SHADAIR Seagull Charlie-Papa-Tango, 75,000 feet above France
En route to Dubrovnik Airport, ETA 30 minutes at Mach 4
The Seagull took off smoothly the next day, her hydraulics back up to full pressure. Soon they arrived at their cruising altitude.
"How about a bit of music?" Kelly suggested. "Or a radio station?"
"Not a bad idea," Jennifer smiled, "except - where are we?"
He checked the GPS showing their position on a 3-D global map, zooming in to display their flight path. "Just passing over France."
"So won't the radio stations all be in French?" she pointed out.
"The local ones, yes," he agreed, "but I can have SID relay an English one - say, Smooth Radio."
"You do keep SID busy, don't you?" she wondered. "Scanning for UFOs, managing SHADO's computer and mobile phone security, now relaying radio?"
"Actually, Jen, in many ways SID's a lot like Mike - HOLMES - in The Moon Is A Harsh Mistress," he replied, "the more we give it to do, the more SID seems to like it."
"Okay," she nodded. "Hang on - you won't be distracted from flying, will you...?"
He grinned. "Nervous passenger?"
"A little," she admitted, "I'm still not used to the idea of flying at four times the speed of sound, i.e. twice as fast as Concorde - and I gather from talking to Paul that we're so high even most military aircraft can't get to us!"
He looked askance at her. "A few weeks ago you were flying at well over 80,000 miles per hour, heading into lunar orbit."
"That was different," she protested, "that was a bloody spaceship!"
"Fair point," he conceded amusedly. "Three rebuttal points: first, the Seagull has a perfect operational record - we've never lost one, not even one or two that were shot at by UFOs en route; it's one of the two or three most reliable aircraft ever built, and that little niggle we had in New York doesn't count, as it wasn't critical. Second, in the highly unlikely event of critical engine failure we do have parachutes and you've been trained to use one."
"Scariest thing I've ever done," she muttered sourly. "That was not a fun day, and I just don't see why some people actually enjoy it, never mind that 'adrenalin rush' bollocks - I didn't feel exhilarated, just scared witless! Sophie nearly had heart failure when I told her about it."
"And third...it's a bit difficult to distract an autopilot." He grinned again. "You should've noticed I haven't touched the controls in a while."
"Oh - ! First chance I get," she scolded, "I will spank you, I swear! For all this teasing, you deserve it!"
He laughed and kissed her; she melted as she always did, and forgave him...until the next time. A quick word with SID, and soon Smooth Radio was on; Ronan Keating's Iris was playing. To her considerable surprise, he suddenly started singing along:
"...And you can't fight the tears that ain't coming,
Or the moment of truth in your lies
When everything feels like the movies
Yeah, you bleed just to know you're alive!
And I don't want the world to see me
'cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am."
To her further surprise he was actually quite good, so she just listened without further comment. He had a strong, resonant singing voice; she'd had no idea. She was actually quite impressed.
When the track trailed into silence, she murmured, "That was really good, you know. Thank you for that."
"Thank you," he returned appreciatively.
"I wouldn't have pegged you as a Ronan Keating fan, though," she doubted.
"Oh, I'd hardly call myself a fan, I just like that one. My digital music collection is eclectic to say the least, as I tend to cherry-pick - there are any number of artists who did just one or two tracks I like. The joys of downloads," he grinned, "you can pick out any track you like from an album and leave out the ones you don't want. Come to think of it, just about the only album from which I like every track is Roxette's Joyride."
"Some of their songs don't make much sense," she pointed out impishly.
"Neither does Jumpin' Jack Flash when you listen to the lyrics, but that didn't stop it earning millions for the Stones," he riposted.
"Touché," she conceded.
"A couple of them did take time to grow on me, but they all did. Song tracks don't have to make sense if they sound good and they're well-sung, and Marie Fredriksson sure could hold a note. Try Hotblooded - track 2 - sometime and you'll see, or rather hear, what I mean at the end of the track."
"Kelly," Jennifer asked thoughtfully, "can SID access my music library on SHADONET?"
"Please," he chuckled, "SID can access anything if it's online, anywhere."
"Well, try this one..." she tapped on the Seagull's tablet, opening a data channel to SID, and brought up Mal's Song from Vixy & Tony's filk album Thirteen, which she'd ripped and uploaded to her account on SHADONET (operatives were permitted to listen to music during breaks). "I gather from Sophie that you're a fan of Firefly, too?"
