
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Kid woke up with a start, his right arm grasping his pounding head. Shit, how much did I drink? Tutting to himself, he hefted his bulky body over to his in-suite bathroom to survey the damage. Smudged make-up and a grimy appearance greeted the tall man, who sighed. His Haki had sensed a commotion off in the distance, which is what jolted him awake, but with his hangover, he needed a minute to properly function. Some Irish coffee and a quick rinse off were in order. Hopping under the shower's spray, he got lost in his thoughts.
The fight with the Red-Haired Pirates had one silver lining. That battle taught him how to sense others. In the haze of bloodloss and anger, his priority had been his crew, only finally passing out when he sensed them all nearby and the other pirates leaving. Kenbunshoku-Haki was damn useful.
Toweling off his body and getting dressed, Kid headed to the gallery. Hopefully someone already had coffee going. I could feel rage and pleasure dripping off someone in the distance. It's intoxicating.
Sitting down at his usual spot by he door, Hip rushed over with a steaming mug of coffee. "Here ya go boss," she said with a smile. Soon a full plate of eggs, sausage, toast, and fried potatoes patties greeted him.
His crew informed him that whilst the island was small, it still had a medium sized naval base situated on the Western peninsula serving as a restocking hub. A marine ship had arrived in the wee hours of the morning. Whoever was fighting was targeting the marines. Some crazy bastard, he grinned to himself.
Today was a a great deal warmer than yesterday, the snow having stopped sometime last night. The redheaded man sensed small flickers of light being extinguished by what felt like a bloodthirsty typhoon. "Looks like someone is having a party without us," he chuckled darkly, licking his lips. There weren't any ships in the harbor to indicate another crew, so what crazy fuck was rampaging on their own? Scarfing down a large breakfast left me feeling energized, all traces of the previous night gone. "You feel that shit Killer?"
The masked man grunted in reply, still very much hungover and slurping food down through the holes of his mask. "Someone's been busy for a while now. That's some endurance," Kid whistled, abruptly standing and heading out to the deck.
Purple sparks sizzled, electromagnetic pulses vaulting me forward to investigate. Vaguely, I heard Killer shout after me, but it was so rare to encounter a rage that mimicked my own. Flying high above the snow dusted treetops, I heard the cries of the damned well before I witnessed the carnage. The entire Eastern wall of the building was knocked over, the marines trying in vain to crowd behind the few stones left, firing with their rifles. Kid looked to where they aimed, spotting a small dude, wearing a long loose lab coat with a triangle shaped hood. A high collar masked the lower half of the guy's face and a pair of green googles covered their eyes. Said tiny fucker was punching the shit out his enemies, striking them in their throats, chests, and heads. One punch and the little shit is killing them?! That's one hell of an arm. Probably using precise blows, but still. He'd make a fine subordinate.
A flurry of throws later, and it was quiet. "There's at least over two hundred bodies littering the ground Kid," said Killer, readying his Punishers just in case. Why does he have to go looking for trouble so early in the morning? Not everyone recovers from a hangover so quickly.
The muscular man practically beamed, clutching his fist, "Yeah a base this size usually has about five hundred men. All I can feel is that shorty's power. What a fucking beast!"
Wire's face grimaced more than usual, "He's going to invite that psycho to join our crew isn't he?"
A sweat drop formed on Killer's mask. The blonde man knew that happy shit eating grin and greedy-eyed look anywhere. His Captain had found something he wanted. Such a child...
Hopping down from their perch, Kid skidded several feet behind his newest find. "Yo midget!"
Killer's sweat drop grew even larger. What a tactless asshole...
A small head turned to the gaze up at the large redhead trudging ever nearer. "These are my corpses," hissed a high pitched voice, defensively putting their arms out. Why is a supernova on this island? There's jackshit here. "And I ain't no damn midget!"
Now it was the Captain's turn to sweat drop. Fucking weirdo. "I don't want a bunch of dead asswipes. What do you need 'em for anyway?" he asked, genuinely curious.
