Yu-Gi-Oh! 5Ds
Souls Whose Intentions Are Good
By Lucky_Ladybug
Notes: The characters are not mine and the story is! It was written for Time Thief in a YGO Valentine's gift exchange. I tried to bring in some elements of her interpretations of the characters while blending that with the core elements of my interpretations. It takes place following the Crash Town arc. As always, Radley is a good person. Canon is so vague about him that I don't feel it's out of the realm of possibility.
The more things changed, the more they stayed the same.
Crash Town was free now, its name changed to Satisfaction Town and the dusk duels abolished.
That was just fine with business tycoon Radley Ramon. He didn't care what the town's name was and he had never wanted the dusk duel system in the first place. He was glad the town was free. The people no longer had to live in fear and he, as mayor, could run it the way he saw fit.
Oh yes, the town was his in addition to his owning the dyne mine and the diner. It was a small town, and like the Old West towns on which it was modeled, he wore many hats. The Bunch was always around to help him and they held parties almost every night to celebrate life and love and cactus cider. He appreciated all of that. But in spite of all the wealth and all the power and all the people who still cared about him, there remained one thing that still bothered him immensely.
His sheriff was still immovable.
He was still hurt that Kalin had rejected every overture of goodwill and friendship, still hurt that he had been abandoned in the mines . . . still hurt that Kalin showed no remorse for even that. Yet despite how Kalin clearly hated him, he had insisted on claiming the role of sheriff. He would look out for the town; just don't get in his way and don't bother him with trivial things or dare to be friendly.
Well, he no longer had to worry on the latter. Radley had long ago soured on showing him any friendliness. Theirs was a business relationship only. Kalin had made it perfectly clear that not only was that what he wanted, he wouldn't care if Radley was dead.
So why had Radley even let Kalin take the position of sheriff? Radley would have been content to have never seen him again. But it was Kalin who had freed the town and the people loved him for it. Kalin could still be a contender when he felt like it. Frankly, having him as sheriff was a sound business decision. That was all.
He also seemed determined to play up the image of the mysterious Old West sheriff who comes in for a drink and sits alone. Tonight, as every night, he was at a corner table with a glass of . . . something. Was it root beer this time? Radley hadn't even kept track of what he had ordered. Scotch had taken the order and filled it.
The Bunch's feelings on Kalin were mixed. On the one hand, it felt wrong to them to be friendly to Kalin when Radley had been so deeply hurt by him. On the other hand, the Bunch had all hurt Radley too, and Kalin had saved the town. Usually, for the most part they stayed friendly to him, especially Scotch. But Scotch, for all his tough guy persona that he had mostly dropped, was a cheerful kid who didn't hold grudges. Scotch still wanted and hoped that they could mend whatever problems they had.
Scotch was seriously idealistic. In some ways, Radley missed being like that. But he had seen too much and had too much done to him. He wasn't an idealist any more.
Tonight was Valentine's Day. For years the Bunch had celebrated it the way they and Radley all felt it should be done, as a celebration of every kind of true love, romantic and platonic and anything else under the sun. After dinner they'd had their traditional mini concert and Scotch had selected a playlist of friendship songs for the audience's listening pleasure. Always the center of attention on the stage, Scotch had sung many of the songs and had encouraged his friends to sing some of the others. Radley had taken two of them, including an old 1970s number called Friendship (Is So Hard to Find). It was cheesy but sweet, and Scotch hung on Radley's every line.
It was impossible not to smile when seeing his idolization. Scotch believed the sun rose and set on Radley, the complete opposite of Kalin's feelings. Radley loved Scotch's and the rest of the Bunch's affections and wouldn't trade that for anything, but there was still that undeniable ache where Kalin was concerned.
It frustrated him. Why? Why did it still bother him so much about Kalin when it was clearly hopeless and he had accepted that?
Was it pride, perhaps? He wasn't used to such absolute rejection from prospective friends.
He was certainly used to absolute rejection, however. Being disowned by his family eight years ago was still a knife through his heart. He had never wanted to experience anything like that again.
Maybe it was just logic. It was incredibly awkward and uncomfortable to try to work with Kalin when the hatred was actually palpable in the air.
But . . . if it was just that, would it really hurt so much?
He drew a shaking breath as he came down from the stage and looked around the audience. Kalin was still there, slowly drinking the root beer or whatever it was. Instead of the stereotypical wide-brimmed hat to hide his eyes, his long bangs did just as well. But Radley knew what he would see if Kalin's eyes were visible. They were always cold and dead.
He really wanted Kalin to hurry up and finish his drink and get out. It was hurting again to see him there, knowing Kalin saw him and didn't care. But he needed to talk to Kalin about town matters, so he heaved a sigh and went over to the table.
Somewhat to his surprise, Kalin spoke first. "Do you really believe in what you sing?" he asked.
