Christmas Christmas Christmas Christmas Christmas Christmas

by Pre-Animation Man

"Will you come visit?" "Of course I will." "Next Christmas. Will you come visit? You promise 'Kashi?"

He was never big into holidays. His family was a small one: his grandparents had passed away before he was born, and his parents were both only childs. So it was just the three of them. He had some second cousins who lived all the way down to the south of the country, but they had almost no contact with them.

So, usually, the holidays meant a quiet dinner with his parents, albeit the food and clothes slightly more fancy, his favorite sweater, the soba they only had for new year's eve, and then a visit to the shrine the next day.

That was probably why, he told himself, he felt so strange sitting with his teammates at Dan's house, eating fried chicken. Apparently, they had ordered it weeks in advance. Yuya had never even done anything in particular for Christmas.

He had been so confused when Zuzu invited him to come, even if it wasn't his event, and no other first years were invited. But Zuzu had insisted, and Dan had been very polite when he said that he would like for him to come too, just don't talk about it with anyone else, or there wouldn't be enough chicken.

It was a big party, another thing Yuya had never been to. It had been organized by Dan's older brother who was in college, with the permission of their parents, who had their own work party to go to. The house was packed, half the people Yuya didn't know at all, them being college classmates from the older brother.

In preparation for the event, and because his parents had gawked at the idea of him arriving empty handed, Yuya had brought a small basket of fruit his mother had helped him make, having decided that the pre-packaged ones were too expensive and not even worth the money.

He had helped Dan cut up the fruits and make a platter, as they waited for the chicken to be delivered. Yuya wasn't sure if he had thought it weird, since clearly no one else had brought anything, but his teammates were really enthusiastic about the fruits, which put him a bit more at ease.

Still, he was feeling very stiff in his dark green sweater, the only item that looked remotely festive from his wardrobe. He wanted to loosen up, like people always told him to, but everything around him was too new. He had never been in this house. Nor talked for longer than a couple minutes with most of these people. In fact, he had never seen them in anything other than the school uniform or their jerseys.

As his teammates chatted with each other, Yuya was staring at the door, wondering if this was the original disposition of the house or if they had added that wall later on. He wondered if maybe he could discretely knock on it to see if it was hollow.

The older guys were on the other side of the living room, drinking beer, and being really loud already. Yuya was trying to ignore the noise when the chicken arrived and he had something else to worry himself with. That was, trying to eat with his hands without ruining his clothes.

"Kaashi, are you bored?! You've barely spoken!" Zuzu asked him, going to sit next to him, a drumstick in his hand.

"Not at all Zuzu. I just have nothing to say." he explained, truthfully. He saw these people every day. He had nothing new to tell.

Zuzu looked at him like that was a possibility he had never thought of, or experienced.

"Aaaaahhh, well, I'm really glad you came! Thank you!" Zuzu said, smiling big, and Yuya felt something flutter in his stomach.

"That isn't your line to say Zuzu" Yuya answered, ignoring the funny feeling.

"Aaaah, I know I know, Dan scolded me about that enough already" he said, pouting and deflating a bit.

"But I'm also glad I came. I had never had chicken from this place before." He fruitlessly tried to clean the grease from his hands with a much too dirty napkin before grabbing another piece of chicken, and taking a bite.

Zuzu opened his eyes even wider than Yuya had thought he'd do.

"You've never had KFC before? KAAAASHIIII. You need to go! I'll go with you! You have to try the rice bowls!"

And that was the start of a long conversation about the best things to eat at KFC and other fast food chain places, which Yuya had never been to, and where Zuzu assured him he'd take him. Yuya was perfectly able to do these things on his own, he thought, if he had any interest in them. But he couldn't refuse Zuzu's eagerness, nor his kindness.

He never minded being quiet, nor alone, but he found that the evening went by much faster, as he listened to Zuzu rant about his favorite meals, and how much Yuya would surely like them, because they were delicious and super good, and an athlete has to eat certain amounts of calories a day, and how much do you eat 'Kaashi? Oh, no, you have to eat more than that, so you can get strong. You're already so good can you imagine when you get better? The spikes I'll be able to make with your tosses? We'll be the best team in all of Japan you'll see.

When the night came to an end, he was surprised to realize he did not want to go home, even if he was tired and sleepy, and rather full. He also did not need Zuzu to walk him home, but still he dared not decline his offer. His eyes were shining with excitement -they always were- and Yuya did not want to dim his light out just yet.

It was hard not to notice how Zuzu always got a little bit sad at the word No. He imagined he had heard it all too much through-out his life, being his disposition so wild and chaotic, with so little self restraint. But Yuya had found that Zuzu's thoughts weren't as chaotic and senseless as many said. And when it came to Zuzu offering kindness, which happened often enough for him to believe it was simply his natural disposition, it felt cruel to reject such an earnest show of care.

He told himself this, even if he knew perfectly well that it was him too, that didn't want to say goodbye just yet.

