Chapter 60

"You have to stop blaming yourself for what happened, Rean. None of this is your fault. It's nobody's fault except Ouroboros." And mine since I'm the reason they came in the first place. "I know that's what you've been doing these past two years. Blaming yourself for me being taken and thinking you used me as bait. I've got news for you, even if you didn't instruct me to meet with my father, I was going to do it anyway. I wanted answers for what he did to Papa and my Mom, to our family. It was personal for me and I shouldn't have let my emotions get the better of me, but I did. I didn't care what the consequences were. And I don't regret saving Crow, my Dad and all of you because, had I not gone, McBurn would have destroyed all of you in front of me. He would have made me watch, he's told me so on many occasions." She wiped her tears away, finally looking up at the stars. "So please…please stop blaming yourself for what happened. Nobody knew what was going to happen and we couldn't have known it was all an elaborate plot by Ouroboros to begin with. You know that."

"Sure, Melyssa," Rean gave her a sad, twisted little smile and shook his head. "I'll stop blaming myself when you stop feeling guilty over everything."

He wasn't surprised when she blinked and then looked away from him. Yeah, exactly. It was always easy to tell people 'don't feel bad, don't blame yourself, etc.', but the truth of the matter was it wasn't as easy to STOP feeling those things. Her own mother had helped her father escape that night, nobody had gotten answers to any of their questions. Not her, not him… and now her family was missing in action.

"You know, you could run. We could help you disappear." She didn't have to do this, fight this again, because she had a lot more than the rest of them to lose this time around.

She started laughing at that ridiculous suggestion and immediately shook her head, the smile on her face full of sadness. "No." Her voice changed, a darkness tinging it. "This is my fight more than anyone else's. Like I told Crow, it's my cross to bear. They forced me to become an Enforcer. They took me away from everyone I ever loved and cared about. They isolated me for TWO years from the world, all to try to turn me into a killer of their making. They KILLED my Papa, took my father and forced my mother out of her home, forced her to start her life over. They have destroyed COUNTLESS lives and have shed way too much innocent blood. And you're telling me I should run away like a coward? I'd rather die than be a coward, Rean. If I die, at least it will be on MY terms and not as their damn puppet." McBurn would die; she would find a way to kill him, no matter if she went down with him.

Melyssa was just one of many with the same story in Zemuria. Rean imagined this played out a lot more often than people knew. Ouroboros just had that kind power, that kind of grip on the country. Her fight more than anyone else's… he smiled sadly, looking away from her.

"It doesn't change the fact that we're all here again. Gathering in a large group again, preparing to go up against them… again." She would have help, her friends, backing her in a way they hadn't before. "When this is all over with, what will you do, Melyssa Brackett?" Hopefully not put back on one of those atrocious masks.

That was a question she didn't know the answer to. "I really don't know, to be honest."

She didn't expect to survive this battle. McBurn would be gunning straight for her and they could use that to their advantage. The Grandmaster wouldn't be involved, she always left it to her Enforcers and Anguis's to take care of the job for her. To clean up the messes she made.

"Haven't thought that far ahead, just taking one day at a time."

Following the way of the sword wasn't an option. She had tainted it the moment she agreed to become an Enforcer of Ouroboros. It hurt her, but she had enough pride and honor in the sword not to pursue that path any longer.

"What about you, Rean Schwarzer?" Now she looked at him, the dark tinge in her tone gone. "What will YOU do?"

Rean fell silent again as he considered that. He had no desire to teach anymore. He knew he couldn't be 'friends' with his students, and he had never been good at towing the line with friendly and friend, he cared too deeply and it bit him in the backside. Kind of like two years ago. He had no interest in joining a faction. To be honest, Rean was tired of fighting, of waging war against Ouroboros. He felt weary and he wasn't even that old.

"Would it be selfish of me to say I want to retire?" He asked finally, resting his head against his kneecaps, legs drawn partially to his chest. "With everything going on, I know there really isn't… it isn't an option, not when there's always another battle looming, another crisis to deal with, but sometimes, I think I'd like to just… put my Tachi up and call it a day. At least for a while."