"Gorram right, I do declare," he grinned again, "it's shiny."
She chuckled at his use of Firefly slang; she'd half expected, knowing him, to say something like that but in Chinese - and for all she knew maybe he could. "Vixy once said that she felt Firefly's theme song was actually a chorus looking for a song...so she wrote one." With that, she played and launched into Mal's Song:
"When the stars shine bright through the engine's trail
And the dust of another world drops behind
When my ship is free of the open sky
It's a damn good day to my way of mind
There's a barren planet you never can leave
There's a rocky valley where we lost a war
There's a cross once hung round a soldier's neck
There's a man's faith died on Serenity's floor
But I stood my ground and I'll fly once more
It's the last oath that I ever swore
So take my love, take my land
Take me where I cannot stand
I don't care, I'm still free
You can't take the sky from me
Take me out into the black
Tell 'em I ain't comin' back
Burn the land and boil the sea
You can't take the sky from me
You can't take the sky from me..."
By this point Kelly was captivated; Jennifer was every bit as good a singer as he was, if not better...
"When you see a man and he's standin' alone
Well, you might just take him for an easy mark
And there's many a man has tried his hand
And there's worse than wolves in the borderland dark
From the savage men to the government hounds
Try to take what's yours and tear you through
But them that run with me's got my back
It's a fool don't know that his family's his crew
Don't you tell me what I cannot do
Don't you think I've got to run from you..."
As she reached the second chorus, he couldn't resist joining in. Then, not knowing the song, he fell silent to let her continue:
"When you've walked my road and you've seen what I've seen
Well, you won't go talkin' 'bout righteous men
You'll know damn well why I wanna keep to my sky
Never cry 'neath nobody's heel again
I've seen torment raked 'cross innocent souls
Seen sane men mad and good men die
I've been hounded, hated, married and tricked
I've been tortured, cheated, shot and tied
You won't see no tears when I say goodbye
I've still got my family and my Firefly...!"
Again he joined in for the chorus.
"That's beautiful," he enthused as they finished, "so true to the show, and beautifully sung, too."
"Thank you," she smiled, and kissed him. Then she looked impish. "Maybe you'll like this one, too, from the same album..."
She sang Siren Song:
"Oh, I'm just a singer from out on the coast
Doing concerts wherever they're hirin'
But good work's hard to find when your name is maligned
So unkind is the life of a Siren!
It's not easy to shake off your lineage
I know everyone runs from their past
But it's not every artist whose record store deals
Involve tying execs to a mast!"
Kelly laughed at this.
"My mother won't come to my concerts
And she knows that she's wasting her breath
Still she begs me return to a good honest life
Of beckoning men to their death."
Another laugh.
"Oh, I feel like a salmon who's swimmin' upstream
And I'll tell you, the journey is tirin'
So you think it's a splash? You'd be dead in a flash!
Show compassion if you meet a Siren
I'm thinking of firing my agent
His business sense isn't quite sound
He booked me to play at the Lincoln Memorial
And half of the audience drowned!"
He chuckled.
"I once worked a Holiday Cruise line
But I took international heat
Just for pulling some whalers a smidgeon off course
And the bulk of the Soviet fleet!"
He laughed again.
"Oh, how can I keep up a singing career
If my fanboys are always expirin'?
I'm accused of assault, but it isn't my fault!
Oy, gevalt! For the life of a Siren
The girls I meet all think it's glamorous
Making guys fall at your feet
It's not pretty at all when the amorous fall
Begins twenty floors up from the street!"
He laughed louder this time.
"Oh, and don't even mention Odysseus
To a hard-working singer like me
Now how would you feel if some out-of-town jerk
Tried to sneak in your concert for free?
Oh, my days are as filled with great woes and great ills
As anything written by Byron
If you think that it's grand, you can talk to the hand!
Understand the life of a Siren
So I cancelled all maritime venues
Things began to go passably well
I played Burning Man, Farm-Aid, the Winter Olympics,
Some lip-synching on SNL,
But now just when I think of relaxing
My agent is back in the saddle
I've got a world tour, and the cities for sure
Include Venice, Dubai, and Seattle!"
