Chapter 56

"I don't know how." Melyssa dropped her voice to a near whisper, tears finally building in her eyes. She missed Crow so much while she was gone and the others, especially Ash and Rean. "They all hate me for what I did, especially Rean. What they don't understand is I had no choice that night. McBurn would've killed everyone and…I couldn't let that happen. I couldn't have their blood on my hands! For whatever reason, the Grandmaster wanted to recruit me. I'm the reason for the train attack. I'm the reason why we went to Jurai in the first place. And they won't tell me why. Even after two years, I STILL don't know what makes ME so damn special!" She hit the steering wheel, letting a few tears slide down her cheeks and wiped them away angrily. "I don't want to keep living this lie, this life, pretending to be someone I'm not, but…" If she revealed who she truly was, their protection would be gone because Ouroboros would come for not only her, but her friends and her family as well.

"Melyssa… have you considered that if McBurn really wanted you dead, or Crow, he would have done it by now? He's had plenty of opportunities." But her tone was gentle, knowing that Melyssa had been a young, naïve woman who had feared for her friends and family. Ouroboros -McBurn- had exploited that, made her believe if she didn't do it, everyone would die. They were predators, preying on the good hearted and it made her sick because Melyssa had been exceptionally good hearted. "You're giving them power over you and not trusting your friends and their ability to protect themselves. You do them a great disservice, just as I imagine they have done to you."

If anyone spoke complete truth to her, if there was one person in Erebonia she trusted MORE than her friends and family, it was Aurelia. This woman had saved her in the very city they were currently in. She was right. Ouroboros had all the power because of Melyssa fear of losing someone else she loved and cared about. Papa's death had rocked her and then finding out her own father was an Enforcer of Ouroboros…Melyssa hadn't been thinking clearly that night. As much as she hated admitting it, her mind was focused on protecting her mother and classmates, by any means necessary.

"They – no, Rean trusted me that night to keep my head on straight and I failed him. I failed and all I had to do was find out the truth from my father." Well, they hadn't failed in that mission, but…the aftermath was a huge failure. "What should I do, Aurelia? How do I even begin coming clean and getting my life back?"

"Honesty is usually the best policy."

If Crow or Ash didn't at least suspect then they were not as smart as she usually gave them credit for. Admittedly, Melyssa looked very different, a lot had changed about her in the past two years and it showed in the way she carried herself. One thing she would grudgingly give Ouroboros credit for, they had turned the young woman into a warrior. It was visible in Melyssa's posture. Not that she approved of turning a human into a living weapon for sordid purposes. Rean had left Crossbell last she knew. Rean was not… Rean and hadn't been since that tragic night.

"May I ask you a question? About the nature of your relationship with Schwarzer?"

Why in Gehenna did butterflies suddenly erupt in her stomach at that question? She knew why. It was forbidden for students and Instructors to be together and…that kiss she shared with Rean, in the clearing, had never left her memory.

"Sure, you can ask me anything, Aurelia. I will be completely honest with you." There was no reason to lie to her about anything since Aurelia had instantly pinpointed who she was. It made her wonder if Crow, Ash and even Machias knew the truth, which was why the boys were giving her such a hard time. That would make sense, the heathens.

It would make sense and given how some things about them had changed over the last two years, hardened so to speak. Crow especially would be prone to harassing her, poking and prodding to get a reaction out of her.

"Were you two romantically involved on any level?" She asked bluntly, her usual way of asking anything with no sugarcoating.

If Melyssa and Rean HAD been involved, it would explain so much about his drastic personality change. She knew a part of it was due to his over-caring nature. Rean had felt like he had failed everyone, mostly Melyssa and that had had an effect on him but she didn't think it would be THIS drastic.

Melyssa was quiet for a minute, trying to think of how she wanted to word her answer. "We weren't in a relationship, but…we did have a moment where it would be considered 'romantic', I guess."

"Romantic, how?" Aurelia pressed, wanting all the facts and narrowed her eyes at the pink tinge overtaking Melyssa's cheeks. "Did you two…?"

