Disclaimer: Do not own The Untamed or Modao Zushi-or any iteration of it.
Warnings for PTSD, implied genocide, child abuse in reference to the Jiang family and how they treated Wei Wuxian.
Where are you, baba?
After the fever broke, A-Yuan remembered everything. Absolutely everything.
He had nightmares regularly for the first few years, after the rest of the Wens had been butchered and he had been taken in by the Lan clan, and learning that his baba had…..
The young boy of eight now, had stayed close to Lan Wangji-Lan Zhan, his first father's…..friend.
Even at eight, A-Yuan knew that their relationship had been more than that.
Soon after A-Yuan's fever broke, at the age of three, he was soon taught by the cultivators at Cloud Recesses, in how to fight evil.
Lessons that A-Yuan honestly wasn't sure he believed in.
Because the cultivators all, save for Lan Wangji, told him that his first father, Wei Ying, the Yiling patriarch, was a monster, was evil, a demon.
A-Yuan? He would never believe it.
And yes, Wei Ying had been A-Yuan's first father. His father by blood? He barely remembered. His mother and father by blood, had been killed by Jin soldiers when A-Yuan had been only a year and a half old.
So, Wei Ying had become A-Yuan's first father.
And A-Yuan wouldn't stand for believing what lies the cultivators told him.
There was a time when he had thought of raising a sword to those that had spoken that way of his baba.
But he knew that it wouldn't end well for him if he did.
Lan Wangji, made sure he would remember that.
Lan Wangji, who had been desperate to keep the last reminder he had of Wei Wuxian alive and safe.
So, he told A-Yuan to behave, to do everything that his mentors told him, to never step out of line, to keep A-Yuan safe, both from outsiders and from those of the Lan clan, who might consider A-Yuan's thoughts to be…..troublesome.
This was why A-Yuan knew better than to ever use his family name. Never the name, "Wen."
At Lan Wangji's order, he had taken the Lan name almost instantly, to keep himself secret.
And he would obey the Lan clan's every order, at his second father, Lan Wangji's instructions.
He would talk with his second father in seclusion, learning what precious bits he could about his first father from his second father.
Even at a young age? A-Yuan had understood that his first father and second father, had had an intense relationship. He hadn't understood the extent of that relationship until later, but he had known that it had been an intense relationship.
What he had wanted to know? Was really everything. Any tiny morsel Lan Wangji could offer to A-Yuan of Wei Wuxian, A-Yuan wanted to know it.
He had only had a year and a half of precious time with Wei Wuxian.
He wanted to know everything there was to know about him.
When there was no one else in the room but him and Lan Wangji and no one would hear them, Lan Wangji would tell A-Yuan about We Ying.
A-Yuan at first, had worried that he might upset the cultivator by talking of such matters, but regardless, whenever Wangji talked about Wei Wuxian, there would be an air of sadness surrounding him, yes, but also? A-Yuan got the strong sense, even without the slight curve of a smile on Wangji's lips, when he spoke of Wei Wuxian, that speaking of the supposedly dreaded Yiling patriarch, and talking about him in a way that wasn't painting Wei Wuxian as an abomination, brought Wangji comfort.
In those moments? When Lan Wangji told A-Yuan about those days, before Wen Chao had destroyed everything, how Wei Wuxian would always smile, always joke, always be warm and sweet and ridiculous. Brilliant and skilled, but ridiculous. A-Yuan could almost pretend that his baba was with them again, and that he, Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian were all back together again.
A-Yuan yearned for these pieces of information from Lan Wangji. Things to remind him of the gentle, sweet, joyous young man that had been A-Yuan's first father for such a short time.
There were other things that A-Yuan learned over the years from his second father. Things that somewhere in the back of A-Yuan's mind, had known to be the truth. Things about the power that Wei Wuxian had obtained while surviving being in the Burial Mounds for the first time.
Of course, A-Yuan had heard whispers, both before and after being taken in by the Lan clan. And he remembered seeing things his first father had done with that flute of his, in the Burial Mounds.
But he hadn't fully understood it.
He understood that occasionally? His first father, when pushed to a certain angry point, would be overtaken by a strange mood, and would look at people in a dangerous way, and A-Yuan remembered that in those troubling moments? He wouldn't recognize his first father.
He realized now that it hadn't just been anger that his first father had suffered from. Something had influenced his mind too.
It hurt the boy immensely, to realize. Because he hadn't been able to help his first father.
And A-Yuan had seen it in his second father's eyes. In the sadness in Lan Wangji's gaze. He had tried to desperately help Wei Wuxian too. But he hadn't been able to save the other man.
And it was when A-Yuan learned what part Jiang Cheng, the man that Wei Wuxian grew up with, had in all of it, he had found himself feeling something dark. Something he couldn't quite put his finger on. Not anger. Not rage.