But goodbye they said, as Yuya opened the door to the building where he lived, and Zuzu waved at him until Yuya couldn't see him anymore, and he rode the elevator, a fuzzy feeling in his chest, a warm thing that didn't match the cold, freezing air of the night, at all.

He was surprised to find himself smiling, when he looked at the mirrored walls.

When his parents asked him if he had had fun, and why he hadn't called them to go pick him up, Yuya just answered he had forgotten, and that he had had a lot of fun, and he was only lying about one of those things.

II

A year had flown by too quickly, and Yuya felt entirely different than he did last holiday.

A year of volleyball, a year in which the one year difference between him and Zuzu had become meaningless, a year of playing side by side, together. He was the Ace, but Yuya was just as important, just as necessary (according to Zuzu, even more than that).

But the age difference was not, in fact, meaningless, and Zuzu was about to finish school, while Yuya had another year to go through.

They still had Nationals together, before he went for good (he was about to get scouted for the MSBY Black Jackals, or at least they were hoping so), but this would be the last holiday they spent together, as teammates. A fact he was painfully aware of, not only because Zuzu kept reminding him, counting down the days, teary eyed, but because he himself was accosted by the sense of finality of it all.

While he was excited about Nationals, and winning was the thought that occupied his mind most of the time, he also knew that those final months would go by in a haze. His life, their life, would become volleyball, and before they knew it, the matches would be over, the prizes would be handed, and the season would be done.

And Zuzu would be 500km away from him, living another life.

So this was the last moment of quietness they'd have together.

He wanted it to count for something, but he wasn't sure what. And he wasn't sure how to make that happen either.

This time they were celebrating Christmas with just the two of them, since Dan hadn't been able to convince his parents to invite so many people again (last Christmas had apparently ended with his older brother and his friends breaking a lamp and vomiting all over the bathroom floor and kitchen sink).

Yuya was in charge of getting the chicken. He had had a near Zuzu style meltdown when he realized that he might not be able to get any, since pre orders had run out.

Then he decided to make some of his own, and subsequently asked his mom to help out. It was a joint effort really, and they both had to do a couple practice runs, because KFC style fried chicken had nothing to do with how his mom did karaage, and he wanted to get the flavor just right, even if he had only tried it once, and he wasn't even sure that was really chicken in the first place .

When he had told Zuzu he was making the chicken, and that they could have it at his place, since his parents had decided to go out for dinner with some co-workers (they both worked at the Tokyo Metropolitan University where they had met), so he could be as loud as he wanted, Zuzu had gotten extremely excited and promised he'd cook something too.

He kept saying that what he was making was a secret, and he was NOT telling Yuya, no matter how many times he asked, even though Yuya had only asked once, and he seemed so excited and nervous about it that Yuya could barely tease him for it.

The day before came, and he was surprised to get a call from Zuzu asking if Runo and Marucho could tag along. Miraculously, he had just gone to pick up the chicken, and given Zuzu's tendency to invite people last minute, and the possibility he might mess it up, he had ordered extra.

"If I may ask, Zuzu, what prompted you to invite them?" Akashi asked, if only to hush down the annoying uncomfortable thought that perhaps Zuzu didn't feel comfortable having dinner alone with Yuya.

"Oh, he's here helping me out with the- theeee, with ummm, with SCHOOL STUFF, yes! He's helping me out with school stuff and I told him you were doing fried chicken and he asked if he could come! Wha-? Wait, Runo wants to talk to you."

"Hello Yuya." Runo said, and just from his voice he could tell the man was smiling.

"Hello Runo-san"

"As I was telling Zuzu, I only meant it as a joke when I asked if I could try your wonderful fried chicken. So ignore this idiot if this is of any inconvenience to you."

He could hear Zuzu's sounds of protest in the background.

"Not at all Runo-san. The more the merrier." he said without even thinking, feeling rather excited about the perspective, and perhaps a bit more relaxed than before. A simple gathering with friends. It was a fine way to spend Christmas.

"Alright then! We'll bring some dessert!"

"That's perfectly fine, though I believe Zuzu wanted to make a mysterious dessert himself."

"Aaaah, yeah… he did do that but. Just in case. Besides, there can never be too much dessert can it?"

"You're quite right Runo-san. See you tomorrow then. I'll text you the address later."

"Till tomorrow!"

And at that he hanged up.

Yuya had the sneaky suspicion that the cooking process hadn't gone very smoothly, and it was confirmed the next day when Zuzu showed up with a big jar filled with gingerbread men and a lengthy explanation about how they were a lot harder to do than what he initially thought from reading the recipe, and that by rest time he imagined that it meant one day, not a full month, so he was thinking maybe it was okay if he gifted them to Yuya now and in one month he could eat them.

Runo confirmed every word by vigorous nodding, and adding details like how he had burned the first batch and called him for help.

