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Kid didn't know how much time had passed, but he woke up to seeing the scientist a few feet away, grumbling to herself. Fuck only nine crystals. There's still some bodies left inside the base. And this damn fight cost me my goggles. Where am I going to get the materials to replace them on this shithole? she thought sadly, stuffing the damaged pair into her coat pocket.

The pale man noticed all the marines were gone and the woman was back to her normal size wearing her lab coat again. His men were scattered about, all of them still. He had been moved over twenty feet away from anyone, his coat covered in snow. She dragged me though this gross snowy sludge. He sneezed.

Delicate fingers twitched in anticipation. "Finally! Was wondering if your loser ass died," she goaded, turning around to the sound.

"Fuck you. What did you do to my namaka?!" He could still sense them but he had no idea what exactly this crazy fuck subjected them to. His body was heavy and from his face down position on the ground, it was a strain just to lift his head up.

She skipped to stand over him, enjoying looking down on the giant of a man. "Nothing so far but now that those pretty eyes are open the fun begins. I'll sort your men into two groups one to be done in the same way as those shitty marines and the more interesting ones to be dissected. Who knows, I may come across something useful."

"You can take me, do whatever, but they didn't do shit to you," Captain Kid snapped. Just have to keep her distracted till I think of something. Fuck I can't move.

The mad woman crouched down to the ground, lifting his head up in her palm. "You are in position to bargain. What I'm going leave them because they're helpless? I'm a criminal for fucks sake," she deadpanned.

This woman was a monster. Vaguely he thought of the crew he impaled on crucifixes the second he made it to the New World. He hadn't listened to their pleas, said it was cowardly for them to expect mercy. Why should he expect it from anyone? Still he'd try and bargain for their sakes. It was a captain's duty to go down with his ship, not his crews. He had chosen to underestimate her because she was small, a costly mistake. Had I come out swinging, she'd be the one of the ground.

Ripping his face out of her grasp, Kid said though clenched teeth, "I have treasure on my ship, just let them go."

"Naw a pirate with loot on their ship, I'd have never known," her sarcastic voice filled the air. "I've seen your bounty; I should hope you have a nice stash on your ship. Was already planning on raiding it, the same way I would a marine ship. I don't leave evidence of my crimes Eustass. No bodies, no bounty."

Kid's eyes bulged out of his head as the implications of her cold words set in. He howled with rage, teeth gnashing, "I'll kill you! Get away from them!" His body struggled, the gas from earlier still holding him hostage.

It was this that made her pause. He cares for them. This bozo shouldn't be coherent already. I'm actually surprised by how quickly he recovered. And he's moving...none of them should be and yet I can clearly see most of them twitching. They're fairly durable, probably a result of strenuous training. She studied the pirates vainly spasming on the ground, a greedy realization dawning in her eyes. He's motivating them. Whether by his concern or anger, he's motivating them to try their damnedest. Hmm, interesting. Might be worth an experiment, she thought joyfully, her mind concocting a cruel plan.

Humming in excitement, she sprang up and quickly separated all the fallen pirates by a few feet, angling them in such a manner as to prevent them from seeing one another. Every time she touched one of them, they blinked up at her angrily, making an attempt to somehow hurt her. Their tenacity is astounding. Now hold still, I need the results to be blind, otherwise they don't count.

She walked over to a random crewmember and squatted down, whispering with a mocking tone, "If I promise to leave your 'precious' namaka alive, will you agree to die slowly and painfully after swallowing one of newest inventions? I haven't had a chance to test it." Bubblegum, a tall man with spiky zigzag hair, stuck his tongue out, leaning towards the gloved hand holding a small yellow pill. No fear, no hesitation. "It will take a while. Goodbye," she muttered, dropping the pill into his mouth. Immediately his long limbs began to shudder, a silent strangled cry escaping his lips.

Kid's eyes bulged out of his head, an inhuman roar the force of which caused her body to shake in bubbling excitement. Conquers Haki? Sweet fuck...I have to continue this now. I don't think I'll ever get the chance again. Six years I've searched for a group worthy of my skills. Six lonely years and hell I'd just about wrote it off as a lost cause. And these numskulls all took that blast without a flinch. I'd hate to see what they could do if they weren't paralyzed right now.

Kid was a mess, that burst draining him even further but still he tried to inch his way towards her. The litany of profanities and threats that he shouted would make a lesser being retreat. But it only encouraged this mad woman to press forward.

The short woman righted herself and then posed the same offer to every crewmember, asking them softly to prevent the others from hearing. The only strange one had been Killer who stuck his tongue out of a hole in his mask, making her sweat drop.