Disgust, maybe?
Resentment?
It would be later when he understood the emotion he felt for Jiang Cheng. Hate.
And no, Jiang Cheng raising Jin Ling, the boy that was Wei Wuxian's sister's child, didn't change that for A-Yuan.
He understood that such emotions were looked down on in the Lan clan, but he couldn't help it.
He felt it. Hate.
He sometimes wondered if it had to do with his Wen blood. The Wens were known to hold grudges, to be quick to anger.
And you know, maybe it was A-Yuan's Wen blood that was entirely to blame, but he doubted it.
No, he believed it to be entirely just sheer decency. The decency to acknowledge when a great injustice had been done and no one was saying it out loud.
While Cheng, who had never done anything for A-Yuan's first father, sat on a regal lotus throne, and commanded his underlings like a king, Wei Wuxian was made into an outcast, seen as a demon, and vilified for years to come.
While Wei Wuxian's mind broke and threw himself off of a cliff to his death-so everyone presumed, though no remains had been found, Jiang Cheng thought he got to strut around and puff his chest out like a hero, even though A-Yuan refused to believe that he hadn't had a hand in what had happened.
It was the reason why A-Yuan disliked purple. Purple was the color of the Jiang family. And it made A-Yuan think of his darling baba's supposed brother. But Jiang Cheng had never been Wei Wuxian's brother, had he? No, he had been the man that Wei Wuxian was supposed to serve, according to Cheng's mother and father.
At least, that was what A-Yuan had been able to put together from the various stories he had heard of Cheng's father taking Wei Wuxian in, and yet never adopting him, and Wei Wuxian never calling Cheng's mother and father, his own mother and father. No, for Wei Wuxian, Madam Yu Ziyuan and Jiang Fengmian, were his "ayi" and his "shushu."
And even then, A-Yuan didn't have to ask, to know that Fengmian only saw Wei Wuxian as a convenient servant to his blood children, and that Madam Yu considered Wei Wuxian a complete pest, at best.
It caused A-Yuan to feel a great deal of resentment for the Jiang family. Including Jiang Cheng.
So, he couldn't stand having any purple clothes anywhere near him.
He could never hate lotuses, though.
Even if the place where the self-important and hypocritical Jiang Cheng ruled, was called "Lotus Pier," A-Yuan could never bring himself into hating lotuses.
He still remembered how much his baba loved them. How his baba had insisted on growing the lotuses in the Burial Mounds, growing them successfully and happily eating the seeds in them and sharing them with the Wen people he was looking after.
So, for A-Yuan, though seeing purple tended to make his teeth grind, seeing lotuses never failed to make him smile, reminding him of his dear baba.
Years later, when A-Yuan had gotten his courtesy name, Lan Sizhui, he had come to understand what his second father's feelings were for his first father. And his heart mourned for Lan Wangji.
Because Lan Wangji had lost the man he loved.
He had lost the man that he most likely would have married.
It wasn't until Lan Sizhui turned thirteen, when he began noticing the trips that his second father would go out on, then return and he had begun getting suspicious about them.
When at last, he had confronted Hanguang-Jun about it, he had watched as his second father made sure no one else was nearby to hear, and he had hesitantly told Lan Sizhui, after much contemplation.
As it turned out, even when there was every reason in the world to think that Wei Wuxian was no more?
Lan Wangji, still had gone out looking for any sign of his beloved. Searching for any indication that Wei Ying had somehow returned.
Immediately, Lan Sizhui had wanted to help in any way he could. He wanted to find his first father.
Even if some part of him was certain, that if Wei Wuxian had survived, then surely, he would have come back for his son, and for the man he was in love with sooner than now.
But still…there was no trace of any actual body that had belonged to Wei Wuxian.
As Lan Sizhui thought he would, Hanguang-Jun refused, telling him that the boy must give no sign whatsoever that he was going outside of the Lan clan's rules.
It made Lan Sizhui frustrated, but he understood. His second father had done so much to keep him safe.
And he wasn't going to risk ruining that now.
Still, whenever Hanguang-Jun went out, then would come back days or sometimes even weeks later, Lan Sizhui would hang onto any gem of information he could get his hands on.
And even if Lan Sizhui was skeptical of the possibility that Wei Wuxian was still alive or had somehow come back from the dead, he would be desperate to cling onto the thought that maybe his first father was still in this world.
And late at night, when he couldn't sleep-often having another nightmare of his baba falling from a cliff into a pit of blackness, his mind conjuring the images from all the stories he had heard, Lan Sizhui would go to the window of his room and peer out at the night sky, sure that there was no one outside on patrol who would see him looking out of his window after nine, and he wouldn't be able to help the question that came out, the words taking on a yearning tone, "Where are you, baba?"
