Sam

It had been three months since Zuko revised Azula and the girls' sentences. I have also moved ahead with my plan to work with them. The girls were responding very positively to my treatment and our talks. Although their treatment had a long way to go, they were making excellent progress.

Azula, however, was another matter. She would not open up to me at all. We would meet three times a week for an hour but she would sit silently. I would try to talk to her or try to get her to talk to me but she remained silent. She couldn't get passed the fact that I am an outsider.

I knew what would help me help her, but I also knew Zuko would never go for it. I had been wanting this for a long time actually, but Azula gave me a good excuse to ask him. But still, when Zuko and I both came into our bedroom, I decided it was time to approach the topic. Zuko walked out of the bathing room, his hair still wet. He bathed in the mornings but he was freshening up to go to bed. I had already bathed for the evening so I was sitting on the bed waiting for him. He saw me and smiled, coming over and climbing in.

It's now or never, Sam, I said to myself.

"Zuko. I…have… I need a favor." I said nervously. Zuko picked up on my nerves and looked at me skeptically.

"Of course. What is it?"

"I…you're not going to like it." I didn't know how to say what I wanted to say even though I had rehearsed it several times while he was bathing.

Zuko took in a breath and let it out slowly, "We will see about that. What do you need, my love?"

"Well, you know how I am trying to work with Azula?"

"Yes."

"And how she is resistant to my help."

"Yes?"

"Well, I think I know what might help me help her."

"Just say it, Sam."

"I need to meet Ozai."

"What?!" Zuko said louder than I thought he intended to.

"I need to meet him. Then I can have a better understanding of what Azula went through."

"I've told you all you need to know." Zuko said in his "end of discussion" tone which I had grown to really dislike. I also had learned to ignore it. Much to his annoyance.

"No, Zuko. It isn't the same. I need to actually meet him."

"It's not a good idea, Sam. He is dangerous."

"Sure, I know that. But he will be in his cell. He can't touch me."

"No, but he can hurt you with his words. You don't know him like I do, Sam."

"Come on, Zuko. You are just making excuses. You know I have a thick skin."

"The answer is no. Drop it." Zuko said in that stupid tone again. I rolled my eyes..

"Fine." I said. I laid down in bed and turned my back to him. I was annoyed. I couldn't see his face but I could hear him just fine when he spoke.

"Sam, it's for your own good. You don't know my father." he sounded like he was leaning close to my ear.

"Fine." I repeated.

"He is an awful man. I don't want him anywhere near you."

"I said, 'fine,' Zuko. Drop it." I thought I was starting to adopt his "end of discussion" tone, too.

He put his hand on my shoulder. I didn't pull away, but I didn't move either. I felt his hand leave my shoulder and then him shift his weight in the bed. Good. Stay on your side, your ashey-ness I thought.

It had been a few days since we had our discussion. Well, lack thereof really. Zuko was going to be in military meetings all day. Much like sentencing, this was something that stayed solely with him. I sat in our office, going over scrolls that we had been putting off when I had a realization. Zuko was in meetings all day. I could go to the prison and be back before he was done. He would never know.

I laid the scroll down on my desk so I wouldn't lose my place and got up, heading to the main doors of the palace.

A couple of the guards, Hirshu and Geshna, saw me. Hirshu asked, "My lady. Where are you going?" I knew it was largely frowned upon for the Fire Lady to leave the palace without her husband, the Fire Lord, in her company but that wouldn't stop me. I had to come up with something on the spot.

"I just need to get out of the palace for a bit. Zuko is in meetings all day and I'm just a bit bored. Don't worry about me. I'll be fine." They looked at each other and then at me and I could tell they didn't believe a word of it. I sighed in defeat, "I'm going to see Ozai." Their eyes widened. It was Hirshu who spoke.

"At least, let me come with you." I knew they weren't going to let me leave without an escort, Fire Lady or no Fire Lady, so I reluctantly agreed. They also knew that they couldn't really stop me either. I looked back at the other guard, Geshna, and said "Geshna, please do not tell my husband. I don't want him to worry." She didn't like it but she bowed respectfully.

When we arrived at the Capital City Prison, one of the prison guards stopped us. I revealed to him who I was.

"My Lady!" he said bowing. "What brings you here?"

"I am here to see Ozai. Take me to him." the guard looked dubious. He looked at Hirshu who shrugged.

"Does his majesty know you-"

"No, and we are going to keep it that way." I said, cutting him off, "now, lead the way."

He bowed to me and turned to lead me to my goal. He opened the door to his cell and I walked in.

"Wait out here, Hirshu."

"I don't think that's a good idea, my lady," he said, clearly concerned about my safety. I was really starting to get annoyed at all of the protection.

"I'll be fine! He's behind bars. Stay out here. That's an order." I said to which he reluctantly obeyed.