A few of them were able to use Haki to confirm that their friends were indeed still alive. For the ones that weren't, they only hoped the psychotic woman was being truthful, not being in any position to stop the mad woman and knowing she could easily force them to take whatever she wanted. A chance was better than nothing. Hearing the Captain though encouraged them that at least he was alive.

Each person she disposed of caused Kid to shout out in anguish, believing she had killed them. Elation rose slowly, bubbling up to a positively demented grin in the woman's face. They all accepted the deal, praying against all logic I'd honor my words. They're brave, I'll give them that. Loyal as all hell too. Dumb as fuck though. Still the most formidable bunch I've come across so far. They might be good enough to consider...

"You'll pay!" the large man screeched, tears rolling down his red eyes, his thoughts too jumbled to process.

Crying? Ooh...tough enough to show his feelings. "Now now. Calm down, you big crybaby. I have some questions," she cooed.

"Why the hell would I answer you?!" the redhead shouted in disbelief, his mind whirling, trying to find a way out of this. What kind of shit luck do I have?! We just got over the battle with the Redhairs and now this? FUCK! Where's the fairness in life?! I'm sorry guys...

So angry. So raw. So honest. It's beautiful. I suppose I should put him out of his misery already, but I like watching him suffer. She waited a few minutes, sadistically enjoying his torment. "No one's actually dead yet asshole. The gas I used only knocks them out and the pill I offered was the antidote to that coupled with a sleeping agent to facilitate the process. The spasms are just a temporary side effect. It will take awhile for them to regain full feeling of their limbs, but there's nothing wrong with them that wasn't already," she snickered, a dark twinge of madness sneaking in her tone. "Now down to business. Answer me and maybe if I like your responses I'll let them go," the small woman demanded.

The pale man froze at her words, frantically trying to focus. Had he not been so preoccupied with fighting and being angry, he might have thought to check sooner. To his relief, they were all there. The guys are ok? "Then why the fuck did you have me believe they were dead," he grit out, embarrassed at his outburst. This evil ass cock-sucking goblin made me cry! She'll pay for each tear in blood.

"I'm an asshole," she answered honestly to his shock. "And I was conducting a social experiment," she said, telling them the deal she offered his crew. Part of him was angry she tormented them like that but another part of his was proud of the solidarity that existed within his crew.

Kid stilled, willing himself to calm down for their sake. It took him several minutes. "What do you want to know?" Maybe I can distract her. Deep breathes. Don't think too hard.

She plopped down crossed leg in front of him. "I've heard you use electromagnetism to built stuff. Why didn't you make any mech today besides that arm?" I would have loved to see what the jiki-jiki no mi is capable of.

"I need metal to work with idiot. Those little peashooters weren't enough to really do anything with," he answered automatically. What's she looking for?

"Where'd you learn the engineering skills to do that?" That kind of natural talent is hard to come by. He's smarter than his oafish appearance suggests.

A ghost of a smirk flashed on his face, "I'm self taught, trial and error. A few books I found here and there, harassing an old mechanic back home. Nothing fancy," he said flippantly while discreetly trying to flex his hands, forcing feeling back into his body. I'm going punch yer lights out.

Smart enough to learn the complex math and nature of magnetism all on his own. What a rare find. Had he been paying attention, he'd have seen her eyes sparkle in greed. He's basically an engineer, although I doubt he considers himself one. Oh the things I could make with his help...

She tapped a finger to her chin, "Hypothetically speaking if I left only you alive, what would you do about the One Piece?" I heard he kills people who laugh at his dream of finding it. I wonder how important it is to him.

Captain Kid stiffened, wondering about the direction of this conversation. "I'd find it in their memory and shove every last piece so far down your gullet you shat gold."

His seriousness coupled with the graphic response had the small woman cackling hysterically. "STOP LAUGHING AT ME YOU CUNT! I WILL FIND THE ONE PIECE!" he bellowed, another blast of Conquerors Haki following his proclamation.

The mad scientist was stunned. He has the kind of will power to pull a blast that strong off twice? You just keep better and better... "I'm not laughing at your dream. A dream's a wonderful thing to have. What's life without a grand ambition anyway?" she said softly. "I'd never laugh at someone's goals; I've had idiots shit on my objectives. You're just kind of funny. I have a vivid imagination and well shitting out treasure…" she chortled.

"You're not right in the head are you?" he deadpanned.

"I'm not right anywhere. Least not by society's standards," she giggled madly.