But the cookies smelled amazing and Yuya ignored both men by going to bite one.

"Zuzu." he said, feeling his eyes go wide. "These taste amazing! I think you did a really good job" he continued, earnestly, as he felt the spices in his mouth, and marveled at the soft texture.

This time there were actual tears in Zuzu's eyes, as he went to hug Yuya so hard that he felt like his lungs would collapse.

"Zuzu. I can't breathe." he managed to say after swallowing.

"Sorry 'Kaashi!" Zuzu said, but barely loosened the grip.

Runo had the tasteful sense to guide Marucho to the living room to leave their stuff, and give them a second.

Yuya slowly wrapped his arms around Zuzu, and hugged back, nestling his head on the man's shoulder.

Even from over the big puffy coat, he could feel Zuzu's warmth, and his big strong body.

"Thank you for the cookies." he offered, and Zuzu only wept louder.

"I'm going to miss you so much 'Kaashi. I don't want to go without you. No one will be able to set for me like you do."

"I'm sure MSBY's setter will be able to learn how to set for you, just like I did." he answered, feeling a pang of jealousy at the idea of another person taking up that role.

Zuzu was shaking his head no.

"No. No one will be like you, 'Kaashi." Zuzu insisted, and at that point, Yuya realized that perhaps this wasn't a volleyball related concern.

"No. You're right Zuzu. But I'm not going anywhere." he said, starting to feel quite teary eyed himself.

There was a moment of quiet, if the sounds of Zuzu's loud sniffing didn't count.

"Will you come visit?"

"Of course I will."

"Next Christmas. Will you come visit? You promise 'Kashi?"

"I promise Zuzu." he said, and that was when Zuzu finally let go of him.

"Wow. It smells amazing in here 'Kaashi! You're such a great cook!" he said, wiping his tears as he not so smoothly changed the topic.

"That's the smell of your own cookies Zuzu." he reminded him.

"Naaah, I bet it's the smell of your amazing cooking 'Kaashi!"

"It really isn't."

III

Yuya had never taken a long distance train on his own. But being freshly 18 and close to moving out of his parent's house to go study in another prefecture, he feels like it's time to start experimenting on doing this stuff on his own.

Right now, his future seems uncertain. He has applied to three different universities, and his plan is going to whichever one offers him a better scholarship, since he's fairly certain that he'll be able to ace the admission exam to all of them. But they're all far from home, which makes him more than a little bit anxious.

The best option is, of course, Osaka, since it's tuition is fairly cheap considering how high it ranks among the best colleges of Japan. Besides, Zuzu being close by means he won't be so alone, something even his parents commented on, saying they'll feel more comfortable knowing Zuzu is around to take care of their Keiji.

He had been surprised to hear them say something like that. It was far more common for people to treat him as if he was the one taking care of Zuzu, sacrificing himself in a way, having to "deal" with him. It always made Yuya rage inside, but he also knew there was no point in trying to convince them otherwise. Either they were smart enough to notice the truth, or they weren't.

But he supposes it makes sense for his parents to think differently, when he has been relying on Zuzu for support all year long, as he struggled with being captain, college prep, and being far away from his closest friend.

The amount of times her mother has brought him dinner to his room where he was studying while on the phone with Zuzu, who was either at the gym, or running, periodically shouting words of encouragement to Yuya, had probably helped too.

Zuzu had visited several times, and all those times he had spent a good amount of hours at Yuya's house, just hanging out with him. Oftentimes he would come on a weekday, since his free days had little to do with Holidays and weekends, and everything to do with how close the next match was, and practice schedules.

Even if Yuya's parents had, in the past, frequently expressed concern for Zuzu's future, given his bad grades at school, and general chaotic attitude, now they often commented, with a certain amount of pride, how great it was that he had gone V-League so young.

Both of Yuya's parents were scholars, the type of people who value education over most things. They had an appreciation for sports, the reason they had always supported his dedication for volleyball, but only among the lines of how strengthening the body and being able to work with a team of people was something that did good to the spirit and the mind.

But they had been to a couple of Fukurodani matches before Zuzu graduated, and they had been amazed by his bulldozing energy, and the way it commanded respect from others, just how Yuya had been the first time he saw Zuzu playing.

Now they loved talking about Yuya's professional athlete friend, who would surely get into the national team. And Yuya loved to see them gush over him, making especially caloric meals when he was there for dinner, to make sure he was eating enough to get strong, or reminding him he had to stay healthy, sleep a good amount of hours each night, stretch well so he wouldn't injure himself.

The train stopped at a station, and Yuya nervously looked around, as he searched for his phone to check if he was supposed to get down then, even if he was fully aware that he still had a while to go.

He had been particularly on edge the past few months, prepping for college, knowing full well he had to wait a couple more months to know where he was standing. He wasn't doing his actual entrance examination until later next year, in February, but he was already in talkatives about getting a half tuition, or even a full tuition fee exemption, due to merit points he had collected through a program at his high-school.