I turned to face Ozai. He was sitting at the back of his cell. It was small. Very small. I wasn't sure if he could even stretch out completely. Maybe catty-cornered? I thought. There was a blanket and some hay on the ground for a bed. I could smell it from over here. It smelled foul. I wondered how many bugs lived in it. Ozai sat curled up on the bed of hay and didn't seem to be paying attention. The guard who brought me in banged what looked like a nightstick on the cell door, startling Ozai and breaking him out of his trance. His eyes wondered around until they finally found me and he grinned.

"Well, look who it is. The Fire Lady herself has graced me with her presence." Ozai said.

"Nice to meet you too." I said dry and sarcastic. He stood up and walked over to the bars. I stepped back a little, intimidated.

Now I could get a really good look at him. He was tall. As tall as Zuko. He was wearing what looked like a long shirt that hung off of him. His hair was long and severely matted. His beard was long and grown in, obviously not being maintained. It had what looked to be dried food stuck in it. I also saw what looked like an insect crawling through the unkempt hair. It was then I noticed the bites all over his arms and legs. Bedbugs. I couldn't help but feel sorry for him. He finally spoke.

"So, Zuko's new 'wife' has decided to grace me with her presence in my lowly prison cell. I should be honored." his voice was smooth. Cool. Chilling. "What a pleasant surprise. How do you like the Fire Nation?"

I was surprised at his conversational tone. "It is a lovely country."

"And how is my son treating you?"

"Wonderfully. He is a good husband."

"You know, that really is a shame. You deserve so much worse, outsider." Of course he had heard about it. Who hadn't? Suddenly I no longer felt bad for him.

"Perhaps I do." I admitted.

"I also hear that you think you're the avatar. You know, my daughter almost killed him. Did kill him actually if it hadn't been for that water tribe peasant girl. She is a true firebending prodigy." Ozai said proudly.

"Yes, I have seen her skill." I couldn't deny it.

"Do you know what I would do to outsiders who came into the Fire Nation?" Ozai asked me, with an evil grin. I didn't respond. He continued. "I would make sure they would suffer and never see the light of day. I would keep them alive. But barely. I would allow my guards to do with them as they pleased. Because that is all any of you are good for. A play thing for my men."

I stared at him, in disbelief. I couldn't believe he was so cruel. Zuko had told me but seeing it first hand was something entirely different.

"Yes, I hear you like to mistreat people. Like burning half of your young son's face because he wouldn't fight you? What kind of person does that?!" I shouted, though I hadn't meant to.

"Haha!" he laughed, "Zuko is a coward. A good for nothing coward. As far as I'm concerned, I only have one child. He proved to be weak when he wouldn't fight for his honor. Then he sealed it when he married a worthless, disgusting outsider vagrant. Zuko doesn't hold a candle to my daughter. I wish he'd never been born."

"How dare you speak of your Fire Lord this way! He is a good, kind man who loves his people! He has ushered in an era of peace no thanks to you!"

"Goodness and kindness are for the weak! Strong and fearful is what makes a truly strong leader! Zuko is a spineless fool."

I was angry. I stepped forward in defense of Zuko and grabbed his shirt with my hand ready to shout at him and blast him with some airbending. He was ready though. He wrapped his hand around my neck before I could do anything. I fought against him hard, trying to get in any air. I felt my feet leave the ground and my head started to go light. He was stronger than he looked. I tried bending - anything - but I was losing consciousness fast and unable to do anything. I realized too late that he had been baiting me. This is exactly what he wanted. To kill me. And he would. I was completely defenseless and starting to see stars.

Suddenly, his hand was gone and the blood rushed to my brain and I almost fainted. I fell to the floor gasping for air, sputtering and spinning. I looked up to see what happened and I saw Zuko, angry as ever. He grabbed Ozai by the face and shoved him hard against the back wall. Ozai hit the back of his cell and collapsed, the air clearly knocked out of him.

His eyes were trained right on Ozai, "you will never lay a hand on my wife again, do you hear me?!" Ozai grinned and stood back up, leaning against the back wall.

I couldn't believe I had played right into his hands. Zuko was right. He was dangerous, even behind the bars.

Zuko then turned on the Hirshu and the prison guard, "and where were you when this happened? You should have stopped him! You were nowhere to be found when I got here! You shouldn't have even let her in to see him!" Zuko raged.

"Zuko, calm down." I croaked. Zuko turned to face me, concern blanketing his face.

"Sam, are you alright?" He bent down.

"Yes, I am. Thanks to you."

He took my chin in his hand, twisting my head so he could examine my neck. "You will have bruising."

"I'll be ok" I said giving him a small, sorrowful smile, taking his hand on my chin into mine.

"Good." Zuko said simply and took his hand out of mine. He took old of my arm and lifted me to my feet. He didn't let go as we walked out of the prison and into the fresh air. It was then that I saw Geshna and a man that I didn't recognize were there too. And the wretched rhinos again. Zuko helped me up onto the rhino and then he climbed on behind me. He urged the beast forward and we headed back to the palace. I wanted to say something to him but I didn't dare speak. He was silent. I could feel the anger rolling off of him. I was not looking forward to getting back to the palace. I knew we would have a fight. And I knew it was my fault. I, am an idiot.