He got the joke, as Vixy & Tony's audience had, and laughed merrily.
"Oh, they say it's not over 'til you-know-who sings
So you might as well bring the whole choir in
'Cause my sisters are jacked to get in on the act
And Poseidon is looking to handle my bookings
Next month I'll email ya from Sidney, Australia
To regale ya with tales of a Siren!"
"What a clever little ditty!" he remarked, still laughing and applauding her. "I've never heard that before."
"They're filk singers," Jennifer explained.
"Oh, I've heard plenty of filk at SF conventions like Redemption, Satellite and Odyssey," he grinned, "including Firefly filk. Let's see what you think of Banned From Beaumonde...
"Our crew were in high spirits from a mostly painless job
And Jayne was extra chipper thanks to post from Mrs. Cobb.
They each set out to celebrate in their individual styles
And left a trail of stories that were talked about for miles!
And they're banned from Beaumonde, everyone.
Banned from Beaumonde, just for having a little fun.
They went to walk the world a spell, for just three nights or four,
But Beaumonde doesn't want them any more.
The Captain bumped into a girl he'd met two times before.
'Bout both of those occasions he still felt a little sore.
He gave in when she made big eyes and told him all her woes,
That is until he woke to find she'd stolen all his clothes!"
Now it was Jennifer's turn to laugh; she'd watched Our Mrs. Reynolds and Trash with Sophie, both of them loving Mal's misadventures with Saffron (or Yolanda, or Bridget...).
"And they're banned from Beaumonde, everyone.
Banned from Beaumonde, just for having a little fun.
They went to walk the world a spell, for just three nights or four,
But Beaumonde doesn't want them any more.
Inara found a client with the coin for her large fee.
She'd make enough in one night's work to fund a spending spree.
She kept her poise when in their joys came a loud and angry yell.
With a sultry look she calmed his wife and serviced her as well!"
"Oh, she would, too!" Jennifer laughed.
"And they're banned from Beaumonde, everyone.
Banned from Beaumonde, just for having a little fun.
They went to walk the world a spell, for just three nights or four,
But Beaumonde doesn't want them any more.
When the Doctor finally asked her out, li'l Kaylee squealed in glee.
But for Simon dates with women didn't run so easily.
It wasn't long before once more he'd put his foot right in.
She dumped him for a fella with a much bigger engine!"
By this point Jennifer was laughing helplessly.
"And they're banned from Beaumonde, everyone.
Banned from Beaumonde, just for having a little fun.
They went to walk the world a spell, for just three nights or four,
But Beaumonde doesn't want them any more.
Wash wanted to present his wife with a kind and thoughtful gift,
And so he bought for her to wear, a simple slinky shift.
It was a hit with all the men but one guy got too keen.
What Zoe did to that poor man was simply too obscene!
And they're banned from Beaumonde, everyone.
Banned from Beaumonde, just for having a little fun.
They went to walk the world a spell, for just three nights or four,
But Beaumonde doesn't want them any more.
Now Shepherd Book's a peaceful man, his private life is quiet.
They arrested him on Sunday morn' for inciting whores to riot.
He was rescued from the chaos, mussed but none the worse for wear,
Except they stole his scrunchie, freeing all his fearful hair!
And they're banned from Beaumonde, everyone.
Banned from Beaumonde, just for having a little fun.
They went to walk the world a spell, for just three nights or four,
But Beaumonde doesn't want them any more.
Now Jayne was not best pleased to find the whores had gone on strike.
He'd been planning a wild party as you've never seen the like.
Despite his search he couldn't find a girl to dine and bed,
But caused some frowns about the town taking Vera out instead!
And they're banned from Beaumonde, everyone.
Banned from Beaumonde, just for having a little fun.
They went to walk the world a spell, for just three nights or four,
But Beaumonde doesn't want them any more.
Well, River had been left behind to avoid those Hands of Blue.
But she got bored alone on board. Some fun was overdue.
She popped into a saloon to stock up on oaty snacks,
What happened next is anyone's guess 'cos none dare tell the facts!
And they're banned from Beaumonde, everyone.
Banned from Beaumonde, just for having a little fun.
They went to walk the world a spell, for just three nights or four,
But Beaumonde doesn't want them any more.
