"Seriously, why am I here right now?" Superman asked himself, as he faced down with a highly agitated grizzly bear in the middle of a residential neighborhood. He was making sure the bear didn't go towards anyone's house, but he really wasn't sure what else to do.

Apparently, someone had an exotic zoo, and just decided to let all the animals out. He and Wonder Woman had come to deal with the more dangerous ones. Last he checked, she was dealing with chimpanzees.

As Superman stood in the street trying to keep the grizzly occupied a number of police cars pulled up behind him. And several officers with rifles got out.

"You ok Superman?" the lead officer asked, as he approached.

"Yeah I'm good. If you ever see me fighting with a grizzly bear, help the bear." Superman said with a big grin on his face, hoping to ease the tension of the stressed out officers.

The lead officer looked at him confused, but the patrolman behind him burst out laughing.

"He gets it." Superman pointed to the laughing officer. Before becoming serious again. "Any word on those tranquilizers?"

"They should be right behind us. We prioritized the animals that you and Wonder Woman weren't dealing with."

"Ok."

Just then the bear charged, one officer took a shot. Except in his fear, his aim was way off and he hit Superman in the back of the head.

"Hold your fire." Another officer grabbed him.

Ignoring the bullet, Superman stepped forward and used a judo type move to flip the bear over onto the grass. Hopefully he didn't hurt it too badly.

"C'mon dude, just chill. We're trying to help you here."

Seconds later a SWAT truck pulled up behind the patrol cars, and out stepped a team carrying special rifles.

"Superman, back up!" The Captain said, firing the tranquilizer rounds the second the Man of Steel was clear.

The bear got even more agitated, but he didn't charge anyone. He seemed confused, and a second later he just laid down. In less than a minute, he was full on sleeping. Steady breathing, he looked calm.

"Good shooting." Superman said to the SWAT Captain.

"Thanks, for your help Superman." The captain approached calmly. "Majestic animals, I'm happy not to kill them. But they should not be here."

"I agree."

"Where's Wonder Woman?" the Patrol officer asked.

Superman looked up, taking a few seconds to track her. Until he realized she was right on top of them, she was carrying a terrified chimpanzee across the sky right towards them. She set the chimp down in the street and held its arms up.

"Hit him with the tranquilizer!" She shouted, causing the SWAT to raise his rifle.

"Move!" He shouted to Wonder Woman.

"Just take the shot, she'll be fine." Superman advised.

Just as before, a couple of center mass hits and the chimp was out like a light.

Superman closed the distance between him and Diana. He noticed that her lasso was on the ground in front of the chimp, evidently it pulled it off her belt.

"This little guy would not listen to me." Diana vented.

"This has been a weird day." Superman responded.

"Indeed. Oh, happy Valentine's Day."

"It's Valentine's? I didn't even realize that was today." He hadn't been paying attention at all. Probably because he was single single.

"Yup."

Superman bent down to pick up her lasso and hand it to her. Just as he touched it Diana asked a question. "Any plans for later?"

"Oh nothing much just gonna go home and jack off while thinking about you."

As Superman passed her the rope, his eyes bugged out. As did Diana's, on top of her jaw dropping.

"Heavens to Murgatroyd, I just said that out loud." He said wishing he could sink into the asphalt and become one with the ground.

Diana froze, she didn't say a word, forcing Superman to wallow in his embarrassment alone.

He suddenly spun around and started to address the officers who were just standing back. "So, the Animal Control trucks to handle these guys are a couple blocks away. I'll help you guys get em loaded up and I'll leave the rest to you."

"Yes sir." The SWAT Captain said to Superman, then noticed how awkward he seemed. "You ok sir?"

"No. I'm not ok. I'm fine though."

When the truck arrived, Superman quickly loaded the bear and shot into the sky. Tracking for the Fortress of Solitude. Diana stayed to get the chimp loaded up before she headed for the Hall of Justice.

