By the time Tessa reached her apartment, she was caught coughing so badly that she had to flop onto the chair to avoid falling. Despite the soft pillow on the chair, the impact knocked the air out of her lungs, making her cough even more. This in turn resulted in a stabbing headache.
She covered her mouth with one hand and ran the other over her aching hip in a massaging stroke.
In the past, she could have worked two more shifts, looked after her two children, and fallen asleep with a smile.
She could just ignore pain and move on.
Being old wasn't easy. Will always told her that getting old gives you the freedom to sit back and be waited on. He had that unforgettable twinkle in his eye as he teased her with his crooked smile about not getting the being old part right.
He hadn't been any better himself. Will had bumblebees up his ass. They were both too young at heart to let themselves go. But while she tried to be helpful everywhere, he got on everyone's nerves. He was always looking for new victims to track down. He said he would give helpful comments, but in truth he knew that his age gave him the freedom to say whatever he wanted without being scolded.
Ironically, those stories had been particularly popular at his deathbed.
Catarina opened the door of her small apartment and analyzed Tessa's condition for a moment before going to the stove and heating a pot of water without a word.
Catarina had been Will's nurse, she had accompanied him to his death and then offered Tessa a place in her apartment. She was in her forties, but widowed at an early age. She understood then that Tessa could not remain in the institute where she had shared her life with her husband. Watching the old life just go on without that love.
Tessa knew that Catarina was the only reason her family wasn't urging her to come back.
As the water began to boil, Catarina helped Tessa up and to the dining table. She placed the steaming pot in front of her and Tessa bent over it and inhaled the steam without her roommate having to say a word.
That's what she loves about her flat share with Catarina. Catarina did these little things for Tessa but was careful not to mother her. She didn't feel sorry, nor did she help more than Tessa would let on. Whenever Tessa was cooking or cleaning something, she didn't try to stop Tessa.
She was a friend to her, not a nurse.
The steam cleared Tessa's airway enough to stop her coughing. Her head was still throbbing, though. However, she decided against taking a pill.
Since she had overstretched herself today, she would need the pain medication later.
"Wasn't there an annual Christmas party at the institute today?" Catarina asked after a while.
Yes, the Christmas party...
Tessa loved this celebration. Just like Will had always loved it. She had left the last few years even after his death. This year, however, she could not overcome herself.
She just felt too lonely without him. Even though she knew everyone, her whole family was there, she often felt the need to turn around and whisper a joke to Will, one only the two of them understood. It always disappointed her when he wasn't there to laugh with her.
But it wasn't just him.
A lot of people think it was impressive how old Tessa already was. There aren't many people who get older than eighty. But they didn't see how lonely it can be. Most of her friends, people she knew most of her life, needed to get buried by her.
And Christmas time was the hardest.
It was her husband and their friends they made who invented the big Christmas party at the institute. The once who still could remember Jem.
So they gather every year, no matter where life brought them and share their stories about him.
Now there was only Tessa, who still remembers.
Sometimes she wanted the war to end, just so she could go and join them in the life that comes next.