Zuko

It was only four days to the celebration of our marriage and I was excited to share Sam with the world. Since Chong's removal, our council meetings had gone smoothly. I realized that it was probably at least in part that they didn't want to suffer the same fate as Chong. He had returned to the palace a few days later to plead with me again, but I remained firm. Despite all that he had done, I felt bad for the man. But he guaranteed his own fate. When he left I informed the guards that there will be no more meetings with me, and if he requests them, they are to be denied.

Sam's and my relationship had grown too. We had been only married for three months but we had a connection that felt like years. After leaving for Shin Shu and being separated from her made me realize my true feelings for her. And the separation had done the same for her. I was smitten. I recalled Uncle saying the same thing to me when Sam first had been arrested by the Earth Queen. I smiled at the memory.

I didn't look forward to seeing Kia again although, I had to admit, I did look forward to her seeing Sam as my new Fire Lady. I could only imagine the look on her face.

Sam and I had been sitting on our thrones all day. We had several people request an audience with us, so we decided that we should fulfill those requests. Some of them were border disputes between two property owners where some were more serious issues that required further research and attention.

After we were finished, one of the guards came to us to announce the arrival of Uncle Iroh. I knew he was coming to the celebration but I did not know he was coming early. If I said I was anything less than thrilled would be a lie. I hadn't seen Uncle since Sam and I fled Ba Sing Se and I was eager for him to see how far our relationship had come.

Iroh walked into the throne room. I stood up and descended the stairs running to Uncle to embrace him. It felt so good to see Uncle and to hug him. He was such an important person in my life and I loved seeing him. Sam had also descended the stairs but stayed back, giving us a respectful amount of room. I looked back and held out my hand to invite her over which she accepted with a smile.

She walked over to Iroh and wholeheartedly embraced him. "Iroh, thank you so much for everything you did for me. It means the world to me. It is so good to see you again."

"And it is good to see you to, Fire Lady Samyah. You look like you are fitting into this role quite nicely."

"Please, Iroh, you're family. Call me Sam. And yes, I have been happy since coming to the Fire Nation."

Iroh looked at us. Sam and I were standing close together and my arm was around her shoulders. She also had her arm around my waist. Iroh smiled at our closeness, "I see you two are quite comfortable with each other." Sam and I looked at each other and smiled. Iroh was good at reading people. "Well, you will have to tell me all that's happened since you became Fire Lady!" Iroh said to Sam, "I want to hear everything!" I was glad that Iroh and Sam seemed to have a bond already forming. I was sure it had to do with the risk he took to help save her. She didn't know it but Iroh thought very highly of her from the moment he met her.

The three of us convened and decided to go to the dining hall for lunch. We unwound our arms and settled for holding hands as we walked to the hall. We ate our meal and sat chatting about everything that had happened and Iroh filled us in on his tea shop. He also quickly reassured us that he had no trouble after we left Ba Sing Se.

One of the servants brought us a fresh pot of tea. The three of us drank it and continued our conversation. Suddenly, I saw a look of terror on Sam's face, her eyes looking past us. "Zuko, Iroh, behind you!" She shouted. Before we could react, bolas were wrapped around me and Iroh and we fell hard to the ground.

I looked where the bolas had come from and two men were rushing Sam and another one from behind her. Another bola was thrown at Sam. I thought I saw the bolas fly the opposite direction. That was impossible. Sam didn't airbend. She wasn't a bender at all. I wanted to run to her to protect her, but I couldn't move. And my hands were bound beside me so I couldn't firebend. Three against her, there was no way she could fight them off.

Then, I wasn't quite sure I actually saw what I thought I did. One of the men ran towards her with a knife drawn and she drew the tea, formed spikes and stabbed the man through the chest. He fell to the ground, dead. I didn't just see what I thought I did. I couldn't. Did I? Did Sam just…airbend AND waterbend? Before I could consider anymore, I saw a foot come down hard on my face. I didn't remember anything after that.

Sam

I saw the man kick Zuko in the face, rendering him unconscious. I was angry. I also was painfully aware that my secret, the one I had kept this whole time, was now out. I could bend. Not just bend, but all four elements. Two of the men started to rush towards me. "Guards!" I screamed at the top of my lungs. They all came running in and quickly subdued the men. One of the guards untied Iroh who rushed to Zuko's side and removed the bola. He kept looking at me, sideways, but he kept his attention on his nephew.

