Zuko

I walked out of the door and I could feel her eyes boring into my back. I needed time to think. I had no idea what to think about this but needed to process. I walked out to the turtleduck garden, as Sam called it, and sat watching the critters swim around peacefully in the water.

Was she an avatar? A second avatar? Maybe there was an avatar for the bending nations and an avatar for the non-bending? No, she said bending wasn't common there. Maybe she wasn't an avatar at all. Maybe she was something different. We've had eclipses since then and I never saw anything like she described. Could something else have happened? Maybe a solar flair during the eclipse? I know firebending gets unpredictable during a solar flair. Maybe that had something to do with it?

Did I believe what she told me? I wasn't sure but I thought I did. I didn't see any reason in lying to me at this point. Besides, I did trust her. Even if she didn't trust me.

My heart clenched at the thought of that. We had grown so close in the last few months, I thought nothing would come between us. Then this happens. Why didn't she just tell me before?

She had said that people would leave her when she told them. Did she think I would do that to her? She had to know I wouldn't. I stuck by her being an outsider. But then again, this was a bit different. This just shook my whole world and everything I thought I understood about it.

"Do you mind if I join you?" I didn't have to look up to know it was Uncle Iroh. I gave him a quick nod. I wasn't sure if I trusted my own voice yet.

"Tell me what is troubling you, my nephew."

Despite myself, I responded a bit louder and sharper than I had intended, "What do you think is troubling me, Uncle?" He didn't look offended. He never did. He was always patient when it came to my temper. I admired him for that. I sighed and tried again, "I…don't know."

"Do you want to talk about it?"

I didn't answer right away but finally gave in. Uncle always knew what to say. I filled him in on what Sam had told me. "I love her. And I thought she loved me." There. I said it. It sounded even more irrational now that it was out of my mouth.

"Do you think she doesn't?"

"No. Yes. I don't know." I finally admitted, "if she did, why didn't she trust me?"

"Nephew, sometimes when we do things, it doesn't always seem rational. I don't think she didn't tell you because she doesn't love you. I think she didn't tell you because she DOES love you." Uncle always managed to lose me when he started talking.

"What do you mean?"

"Nephew, what she was carrying was a big secret, right?" I nodded. "and she was afraid to tell you, is that correct?"

"Yes."

"I think that she didn't tell you because she was afraid she would lose you." she had mentioned that during her explanation. I said as much. "The world had taught her that she can't reveal this part of her to anyone so she kept it hidden. She wasn't trying to deceive you, nephew. She was holding on too tight. She is terrified of losing you. The one person who has been there for her through thick and thin. You were the first person in the Bending Nations to show her kindness. You were the first person in a very long time, years, to show her kindness." Uncle paused for a moment and then asked, "do you still love her?"

"With everything in me." I said without missing a beat. He didn't seem surprised.

"Then go and talk to her. She is probably afraid she will lose you and the life she has now."

"I will, Uncle. I just…need a bit more time." I said. I wasn't angry. I just…needed to process.

"I understand, nephew. Take all the time you need. Just…don't wait too long." Uncle said as he got up and left leaving me with my thoughts.

I wasn't sure what time it was but I knew it was very late. It had been dark for hours. I decided it was time to go find Sam. I knew she was scared. I needed to quell that.

I looked for her in our room but I she wasn't there. I checked all of the places that I could think of and I couldn't find her. Finally, I asked one of the guards. "She is in there," he pointed to an unoccupied bedroom adjacent to ours. Why was she in there? Giving me space, I surmised.

I slowly opened the door and saw her laying in the bed. I walked over to her. Her face was tear stained. She'd cried herself to sleep all alone. I felt my heart ache at the thought. I didn't want to wake her. I sat down next to the bed and waited for her to rouse.

It wasn't too long, maybe a couple of hours, when she started to stir. I watched her quietly. I didn't want to startle her. Her back was facing me. She rolled over onto her back and stared at the ceiling. She hadn't noticed me yet. She rubbed her face with her hand and let out a shaky sigh. She rolled onto her side now facing me, curled up into a ball and she opened her eyes, finally seeing me. She jumped and sat up quickly.

