Chapter 1
It was a beautiful day in the small mountain town of South Park, and the boys were bored out of their minds. Cartman, Stan, Kyle and Kenny were walking along the streets of South Park when they all heard a very loud rumble.
"It's an earthquake!" Stan yelled.
The four boys all fell to the ground due to the intensity of the earthquake. It was so powerful all four of the boys became unconscious. After about an hour, all four of the boys opened their eyes. However, they didn't seem to be in their old mountain town anymore.
"Woah, what is this place?" Kyle said.
They were in front of a house which appeared to look like some type of tree or something. Then a green figure came outside of the house. He didn't look too friendly or happy to see strangers on his property.
"What are you doing in my SWAMP?!" The green figure roared.
"What the hell is that thing?" Stan said.
"Some kind of monster." Cartman said.
"Hey, who are you guys and what are you doing in my swamp?" The green thing said.
"We're sorry, we just randomly ended up here for no reason. We don't even know who you are or where we are." said Kyle.
"Well, my name is Shrek and I'm an ogre. Also, you happen to be in my swamp! I've never seen you guys before. Where are you from?" Shrek said.
"We're from South Park, Colorado, and we need to get home quickly. But we have no idea where to go." Stan said.
"Well, that's too bad. Now if you excuse me, I have my family to attend to. We're having weed rats with extra onions tonight." Shrek said as he rubbed his big green belly.
"So you're not gonna help us?" said Kyle.
"Uh.. no. Sorry." Shrek said as he walked away and toward the front door of his house.
Before Shrek could open the door, someone else already opened it.
"Shrek? What's with all the yelling? Is everything okay?" Out of the house came another green ogre, just like Shrek, but she was female. She was carrying one of her crying babies in her arms, Fergus, trying to calm him down.
"Oh, everything's fine sweetheart, I'm just dealing with these trespassers. They just came out of nowhere!"
"Well, let's not be too hasty, Shrek, we should at least try to hear them out. Why don't we invite them to stay for dinner?"
"Dinner? Fiona, are you out of your mind? We can't just let some strangers inside the house!" Shrek said, shaking his head.
"Come on, it'll be fine. I don't think they mean any harm." Fiona replied.
"Yeah, come on, listen to the woman!" Cartman said.
Shrek sighed. "Alright, fine. But you better wipe your feet before coming in. Actually, nevermind, I'm an ogre, what do I care? Just come in, I guess."
Shrek opened the door for the boys, and they all entered his home.
"Now, you better not go and touch things or I'm going to be extremely angry. I don't like when people I don't know try to come in and bust up my house…" Shrek groaned.
"Yeah, yeah, so hey, Mrs.. when's dinner?" Cartman said.
"Oh, sorry, I forgot to introduce myself. I'm Fiona, and this is my husband Shrek, who I am pretty sure you are already well acquainted with. Dinner will be ready in about fifteen minutes, I have a couple more preparations to complete. We're expecting more company very shortly."
Shrek frowned. "Great."
Fiona told the boys to make themselves at home and to have them sit at the family table. There were enough chairs for everyone.
All of a sudden, the front door burst open.
"Hey, hey, everybody! Donkey's here!" A loud-mouthed donkey barged into the house as if it was his own.
"Donkey! I told you to knock whenever you come over to visit! And would you lower your voice, please! Think about the babies!" Shrek said, trying not to raise his voice.
"Oh, sorry Shrek." said Donkey, lowering his head in shame.
Donkey wasn't the only new company that came; alongside him was an orange cat with a yellow-feathered hat, a belt and buckle, a fencing sword, and most noticeably, boots on his feet.
"I agree with him. You are way too loud.." Puss said.
"Oh! Donkey, Puss, you made it for dinner! It's almost ready, please have a seat. As you can see, we have a few new guests, if that's okay." said Fiona.
"New guests! I love new guests! Any friend of Shrek is a friend of mine!" Donkey said as he sat himself at the table.
"Uh, Donkey, you misunderstand. These four are not my friends. I don't even know who they are!" Shrek said.
"Then how about we all introduce ourselves, boss?" Puss said as he swifty leapt onto the table.
"For example, I am the legendary Puss in Boots! Fear me.. If you dare!" Puss said as he revealed his sword and pointed it toward the boys.
"Oh sweet, a talking kitty!" Cartman said.
"And I'm Donkey! It's nice to meet you guys!"
"Uh, yeah, nice to meet you. Uh, well I'm Stan Marsh, and these are my friends, Kyle, Cartman, and Kenny.
"It is the utmost honor to meet your acquaintances, amigos." Puss said, taking his hat off and bowing.
"Oh, that's great Puss, but can you get your dirty boots off of the dining table?!" Shrek yelled.
"Oh, my bad." Puss said as he leapt off the table and into an open seat.
"Well, gang, dinner is served!" Fiona said as she brought a huge plate over to the table. In the middle of the dining table, there was now a giant cooked rat. There was plenty for everyone.
"I don't know if you boys have ever had rats before, but trust me, it's delicious! It never hurts to try!" Fiona said.
Shrek took his carving knife and stabbed the rat. He proceeded to carve the rat into even pieces, enough for everyone to get a fair share of the delicacy. Once everyone's plate was full, it was time to eat.
"Dig in everyone!" Fiona said.
Everyone did so.
"Hey, this isn't bad at all!" Kyle said.
"Yeah, this is pretty good!" Stan said.
"Hell yeah, your cooking's the best, Miss Fiona!" Kenny said in his muffled voice of course.
"You boys are too kind. But thank you, this is Shrek's favorite as well." Fiona said.
Donkey and Puss nodded in agreement to the deliciousness of the food as they ate their rat as well. After a few minutes of gorging, everyone finished their share.
"Man, I'm stuffed!" Cartman said.
"Yeah, I couldn't eat another bite.." Stan groaned.
"Well, now that dinner's over, I think it's time for you boys to hit the road, right?" Shrek said as he belched loudly. "Better out than in, I always say."
"Hold on Shrek, I still have a couple of things to ask them. First of all, where did you boys come from?" Fiona asked politely.
"We aren't from here. We're from another world and from a town called South Park. It might be hard to believe, but an earthquake happened and when we woke up, we found ourselves in front of your house. We never meant to trespass or anything, but now we're just lost and we don't know where to go." Stan explained.
"I see. There should be some way to get you boys home." Fiona said.
"Well, as long as it gets them out of my house and soon as possible, then yeah." Shrek said.
"Shrek! Anyways, boys, I'll try and think of something tonight. I promise that we'll get you boys home no matter what. I got an idea, how about you spend the night? We'd hate to have you being outside alone in the dead of night, freezing!" Fiona said.
"Fiona, do you really think this is a good idea..?"
"It'll be fine Shrek. They can spend the night here, and then in the morning they can be on their way. I just need tonight to think of a solution to their predicament." said Fiona.
Shrek shook his head and sighed.
"I guess there's no beating you, Fiona. Alright, you lot, you can stay the night but you had better go to sleep when I tell you to sleep. There will be no messing around, especially because of these babies. They need all the sleep they can get, and I will not be happy if they are woken up by you." Shrek said.
"We promise. Thank you." said Kyle.
And so, after a few hours of talking and lounging around, it was time for everyone to go to sleep. There's plenty in store for them in the morning, that's for sure. The boys did not realize it yet, but this was just the beginning of their grand adventure.