"Research," was the single word response given with a huff.
Kid turned around to face the four namaka that had currently caught up, his eyes sparkling even more. Wire sighed heavily. Dammit boss.
A scientist? This was like winning the lottery. Not even all the bigshots had their own scientist. Hell he heard Caesar Clown sold his services to the highest bidder, meaning a good enough scientist was powerful enough to turn down a Yonko. Vinsmoke Judge ruled over Germa 66 in North Blue with his scientifically engineered army. Scientists were big shit. Don't know who this guy was, but he did just take out a whole base singlehandedly. Guess he's an up and comer just like me.
Killer surveyed the carnage, surprised at how orderly the chaos was. A concentrated punch to the spinal cord or heart would end a life but that's an incredible level of precision. "Did you attack an entire naval base by yourself?"
"Do you see anybody else twat waffle?" a high pitched voice answered.
Deciding to ignore the insult, the scythe wielding man sighed, "Why?" Taking on this entire base is lunacy. And it appears that the attack was unprovoked.
"Hate marines. These piss-ants are an affront to science. I see a marine, I collect a corpse, no exceptions," explained the squat man, crossing his arms over his chest.
"Even the doctors?" Heat asked softly, thinking a healer might be spared.
A voice trembled in disbelief, "Especially the doctors. Why the fuck would I leave the government with such a valuable resource for its tyranny? I take from them the way they take from everyone-without a single fuck given."
Eyebrows rose in response. "While I have no lost love for the marines, how are they an affront to science?"
Never being one to pass up an opportunity to shit on the government, the little guy gleefully explained, "An educated populous would spell the end for the top dogs way of life so they keep people stupid. Why do you think books are so hard to find? And science? You have to join secret societies and follow all their dipshit rules for a single crumb of knowledge. All the information the World Government has is guarded with upmost secrecy. When they discover places where knowledge congregates, they destroy it. Ohara is the big one, but there's been several secret labs that have suffered the same fate. Thus science that they don't explicitly control is banned. And all the scientists that work for them are really just glorified slaves whose creations are used to wreak havoc and keep civilians licking at the soles of their boots. Now I'm no heroic do-gooder; that shit means nothing to me in the grand scheme of things, but I rather be dead than a government bitch. I conduct science for myself. They want to pick a fight with me fine, fuck it, all or nothing. Its not like they hold back against me, so I destroy all naval ships, bases, outposts, anything and everything. I'll gut a little recruit with no hesitation," proudly stated the scientist.
Kid turned to his first-mate, the two silently communicating. This is our kind of people Killer. By this time, the others had made it to the occupied clearing, Emma catching them up quietly. They silently watched the scientist drag about fifty or so bodies into a pile before pulling a vial of deep blue liquid out of their lab coat, practically skipping over and dousing the mound. A few seconds later, the bodies convulsed and melted into a dark puddle.
Mouths fell open and a few weaker willed people gagged. Captain Kid's grin grew larger, fascinated by the turn of events. Small purple gloves were raised into the air, as the guy's right hand turned some kind of knob on the end of his sleeves. The gloves cackled and dove right into the 'people jelly,' which began pulsing and condensing into a smaller and smaller mass.
"What in the fuck is he doing?" Hop murmured, slightly creeped out.
"I have no idea but its freaky as shit," Papas whispered, eyes glued to the spectacle.
A few minutes pass and all that's left are dark purple crystals on the ground. "Just three, what a bunch of losers," the small body grumbled. Waste of my damn time. Hopefully I score at least a dozen of these suckers, otherwise I'm stuck at this shit-stain island for the time being.
Faster than such a large man should be able to move, Kid snatched up a crystal holding it to the light. It felt ominous, no light making it sparkle. Just a deep void...
"Put that down!" screeched the scientist, reaching for the stolen item.
But Kid was tall, and lifted it just out of reach, with a smirk. "What is it?"