It was what he had been working towards all last year, besides winning nationals, since his family couldn't afford him to go study to any of these colleges without any discount being made on his tuition fee.

He had been stressing over this endlessly, but now, as he took the train to go see Zuzu, after 2 months having passed since the last time (his schedule had been so tight that he hadn't been able to go back home for christmas, the next night, though he would probably be able to spend New Year's at his parents house, which was more important for them either way), he tried to shun all of these thoughts away.

The train ride was short, and in one hour only, he'd be arriving at the station, being received by a -if his texts were anything to guide himself by- VERY! EXCITED! Zuzu.

He had been promised a big party with all of the MSBY team, at a fried chicken restaurant, and then going out to drink some with the older members.

Zuzu had assured him they didn't have to drink if they didn't want to, but that it would be fun to go with them either way.

Yuya was, truth be told, also Very! Excited! about this trip.

A full year ago, when Zuzu had made him promise he'd visit, the whole thing had felt quite flimsy. Like the type of promises you make just to comfort someone. Or to comfort yourself.

Not that he didn't mean to keep his word, it wasn't that. It was simply that he didn't know if in one year they would remain as close and Zuzu would be as interested in inviting him.

But over the course of the months, as it became clear that Yuya would not be able to go visit Osaka during the odd days Zuzu had off, who also wanted to see his own family during those, the promise kept being brought up by Zuzu, saying all was right since he was going to visit during Christmas! Which was really the best timing since he had been told Osaka was beautiful during december.

Yuya liked keeping his promises, and he was grateful Zuzu wanted this as much as he did.

He was also admittedly a bit anxious to meet the rest of the team.

He had already crossed words with Sora Perse, and Gong Strong, but only as rivals to be assessed. Now, however, they were Zuzu's teammates, and the newbies too, just like him. They did most things together, and Yuya had had all year to tame down the resurgence of jealousy he felt every time he saw a picture of the three of them, or each time Zuzu told him he was doing something with them that he'd normally do with him, like going to see a movie, or sightseeing, or even just having dinner.

He was hoping that the Christmas dinner would turn out to be as agreeable as last year's dinner had been.

Cooking a meal for a group of friends had made him feel like quite the adult, and he had had a lot of fun just conversing with them as they ate a, truth be told, absolutely delicious meal.

But now he was an actual adult, and he was going to be the youngest person there, the only one that still lived with his parents, that was still figuring out what to do with his life.

In comparison to him, they felt like real adults. Full-blown professionals. He had never felt intimidated by athletes, but this was different.

Deep in these thoughts he was when the train announced its arrival to Osaaka station. Hirataka, the city where the MSBY Black Jackals were based, was actually a full hour and two different trains away from Osaka, but Zuzu had insisted on picking him up from the bigger city.

"Don't want you to get lost 'Kaashi!"

"I'm sure I'll be fine, Zuzu. It's just a train transboard." he had explained, but Zuzu wasn't having it.

Yuya was happy that Zuzu was picking him up now, since the closer he got to Hirataka, the more he started to feel the anxiety like glue on his stomach.

But he had found that Zuzu was usually the antidote for his overthinking tendencies, even when he was far away, though Yuya was eager to get the full soothing experience.

"How can you be friends with him?" he had been asked by Onaga recently. " You're both so different."

"Yeah, like complete opposites." Anahori added. With the third years gone, they were the only ones left in the team that knew Zuzu.

The question was phrased in a joking manner but Yuya had decided to answer it truthfully, since it was something that he had often wondered about, back when their relationship had evolved from teammates to friends, his first year at Fukurodani.

"I find Zuzu's presence soothing," he explained.

"Soothing? Zuzu?" they had shouted in near unison.

"Yes. I find his lively temperament inspiring. It helps me feel more at ease and… present, in the moment."

The other two shared a weird look, and then Onaga admitted,

" Well, yes, he does have amazing energy. Though I feel like I'd get tired if I spent all of my time with him like you do. Even now you're on the phone with him all the time!"

"Maybe you guys even each other out! You're so calm and collected, and he's so intense and chaotic." Anahori offered.

"Yes, perhaps that's true." he had agreed.

He fidgeted in his seat, checking the time once more, and then again one second later. He was in desperate need of some evening out right now.

" 'KAAAAAAASHIIIIIIII!" was the first thing he heard the moment he got inside the train terminal.

And then there were a pair of strong arms wrapping him, picking him up from the floor and twirling him around.

He couldn't help the small laugh that escaped him. He knew people were staring, but he couldn't care less.

"Hello Zuzu" he quietly said, as Zuzu stopped the twirling, but was still holding him tight, Yuya's toes barely touching the floor. "You can drop me now Zuzu. I'm not going anywhere" he added, allowing himself that small passing remark.

But Zuzu's answer "Promise?" made Yuya's insides melt.