"So do it. That's not selfish at all. You've given more than enough of yourself and your time to the fight, Rean. Like you said, there's always going to be another crisis, another battle…that doesn't mean you have to be involved in all of them. You're a person too."

A person, a man, she loved.

Not a day went by she didn't think about him while she was gone. However, she knew in her heart she could never have him; there was too much damage done between them. "I would not blame you one bit if you retired to your hometown and spent the rest of your days soaking in a hot spring." None of them were that old, honestly, but after everything they'd been through, Rean and Crow especially, they had definitely aged a lot more than they should have. "I gave up the way of the sword two years ago…and I'm not going back to it after this. Maybe I'll put my Cutlass and my Crossbow up." That made Rean look at her with a raised brow and she shrugged. "They said swordsmanship wasn't enough for me, I needed something more, so I was forced to train with a Crossbow. It's not bad, actually, but nothing compares to my Cutlass."

She wouldn't be able to follow the path of Eight Leaves One Blade. Not many people could, to be honest. It's style was open to those who wielded katanas, or Tachis, it would have been interesting to see a Cutlass practicing that path and, currently, he could count the known practitioners on both hands, only because he would need that sixth finger. But there were other practices open to her, ones less stringent on honor and he looked away, considering that. Was her honor tainted because she had joined Ouroboros? If it had been done for noble reasons, and one legitimate, coerced reason. No woman wanted a McBurn in her life. "Crossbow is a ranged weapon." He said finally, offering her some 'Instructor' Rean. "It makes sense to be trained on one, assassination is a thing with Ouroboros."

There was no way she'd ever follow the Eight Leaves One Blade. That wasn't the path she wanted to follow in the first place. The way of the sword was simply honing skills with a sword and putting full devotion, time and effort into it. Everything. There were other paths in the way of the sword she could follow, but she wouldn't. Melyssa believed she was tainted for good now that she was an Enforcer of Ouroboros. Nothing would be able to cleanse her.

"I know. And no, I've never assassinated anyone. They wanted me to with Machias, but I told the Grandmaster no. That was why she made me a spy instead and sent me to live in Crossbell City."

Laying back in the grass finally, Melyssa stared up at the stars like Rean had, her hands as her sides. For once in the past two years, she felt completely relaxed and didn't feel the need to look over her shoulder. Was that Emma's magic? Emma would have told her no it wasn't. It was simply Melyssa finally relaxing and letting her guard down for the first time in two years. That was probably a very magical feeling after being a captive of fear for so long. Her magic helped of course, in terms of keeping them off the grid and protected, but it was for tonight only. Crow had sent word that they would NOT be congregating like the last time. Machias had to continue on as mayor, he and Ash as security and the safest thing for Melyssa to do would be carry on business as usual while they formulated a game plan.

Crow didn't want to be part of a giant bullseye.

Rean didn't say a word. He just took her hand in his and squeezed gently. Her heart began to pound harder and faster, like a beating drum, and it wasn't fear she felt. This was something different, something she couldn't quite comprehend. Melyssa turned her head to look at him the same time he did and their eyes locked, teal mixing with fuchsia. Goddess, what was this feeling? What was this warmth inside of her? Why did she feel it every time she was near Rean? That kiss filtered through her mind, that memory in the clearing, the way his lips felt against hers, the way their sweaty bodies aligned together and the taste of him. It was a taste she had committed to memory. Looking away from him, Melyssa clasped his hand in return and moved to lace their fingers together, once again staring up at the stars.

"I missed you while I was gone, Rean. Not as my Instructor or even my friend…but as something else. You never left my mind and I kept the memories with you I have close. They were the only thing that got me through the isolation and constant darkness. Ash and Crow helped too, but…it was mostly you."

Idly, Rean had to wonder if she knew how Ash felt about her. Rean had been devastated by the events of that night and Ash's devastation had rivaled his. They hadn't been on friendly terms until… well, they still had their own issues they would eventually have to sort out. All of those issues centered around the woman beside him. He rolled so he was on his side, staring down at her, not letting go of her hand.