Those times, he would think of his baba, smiling, joking, "planting" him in the ground like a radish, picking him up and whirling them around with A-Yuan in his arms, grinning. Those memories hurt Lan Sizhui, but in a strangely comforting way.
It wasn't till another three years later, when Lan Sizhui was sixteen, that it happened.
Lan Sizhui and other juinors were called to the Mo family residence, hearing of summoning of something evil.
They had arrived, ready to stop whatever had been summoned, whether it be a demon or an evil spirit.
And it was in the main house, that Lan Sizhui had experienced something strange. A feeling of familiarity, the moment Mo Xuanyu had entered the room and began his dramatic antics, wearing a mask.
Lan Sizhui did what he could for what he could see, to be a mentally unsound young man, who was being mistreated by his family, yet he couldn't shake the feeling that he knew this unwell young man from somewhere before. He felt an odd warmth around the man. Like he knew he was safe with the man.
It was why he tried to make sure that Mo Xuanyu knew to stay in his room, when they began exorcising whatever had come to this place through evil spells.
He wanted to keep everyone here safe, yes, but for some reason he couldn't identify, he had wanted Mo Xuanyu safe, more than anyone in this family that they were helping.
Watching Mo Xuanyu throw down the flag for the ritual, then run away, for some reason, had made Lan Sizhui's heart ache.
And when they had stopped the rest of the Mo family, who had been possessed and proceeded to kill themselves and others, Mo Xuanyu had a strange awareness of things, things that Lan Sizhui never would have imagined he knew. About the marks they used on the floor, about how to identify who was going to be possessed. It was unexpected, to say the least.
They had sent word out for Hanguang-Jun to come and help them, and while Lan Sizhui and Lan Jingyi hadn't acknowledged Mo Xuanyu's almost fearful words, trying to keep them from signaling to Hanguang-Jun, Lan Sizhui couldn't help but wonder why Mo Xuanyu seemed afraid of Lan Wangji. Or afraid of seeing him, anyway.
And when Lan Wangji had arrived and had stopped it all? Of course, Lan Sizhui was overjoyed to see his mentor and second father.
Hanguang-Jun had inspected the cause for all the madness on this night, and it had come from a sword, infected by the energy of the Stygian Tiger Amulet.
That had been a shock. For Lan Sizhui and for the rest of the juniors, including Lan Jingyi.
Then Lan Jingyi had said something that had made Lan Sizhui freeze on the spot and he had known it had had the same effect on Lan Wangji.
Lan Jingyi had said, "Maybe the Yiling patriarch didn't really die."
And you know, odd as it was? It was when Lan Jingyi had said this, that Lan Sizhui looked around, thinking about Mo Xuanyu.
A thought ran through Lan Sizhui's mind. (I know you, Mo Xuanyu.)
He didn't know how exactly, but he knew he knew Mo Xuanyu. From somewhere.
It wasn't till Hanguang-Jun came down from the roof where he had used his guqin, and Lan Sizhui saw him searching around, stoic as ever, but he could sense his second father's tenseness and realized that something was off.
And even then, Lan Sizhui didn't really put the pieces together of what his second father was thinking.
It didn't help matters for Lan Sizhui, when they couldn't find Mo Xuanyu. He was missing.
And for all the man's eccentricities, and even if Lan Sizhui knew it made no sense, he feared for the man's safety, more than he would a stranger who he was supposed to protect.
But he and his fellow juniors, ran into Mo Xuanyu again.
In Dafan Mountain.
After the dancing fairy statue had tried to kill them, Mo Xuanyu did something most unexpected. He had grabbed Lan Jingyi's sword, sliced a piece of bamboo off and started carving holes into it, then had dropped the sword and had begun using the piece of bamboo as he would a flute.
And Lan Sizhui, he knew he should have known then, why Mo Xuanyu was so familiar to him, but he hadn't.
After Lan Jingyi had scoffed something at Mo Xuanyu, they had faced against the attacking statue again, only to be interrupted by…something else.
A large figure, pale and lanky, wrapped in chains, jumping out from behind the trees, which happened just as Mo Xuanyu, started playing the bamboo flute.
It was Wen Ning, the "Ghost General."
Lan Sizhui's heart had stopped, seeing him again.
His friend, his shushu.
Like his first father, Lan Sizhui hadn't seen Wen Ning in thirteen years.
But…hadn't his body been destroyed after his sister and the rest had been executed?
And it was then that it finally sparked the idea in Lan Sizhui's mind and he turned his head to look at Mo Xuanyu, playing the flute.
It couldn't be, could it?
Wen Ning finally moved, jumping up and destroying the statue completely, leaving it in rubble.
The older cultivators attacked.
This was a mistake, since Ning was too strong for them. He dispatched each of them, injuring them, making them cry out, and Lan Sizhui couldn't help the fearful cry from his throat, as his shushu gripped Lan Jingyi by the throat and lifted him off of the ground, strangling him.