"No! No, Goddess, no! I-I've never, um…" Why was this hard to talk about? Even after two years and she was an adult now, talking about sex always made her flush and made her nervous. "It was a kiss. We shared a kiss and I told him it was wrong and I wouldn't break the rules of Thors Branch School. And that was it." It also happened the day of the catastrophe because later that night, all Gehenna broke loose and she was taken by Ouroboros. "I won't deny I was attracted to him and I know I shouldn't have been because I was a student and he was my Instructor. That's why I put a stop to it before anything else could happen…and I don't think he took it very well." Maybe that was why he came up with the idea to put her in danger in the first place by using her as bait.

Now that she thought about it, as much as it hurt, that made a lot of sense.

"Being cut off or being rejected?" Aurelia asked immediately, already knowing Rean wouldn't hold being 'cut off' against a woman. She doubted he had a thimble full of experience himself. Being rejected on the other hand… that was a whole new ballgame, but she didn't see Rean putting someone in danger on purpose for rejecting him. "No, don't answer, it doesn't matter. Suffice to say, I know, knew, him well enough to say with all confidence that Rean did NOT put you in danger's way lightly or out of spite." And now it was killing him slowly.

"How did you know I was…never mind." That was a dumb question. Aurelia could read between the lines and, somehow, she could always read Melyssa like a book. "I would hope he wouldn't. Even in the short amount of time we knew each other, I trusted him to protect me as an Instructor would."

Rean was more than that to her, though. Melyssa wasn't sure what he was, but it definitely went past a student/Instructor relationship. Was it love? She didn't know. She thought she loved Crow for the longest time and he had put a kibosh on that. Then there was Ash…and her feelings were all jumbled when it came to him.

"I trust your judgment more than anyone, Aurelia. How should I go about doing this? Who should I tell first?"

"Crow." Aurelia said without even needing to think twice. "After everything you did to bring his memories back and how hard you worked to get to where you were, in honor of him… He hides it well, but your disappearance affected him almost as greatly as it did Rean. Crow is also the one most likely to understand as well as help you break free of your chains with Ouroboros." Since he obviously had the most experience there. "Providing he isn't already aware of who you are and is just waiting on the right time to confront you." Or for her to finally admit it to him.

Sometimes, Crow Armbrust made absolutely no sense to anyone, not even her.

Melyssa shut her eyes, looking away from Aurelia and opened them to stare out the window, confliction rearing its ugly head. "What if he wants nothing to do with me?" Her voice had gone quiet, the trouble and fear evident in her voice.

"That's a risk you will have to take, Melyssa. I never said this would be easy. Maybe he will be angry with you and cut you off for a while, maybe he will tell everyone who you truly are, or…maybe he'll understand since he's been in almost the exact same position you are now." That made Melyssa look back at her and Aurelia cracked the barest hint of a smile. "There really is only one way to find out."

Was it a risk she was willing take, knowing Ouroboros was lurking and spying on her? McBurn had made it clear she was being watched. The apartment had been set up by Ouroboros, so more than likely, they had some way of keeping tabs on everything she did. If she did tell Crow, she would have to take him someplace away from the apartment building, like she did with Aurelia. Granted, Aurelia forced her to do this, but Melyssa didn't fault her for it at all. Driving back to Crossbell City, she dropped Aurelia off on the corner where her apartment building was, which was on the other side of the city and went to her own. Melyssa had a lot of thinking to do, deep down knowing what the right decision was already.

"You look fantastic."

"Don't mind him, he got punched." Crow laughed, half carrying Ash up the sidewalk just as Melyssa got out of her now parked car.

"She does look fantastic, like a secretarial play doll…"

"He got punched hard. Someone came at Machias, who decided he wanted an after-hours drink at his favorite pub."