"I missed you too." He did not miss the dream he had had of her that night though.

Now he wondered if it was a premonition of sorts.

No, she didn't have a clue how Ash felt about her and she didn't want to know. The man she wanted to be with was beside her and Melyssa knew deep down she loved him. She loved Rean Schwarzer. She had fallen in love with her Instructor. Ash was her best friend and he would always be a huge part of her life, along with Crow, but her feelings for Rean went deeper than friendship.

"You did?" He affirmed with a nod and she reached her hand up to caress his face gently, after turning to lay on her side to face him. "Rean, that day in the clearing…I was scared. I was scared of how intense my feelings for you were. I never meant to hurt you or reject you. That is the only thing I regret is how we parted ways that day."

Rean shook his head, catching her hand and held it to his cheek. "It doesn't matter anymore Melyssa, I did understand your reasons. At that exact moment… that was ego and other issues." Like his body informing him that being cock blocked sucked and then he had that terrible, messed up dream that had actually woken him up and had him soaked in sweat. "Once we get you free from them… Then there may be time for us."

"We have time for us right now." Scooting closer to him, her lips were mere inches from his and Rean pressed his forehead to hers, his arm wrapping around her waist. "I don't know what the future holds for us or if we'll even survive what's coming. But I DO know we shouldn't waste the time we have and we should live for the moment. As far as I'm concerned, I AM free of them because I will never go back…"

"You have to. For now, until we come up with a plan." Crow had made a good point that they couldn't just all band together and become one huge target. "You should continue wearing those masks and being Lysa Reynolds until we find a way to stop them for good. That also means being Machias' secretary and that also means pretending you are still on Ouroboros' side." It would all be temporary.

They wanted her to wear those masks still? They wanted her to still be Lysa Reynolds? "But Crow said…" She was more confused than ever and pulled away from Rean to sit up, her brows furrowed. "What was the point of this then? What was the point of Ash bringing me all the way out here and what's the point of you being here if we're just gonna go back to the way things are?" I'm such an idiot! Why did I think this could be solved in the blink of an eye? Nothing is ever that easy or works that way! Then why did Crow berate me the way he did?

"No, Machias knows that sometimes you have to take a stand to do what's right." Crow informed her, his fiery red eyes narrowing. "So, even though you just said you don't want to lie anymore and you want to be YOU again, you're going to keep on lying and being… her?" She made no sense. "The reason… organizations like Ouroboros get stronger, Melyssa," He said quietly, evenly. "Is because there are hundreds of people like you in their ranks, terrified to make a stand. Sometimes you have to throw it all to the wind and risk it."

Narrowing her eyes, Melyssa could feel her temper rising, remembering Crow's words as they penetrated through her. "I won't be me again until this is all over. I'll have to keep lying and being this puppet named Lysa Reynolds until we can stop them." What made her think she was broken free of Ouroboros by simply telling Crow and coming here? "Crow said to throw it all to the wind and risk it. That's what I did…and it means nothing since I have to keep lying anyway." She really hated Crow right now.

"To be fair to Crow, it wasn't his idea. He wanted to just throw everything to the wind and risk it, a full out confrontation." Rean admitted with a frown, knowing it probably didn't make her feel any better. "Machias is the one who said no. He's afraid Ouroboros will put citizens in the crossfire or accelerate whatever plans they have for Crossbell if we come out swinging and you're batting for us."

That did sound more like Machias than Crow, she begrudgingly admitted, only to herself. "I don't blame him, honestly. It's a smart strategy, especially for all the citizens of Crossbell. They've been through enough to last them several lifetimes."

So, until this was completely over, she had to continue being Lysa Reynolds and wearing the masks. She couldn't be herself like she desperately wanted to. And she definitely couldn't be with Rean like she wanted to either.

"I'm on your side, regardless of what that mask shows, Rean. I will never hurt any of you. I should head back tonight, with Ash, to keep this going…" Melyssa didn't want to leave though, already feel the tears building in her eyes and looked away from him.

"Yeah, you probably should."