He hugged back, unable to not notice Zuzu's strong muscles, how they were flexing to keep Yuya's body up in the air.

"Of course." he answered, hoping his honesty was palpable.

And to that, Zuzu finally placed him back on the floor, letting his arms fall to his sides. .

He was teary eyed and oh, no, Yuya was now too.

What was this level of silliness?

"We saw each other just two months ago Zuzu" he said, but it was mostly to himself, as he quickly wiped off the tiny tears before they went down his cheeks.

"Still missed you 'Kaashi!" Zuzu protested and Yuya let out a small breathy laugh. What was up with him? He felt so stupidly giddy. But it seemed to cheer Zuzu up, as he was laughing too. "Come on! We have a train to catch!" he shouted, loud enough for the whole station to hear, and grabbed Yuya's bag as he sprinted for the other end of the terminal, leaving Yuya with no other option but to follow.

Zuzu had prepared a futon for Yuya, next to his own, in his one bedroom apartment, given to him by MSBY. Yuya had already noticed this when they stopped at his place to drop Yuya's bag, before Zuzu took him to do some sight-seeing for the afternoon.

"Don't you have practice today?" Yuya asked. Zuzu had made an online calendar he shared with Yuya, so that he could know when he was free to call, and such.

"I asked if I could skip! Not every day 'Kaashi comes to visit!" he said, grinning widely. Yuya felt his face heat up.

"I don't want to get you in trouble Zuzu."

"NAaaaH! Coach said It 's fine! I haven't skipped a single one since the season started! Besides, you're only here for 4 days. Gotta make the most of it!"

Yuya wondered how his face could feel so hot when the air was so cold.

They did the temple and a quick visit to the museum of History, and then went to have some soba okonomiyaki, and taiko manju at Zuzu's two favorite places. It was delicious and Yuya took a picture to send his parents, who were both asking about what the pair was up to.

Then they went back to Zuzu's apartment. And Yuya was faced with the futon on the floor again. For some (clearly dumb) reason, he had assumed he would be sharing a bed with Zuzu.

"I borrowed a futon from Barnes 'Kaashi!" Zuzu said smiling, when he saw Yuya staring at it. "So you don't have to share a bed with me again like back home!" he added.

Of course Zuzu had asked his teammate for an extra futon. That was the cordial thing to do, Yuya had to remind himself. He was just being a good host.

"Thank you Zuzu" he said, and hated the way his voice sounded so fake.

When they had both changed into their pjs, and were each safely tucked into their own futons, Zuzu asked

"You had fun today 'Kaashi?" he sounded half asleep already.

"I did. Thank you for inviting me, Zuzu."

"Of course 'Kaashi! You can come whenever you want." He wished that was true.

"Mhmm. If i get into Osaka's university, then that will be far more often I think." he said, both to Zuzu and himself.

"Mmmmm. I'm sure you'll get in 'Kaashi. You're the smartest person I know." Yuya should truly be embarrassed about how good those words made him feel.

"Thank you Zuzu."

"It will be nice to have you close." Zuzu added, and Yuya was positively toasty now.

"I think so too." he admitted.

"Goodnight 'Kaashi." he said, followed by a loud yawn.

"Goodnight Zuzu."

Yuya had packed a couple options for the dinner. Four options, to be precise. He was staring at them now, layed down on top of Zuzu's bed. The reason for such a dumb decision, as bringing that amount of clothes for a four day trip, was that when he was planing his outfits he realized he had no clue of what the vibe for that night would be. He was hoping he'd be able to figure it out there, but they were leaving in 30 minutes, Zuzu was too busy showering and he still had no fucking clue what he was wearing.

He heard the door open and turned around to find Zuzu wearing nothing but a towel around his hips.

Fuck. He had forgotten about this. About that. The body .

"Kaashi, you haven't changed yet!"

Zuzu commented, as he walked towards him. Yuya forced himself to tear his eyes away from Zuzu's pecs. Had they gotten bigger? Imposible. And yet…

"Yeah, I ummm- well i didn't know which one-"

"Oh this is my favorite one! It matches with your eyes, makes them pop." Yuya blinked a couple times as he processed the fact that Zuzu had used the expression "makes your eyes pop" and that he had a sweater of Yuya he considered his favorite . He cleared his voice, trying to keep his cool.

"Well then, I guess I'll wear this one." he said, as he grabbed the deep navy blue turtleneck sweater. He was hesitating on which pants to grab when Zuzu went for his favorite black slacks.

"These ones also make your- they fit you very nicely" he finished, looking rather flustered.

"I didn't know you were so into fashion Zuzu" he allowed himself to tease a bit.

"I'm not, I just like your clothes 'Kaashi." Zuzu smiles at him, and then when he turns around he mumbles "and Miya-san´s always telling me I should learn to dress better or I'll never get a boyfriend".

A boyfriend ? he wonders, alarms ringing in his head.