Kid was oddly silent after that. She took a moment to study him, crouching down closer to prod at him. Using her index finger, she poked him in his side. His muscles have muscles. This brute takes his training very seriously. Even his leg muscles are huge, she thought, leaning over him, grazing the back of his thigh. Its a dangerous world and so few bother to train their whole body. Fuck there are plenty of scientists, the so called genius's of the world, who don't bother to utilize every advantage they can.

A blush took over his face, his ears and cheeks tinged red. "What the fuck are you doing?" his voice rose an octave. People did not touch him, especially without his say so. Woman typically ran and cowered from him and his crew. There were the brave ones. The village girls looking for a little excitement, a female pirate who thought she was the shit, and the whores who just wanted a good fuck and a nice sack of gold. Kid knew what it was. He was excitement to these woman, their bad boy, satisfying a craving, but the interaction was purely transactional, fulfilling a need and nothing more.

He'd fuck 'em rough and then leave immediately afterwards. It always left him feeling out of sorts afterwards, but its not like a pirate could look for more. He'd be gone soon from whatever port is was, and there was no way he'd bring a non-combatant onboard, no matter her bedroom skills. It would be too much of a liability. Sexual touching was one thing but this tender, kind shit was too foreign. Sure platonic touching was different with his crew, but not with a damn stranger.

"Investigating."

"Well quit it," he growled, uncomfortable with her closeness.

"Aw is the great big Captain Kid shy?" she teased.

"Shut-up! I don't like not being able to move damn it and this question and answer shit is pissing me off!" he yelled out angrily, not appreciating the vulnerable state he was in. God dammit, does she not know when to shut her mouth?!

She rolled her eyes, sitting back down. "I'm almost done. You don't just rely on your devil fruit. Why?"

Glad to not have her in his space anymore, the aggressive man grumbled, "What kind of moron does that? Opponents out here are serious business. 'Sides I need my strength to heft all the metal weapons I assemble. Yeah my power magnetizes it, but I lift it," he said in a bragging tone.

"You'd be surprised what kind of morons there are out here. I mean having a weak body is just asking for trouble but you should see the chicken legs on most pirates. They work their arms to wield a weapon and then neglect their leg muscles. Sure they may be fast, but why not be strong too? I know sheer amount of work it takes to be as toned as you are, but it's that hardiness that allowed you to survive my attacks."

He blushed again, his whole face heating up. He handled compliments as well as he did insults. Before he could put his foot in his mouth, she asked, "Why did you approach me in the first place?"

The angry captain took a deep calming breath, "I was woken up by a bloodthirsty fucker's pure rage and I'm always looking for more worthy members to join me. And then I saw you melt those weaklings into slush and it was interesting," he trailed off.

She smiled, aware of how people perceived her powers. No one likes witnessing the liquification process. This bastard must be a little crazy too. "And you thought 'Yo midget' was a great way to start off a partnership?"

"Didn't know you were so sensitive," he said throwing a mocking glance up at her.

Indignant, she grabbed roughly him by the chin and made him look up at her. "You took one of my hard earned crystals and raised it above my head you jackass. That 'what you gonna do about it short-shit' attitude pisses me the fuck off. You know how many mother-fuckers pull that crap and try to bully me into submission because I'm small?" she asked with a hiss. "Che like someone your size would ever understand how humiliating that is."

She saw him wince as amber eyes met her own dark brown ones. "I didn't mean anything by it you whiny little shit. I just wanted to know what the hell you did. Those crystals were dope as fuck; I could sense power radiating off of 'em. Was curious is all." Sensitive about your size, he thought sardonically.

He must still be in pain from the injuries I inflicted. I've already fixed myself up but I suppose I can extend the same curtsey to the ape. She pulled off her gloves revealing dainty hands with metallic blue nails. Reaching into her top coat pocket, she pulled out a small circular tub. "Hold still. This will alleviate the soreness from the hits I got in."

He stiffened, the cool gel soothing the back of his neck. "I can do it myself," he grumbled.

She scoffed, massaging the ointment in. "You can barely move. I guess I forgot to give you an antidote to the gas, not that you need it," the brown eyed woman fussed. When she was satisfied with that, she rolled him over effortlessly, moving to get the front of his neck and face. He's so pale I can see a perfect outline of my fist.

Quincy can't turn me over without help. This woman is strong as fuck. "Why ya healing me? I could just attack you again," he asked, now able to move his arm pretty well.

"I'd like to think you're smarter than that. And I think you're actually deserving of the title of Captain if you still want a scientist." She gingerly dabbed at the bruise on his throat, making his whole face and neck flush crimson.

"Yeah I'd like a scientist just not a nutjob like you," he said snidely, trying to deflect and not think about how good her ministrations felt.