Unbeknownst to him, he had done of the few things that really set this inventor off. Touching shit that you know nothing of. "I ain't telling you a damn thing. Now hand it over before you hurt yourself, you moron," the smaller of the two huffed. Why do all tall people pull that crap? I ought to shin kick him so hard.
Amber eyes shot up, black lips curling into a snarl. Unlike his first-mate, insults didn't do over to well. "I don't think you know who you're talking to, you manner-less cocksucker," Kid's deep baritone growled, his ire rising.
But the scientist was petty, with a childish streak a mile long. "I know exactly who you are, Used Ass Captain Kiddy," a high pitched voice teased. So what he's a big shot. I'm in no mood to be held up. This island was a bust and I'm hungry. Either he leaves or he dies. I have no patience for bullshit.
Mouths dropped out at the guy's taunt. That poor dumbass is dead they all thought. Kid saw red, his amber eyes twitching. This disrespectful little shit! "Che, think you're funny, wise guy?"
"Yeah about as funny as your mug is ugly," the scientist jeered. I heard he's got quite the temper.
Kid's burgundy lips furled into a grimace. His partner in crime sighed. Our visit here started off so peaceful. "Kid scientist's are a different breed. They don't fight fairly. We don't know what that blue liquid will do to you. Drop it."
"You should listen to girlfriend asshole," the scientist said, placing its hands on their hips in a taunting manner. Girlfriend?! Killer seethed, slipping on his arm guards.
But something was off. That stance and tone made something clicked in Kid's brain. "You're a woman?!" he gasped. Fearless mouthy bitch.
With a sigh and roll of her eyes, she answered, "And? I don't need a dick to whip someone into submission. What not going to fight me now?" the woman mocked. The crew's eyebrows' rose until they disappeared.
Never one to shy away from a fight, a large metal hand rose in response, ready to crush that bitch like a bug. The woman grinned underneath her coat, quickly dodging and flashing right in front of his stupid face, punching the man directly in his throat. Kid's massive neck was thrown back, but he managed to remain upright. Color me impressed, that kills most bastards, she thought with a sadistic grin.
"Boss!" several voices shouted in alarm.
As she readied herself for another throw, the sound of whirling blades interrupted her, her booted leg barely reaching out to block a strike from the tall shaggy blonde. She was pushed back quite a bit, having to flip away. "You were aiming to kill," grunted Killer angrily. Straight for the kill, no preamble. Viscous little thing she is.
"Well duh, you ass clown. How's it a victory if your opponent is still kicking?" I have work to do. Efficient kills are best. And you weren't aiming for any less, ya damn brute.
Kid meanwhile was furious. Static electricity whizzed though the air, the long forgotten rifles of the marines shooting into the air and firing at will. It was too bad there wasn't much metal around. But the shots didn't pierce her body, the long coat acting as light weight armor. Instead to the devil-fruits user's chagrin, the bullets ricochet off her body. She's immune to bullets? I wonder if she's a fruit user? Pfft, well she can't dodge this, he figured, a large arm grabbing her by the scruff of her neck and slamming her head into the frosted terrain. "That hurt you cock-eyed bitch," huffed Kid, tilting his neck to pop it. What a punch, I couldn't breathe. Little bitch shouldn't be able to generate that much force.
A few drops of blood dripped from under her now cracked goggles. She had been momentarily distracted by the gunfire to realize he snuck up on her. "You ogre!" she bellowed, rippling her goggles off, revealing deep brown almond eyes. God-dammit, he's worth every beli of his ridiculous bounty. I can't even remember the last time someone made me bleed. Its been a minute since I had to use a weapon, but fuck it, this raging cunt is pushing my buttons.
The lab coat she designed had several functions, one of which was the dispersal of force. So if an opponent hit her, a gel like substance contained between the specialized synthetic fibers help to protect the wearer by a margin of forty-two percent. Dropping the blow received down to only fifty-eight percent of total force exerted. That meant that this redheaded bully was insanely strong. What the fuck do they feed this colossal bastard?! Reaching into her pockets, a pair of royal blue knuckles were soon drawn.