By the time we arrived back at the palace it was starting to get dark. We rode back into the stable. Zuko dismounted them helped me down. He then took hold of my arm again and he walked me into the palace. I didn't dare look at him. I knew he was angry. Once we arrived in our room, he released my arm and closed the door. He turned around to face me and I could see the rage still covering his face, this time aimed at me. I decided to try to get into his good graces.

"Zuko. Thank you for-" he held up his hand, stopping my words. He kept his eyes closed, his jaw clenched and breathing heavy. He was trying to stay calm. My eyes slid to the floor. "Zuko, I'm sorry." Finally he spoke.

"You're sorry? Sorry for what? For purposely sneaking out to the prison when you knew I was preoccupied with something important, involving the palace guards in your deception, foolishly going to Ozai after being warned or for disrespecting my wishes as your husband?" I flinched. He really WAS angry. And I knew I deserved it. I couldn't bring myself to look at his eyes. I couldn't stand to see the betrayal and hurt that they almost certainly held.

"You're right, Zuko. I'm sorry. I-I should have listened." Keeping my eyes on the floor.

"You're damn right you should have! Of all the stupid things for you to do, Sam, this was the worst!" I felt like I was being scolded like a child. "How could you do such a thing?!"

Suddenly I felt backed into a corner and the only thing I could do was come out swinging. I finally looked up at him, making eye contact. "How could I?! How could YOU!? You should have brought me there yourself. But no, you want to 'protect me.' Is that really it? Or do you just not want me to see what kind of man raised you?!" After the words were out, I realized they didn't come out as I meant them. I backpedaled a bit. "I'm sorry, I didn't m-"

"Oh, so it's my fault?!" he shouted back. He was jabbing his finger at me, "No, Sam. You took the first opportunity you could get to stab me in the back!" I flinched again. Stabbed in the back? Damn, he was right. I had stabbed him in the back. I had. But so had he I justified. Stubbornly, obstinately, I shot back.

"You wouldn't listen to me, Zuko! You just shut me down! Did it ever occur to you that I needed to meet him, not just for Azula, but for myself too? You wouldn't even hear me! You just shut me down like you always do! You don't ever listen to me, Zuko! Don't you trust me?" His eyebrows furrowed as he glowered at me.

"Sam! Of course I trust you! But he could have hurt you! He almost did! I told you that he is a master manipulator and you played right into his hands!"

"But he didn't hurt me now did he?"

"No, he didn't! That was because I showed up!"

"Oh, my hero!" I said, sarcastically. Zuko's eyes widened. He gritted his teeth and his brow knit together. His fists clenched, he closed his eyes again, trying to calm himself down. He sat down on the foot of the bed. He finally calmed down and when he spoke his voice was rough but quiet.

"Do you have any idea what you put me through? I'm sitting in an important meeting with my military officials when Geshna comes bursting into the room, panicked. When I ask her what was wrong she tells me that you left with Hirshu to see Ozai? I have to end the meeting early. I take Geshna and one of the military officials who volunteered to join me and we rush down to the prison, worried something happened to you. When I walk into the room, I see my father's hand around your neck, you lifted off the floor, completely defenseless and the life draining out of you? Do you have any idea what that felt like for me?" By the time Zuko was done, his facial expression was distant, reliving what he had seen just a few moments before. Until now, I hadn't stopped to think about what I put him through. Suddenly, I felt incredibly guilty and felt remorseful for what I had done.

I sat down on the bed next to him and placed my hand on his. He didn't pull away, but I could feel the tension. I left my hand on his and spoke.

"Zuko. I was so focused on what I wanted that I never once stopped to think about how you would feel. I was selfish. And stupid. And I did stab you in the back. I was deceptive. I-I'm sorry, Zuko."

Zuko didn't respond. He stayed, unmoving. His eyes still closed. His face was hard. I sat silent, waiting for him to say something. I couldn't stand it, I needed to be closer to him. I slid towards him but he got up and walked over to the window, leaning on the sill supported by his elbows and looking out at the night sky. He had never acted this way before. I really HAD hurt him. I didn't know what I could do to make him feel better. Do I stay here? Do I go to him? I wasn't sure.

I decided I couldn't take the distance anymore. I walked over to him and wrapped my arms around his middle, hugging myself to him. I laid my cheek on his back. Only then did I realize how sweaty he was. From the stress, no doubt I thought guiltily. It wasn't until then that I could feel him trembling.

"Zuk-"

"It's getting late. We should eat." He said. He didn't say anything else. He just stood from the sill and gently pulled my arms off of him. He stepped out of my embrace and walked out, leaving me alone in the room. I wrapped my arms around my torso, a tear escaping my eye. I didn't know what to do to make it better. I sat down and pulled my knees to my chest, hugging them to me. I didn't get up to go do dinner. I stayed by that window. I stayed and cried.