Radley was taken aback. "Huh?"
"Those songs about friendship. Do you believe in them, or are they just something you sing because the audience likes it?"
Radley gave him a dark smirk. "They're something I sing because Scotch likes it," he said. "But yes, I believe in them too. Friendship is hard to find. When you do, it's something to hang on to no matter what."
Kalin grunted. "The Bunch all betrayed you and joined Malcolm when you fell," he said. "And you forgave them?"
Radley frowned. He hardly felt Kalin had a right to question his personal decisions under the circumstances. "Yeah, I did," he said. "They were all scared. I was the only thing that gave them hope. When I fell, their world shattered."
"Some of them left you to die in the mines," Kalin continued. "I know Malcolm put at least three of them to work as guards there. They were too scared to help you and you died."
A fist clenched at Radley's side. "They never thought I would die," he said. A warning tone was creeping into his voice. This was not Kalin's right. If he cared about Radley, it would be, but not as it was.
"That makes a difference?"
"Of course it does," Radley said crisply.
Kalin scoffed. "You still suffered because of them."
"And because of you and Yusei," Radley finally snapped. "You both left me behind. You didn't care what happened to me!"
Kalin offered no reply now. The shadows from his bangs fell across his eyes, leaving them unseen and unreadable as he stared off at nothing.
Radley snarled. Unapologetic as always.
"At least they said how sorry they were," he said.
"An apology could never be good enough for what was done to you," Kalin muttered.
"It's better than what you do," Radley retorted. He wanted to get away from this hurtful subject. Not giving Kalin a chance to reply again (if he even would have), he went on to the business he had come over to discuss in the first place.
"I'm breaking ground for the department store tomorrow," he announced.
Kalin grunted. "I know." He didn't skip a beat at the change of subject. He half-seemed to have expected it.
"Just make sure to keep all the animals away," Radley continued. "The last thing we need are those silly goats breaking the fence for the umpteenth time and running amuck all down Main Street!"
"They'll be kept away." Kalin finished the drink and stared out the window at the dark night.
Something in that action completely snapped Radley's long-suffering patience. They were caught in a rut. Every night they shared the same type of cold, matter-of-fact conversations and it always left Radley feeling even emptier than before. He was sick of it.
"Why do we keep doing this, Kalin?!" he demanded. "You hate me and I'm not crazy about you either! Why don't you move on, or go home to your friends, or something?!"
"Then fire me," Kalin said, still without emotion. "Only you won't, because you know the town would riot."
Radley set his teeth. "If you like the feeling of your insides being hollowed out, I don't!"
"I've gotten used to it." Kalin kept staring out the window.
"I never wanted to get used to it! If it wasn't for you, I wouldn't have!" Radley turned away, clenching a fist at his side.
"If it wasn't for me, you wouldn't have died."
Or at least that was what it sounded like Kalin had said. The loud scraping of the chair on the floor and then his shoes clacking on the floor rather drowned it out. But even just the impression that he had said such a thing was so shocking to Radley that he chased after Kalin all the way to the door. "Wait, what?!" He grabbed for Kalin's arm.
"We both know it's true," Kalin said, still without emotion. "You said it again several minutes ago, and you're right. Yusei and I left you behind. You were killed because of that."
". . . And you always acted like you couldn't care less that it happened," Radley said. "That's how you've been acting tonight too." He tried to walk around to see into Kalin's face. It was mostly impassive, as usual, but there was a spark of pain in his eyes that took Radley aback.
"It was all my fault. I couldn't let anything else happen to you because of me." Kalin's voice caught in his throat. He finally pulled his arm away, stepping out into the night.
Radley just stared after him in shock. "Kalin! Hey, wait!" he cried.
Of course, Kalin didn't stop.
Radley watched him go, shaken and confused to the core. After all the weeks, months of constant rebuffs and rudeness and outright coldness, why . . . why would Kalin suddenly care, or at least act like he suddenly cared?
Or . . .
Was it at all possible, conceivable that Kalin had cared all along but had hidden it?
No. That was impossible to believe after the way they had started out. If Kalin cared now, something had changed him along the way. But what?
Scotch bounded up to Radley with energy and confusion, startling him out of his thoughts. "What was that all about?!"
Radley shook his head. "I don't know. He . . . actually acted like it bothered him that I died. I've never got that vibe from him before."
"Then he must be cracking too, like you did!" Scotch said. "You should go after him, Radley! Don't just let it stand like this!"
Radley frowned as he turned to face his friend, and Scotch shrank back at the darkness of that look. He never liked when Radley was upset, even though Radley never took it out on any of them.
"So what am I supposed to say if I catch up to him?" Radley wondered.
Scotch perked up at that. "You'll know! You always have the right words!"
Radley had to smile a bit. "I do, huh?"