After the men were subdued, I came rushing to Zuko's side as well. Iroh glanced at me and I thought I saw distrust in his eyes. I tried to ignore it and focused on Zuko. A bootprint was starting to appear on the burned side of Zuko's face. I was slapping his face trying to bring him back to wakefulness. His eyes started to flutter and I breathed a sigh of relief, "Oh, thank, God, you're ok! I was so worried!" I, without thinking, threw my arms around him. He reciprocated it. At that moment, I wasn't sure if he remembered what I'd done. If he didn't, Iroh did. And Iroh would, no doubt, fill Zuko in if he didn't remember.

After just a second, realization tensed his muscles and Zuko shoved me away, making me lose my balance and fall backwards. That stung. My heart sank down into my stomach and I looked down and away from him. I was ashamed. What is he thinking? I'm some kind of monster? Only the avatar can bend all four elements and here I am. I had kept this secret from him for so long, I wouldn't blame him if he didn't forgive me. My heart clenched at the thought.

I reached out to help Zuko stand but he didn't acknowledge my hand. He did, however, stand with the help of Iroh. He wouldn't look at me. Iroh stole a glance at me again. His expression changed from distrust to sympathy. I didn't realize it until that moment that I was crying. He looked at me and then up at Zuko whose expression was hard and I saw hints of pain and anger around the edges.

"Zuko, don't try to walk. I sent for the physician."

"I'm fine, Uncle. I can walk."

"Still, I think it best you get looked at."

I remained silent through the exchange. I stood up next to Zuko but didn't dare touch him. I didn't think I could bare his rejection again. Iroh helped him sit down at the dining table. Fen came and looked at Zuko declaring he had no serious injury. That was a relief.

Iroh looked at Zuko and then at me. I could see the curiosity in his eyes but he refrained from asking. He looked back at Zuko and said, "I will give you two some time alone to…work some things out." Iroh had paused to decide how he would say what he wanted to. Zuko's brow was furrowed but he said nothing. Iroh stood and walked out of the room. I sat down next to Zuko in silence. Finally, I decided to chance words.

"Zuko, I'm so-"

"Stop." Zuko said, his word short. I wasn't sure if he stopped me because he didn't think I needed to apologize or because he was too angry to hear my voice. I stopped talking and remained silent, waiting for Zuko to regain his faculties. "What in the name of Agni was that, Sam? Did I see you airbend? Then waterbend?" I nodded with downcast eyes. "How? No one can control more than one element except for the avatar. Not to mention you've kept this from me for so long. Why didn't you tell me? Why didn't you trust me?" His voice raised with the last question and I cowered. I'd never been on the receiving end of Zuko's anger but I thought today would be the day that changed. I wasn't sure if he was doing it intentionally or even if he knew he was doing it at all. He looked at me, his brow furrowed, "Explain yourself!" he demanded.

I could hear the hurt feelings in his voice and I thought might be mixed with anger. I would have rather him have been angry with me than hurt by me. I didn't know how to tell him what I needed to.

"I do trust you, Zuko. With everything I have."

"Then why didn't you tell me?" I thought his words sounded hurt but I could still hear a hint of anger in them. I stole a look at him and his hands were in fists and his jaw clenched. He WAS angry. Though his eyes were sad.

"Because…because…" I couldn't get the words out. I just broke down again. I was really trying to keep it together but I couldn't help it. I started to cry uncontrollably. I'm sure I looked totally insane being a blubbering mess. I didn't dare look up at Zuko. He didn't touch me. He didn't reach for me. He didn't try to console me like he normally would. He did nothing. He didn't speak. He just sat waiting, squeezing the bridge of his nose with his fingers.

"Please." I pleaded. It as all I could say. I dared to reach out and touch his hand. He deliberated for a second and then retracted it leaving my heart aching once more.

"No, Samyah. Tell me." he said sternly. That was the first time he addressed me by my full name since we met. He was cold. He'd never been cold to me. I couldn't believe I was so stupid. I was so happy with Zuko and I just ruined everything. Finally, I mustered up the courage and told spoke.

"You have to understand," I said, barely above a whisper, "where I come from, people don't bend elements. It isn't common. I know only one other person where I come from that can bend elements and he is…not so nice." I chose my words carefully. Zuko concentrated a bit too hard on the floor. He didn't say a word. He just listened, his brow furrowed and his expression hard. "I…I didn't tell you the whole story that happened with my parents." I admitted.

"I know." Was all Zuko said. Of course he knew. He was good at reading people. But I had to tell him everything now. And I was terrified to do so.