But Mo Xuanyu-or was it….when he started playing the flute again, this time using a more soothing tune, one that Lan Sizhui could have sworn he had heard Lan Wangji play for him one time, that was when things changed.
Slowly, Ning lowered Lan Jingyi to the ground, and began walking to Mo Xuanyu.
Lan Sizhui checked to see if his friend was alright, but he was ashamed to say, that his focus was almost entirely on Wen Ning and Mo Xuanyu.
Not even knowing that Jin Ling, the son of Jin Zixuon, the man who had been killed by Wen Ning, was nearby.
Lan Sizhui would never believe for a moment that Wen Ning had willingly killed Jin Zixuon, or that his first father, Wei Ying had willingly ordered Ning to do it. Something else had to have happened or it had to have been an accident.
Nonetheless, Lan Sizhui's eyes remained on Wen Ning, and the person commanding him with his flute.
He watched, mesmerized, as Mo Xuanyu kept walking backwards, his dark clothing fanning out in the wind, using his flute and luring Wen Ning away from the juniors and everyone else, when a figure robed in white flew down, and stopped behind Wen Ning's master.
It was Lan Wangji.
Mo Xuanyu backed up into Wangji, and Hanguang-Jun's hand reached out and gripped Mo Xuanyu's arm, and Lan Sizhui could feel that spark-traitorous hope, form in his chest.
It couldn't be, but it was.
He could see it, the moment Lan Wangji looked at this man pretending to be Mo Xuanyu, and the moment the man pretending to be Mo Xuanyu, looked at Lan Wangji.
Lan Sizhui could feel the wide smile cross his face. What could only be called painful hope and painful joy, filled his chest.
It WAS him!
Lan Sizhui didn't even wait for anything to be said, he ran as fast as he could towards them, ignoring Jingyi and everyone else yelling after him.
Mo Xuanyu-no, Wei Wuxian used the flute again, this time making Wen Ning turn and leap over the trees, disappearing, going into hiding again.
Lan Wangji moved to go after Ning, but Wei Ying grabbed his hand, stopping him.
One could say that Wei Ying was trying to keep Wangji from going after his minion, but Lan Sizhui read it another way.
He read it as Wei Ying pleading with his love not to leave him.
Wangji turned to Lan Sizhui, when his pupil came barging over.
Hanguang-Jun read the question in Lan Sizhui's eyes. (It's him, isn't it?)
His second father said nothing, and didn't even nod, but Lan Sizhui could see the answer in Hanguang-Jun's eyes. (It is.)
Lan Sizhui all but crashed into his fathers, still grinning stupidly, as the shocked Wei Wuxian turned his attention at last to Lan Sizhui.
Lan Sizhui could feel his heart pounding in his chest, seeing the confusion and as much as it hurt the boy to see, fear as well.
"Baba," Lan Sizhui said, unable to help the desperation in his voice, "It's me. It's A-Yuan."
Even with the silver mask he wore, which Lan Sizhui knew now, was to keep people with spiritual power from recognizing him, the boy could see the shock and recognition in his first father's eyes.
Lan Sizhui didn't hesitate, despite Wei Wuxian not yet acknowledging him.
He lunged at his first father and hugged him, pressing himself tightly against the man that so many had called a monster over the years.
"Radish?" Wei Ying asked, his voice almost a whisper, like he couldn't believe that his son was still alive.
Lan Sizhui laughed, hearing the name from a lifetime ago.
He didn't care what his friends or anyone else said.
He had his first father back, that was all that mattered.
Even if everyone feared Wei Wuxian, they could find a way. Wei Ying and Lan Wangji could be together. And Lan Sizhui would have both his fathers.
That was when the serene moment was shattered.
It shattered as soon as Lan Sizhui heard the familiar, commanding voice of Wei Ying's so-called brother, Jiang Cheng, demanding to know what was going on and who the strange man was that had the flute in his hand.
Lan Sizhui felt his first father shiver and he tightened his hold on Wei Wuxian. If Jiang Cheng wanted to even try to hurt his baba again? He would have to go through Lan Sizhui.
He smiled when he heard the pinging noise of Lan Wangji's guqin being summoned.
It appeared that the sentiment of protection that Lan Sizhui had felt for his first father, Lang Wangji felt as well, for his beloved.
It was why they deserved Wei Wuxian. And Jiang Cheng didn't.
Author's note
My first fic in this fandom. Bear in mind please, a lot of this is only coming from me watching only The Untamed. I haven't seen Modao Zushi or read any of it yet. I'm entirely new to this fandom.
That being said, I probably got a few things wrong about naming and terminology in the culture and some of the events as they happened in the novel and the anime incorrect. I'm just going off of the Netflix show. This fic was very rushed, as I'm sure everyone noticed.