Scotch gave a vigorous nod. "We all love you because you know the right things to say and do," he said. "You made us all feel like we matter when no one else cared!"
"Yeah, and that's what I tried to do for Kalin too." Radley couldn't keep the bitter hurt out of his voice. "I was nothing to him."
"If he really felt like that, he wouldn't have walked off talking like he did just now!" Scotch insisted. "Yusei said he was suffering from depression. Maybe he still is, but now about what he did to you!"
Radley's eyes widened. That thought was more than enough to alarm him and spur him outside. Kalin's guilt over hurting his old friends had led to him coming here as a fancy way of committing suicide. If there was any chance, any splinter of feeling for Radley likewise, and he really had reached his breaking point, what might he do to himself now?
"Kalin! Hey, Kalin, come out!" he called as he walked swiftly down the wooden sidewalk. "I need to talk to you!"
But he knew it wasn't likely to work. If Kalin had wanted to talk, he wouldn't have left. He wouldn't answer Radley's calls now. Some of the townspeople looked out of the businesses' windows curiously, but they all looked clueless. No one had seen Kalin.
Finally in desperation Radley ran into the saloon. Unlike Radley, Kalin liked alcohol. More than once Radley had found him in there drinking the bar rats under the table—much to Radley's chagrin since Kalin was below the legal drinking age. But he wasn't there now.
Fred, the regular barkeeper, looked up with a start. "What's wrong, Radley?" he asked in concern.
"Has Kalin been in here?" Radley asked.
"Not all evening," Fred said, and the patrons nodded agreement.
Radley gave a heavy sigh. "Okay then. Thanks."
He turned away, his mind reeling. If Kalin wasn't there, where else would he even want to go in town? If he didn't want to be found, he wouldn't go back to his office.
The dark silhouette of the mountain caught his eye and he looked up at it. Maybe Kalin had left the town borders for another spot.
He hurried out of the town on foot, not wanting to alert Kalin to his approach with his Harley. As he drew near to the plateau under the dyne mountain, the shadow of a person was visible. Kalin was there, shaking, holding something in his hand that Radley couldn't make out. But the moon caught something shiny and he feared the worst.
"Kalin?! Kalin, no! Don't do anything rash!" He struggled to climb up the plateau, nearly slipping more than once in his panic before reaching the top.
Kalin just turned to look at him, his harmonica slipping from his fingers to dangle around his neck. His eyes widened in surprise. "Radley . . . ?"
Radley breathed heavily, leaning forward with his hands on his knees as he fully took in the scene. "Kalin . . . I thought you had a knife. . . ." He wasn't sure whether the dominant emotion he felt now was relief or foolishness.
". . . You thought I was going to kill myself, and you were worried?" Kalin was even more surprised now, and guilty.
"I chased all over town for you!" Radley cried. "I thought I'd find you dead!"
"And after all I did to you, all that I've still been doing, you . . ." Kalin shook his head and looked away. It was so much to take in.
"Yeah, you've really been hurting me ever since you first came here!" Radley burst out. "I don't like it. I've never understood it! I thought you might show some remorse after what you and Yusei did got me killed, but no! Nothing! You never even apologized! And then you just keep pouring salt in the wounds by agreeing to work for me and still treating me like trash! You're right—it was a business decision to hire you and no, I don't know how to get out of it without the town going up in arms! But I can't keep going on this way with you, because I still care! That's why it hurts so much, Kalin! I still stupidly care about you and I wonder why I was never worth a chance! Why I'm still not worth it even though we protect the town and you take my money!" He turned away. Now he was shaking.
Kalin was getting to his feet now. "You were always worth it," he rasped. "I wasn't. I'm still not. I stayed to protect the town, but I couldn't bear that I'd hurt you. I didn't know how to fix it, but I knew I wasn't someone you should ever get close to. I hurt all of my friends over and over! . . . And I failed at not hurting you more. I thought it would be better all around if I stayed closed off like before. But . . . it's not. You can't take it, and . . . I can't either. I don't know what to do now."
Radley slowly turned back, staring at Kalin in disbelief. ". . . All this time since taking over as sheriff, you really have cared and wanted to be with me even as you were pushing me away? Kalin, that's just . . . that's completely illogical!"
"That's all I will ever be," Kalin said. "I destroyed the Enforcers, my reputation, my sanity! I gave in to the darkness because I wanted to see my friends again! I tried to kill Yusei and destroy the world, and then my selfish actions trying to atone for all of that led to my hurting you and you being left behind to be killed! And even now, I don't know how to stop hurting you! I've been hurting you all this time, just like I hurt Yusei by trying to commit suicide in Malcolm's mine!"
"Kalin." Radley drew a shaking breath and laid his hands on Kalin's shoulders. Instead of shaking him in a fit of emotional hysteria and panic, Radley just looked into his eyes. "You know how to protect the town and you know how to look after the kids. They're always praising you. You can do so much more than hurt people! Now that you know we're both sick of how you've been treating me, stop punishing yourself! It's punishing me too. Please . . . if you really wanna be friends, just let me in."