Stop overthinking, he tells himself. Or more like, think about it later, we're running late now.

He walks to the bathroom to get changed before deciding on answering, instead of pretending he didn't hear.

"For the record, Zuzu, I don't think you'll have any trouble getting a boyfriend. Anyone would be lucky to have you as their partner."

And then he closed the door before Zuzu had time to answer.

Zuzu was right, the navy sweater and the black slacks were a good combo. Not only did he look good (and his eyes were popping) but he also looked a bit older, which made him feel better about the fact that he was going to be the youngest there, besides, you know, the outsider.

He got out of the bathroom wondering if he should wear his brand new oxfords with this, or the black boots he had been wearing all winter, when he noticed Zuzu was shirtless and bent over himself.

Ah. Right. The hair routine. Zuzu's hair routine. Where he bent over for 5 full minutes while applying hair gel so that his hair would get all spiky like he liked. It was always hard to not laugh when he saw him doing that.

"'Kaashi!" he screamed, startling him, his face upside down in between his legs.

"Yes, Zuzu?"

"Can you lend me one of your fancy sweaters? All of the nice ones I have are dirty."

Oh.

"Ummm.. I don't know if they will fit Zuzu" he answered, eyeing his 3 remaining fancy sweaters. "Perhaps this one" he pondered, grabbing the biggest one he had. It was a deep green color, chunky with a cable knit design. It was kind of oversized on him, perhaps it would fit Zuzu.

He had to help him put the sweater on so that it wouldn't fuck up his just styled hair, and even if he did his best to avoid touching him, his hands grazed over his neck, and the expanse of skin between his pants and the plain white t-shirt he was wearing.

He walked with him to the bathroom mirror to see how it looked. It was certainly a… tight fit. It hugged each one of Zuzu's curves, which was quite a feat, since it was a very chunky, shapeless sweater. On Yuya at least.

"What do you think 'Kaashi?" Zuzu asked, as he considered himself in the mirror, a pensive look.

"I think it's quite alright Zuzu. It… hugs you well."

"It feels very comfy! And I like the color! Very festive."

"Very festive indeed." Yuya agreed, as he stared once again at Zuzu's chest. Dear lord, his pecs had really gotten bigger. How was that physically possible?

"'KAASHI!" Zuzu shouted, startling Yuya again. "I think I have a red scarf! That'll be really festive." he announced, sprinting for his tiny closet.

Yuya was then faced with his blushed face on the bathroom mirror. God, he really needed to get a grip on himself. Everyone was going to be able to tell otherwise.

As it tended to happen with this sort of thing, Yuya's fears were proved unfounded. While his analytical skills were an asset on the court, they could easily become a handicap when it came to social situations. But Zuzu's teammates were extremely nice and attentive, talked to Yuya normally and not even one of them made a comment about how he was one (1) year younger than Zuzu, or how he was obviously pining for him. In fact, for most of the night, they were too busy drinking and chatting to even pay that much attention to Yuya.

So the evening went by mostly conversing with Zuzu, which he had found he could do for hours on end, and getting to know Miya and the quiet Gong Strong. They were all handed a beer, with a strong palm on their backs at the beginning of the night. Yuya drank slowly from his, as he ate his share of fried chicken, fully aware that, given he had barely drank during highschool, his tolerance was probably not too high.

Miya, on the other hand, apparently dead set on showing he was a big boy now, drank 5 times the amount of beer Yuya did.

As a result, Zuzu and Yuya, with Gong Strong leading the way and opening the doors for them, had to carry a very drunk Yugo to his apartment. Except that when he got there, he realized he had lost his key.

So now it was 3 am on the 25th of december, and the blonde man was lying on what had been up to that point, Yuya's futon.

"So…" Yuya said, looking at Zuzu's bed, his eyes itching with exhaustion.

"Sorry 'Kaashi. Didn't think he'd get this drunk..:"

"That's fine Zuzu. Let's just go to bed now." Yuya said, already yawning.

He really thought he'd be too tired to panic about sharing a bed with Zuzu, but when he got inside, he realized that this futon was smaller? Or maybe Zuzu was just generally bigger than he remembered. It seemed to be just so much skin touching. He could feel himself drifting away from sleep and there was nothing he could do about it.

Damn Zuzu and his stupidly warm and soft and big and beautiful body.

He knew Zuzu was having trouble sleeping too, from how he was tossing and turning. He wanted to do something. No. He needed to do something. Anything. It was just too close not to.

Just do it. Come on. He told his body, but he was petrified in place. What if Zuzu reacted badly? What if he had misheard and he had said girlfriend earlier that day? What if he had said boyfriend but he had someone else in mind?

On the other hand, Zuzu was never opposed to physical contact. He could always pass it off as bros being bros. Zuzu was always very touchy touchy with Runo. Hell, if they had to share a bed, he bet they wouldn't even hesitate on cuddling, in a very platonic way.

Fuck it.