Why had he come early when they were only saying goodbye again? Rean didn't like this feeling, he didn't like feeling, period. He had done so well, isolating himself off and building those walls because he had known after the last time, he couldn't do it anymore. He couldn't keep caring and over investing himself in people, or her, it had shredded him. Yet here he was, with her, and they were putting the greater good ahead of themselves. Without another thought, he rolled so he was hovering over her, arms braced on either side of her head, his eyes searching Melyssa's intently. A second later, his lips were on hers.

If they were parting ways again, it would be with a promise that this wasn't done between them.

Goddess, was this really happening? Melyssa returned the soft kiss that quickly exploded into something more…something fiery. It'd been two years since she felt his lips on hers and she longed for it, even having dreams about it. Every night she woke up and he wasn't there, a piece of Melyssa's heart would shatter. Now, it was slowly piecing itself back together again because this was real, this wasn't a dream. Her fingers delved in his black hair and the moment his tongue swiped across her lips, she gave him the invitation. The taste of him…it was just like before, like she remembered, maybe even better. Melyssa didn't want to leave him. She didn't want to be away from him ever again. As soon as they had to break the kiss for oxygen, Melyssa kept him right where he was by wrapping her legs around his waist, pinning him against her.

"I…I love you, Rean." If he didn't feel the same way about her, it was all right, but this may have been her only opportunity to say the words. "Not as the Ashen Chevalier, not as my former Instructor, not as the Divine Blade of the Eight Leaves or a friend. I love you for YOU, the man behind all of that." She pressed her lips against his, very softly and tenderly. "And I'll always be waiting for you."

Rean had to discreetly pinch himself because that dream popped into his head. Two years ago and he was still worried he may be having a repeat experience. Melyssa turning into Shirley, a sword at his throat, no thanks. She loved him… and not for his titles, which were useless and he had proven many times that he didn't deserve them, but for him.

"This will be over soon." He whispered against that finger, kissing the side of her mouth when she moved it, and then they'd be able to be together. "I love you, Melyssa Brackett."

He really did. She could see it boiling in his eyes and feel it in the way he held her and kissed her. "We have tonight. I'm not leaving you, not yet." Ash would probably want to stay over as well, just to get away from everything and they could travel back in the early morning. "Let me stay with you tonight, Rean." He nodded, wanting the same thing and she kissed him again, this time harder and deeper, both getting completely lost in each other. "Come to the back with me. I want to be completely alone with you."

There was a small area she had ventured to earlier that day and, unless someone came to hunt them down, nobody would think to go back there. Rean stood up, extending his hand to her and Melyssa took it, pulling him toward the back of the log cabin. Once she was sure it was safe and they were alone, Melyssa released his hand and lifted her shirt up over her head, tossing it to the side. She then stepped up to him and pushed his white jacket from his shoulders, unbuttoning the buttons of his shirt before removing it as well. Softly, tenderly, her lips began gliding across his chest scar, their toned bodies pressed firmly together.

Before, two years ago, Rean had known she was a virgin because she had told him outright her only 'experience' had come from those disastrous moments with Crow. He had to wonder, with how confident she appeared to be, if her virgin status had changed. A gentleman didn't ask, however. He would chalk it up to the fact that she was a more confident woman, her training would have seen to that.

"Melyssa…" It came out a soft hiss as she began kissing up along his collarbone, settling his hands on her hips and pulled her lower half flush against him, letting her feel the erection he was now sporting, thanks to her.

"Rean…" It came out a breathy moan and she looked up at him, feeling his lips softly caress hers. "I've dreamt of doing that to your scar for the past two years." She smiled somewhat sheepishly, her cheeks reddening. "I've always thought your scar was very sexy." Slowly, she gliding her fingertips down it, enjoying the effect she was having on him. Good, she didn't want to be the only one who burned with desire. "I want to try something else, if you don't mind?" Now Melyssa sounded more like a virgin and she lowered to her knees, pushing on his shoulders to make him go with her. "Lay on your back." Once he obeyed, she straddled him and began tracing that scar with her tongue, gliding her nails down his sides.