Crow shook his head, hoisting Ash up when the pink eyed bonehead tried walking by himself. Machias was more than capable of defending himself, but he wasn't technically supposed too, he was in theory supposed to have pristine, white hands, hence the bodyguards. Machias had been lamenting the loss of a 'good and proper' fight after Ash and Crow had stepped in.

"He wasn't even targeting Mach, it was just a random drunk… with a mean hook." Ash muttered, shaking his head and his hair shifted, revealing a lovely little bruised knot. "I'm fine." He shrugged his friend off of him, standing perfectly still. "Ow…"

"No, you're not fine because you can't even walk straight."

Melyssa quickly joined them and draped Ash's arm around her shoulders, looking up at him. This reminded her so much of when she found him in the woods, burnt and bloody. Together, they had gone down to the creek for some water and Crow and Rean had found them in a…precarious position. Ash had shielded her completely with his body, thinking it was whoever had attacked the train coming to finish the job.

"Come on, one foot in front of the other now. If you're good, I'll doctor you up myself and maybe even kiss that knot on your head."

"Don't threaten me with a good time," He muttered, blinking wearily down at her and then flashed her a lopsided grin.

"Up to my place. His still isn't unpacked." Crow said, leading the way inside and for once, they even took the elevator. Soon enough, between him and Lysa, Ash was parked on his couch and Crow was in the kitchen, making an ice pack.

"You should get me a beer."

"You should shut up and let Lys finish cleaning that knot on your hard skull." Crow shot back with a snort, but he did get himself one, cracking it open quite audibly.

This reminds me so much of the better days. I've missed these two so much. Melyssa shook herself mentally while continuing to clean up Ash's wound, slapping a bandage on it and kissed it, just like she said she would. "There, all better. I told you if you were good, I'd do it." She smiled at him genuinely, seeing the twinkle in those pink eyes and had to look away, cleaning the mess up from the first-aid kit. If I tell them together, Ash will completely flip out. Aurelia is right, if I'm doing this, it has to be Crow first, one on one. I owe him that after forcing him to remember me and then I left him…I hurt them all. "Crow?" She took his hand to pull him further into the kitchen while Ash continued grumbling in the living room. "I need to talk to you, but we can't do it here. It has to be somewhere…secluded. I know a place on the outskirts of the city. Will you come with me tonight, after Ash is sleeping?"

Now the good mood was gone and replaced with caution, his fiery red eyes searching hers intently. "Any particular mode of dress?" The question was casual, but the look on his face was not.

A 'stranger' wanted to take him to a secluded place on the outskirts of the city… at night. Now, normally, he would have had a joke about a beautiful woman and all that, but… she wasn't exactly giving off the come hither vibe right now. Crow had been ambushed and lured into traps one time to many to fall for it again thanks to a pretty, familiar place.

"No…" Melyssa did not blame him for being on guard and skeptical. She was springing this on him out of nowhere.

What if this was a mistake?

What if this completely blew up in her face?

Was Aurelia right in believing Crow could help her reclaim her life and leave Ouroboros? Don't lose your nerve now! "Midnight, meet me at my car and... if you change your mind, I'll understand." She stepped closer to him, searching those crimson orbs for any indication she should back out of this idea. "Keep this between us. For now. I will see you tonight."

Right there was another bell ringing an alarm in his head. Keep this between us. Right there, he could already envision his lifeless body being found in a ditch outside of Crossbell somewhere. Chances were, he'd be naked and his bank accounts drained. He made a mental note to not take any personal items with him, like his wallet. Crow was going to be stingy in death. Bobbing his head to show he understood, he swept back towards Ash, who was looking tired.

"You'll live." He pressed the beer against the knot.

"I wish I wouldn't, this hurts." He grumbled.

"Get some rest, Ash. I will see you guys later."

Melyssa left the apartment and went to her own, hating how twisted her stomach felt. It was in knots and it was only going to intensify until she had the talk with Crow later that night. Food was not on the agenda, but she had to eat something. Salad and small sandwich, it was. She was also bringing her Cutlass and crossbow, not taking any chances, just in case he wanted to fight her after he heard what she had to say.