He turned to his side, and shoved his face into Zuzu's pecs, which were conveniently just right there, while wrapping an arm around his waist. How was his waist this small with that huge chest? How was that man even real?

Zuzu stayed still for less than a second, not even enough for Yuya to regret anything, before hugging Yuya back, and sighing happily.

He should say something. He really should. But it seemed like he had exhausted himself by the past half an hour of doubting and gay panicking.

He settled deep into Zuzu's arms, and allowed his consciousness to slip away. The next step was future Yuya's problem.

IV

College was hard.

He had barely any time to do anything other than studying. His sleep schedule was fucked up, staying late and waking up early, taking naps in the dead time between one class and the other, and still not amounting to anything close to a decent number of sleeping hours. His eating habits were chaotic, at best, and absolutely unhealthy at worst.

To top it all off, in a clear act of self hatred, he had decided to postpone buying tickets to go home for the holidays till the last second, only to find they were sold out. Of course they were, everyone and their mother were going home for these dates. How could he have forgotten to take that into consideration? All of his friends back in Tokyo had organized a party that he had been very excited to attend. He had barely seen them all year long.

In the end, he had gotten a ticket for the 25th at 1p.m.

He would be absolutely depressed about it if Zuzu hadn't declared that he wasn't leaving Yuya alone and moved his ticket for the 25th as well.

Just thinking about it made something in Yuya's stomach flutter, and all the bad things seem quite insignificant.

He should be arriving any time now, and then they were going out to buy some chicken to fry themselves, since they clearly were too late to order some.

Yuya was smiling to himself as he went down to meet Zuzu at the door, having received a text saying he was two blocks away. It was silly, really, but they had gotten a new pda level unlocked and he liked it so much he was constantly planning situations for it to happen. It was rather silly since they already were very physical in their affection, but the new thing was holding hands as they walked and… just the thought of it made him giddy. He had never done that before with anyone.

Having Zuzu near had been the only reason he had been able to survive the past year. They had made a pact to see each other every week, usually whenever Zuzu had some free time, since Yuya generally didn't.

"I was thinking maybe we could be roommates 'Kaashi." he had told him a couple weeks ago, out of the blue, as Yuya finished editing a paper, and Zuzu watched videos from the team they had a match against next week.

"Do you want to move to Osaka?" he asked, not allowing himself to get too excited just yet. Perhaps he hadn't thought this through…

"Yeah! The captain also lives here, it's not such a big commute if you think about it… just less of an hour. We already had a similar commute in Tokyo to get to Fukurodani."

"You've been thinking about it,"

"Yeah. I have."

He was being very serious about it, a rare thing for him.

Yuya shut down the laptop and set it on the floor next to the couch.

"If you want to come live here because you're worried about me not feeding myself properly, I already told you next year I'm going to be doing meal prep-"

"That's not it 'Kaashi." he said, also stopping the tv. "I want to move here. To Osaka."

There was intensity in his eyes. Like there were many more things behind the words he was saying. Yuya had to contain a shiver.

"Of course that if you're living here… it would make more sense for us to live together."

There was a smile forming on Zuzu's face, slowly taking over his face.

"It would just be… the most logical thing. We could divide expenses. We could both live at a better place, with my scholarship housing money and your salary."

Zuzu was beaming at him.

"And we'd be able to help each other more. Cook and clean and all of that."

And we'd be closer.

It was right there, on the tip of his tongue. For a second, he was sure it was written on Zuzu's face as well.

V

This time it had been Zuzu's fault that they weren't going back home for christmas. Or more like a delayed match's fault, which meant he would be training even on the 24th.

Honestly it wasn't a big deal. Yuya had the last final on the 23th and he really didn't feel like starting packing immediately after that. He liked the idea of staying in the appartment just watching a stupid show and eating, once again, homemade fried chicken, since they hadn't known till the last minute what they were doing to plan for anything more fancy than that.

This time they hadn't even bothered trying to make it american style. Karaage and beer it was. It wasn't even that cold, but Yuya couldn't think of anything he wanted to do more than stay bundled up in their shared apartment.

Living with Zuzu had been the best decision Yuya had ever made, right after going to study at Okasa's university.

Sure, there had been a learning curve. The first month and a half, dishes had piled up on the sink and groceries they had bought but never had the time to cook had gone bad in the fridge.

But once they finished setting the apartment up and figuring out how to make their schedules work together, things went on smoothly.

As in, really really really smooth. They had the unspoken agreement to try and spend all of their free time together, and Yuya had found himself thinking that perhaps this could be his life, forever.

After that mention of a boyfriend already two years ago, Zuzu had never talked about any romantic interests. He had been asked out by a couple of people, from both sexes, but he always refused them, choosing to stay at the apartment with Yuya.

And at some point, things had gone forward between them. Physically, that was. It had happened in a way that left no room for talking about it. It wasn't a big deal. They were just having fun.