Kid smirked, calling on his power, only to be disappointed when they didn't come to him. A non-metallic alloy? Killer felt the bloodthirsty aura the woman emitted and decided to jump in, his blades swinging in the air. She was just as fast though, blocking both of his strikes, but in terms of raw power, he was stronger, pushing her down into the ground. The blonde moved to kick her with his right leg, only to be blocked by her left. Using her tiny size to her advantage, she hefted both feet onto his knee, balancing with one leg and kicking him in the stomach with the other. He grunted, that kick had hurt, but they were in a deadlock. At least they were until she started kicking his right flank repeatedly, aiming for the same spot each time. He never thought of a small stature as an advantage. Fucking hard to hit shrimp. She's going to break my ribs soon.
A metal hand clamped over her skull pulling her backwards into a hard chest. Killer staggered back, clutching at his right side. The woman shrieked, the force on her cranium making her squirm. Kid smirked, a manic grin overtaking his features. The screams of an enemy got his blood going in exhilaration. He could feel her wrath practically oozing out. I'll squeeze till your skull pops. Scream some more.
Grinding her teeth, she swung her right leg back aiming for his liver. A sharp intake of breath let her know she was successful. She took aim again making Kid's hold on her loosen just enough for her to twist her body, slipping away and landing roughly. Mother-fucker was going to crack my skull like a coconut.
The small lady ran forward meeting a metal hand with her knuckles, the flame-headed man already recovered enough to throw down. Who gets moving after being kicked in the liver twice? Fucking monster man. She stretched her other arm up only to be stopped by his fleshy one. But that's the outcome she was counting on. Kid suddenly felt drained, his arm being pushed back. "They're some kind of Seastone!" he shouted angrily. Why are they blue then?
She leaned forward and aimed a kick at the brute's head. He sunk down onto one knee, hissing out in pain. The crew was getting worried. As a rule, they never jumped into the fray when Kid and Killer were fighting. It was just too dangerous, but this psycho was something else. Heat decided to take the lead, fire spewing forth from his mouth, engulfing her body. Unfortunately for him, her coat was flame retardant, a necessity for conducting dangerous experiments. She hissed, and lunged at flamethrower's face, socking him right in the jaw. He fell onto his knees, blood trickling out of his mouth. She hits like a man.
Just as she was bout to kick this blue-haired punks teeth in, a large katana swung down, narrowly missing her right arm. "Die you evil bitch!" Boogie shouted, getting into a battle stance. Several other weapons raised in response, their respective owners charging after the lone enemy. "Protect the Captain!" Breathing heavily, she swayed slightly, the fight having pushed her to more nefarious options.
There's too many of these damn clowns. Stronger than the marine fodder I just dealt with. Do I use my liquification serum or just the paralysis fumes? Some of them may be rare specimens worth using...I guess just the paralysis fumes for now. I can just kill them afterwards if they prove to be a disappointment. That redheaded bastard is going to suffer though.
Mind made up, she turned the dial on her left glove and shot out a cloudy mist. Luckily they were all fairly close to one another. The crew started coughing in pain, the smarter ones making an attempt to cover their faces with their hands or sleeves, but the particle size of the gas molecules could easily bypass such barriers. Won't do you any good, even if you hold your breath, she thought snidely.
Kid, Killer, Wire, Emma, and Dive were the only ones to get away from the noxious fumes. "You no good bastard. What did you do them?" Emma shrieked, wanting desperately to check on her fallen comrades but not wanting to get caught up in the gas.
Killer starting spinning his scythes, blowing the cloud away from everyone, praying it helped and that whenever she got them with wasn't fatal. This is why we don't fuck with shit we don't understand.
Dive meanwhile shot forward, biting down on the scientists arm. "Who the fuck bites?!" she yelled, trying vainly to shake her arm free. What the hell are her teeth made of, steel?! Cunt-tastic day I'm having. These asshats have an answer to all my attacks. They're going to make have to resort to that. "Wanna play rough do you?" she giggled, a bit of mania leaking into her voice.