Kalin cracked. He choked on a sob before falling forward into Radley's arms and clutching him in a desperate embrace. "I'm sorry. . . . I'm so sorry!" he cried. "I don't know how you could ever forgive me! I . . . I'm not worthy."
Radley just hugged him close. "Oh Kalin . . . buddy. . . . When you first showed up, I saw a good guy in there. It got hard to even believe he really existed after a while. But now I know he does . . . and I still wanna get to know that guy."
"How?" Kalin rasped.
"I'm a pretty forgiving guy, especially once I know what's going on," Radley said. "It makes a difference."
Kalin just shook his head and clutched Radley close. So many wasted weeks, time when they could have been friends like first Radley and then both of them had longed for. . . . He didn't want to waste any more time, but he still felt so unworthy, so filthy, to even be touching Radley. How had Radley forgiven the Bunch? How could he forgive Kalin?
"How?" he finally asked again. "I don't understand. It doesn't make sense! Not after everything that was done to you!"
Radley hesitated, pondering the answer. Clearly the simple answers he was giving were not good enough for Kalin's anguish and guilt. But he wasn't sure anything he could say would truly satisfy a heart hurting this badly.
"I don't know myself," he said at last. "Only . . . I always wished my family would give me another chance. I never wanted to deny another chance to anyone else if they were sincere about it . . . especially someone I care about."
Kalin looked up at him. "Your family?"
Radley sighed. "My family disowned me for being too much of a rebel for them to take. But . . . I still love them and wish they'd want to be a family again. I just . . . can't forget the good times, and the things that went wrong don't invalidate that for me."
"But we never had good times," Kalin objected. "I was always cold to you!"
Radley smiled sadly. "We actually did have some nice times, or I remember them like that, anyway," he said. "We had some deep talks sometimes, and we helped each other out of some bad jams. I'd always see glimpses of that good person during those times. I wanted to see more."
Kalin shook his head. "And I never let you."
"But you will now, won't you?" Radley said softly.
Kalin looked away. "Can I really promise anything, after how far I've fallen? I don't know that I can be what you want me to be."
"Kalin . . . I don't wanna change you," Radley said. "I just want you to be you, the best version of you. I know that guy is in there. I'm seeing him now. Just let me in and the rest will take care of itself."
Kalin slowly looked back. Now his eyes were no longer dead, but alive and conflicted and searching. He drew a shaking breath. "I don't know if I even remember how to let someone in."
"You broke and cried," Radley said. "You let yourself be vulnerable with me. Just trust me enough to show me what you keep hidden, or if you don't want to always do that, trust me enough to want to spend time with me anyway."
Kalin looked down. "I wanted to, every day. That's why . . . I always come to the diner."
"I had no idea," Radley said. "But now that I do, I'll welcome you in again, just like before."
"I don't deserve it," Kalin said brokenly.
"Who's to say?" Radley replied. "It's what we both want, so . . . in this case, being a little selfish is a good thing."
Kalin stared into those emerald green eyes, so filled with warmth and forgiveness directed at him . . . him, of all people! He still felt unworthy and unclean. Part of him wanted to look away, to push Radley away again and insist their happiness could never be.
But . . .
The other part wanted to give in, to accept what Radley was offering, to finally allow himself to try to learn to be happy again after so long. He had thought before that he had a chance of that, after defeating Lawton and giving the people in town another chance to rebuild. But when he had learned that Radley had been tortured to death in the mines, any hope of that had fled into the wind.
". . . I . . . prayed for you," he said at last. "I've never prayed, but . . . when I found you dead, I prayed for you. I told God I'd never hurt you again . . . if only He would bring you back."
Radley's eyes flickered in his surprise. ". . . Then don't hurt me again," he said softly.
"I already broke that promise every day without meaning to!" Kalin cried. "I thought I was doing the right thing . . . and I wasn't. . . ."
"You thought you were, and you didn't think I'd be hurt," Radley said. "God won't hold that against you."
"I broke it so much, and yet now I'm being rewarded with your kindness and love?!" Kalin shook his head. "It doesn't make sense!"
Radley finally smiled a bit. "I guess I feel like I'm the one being rewarded," he said. "I've wanted your friendship for so long. So . . . if my reward ends up rewarding you too . . . that's okay, isn't it?" He winked.
Kalin swallowed hard. It still didn't make sense to him. Why would Radley even want it? But . . . he did, and Kalin did, and it was all at once wonderful and frightening and glorious and all that Kalin wanted.
Kalin hugged Radley close to his heart. "It's okay," he rasped. "It's okay."
Radley smiled, returning the embrace. "That's all I wanted to hear," he said.