This book is the last of the series and as the title implies, it educates children on things that should never be done with a raccoon. Examples include purposely infecting a raccoon with rabies then turning it loose on your oilman, jamming the raccoon down buxom women's shirts on the subway, swinging a raccoon by its tail as a makeshift lasso, and getting practice on how to give an effective handjob through stimulating a raccoon. The most memorable section of the book is when Charlie Brown, Linus, Snoopy, and Peppermint Patty try to gain control of old people's minds by using a raccoon. After they bring a raccoon into a convalescent home and untie it, they try to pick it up and get it to stare into the old people's eyes as they slowly chant hackneyed hypnosis cliches. This doesn't work and the raccoon jumps from their grasp and runs amok through the convalescent home, biting old people, knocking pills out of their jars, causing a kitchen fire, and tearing the shorts of an unsuspecting UPS delivery worker. As punishment, the kids are sent to juvenile hall for a month, then have to serve 50 hours of community service at the very same convalescent home.