The small professor bit her lip, pessimistically replying, "People clamor for the genius but never want the insanity that comes with it. They say 'There is a fine line between genius and insanity' but that's not the case. True Genius is Madness, full-blown insanity, come what may. There are no lines left to cross."

She sighed and moved higher, ghosting over his check. The woman was hovering in his personal space, making him feel like a spring wound too tightly. And the way she talked left him with no good response and too many thoughts.

"Stop that woman," he grabbed at her hand, pushing it away, glad at least his arms were working. "Already said you ain't joining," the buff man grumbled. Finally some movement. Damn her hand is tiny.

Brown eyes narrowed. "Quit lying to yourself. And it's Professor Jam Inator, not woman." She finished with his face and then remembered the liver blows she gave him. He's already moving his arms? Goddamn. And no one turns down a scientist you idiot.

But his mouth was already twitching into a grin, unable to help himself, "You turn into a jelly monster and your name is Jam?"

"You act like a child and your name is Kid?" the professor shot back.

"FUCK YOU!"

She stared up with that godforsaken giggling again, delighted with his over the top reactions, which pissed him off to no end. Using his arms he righted himself into a sitting position to glare down at her. In disbelief she puffed her cheeks making the man grin until she stood up, placing her hands on her hips, now taller than he was. The smug expression she sported sent him overboard.

"Quit your shit!" he fumed, trying to will his legs into action to no avail.

"You started it you tampon head!" she yelled.

His eyes narrowed as his blood began to boil. "Who the fuck you calling tampon head?!" Where does she come up with this shit?!

"This moody bloody-hair colored bastard I'm looking at!" she said pointing at him childishly.

He balled his fists and took a swipe at her, making her lean back and dodge. "And you expect to join my crew talking to me like that. Put some respect on my name," Kid demanded.

"Respect's a two way street, asshole," she glowered, deciding to let his infraction go as there was no real force behind his swing.

Grumbling she sat back down, miffed he was rubbing his height in her face. Sighing, she dipped her fingers into the paste again, slipping her small hand under his vest at his lower abdomen. The surly pirate captain froze in disbelief. Like fucking Jekyll and Hyde this lass is.

"EH! What do you think you're doing?" He sensed neither fear nor disgust, but rather a sense of mild annoyance coming from the pint-sized woman. She confused him, aggravating him to his limit.

Did his voice just crack? "I kicked you in your liver. I'm healing you. We've been over this you Neanderthal," she spoke slowly, in an insulting manner.

He reached to stop her, his metal arm reflexively being stopped by her free one to his shock and horror. She did it so casually, his mind shut off for minute. "Cease your bellyaching, I'm done," she announced, rolling her eyes.

When his brain restarted, she was already putting her gloves back on.

"You know initially I wanted a damn crew. But it just never worked. They either tried to order me about like a fucking slave, steal my inventions, or were just too complacent. No fire in their eyes. Nothing worth respecting ya know. I've had tons of offers but I ain't encountered anyone who merited following. Anyone can call themselves Captain, but few are actually competent enough to be one. You've impressed me and I can count on one hand the number of times that's happened. There must be more to you if you can inspire this level of fervent loyalty," she said, desperately wanting to unravel the mysteries behind the first person to stroke her curiosity in years.

Kid tensed, crossing his arms over his chest. "Stop screwing with me," he seethed, willing himself not to redden. Do you ever shut-up?!

She decided to ignore his tantrum, chalking his unease up to being angry at their initial encounter. But Jam never lingered on something for long. Her mind worked too fast and everything was expressed as it happened, fading away nearly as quickly. If she was angry she lashed out, happy she cried out in delight, sad she bellowed in agony, but then it was over. Sure there were a few things that preoccupied her from time to time, like revenge against a few spineless bastards, but his infractions against her were minor and he was just too valuable a potential resource to write off. The muscular man's eyes twitched in annoyance.

Jam grinned, deciding to explain herself. "See I can't join a backstabbing crew, not with the kind of knowledge I have. That's why I tested you guys. In the face of death many a soul will plead to spare their lives, offering up even their own friends as collateral. 'Just please don't kill me," she mocked, making her voice sound pitiful. "It's pathetic how quickly they betray their own and if it's one thing I hate even more than a marine, it's a traitor," she bit out. One day I'll be in position to return the favor to every traitorous bastard I've met.

Kid contemplated her words, knowing he felt the same way. "I handpicked each and every member of my crew. No one would dare betray me," he answered arrogantly, reflexively puffing out his chest.

She nodded in assent, glad they saw eye to eye. "A traitor is the worse and I've been double-crossed more times than I care to admit," Jam said bitterly. Could be nice, not having to be a one woman army. Fuck I could conduct more experiments if I had someone reliable watching my back.