"Zuko," she said in a small voice, "What- What are you doing here?"

"I need to talk to you." I said. Her eyes lit up but then quickly banished it. Doesn't want to get her hopes up I thought. I got up and walked over to the bed facing her. I gestured to the bed, "May I?" I asked indicating to the side of the bed. She nodded giving me some room.

I sat down on the edge of the bed. I had one foot planted on the floor and laid my other leg down on the bed so I could face her.

She spoke softly, "are you still angry with me?"

I reached out my hand for hers. She placed hers in mine. I felt my voice catch in my throat, "no, I'm not angry. I'm not hurt either. I understand why you did what you did." This surprised her.

"You're not? I don't…I mean…you don't hate me?"

I chuckled despite the seriousness of the discussion, "No, Sam. I don't hate you. I never could hate you." I admitted.

She gave me a small smile but it did not reach her eyes. "I'm sorry I kept the secret from you." I reached up with my other hand, placed it behind her head and brought her down to my face to kiss her forehead.

"Apology accepted." I said simply against her forehead. She pulled back and smiled at me. I felt relief when I saw that this time, it did reach her eyes. "So…you can firebend?" I asked. I couldn't help the curiosity in myself.

"Yes." she demonstrated a very small fireball in her hand. "though I'm not nearly as good at it as you are." That remains to be seen I thought. Based on what I already saw, she was quite good albeit a little unorthodox.

I reached my free hand back to her face and cupped her cheek. She leaned into my touch with a small but sad smile. I leaned in to kiss her lips. She reciprocated in kind. I released her hand and brought it to her back, pulling her close to me. I moved my leg and she slid her body to rest between my knees planting one foot on the ground to join mine. I removed my hand from her face and wrapped both arms around her body, pressing her tight against me. She wrapped her arms around my neck pulling herself closer to me. We wanted each other badly. We quickly removed each other's clothes and we continued these familiar motions until she was finally bent over the bed and I was inside her. We made love. But it was rough. It was desperate. It was visceral.

We finally found ourselves laying on the bed in our favorite position. She was stroking my chest, tracing my veins. I stroked her free arm with my trapped arm's hand. We laid together for a while, just being with each other.

I could tell she was preoccupied and I felt wet tears soak my skin.

"Sam? What is it?" Her stroking slowed but did not stop.

"I don't want to…no…I can't ever hurt you like that again. I will never forgive myself for hurting you today," she said sadly. I reached my free hand over to her face, tilting her head to look at me. Her eyes were closed, tears seeping out. I hated to see her like this.

"Sam." I said. I waited for her to open her eyes. When she did, she saw that the only expression I wore on my face was love and forgiveness, "beating yourself up for something that is over is a waste of your energy. I have forgiven you. Now you must do the same." She smiled a small, weak smile at me but she nodded. I could tell there was something else on her mind, though. Finally she spoke.

"What…" she asked and her voice trailed off.

"What?…" I echoed. She seemed to be nervous to ask the question.

"Do you…think I should tell Aang? What will he think? Or your other friends? I don't want to make enemies with your friends before I get to even meet them. But I'm sure that Aang may feel threatened by my very existence."

"I don't know what he or the others will think but, yes, I think you should tell them. To be honest, I don't even know what I think," I admitted, "but Aang is one of my best friends and I doubt he will find you threatening." I mused. She giggled a bit.

"Thank you, Zuko. For being you. I thought for sure I had lost you."

"It will take a lot more work on your part to get rid of me," I chuckled. "I do have one question though."

"Yes? What is is?"

"Do you have ANY more secrets I should know about?"

I heard her laugh and finally reply, "No. Not that I know of."

We fell asleep. The previous day had been extremely hard on both of us and we both needed rest. We rested in each other's arms and slept.

When we both were awake, I told my councilmen that they had the day off. I needed to spend it with my wife. I had so much to learn but there was something I really wanted to do and I was hope she would agree to it. I said this to her and she rose one eyebrow in suspicion. "What is that?"

"Spar with me?"