That giggle made the skin on Kid's neck crawl. Something about this woman was off. Her skin bubbled, making Dive squeal and let go, the sensation burning the petite's woman's mouth. The lab coat, gloves, and boots fell to the forest floor and in its place an amorphous dark pink blob was bouncing.
Kid scoffed, "What like I'm afraid of some jelly monster?" he laughed loudly, but before he could properly react, a jellied appendage shot out, engulfing his head, chocking him. He flailed wildly, trying to pull her away to no avail. He called forth all the discarded guns and formed them into a giant hand. But try as he might, the hand just got stuck in the jelly. When he pushed it down, intent on smashing the bitch, the jelly flattened, but just oozed upwards back at him. Fuck she's immune to crushing.
Sensing how dangerous she was in this form, Killer dashed forward only to have his blades imbed themselves in the sticky blob. Ripping his arms back, he prepared to attack again, but this time using his immense speed to produce soundwaves, a move which he hoped would make her splatter apart. He was rewarded with a wheeze as Kid gulped in air, the gelatinous monstrosity spread all over the ground.
Wire hesitantly poked at a glob with his trident. "Think she's dead?"
"Good riddance. My mouth burns," complained Dive, sticking out her tongue. I need water!
"You shouldn't put strange shit in your mouth then!" Wire shouted.
The pigtailed woman frowned and started piling snow into her mouth. "DON'T EAT SNOW! ITS DIRTY YOU IDIOT!"
"But its helping..." she wailed, steam coming from her lips.
"That seemed like a last resort kind of move, so we should be alright," Emma reasoned with a sigh. She went over to her namaka, checking for a pulse from Heat. It was faint but there. She moved to look over another fallen member, hoping everyone was alright.
Killer was hitting Kid on the back, forcing air back into the bulky man's lungs. "Nice job. Stupid bitch didn't stand a chance," the redhead congratulated. "Still kind of a shame, her power was cool as fuck."
The blonde man sighed. He'd probably want her to join more now, if she was still amongst the living that is. Fucking giant child and his love of dangerous things. Next thing they knew the tiny bits of jelly had somehow grown in size, reforming into a giant version. "Its just a jelly monster, what's there to be afraid of," mimicked the massacre soldier to the annoyance of his Captain.
Standing up slowly the duo prepared for another round with the other three flanking them. But this scientist was at her wits end. I am losing valuable time screwing around with these imbeciles. Their determination is commendable, but this is pissing me off. Using her size to distract her foes, her sticky body picked up her discarded gloves, and as her adversary's dashed forward she sprayed them right in the face with the same fumes that had gotten their friends. No getting away this time, she thought as the five of them fell over. Finally. Now where are my clothes?
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I will be having fun with this one. Taking what little we have of Kid and fleshing him out. Quick note we fans only know 22 of the 31 members of Kid's crew so I took the liberty of fabricating the other 9 with this lovely scientist being the 31st. Any name that's not on the wiki is mine-I'm working on a character sheet with all 31 and their assigned duties like doctor, etc. I will be making use of all of them; they just look so interesting. I hate how Oda said their names don't matter in his SBS; I'm hoping he was just trolling. This nerd needs info.
Kid is described as being very similar to Luffy in a lot of ways, just more vulgar and violent. I'm running with that and painting this canvas red. Luffy is selfish, childish, stubborn, loud, and incredibly protective of what he sees as his. I believe Kid is just the same with a bit more flair, no conveniently placed mentors, and no plot armor. In Wano, he seemed less full of rage then the reports on him suggested at Sabaody. So either he was never as violent as he made out to be he or he got a better hold on his emotions during the two year time skip. I believe it was a combo of those two theories. I mean he didn't even try and kill Apoo after everything, even though he was the whole reason the Kid pirates suffered under Kaido and Killer ate that SMILE. Killer on the other hand seemed to kill Hawkins or at least mortally wound him. We still don't know his fate.
I am an egotistical melomaniac who feeds on reviews. Thanks in advance.