"I got a few requirements though. I need a space to conduct experiments and a bedroom, nothing fancy just a bed and a door I can close when I need to be alone. Don't touch shit without my say-so; I've killed for less and some things are deadly if handled incorrectly. My discoveries will be shared with you and yours, but not the world. The hell if any of my hard work ends up helping the government or my enemies. You do right by me and I'd be willing to let you make research requests, within reason. I'll fight under your mantle and go as far as to call you Captain. However, every shitty marine I lay my eyes on still dies a gruesome death. These are non-negotiable," she stated matter-of-factly, moving to stand.

"And how can I be sure you're trustworthy?" he asked, going over her prerequisites for being his subordinate. Research requests? Anything? His mind whirled at the possibilities. That's what really sold him on her. He wanted to be counted in the hierarchy of the big leagues. That's was the whole point in attacking Shanks. Having a scientist as his disposal was certainly a way to elevate his status. But she was a mixed bag of crazy, dangerous to the safety of his crew. Che, I can handle her, now that I know what I'm up against. But do I want that headache?

She smiled softly, knowing she had him. "I could have just dumped a vial of liquification mix on you guys like I did the marines. If I wanted to fuck you over, I've had the chance. But its tiring working alone. I'm sure you split the work across your crew. Imagine if you had to do every little thing yourself?" she asked, never being one to hide how she felt.

Amber eyes searched every inch of her, trying to decipher her true intentions. His Haki told him she was astonishingly lonely. So that's why she got all nice, the squirt wants some friends. Just as he was about to tease her, she threw him for a loop.

"Your people should wake up soon and I need to finish my work, so I'll go for now. Here I'll leave this for the yellow furball and the flamethrower. And this for your damn biter," she said handing over the stuff she healed him with along with a small green pill. "Tell her to let it dissolve in her mouth." He seized up, baffled by her consideration for his crew. She didn't have to heal him or them, but he was glad; those kicks Killer took looked painful.

Faster than he could blink, she was off. "You have three days to make a decision Captain Kid. I'll swing by your ship then. Bye," she waved, trotting off.

"I said you ain't joining!" he hollered. This bitch was certifiably crazy. He felt like he had been taken on a emotional roller-coaster. He knew it was his problem, feeling just a tad too strongly about everything, but its just how he was. How he's always been. And this psycho professor's moods sat on a hairpin trigger. She would be like adding dynamite to hellfire. But she took out my entire crew with her damn inventions. A powerhouse like that could give us the edge. He watched her every move, as his more violent nature peaked through. I should gut her while her back is turned, make her pay, he thought before his more rational side took over. Everyone is fine, it's not worth the risk. Should've listened to Killer. I have no idea what other nasty tricks she has up her sleeves. No wonder scientists are so damn sought after. Her abilities are something else.

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Kid's enamored with the idea of having a mad scientist join him but unlike Luffy he does not want anyone knowing how cool he finds her. He'd be impressed by the creative insults too if they were directed away from himself. The man loves his crew, they were the only thing on his mind in that Wano prison. And did you see his blush when Luffy said he looked cool in the Beast Pirates uniform? Yeah he's bad with nice words. And that hug Luffy pulled him into when they were celebrating afterwards? I think he could of escaped quicker than he did if he really wanted to. Seemed kinda shocked.

Concerning woman, the news reports that Morgan writes paint the Kid Pirates in a very negative light, so I'm sure civilians usually run from them. As of Chapter 1074, we also know the big bird bastard lies to make the news more entertaining. But Kid's got that bad boy appeal and if Caesar Clown and Blackbeard can be shown surrounded by woman, I'm sure a cuter, younger, dangerous man can as well.

Professor Inator is a nut case, a character I devised years ago and never found a spot for. And I read a ridiculous amount of books and manga so it was disheartening to leave her homeless. With Egghead arc and Luffy maybe gaining a scientist in Vegapunk, I thought another Supernova should to, which is where I got the idea from. It was a long debate on which crew to add her to though. In celebration of finally placing her, I named this account after her. Also I had trouble thinking of an account name and I love music.

She gets her inspiration from Dr. Doofenshmitz, Mayuri Kurotsuchi, Bulma, and Professor Farnsworth. Jam was devised when I was Tequila Drunk so she's confidently crazy and enjoys getting her jam on. She is insane and completely ok with it. Not getting the last word in is never an option for this foul mouthed shrimp. I may have added a touch of Edward Elric in there.

Reviews are currency and this broke bastard needs all you can spare.