Serenity's a noble ship, the finest in the black,
But when her crew has downed some brew you'd better mind your back.
They leave a lot of wreckage, a few riots, some mayhem;
At least they're sure that planet won't be quick forgetting them!"
When they'd both finished laughing, Kelly suggested another duet - so Jennifer put on Dead Ringer For Love!
Soon they were landing at Dubrovnik Airport, and were met by a limousine...which, to Jennifer's utter lack of surprise, was being driven by Ayshea Johnson. She looked very smart and professional in a chauffeur's outfit, complete with cap, though as always she was wearing her 'A' pendant on a necklace. Playing her role to perfection given that civilians were within earshot, she inquired in a Croatian accent, "Hotel Splendid, sir?"
Kelly grinned and Jennifer chuckled. "Hotel Splendid it is," he confirmed. Once they were on their way he complimented her, "Flawless accent, Major."
Ayshea chuckled in her turn. "Took a fair amount of practice, sir." She sobered. "I've just received word from the maître d'hôtel, Commander; a couple of players have already arrived, including Mr. Holt. All security measures are in place, and your room has been thoroughly checked; it's clean." She smiled. "Of course, I'll check it myself while you're checking in, sir, but I don't expect any problems." Now she smiled at Jennifer. "People in this part of the world are very friendly towards tourists, which is what you both are as far as anyone here knows."
Jennifer smiled back, seeing an opportunity to impress the Commander with her diligence, keeping her status as a cadet - and Kelly's as her evaluating officer - firmly in mind. "Yes, tourism's the main industry of Montenegro, so I gather from my research."
Kelly glanced at her, knowing exactly what she was about, and shared a long-suffering look with Ayshea, who'd been with SHADO from the beginning. "Cadets," he groused.
"You gotta love 'em," she grinned, knowing the Commander was just teasing his lover and deciding to show a little female solidarity.
He sighed in defeat. "Okay, you win," he conceded. "Good job, Cadet."
But he couldn't keep up his sober mien; all three burst out laughing.
On arrival a porter immediately took charge of their luggage, and Ayshea parked the limousine, heading into the hotel to check their room as per her assignment; she had a keycard...albeit not one issued by the hotel - SID had already hacked the security system and granted her unlimited access. Jennifer took a moment to admire Hotel Splendid from the outside, and Kelly indulged her; he knew she'd seldom had the opportunity to stay in a hotel of any sort, let alone such a high-class venue as this one. "It's lovely," she marvelled.
"It's just as nice inside," Kelly smiled, "I was here about nine years ago for a meeting with the Croatian President; we were negotiating the terms of establishing a small SHADO base in Dubrovnik." He grinned. "And yes, we did play a few games in the casino."
"Mixing business and pleasure?" she teased in mild retaliation for his earlier quip en route.
"Yeah, yeah, point taken," he gruffly conceded. "Let's go in already."
They entered and crossed to the desk, where a cute, pretty receptionist addressed them in a musical Croatian accent; typically for her, Jennifer took an immediate interest and favoured the girl with a sexy smile. Kelly didn't miss it, but said nothing and didn't even give her a reproving glance as he normally would have. Flirting with a young, pretty woman would fit perfectly with Jennifer's cover.
Besides, the kid was a natural blonde, and since his lover had a thing for blondes, especially with those big baby blues...oh, what the hell, where's the harm, he mused, might as well indulge her for once. We're supposed to be just tourists anyway, so it'd be best to show our natural relaxed body language - and getting the hots for a cute little blonde is perfectly natural behaviour for my randy bitch!
"Room 217 is ready, Mr. McAllister," the receptionist lilted...returning Jennifer's sexy smile with interest. Kelly mentally shrugged. So the attraction's mutual. Well, that makes it even more natural, so fair enough.
"Hvala vam," he replied in flawless Croatian, just to be polite; she beamed, warmed by the gesture and impressed that an obviously native Englishman would know any Croatian or speak it so well; it seemed he was that rare sort of tourist who took the time and trouble to learn at least a little about the language and customs of the country he was visiting before going there. Lucija Arapović had always loved such considerate people; for one thing they often made her job much easier, and for another they tended to be generous tippers.