"Why aren't we dating 'Kaashi?" Zuzu asked him, in all seriousness, and Yuya almost choked on the piece of chicken he was chewing.

"Huh?" he asked. He couldn't have heard that right.

"Do you not like me like that?"

Yuya felt like he had been punched in the lungs. The room was spinning.

"Wha-"

"Do you want to just stay friends with benefits?" Zuzu kept going, and Yuya needed to stop him somehow.

"Koutarou" he said, even more serious than Zuzu. "What do you mean with "like you like that"?"

Zuzu blinked at him a couple times.

"Like love." he finally said, looking down at his hooked hands on his lap.

"Oh." Yuya could almost feel the smoke coming out of his own ears. " Why do you assume I don't… love you?"

Zuzu's eyes shot up, to look at him, that intense look on his face again, pinning Yuya in place.

"Because we've been like this for months and you never asked me out."

"Well… you never asked me out either" he defended himself.

"I did! I asked you if you wanted to go to the movies!"

"...that was months ago! And I said no because I didn't have the time, not because I didn't want to go!"

This was getting ridiculous.

"Zuzu… Koutarou. Do you want us to date? Were you trying to ask me out when you asked me to the movies?"

"Yes! Of course I want us to date 'Kaashi! I've been in love with you since second year of highschool! I thought you knew…" he said, frowning hard, like Yuya might be making a joke.

"Well, I-" it was like a montage of every shared moment flashed before his eyes. Everytime Zuzu hugged him, or told him he liked being with him, around him. Every tear shed by the both of them for being apart. Every time they held hands while walking on the street, or Zuzu going far and beyond to show Yuya just how much he cared, how much he prefered him .

He laughed.

God was he stupid.

"I'm dumber than you think Zuzu" he admitted, to a very confused Zuzu.

"I've also been in love with you since highschool." he kept going, feeling his face heat up. "I don't know why it took me so long to say it, but it did. And I can assure you, if you ask me out again, I will be saying yes. I promise."

Zuzu's face was happiness itself. Yuya only hoped he looked even half as happy.

"Will you go out with me 'Kaashi?" he asked, holding one of Yuya's hands.

"Of course! Where to, Zuzu?"

"Anywhere!" he answered, excited, and they both laughed. Then his other hand was on Yuya's cheek and oh, how could it possibly be this soft? He nuzzled into it. "Everywhere." Zuzu whispered, as he drew Yuya in for a kiss.

Yeah, christmas was definitely Yuya's favorite time of the year.

V+I

It was quite convenient, in a way, for their anniversary to land exactly on the 25th of december. For one, it meant they usually already had the day freed up. The 24 was already a couple's thing, so they could just go out for dinner and spend the next day cuddled up in bed, how they'd been doing for the past years.

But this year they had a different plan. His parents had been insisting for months that they wanted to know the new house, and they had been postponing it because it was a mess, contractor workers and boxes they didn't have the time to unpack. But finally the big stuff had been finished, and they had gotten the chance to work on making it look pretty or… livable at least. Just in time for the holidays.

Their parents had never been big on Christmas, but these ones were special: it was their 5 year anniversary. Two in one.

At first it was just going to be Zuzu's parents for Christmas and then Yuya's for New Years, but then the plan kept getting bigger and bigger.

As of now, it was both their families, Marucho and Runo who were visiting for the weekend, Gong Strong and Sora Perse (who were still pretending like they weren't dating even if everyone knew they were), and Hinata and Kageyama, who promised to behave, but was to be kept away from the alcohol.

A rather funny mix of people, but Yuya is determined not to stress too much about it. These are the people in his life, and it will be nice to see them all in one room.

Ordering the traditional KFC chicken was quickly discarded for an array of japanese winter staples. In the end, they all agreed to bring their favorite foods to share.

The day goes by in a frenzy of cleaning and cooking and preparing the extra rooms and turning the workout room into another room and then showering and getting dressed and running to open the door and greeting everyone and oh, they forgot to buy sake, how could they possibly forget to buy sake, should he go out to get some more, no there's no need let's ask Miya and Gong Strong since they surely didn't even leave their apartment yet, oh I bet they're fucking those idiots, 'Kashi, don't worry about it! Everything will be okay!

As his mom gives him a hand setting up the table, Yuya finally stops for a second to breathe.

It looks beautiful, it really does. His mother always had a hand for this. And his dad is entertaining the rest of the guests with funny stories about when he was a kid, with Zuzu's parents eager for their turn.

A pair of strong arms go around his waist and pull from him, making him lean back.

"Beautiful." Zuzu says to his ear, and Yuya pretends like he doesn't know Zuzu is looking at him instead of the table.

"It really quite is. I should ask my mother to teach me how to fold napkins like that."

Zuzu just laughs softly, nuzzling into his neck, hugging him tighter. "I love you" he says, like he's admitting to something. Like it's the first time he says it.

"Love you too 'Kaashi."