I took a deep breath and just spoke, "When I was 14, Jakar would be coming for a visit the next day and I was getting nervous. I feared him. There was an oasis a couple of miles from the palace and sometimes I would go there to clear my head. So I decided to go and do just that."

I paused and stole another look at Zuko. His expression was still hard, his face unmoving. His eyes focused straight ahead of him on something distant. What that something was, I did not know. If he saw me look at him, he didn't react. I continued, "There was a small pool and I laid on the beach, soaking up the sun. It was peaceful and before long I fell asleep. I didn't know how long I was out until I realized the sun was starting to black out. I opened my eyes to see an eclipse was starting. I shielded my eyes quickly, knowing it was dangerous to look directly at it. I laid down on the sand and closed my eyes. I curled up into a ball, patiently waiting for it to be over. Then I started to feel really strange. Every cell in my body started to hurt - like it was on fire. I wasn't sure what was happening but the wind really picked up too - just out of nowhere blowing the sand everywhere around me. Then a flash of light came from the eclipse and hit me, knocking the wind out of me. The pain I was feeling amplified and I found it hard to breath. I had no idea what it was but when the pain subsided, my whole body started to tingle. I couldn't move. I was terrified and didn't know what to do. I just laid there, waiting for the sensation to pass. Once it did, I noticed that the eclipse was over and the sun was almost set. I awoke some time later and realized I must have passed out, but didn't know when or for how long. I got back up on my horse - A steed," I added when I realized he didn't know what a horse was, "and headed back to the palace. It was then that my parents were furious that I had disappeared for so long.

"The next day, Jakar did arrive and that night, of course, he came to me. I felt different though and I didn't know why but I guessed it had to do with the eclipse. Jakar came to me and he started to…" I paused not wanting to say the word, "Anyway, I closed my eyes trying to transport myself to a happy place when he started screaming. I opened my eyes and his hands, his legs, his…" I didn't say the word but gestured to below Zuko's midsection. "Everything in contact with me was on fire. I had no idea what happened. All I knew is I had done it somehow. My parents never questioned him why he was in my chambers. Three male witnesses remember? The next day, they were furious with me for almost killing the prince. That is when…and why…they banished me. Before I left, I told them what happened, trying to plead for mercy. That's when they told me I had asked for it and led him on."

I finished my tale and looked at Zuko again. His eyes were now closed and his expression unreadable. He didn't say a word. Just sat there. I reached both hands out and placed them on his arm, pleading but this time he didn't pull it away

"Please, Zuko, say something. Anything." I begged, terrified of his reaction to what I had just told him.

"Why didn't you tell me?" He repeated his question from earlier.

"Because…Because whenever anyone would find out what I could do, they would reject me. It wasn't just my parents. Anyone I came into contact with after that would turn their backs on me when they found out. They saw me as a freak. A pariah. Then I started hearing buzz about the Bending Nations. I had never paid attention to them before but then someone said about people from there could bend the elements to their will. When I heard this, I new I had to find a way in to the Bending Nations. Then, when I did, I went to Ba Sing Se." A tear escaped my eye, "I just…I really liked you and…I didn't want to lose you like I did everyone else in my life. And then we got married and the more time that passed, the harder it was to tell you. I know it was selfish. I know it was stupid. I know it was wrong. I know I should have trusted you. But…I was scared. I don't blame you if you decide you want to…" I trailed off fighting for the words to come out, "sever our arrangement" I heard my voice catch on that last word, "I'll understand. I just hope that…one day…you find it in your heart to forgive me."

I stood up to walk out when he grabbed me by the hand and repeated his earlier words, "You should have told me."

"I know," was all I said. What else could I say? He was right and I knew it. "I'll understand if you hate me." I said in a small voice. So small I wasn't sure if he heard me until he spoke.

"I don't hate you."

I looked at him a bit surprised. "You don't?"

"No, Sam. I'm hurt that you didn't tell me and I don't understand what you told me, but I don't hate you."

I reached out and placed my hand on his again. "For the record, I would rather you hate me than be hurt." I echoed my thought from earlier. Zuko looked at me, sadness in his eyes. I really had hurt him.

"I need..." he paused, deciding how he wanted to say what he needed to, "I need…some space."

My heart clenched again and sadness filled me again. I nodded solemnly. Zuko pulled his hand free, stood up and walked out.

What have I done? I thought to myself as I saw him disappear through the doorway.