Plus his lady friend is gorgeous, she couldn't help thinking, so tall and strong...and definitely interested. Perhaps I'll look her up when my shift ends...yes, yes, I will! She wants me, I know she does, and how long has it been since I bedded a woman? I'm getting bored with men, especially Tomislav...when's he going to realise I don't want to marry him, I don't want to be tied down at 20 and I just can't live without stidnica...!
With an effort Lucija got a grip on herself, remembering her duty as her task of checking Mr. McAllister in wasn't quite complete, since she had yet to acquire his signature and give him his keycards, one for each of them, and thus she did so. She smiled brightly. "There we are, sir. Oh, and my compliments on your accent, Mr. McAllister; it is flawless." Her merry smile melted into warmth. "As is your courtesy, sir. It is so good to meet a considerate tourist."
Kelly replied with an equally warm smile. "My pleasure - Lucija, isn't it?" he added, reading her nametag and pronouncing her name with the correct silent j, as per the Croatian custom.
Lucija smiled even more warmly. I like this man. The lady is very lucky, especially if he is equally considerate in bed. "Well done, sir; flawless again."
Jennifer was equally impressed. "You never cease to amaze me with these little snippets of knowledge," she smiled. Now Kelly was impressed on realising she'd understood what he'd said, i.e. 'thank you', from context, whilst probably not even knowing he'd spoken in Croatian. He decided she'd earned a couple of bonus points on her assessment score for that. Then, out of the corner of his eye, he spotted a familiar figure: Nicholas Holt, the instigator of this little 007-inspired occasion.
Holt wasn't as tall as Kelly, but broader without being fat; he was known to be a gym enthusiast. Hell, he owned a couple of gyms here and there. Forty-eight and looking good on it, impeccably dressed in Armani, his hair was thick (lucky bugger, Kelly couldn't help thinking a tad enviously) and black, his eyes a clear blue. He was quite handsome and vaguely resembled Robert Downey, Jr. Now he grinned broadly, greeting them in a broad Connecticut accent. "Welcome to my little get-together! Let's see, you must be Mr. Kelly McAllister and guest, yeah?"
Jennifer took it upon herself to make her own introduction; she found herself liking this brash, friendly American. "Hello, Mr. Holt -"
"Oh, Nicholas, please," he grinned, taking the hand Jennifer politely offered him and kissing it in gallant fashion.
Ooh, he's a wolf, Jennifer observed, but then again I like that in a man! "And I'm Jennifer Harrison; I'm very pleased to meet you."
"Charmed," Holt returned, and then impressed them both by adding, "I love your Croydon accent, Jennifer; South Croydon, isn't it?"
Jennifer laughed, charmed by this, and smilingly confirmed it, complimenting him. Kelly raised a surprised eyebrow; Holt might've done some research on Jennifer, but he had a feeling that that wasn't the case, since she wasn't a player and hence wasn't relevant in that context. That made his recognition of her accent all the more impressive.
And it tagged him as someone he, the Commander, would be very well advised to watch closely during the game. Rich people, especially self-made ones, needed to be far from stupid in order to get that way and, moreover, stay that way, so he'd expected at least intelligence from Holt. But shrewdness to that degree was something else again.
Of course, Kelly himself was as far from being stupid as any human being could be...
"Mr. Holt," he coolly acknowledged, and then he mischievously quipped with a faux frown and Danish accent, "'or is that 'Bond'? Uh, I'm a little confused'."
Nicholas chuckled, clearly recognising the quote, and replied (likewise quoting from Casino Royale), "'Well, we wouldn't want that, would we?'" They shook hands, Nicholas nodded politely to Jennifer and then he moved on to greet other guests who were now arriving.
"He seems friendly enough," Jennifer idly remarked. "Of course, I can't help recalling Lazarus Long's view on social gambling."
"Yeah, I remember it," Kelly nodded, and added quietly, "and I imagine Holt knows the Notebook quote, too - my sources tell me he's a fellow Heinlein fan."
"Hmm...is he looking to win, have a good time or both?"
"Well, for everyone else this is all just for fun, Jen -"
"- with the possible exception of Natalia -" Jennifer noted shrewdly, appreciating his respectful nod of acknowledgement.
"- although," he smiled, "I doubt any of 'em are too distressed at the notion of winning the odd few billion dollars..."
"No, I don't suppose they are," she merrily agreed, then surprised and impressed him (again!) by greeting Hirohito Shimaka in Japanese: "Konnichi-wa, Hirohito-San."
