CHAPTER ONE: REFLECTIONS

4 YEARS LATER.

I surfaced from sleep confused, peeping through creased eyes I noticed my room was much more brighter than it usually is. Slowly pulling my self from the pit of my bed, I shuffled to the window. Sun. Rays of it pouring through the window, bouncing off the 'ol trusty rusty in the front yard, turning the dull colours of the surrounding forest into a vibrant cacophony of varying greens. Yanking my window open, i hoped to smell the heat infused scents of plants rush in. Unfortunately it was mid March, the sun held no such power.

Still, sun is sun in the small town of Forks, so it was enough to put me in a good mood. I showered, got dressed and had a bowl of cereal. Whilst wondering what to do on this rare sunny Saturday, my mind wandered.

Four years moves by fast when you're waiting for something and nothing to happen. The never changing routine of work at the reception desk for Forks High School, seeing to the house with all that it entails to spending time with Charlie and our extended "family" on the reservation, the next thing I knew, I was approaching my 24th birthday.

My friendship with Jake had stayed as just that – a friendship. He had once upon a time had feelings for me but after a year of trying to win me, I really had to put my foot down.

I was sat in Jacob's garage, watching him tinker with his VW Rabbit. He had finally gotten his hands on that master cylinder he was after and now it was just finishing touches, on the engine at least. I had made us lunch, as he had a tendency to get so stuck into working on the car that he forgot to eat. Being older, though not by much, I took responsibility for making sure he got food in him on the days we hung out.

"Jake, c'mon. Time to eat. You said five minutes, ten minutes ago." I said, lightly slapping the bonnet. Jake wheeled himself out from under the car with an impish grin that at times, looked out of place on his rapidly growing frame.

"Sorry Bells, thought the cap for the oil tank had threaded, just spent all that time trying to get it back on." He replied, standing up, wiping his hands on his shorts and making a beeline for the sandwiches I left balanced on a stack of tyres. We sat down and ate in companionable silence. It was easy being around Jake. The guy radiated his own internal sunshine, pulling in anyone who needed his rays to break through their gray clouds. And he had done exactly that for me. Put the pieces back together again. I wasn't whole, far from it, but he made me feel something, if only platonically. Love was love and I was grateful I could still experience it. When we were sat like this, in our own little bubble, it was an intimacy that,whilst I enjoyed with only him, we interpreted very differently.

Jacob reached across and held my hand, which was nothing out of the ordinary for us, but occasionally he would take a chance and see if my feelings had changed. They hadn't. They never would. And despite the million different ways I've tried to let him down gently, the message still didn't get through. I'd had enough.

Jacob was starting to trace circles with his thumb on the hand he held. I could see him looking at me from the corner of my eye, waiting for me to look at him. This was how it started, we'd stare at each other, neither of us blinking until he'd start to lean his face towards me. But this would be the last time he did it. I started to turn and pull my hand from his. "Jake.. " I sighed. He grabbed hold of my hand a little tighter to keep me in place.

"Bells.. Bella. Please, how can you not see how well suited we are together. We're meant to be. You've said it yourself that being around each other is as easy as breathing. How can you not love me?" I turned to look at him. He looked so much older than he was, but at that moment he looked every bit the eighteen year old boy who was desperately in love with someone who could never feel the same.

"Yeah, being around you is as easy as breathing. I've told you Jake, you're my own personal sun. Brightening my life, bringing me back from being a zombie. Something I'll never be able to repay you for. And I do love you.. It's just not and never will be the type of love you want it to be." He let me stand then, tears threatened to spill over both our eyes. "But you know full well that my heart is his. Even if he did break it. The pieces belong to him and they always will. Even if he doesn't want them. " I wrapped my arms around me, willing myself to keep it together. I never consciously thought about him, never said his name. When I did, the void pulsed, offering to swallow me whole. But in that moment, a small amount of heartbreak fractured and turned to anger. Anger at Jacob never listening to me. I'd said no enough times, he was just choosing not to pay attention. I turned, letting the anger seep into my eyes but I kept my voice steady. "I've told you enough times Jake. You're my best friend and I also love you as such. But if you cannot and will not respect any no I've given you, then we need space." I punctuated the end of that statement by turning on my heel and walking to my truck.

"Bells, no please don't go. I promise this is the last time. I promise I'll never try again. Just please don't leave now." Jacob was practically begging at that point but it wouldn't sway me. I looked at him, like a mother trying to teach her child a lesson. "Too little too late Jake. I'm going home. I need space and that's exactly what you're going to give me. Don't text, don't call, don't come round. Wait for me to contact you." And with that, I drove off.

Three weeks went by. He kept his word, never once trying to contact me directly or indirectly. I wanted to let him stew a little bit and really understand what I meant when I said nothing would happen between us. By the fourth week, we were hanging out at his garage again. He never tried again.

I was pulled from my reflections to the present day by Charlie rummaging in his fishing cupboard. "Hey Dad. Didn't think the sun was going to be out today. Going fishing?" I enquired, crossing the kitchen to stand by him.

"Morning Bells. Yeah figured I'd try get a couple hours in whilst the weather is good." he paused, a frown just beginning to take form. "You don't mind do you?"

I chuckled. "Of course not Dad. Anything you catch I can make fancy anyhow." I smiled at him. "Do you want me to make lunch for you to take?" I asked, lifting an eyebrow.

"Naw you're okay. You baby me too much. I'll grab something on the way." he replied, halfway out the door. "See you later Bells!" Charlie called from the cruiser as he pulled away from the house. I waved from the door and closed it as he disappeared down the road.

Huh. Empty house. Sunny day. Practically no housework to do. I didn't know what to do with myself. Jacob was busy, that much I knew. Stark realization that he was my only friend. Oh well. I wandered up to my room to grab my beaten copy of Little Women, opened up all the windows in the house and curled up on the sofa to read.

I woke several hours later, a loud thud waking me. All the windows were still open and it was dark out. What the hell? I hadn't slept all day had I? Where did that come from? I staggered to my feet, stiff from laying down for so long, I walked the ground floor, closing all the windows and turning on lights. It was freezing! Deciding that I needed to warm up before I did anything else, I started heading to my room. But halfway up, I realised Charlie wasn't home and the feeling that something wasn't right started to creep in. I started running and tripped up the stairs, scraping my shin on the edge of step. As I made contact with my door handle, I heard a muffled sound, like someone struggling.

Then blinding pain in the back of my head.

Slumping against Charlies door.

A haunting laugh.

Then nothing.