Who knows what that chimp was touching so she went straight to the shower for a thorough scrub. Then she'd talk to Clark, she couldn't leave him hanging like that.

Clark sat under the steamy water, he'd scrubbed himself clean. Now he was just sitting there. Even alone, he was too embarrassed to follow through with his original plans. He was seriously contemplating leaving the entire planet. He could be a farmer, find someplace with quality fruit and teach the natives how to make cider.

And when he got the alert that someone had entered the fortress he wished he'd left already.

There was only one other person who had access, Diana. She was to be the fortress's caretaker in the event something happened to him. He was currently regretting that decision.

He left the shower and wrapped the towel around his waist. Only to walk straight into Diana standing in the bedroom before he could get to some clothes.

"Kal I'm not offended." She said, pulling the lasso off the belt she wore around the chiton dress she was wearing. Holding it in her hand with her fingers intertwined with the coils.

Clark just took a pained breath.

Diana continued. "It's ok, it really is. I have lost count how many sex dreams I've had about you since we've met."

That raised an eyebrow for Clark.

"So to save you from dying of embarrassment and in the spirit of Valentine's and the fact that Cupid is literally my cousin. I'll tell you about some of them."

"Ok?" Clark didn't know how to respond at this point.

"One time we were in a glass lakehouse, and we didn't wear any clothes. Another time you crash landed on Themyscira, and I was to carry out your sentence of death by snu snu. There was the time I dreamed we had 9 kids, and I was legitimately sad when I woke up. Those are just a few of the recent ones."

He was curious now. "How often do you have sex dreams?"

"Not all the time. But when I do, you're often the main player. And that's just when I'm sleeping. Don't get me started on intrusive thoughts. The time you grew a beard? I could've mounted you right then and there had we not been in a sold out stadium."

"Really? I thought everybody hated the beard."

"You thought wrong. There's also the time I was backing up and you grabbed my hip to stop me from bumping into you. You could've slapped my ass right then and I'd have just said 'harder daddy', long story short the sexual tension between us is real. So please don't be embarrassed."

"Thanks for that." It didn't help that much, but he had to say something.

Diana then turned to leave, she didn't know if it was the lasso acting on her truth or if it was a legitimate accident, but as she lowered her hand, it bumped him at the waist and knocked the towel off. It must've gotten caught in the rope somehow because it pulled away as she turned and fell on the floor behind her.

Diana didn't just look with her eyes, her entire head tilted down, not hiding for a second where she was looking. He was much more impressive in person than in her dreams.

"Can this day just end?" He said.

Diana, decided to once again even out the embarrassment. She quickly unhooked her entire belt and pushed the dress off her shoulders onto the floor, giving him a full view of her naked form.

Like she did him, he openly ogled her.

Diana eyed Clark up and down, mostly down as his blood got pumping. And she began to get a little confused. "What are we doing right now?"

"I don't know anymore." Clark recalled the afternoon, "Exotic zoo animals, I picked up your lasso, and said something I planned to take to my grave."

"I didn't want you to feel bad, but I didn't come here planning to tell you all that."

"I appreciate it nonetheless." Clark started to think extra hard, while not taking his eyes off her. "So, what's the weirdest thing that happened to us today? Before right now."

"It was all weird."

"Let's see, I hip tossed a bear onto someone's front lawn, I got shot by a cop."

"You did? That's weird, because right after you left, I did too, in the back, he said he thought the bear was waking up. Did he have red hair?"

"He did."

"I would bet my last shekel that it was my cousin. Which would explain why right now I want to ride you like you're a wild stallion." Diana admitted.

Clark's expression suggested that he would be agreeable to that. "It's my dream to have your thighs squeezing my head."

"That sounds lovely. You know the thing about love bullets, they can't make us do anything we didn't want to do anyway."

"Really?"

"Really." She confirmed.

Diana then took him by the hand, and pulled him to the bed where she pushed him down and climbed on top.

"Happy Valentine's day Superman."

"Wonder Woman. Happy Valentine's day."