"Konnichi-wa," he returned politely, bowing, and asked a question in Japanese.
"No, I'm afraid not," she smiled, surprising Kelly still a third time as he was certain she did not speak or even understand the language (few Westerners did, and even Kelly himself only knew a few phrases), "I just know how to say hello." She gave Kelly an old-fashioned look, anticipating the question he was about to ask. "Some things you don't need to understand, they're obvious from context."
"Only if you're clever," he returned with his respect obvious in voice and expression, and grinned at Hirohito, "which my lady friend Jennifer definitely is, sir."
"This exquisite lady with tresses as fiery as the sunrise did indeed correctly infer my question, Kelly-San," Hirohito chuckled. "Clearly your intelligence is a match for your beauty," he complimented her.
"Why, thank you, kind sir - and do you two know each other?" Jennifer asked, surprised.
"No, he just had us tailed from JFK when we went to Versace," Kelly grinned again, "and the tail used facial recognition software on his mobile to ID me."
"Your gentleman friend is equally shrewd, good lady," Hirohito bowed deeply to Jennifer. "Our poker game will, I think, be most entertaining." With a smile, he too moved off.
Jennifer's verdict was as instant as it was correct: "He's one to watch out for, I'd say."
Not for the first time, Kelly chuckled appreciatively at Jennifer's perspicacity. "How did a self-confessed home-maker get so shrewd? You're right; he'll play with a keen awareness of the odds, and there are few racial types who can pull off a poker face better than the Japanese. Yeah, he'll likely give me a hard time...though not," he finished darkly, "as much as I suspect she will."
As he said it, he was looking at the latest arrival - a certain petite blonde with china-blue eyes.
"'Primary Target', I believe the phrase is," Jennifer murmured.
Kelly nodded grimly.
"Kelly, I forgot to ask: who's our backup?"
"That's Penelope and her Assault & Rescue Team - I'm sure you remember them," Kelly noted pointedly.
Jennifer did indeed. She'd never been so relieved to see anyone as she had been to see Major Penelope Terry and the A.R.T. when they came to rescue her and Sophie from the homicidal Dr. Hardcastle and her Alien controllers. She still hadn't quite gotten over the surprise of Kelly having given them specific orders to get her daughter out first at any cost ("...get the little girl out - she's top priority, Commander's orders," she vividly recalled Penelope rapping to her team).
She'd never been as touched by any gesture from anyone.
The news that their backup was someone as competent and dedicated (especially by SHADO standards) as Penelope was most welcome, and the same for her A.R.T. Hmm, that must be what Ayshea meant by 'security measures', she mused.
She was quite right.
Mobile 1, near Hotel Splendid
Aboard the Mobile, Major Penelope Terry was receiving a status report from Major Johnson. Once it was complete, she acknowledged and closed the channel. Right, time to brief 'em.
"Listen up, A.R.T.," Penelope rapped, "we are now on Yellow Alert. The Commander has just arrived at the hotel with Cadet Harrison. Major Johnson has finished checking Room 217 and the rest of the hotel; all's well so far. SKY 5 just completed her aerial sweep, no contacts; Captain Bower's heading back to the Baltic." She took a breath. "This does not mean we get to relax. Luanne, you'll take first perimeter watch at 2200; Sally, you take second watch at 2300; I'll take third at 0000, and so on.
"Avoid all civilian contact if possible; if not, shoot 'em up with the amnesiac and a dose of alcohol." She smiled grimly. "Let 'em think they got so drunk they don't even remember drinking. Any confirmed or suspected Alien contact, call immediately for backup - and shoot to kill. Better safe than sorry. In that event, whoever's on station should alert the Commander, SHADO HQ and Skydiver Five immediately.
"The Commander is due to check in with us around 0200, but that's flexible depending on situation." She grinned saucily. "Or on how busy he is with Cadet Harrison!"
Her colleagues chuckled knowingly, while checking their gear - particularly weaponry. They knew the major was absolutely right to call for watchful caution and to reiterate proper procedure even though she knew they knew it by heart; seldom had there been a mission so fraught with uncertainty. Were the Aliens involved? Did they have any agents and/or operatives stationed in or near the hotel?
And if they were here, what the hell were they up to...?