Chapter 82

"I am too, for lying to you about how I really felt after the spell was broken." Melyssa reached out to touch his arm, those pink eyes moving to look down at her and she longed for the mirth they once held. All she saw was sorrow and pain – pain she had caused him. "I didn't want to hurt you, Ash. I never wanted to hurt you." Her voice cracked, tears stinging her eyes and she had to look away from him, taking a deep breath. "What's done is done and we can't change any of it, but…we can move forward and start over and rebuild our friendship. Maybe get it back to where it used to be. Are you willing to do that or…has too much damage been done between us, Carbide?"

"I think we both need time, Melyssa." He said finally, knowing there was no way their friendship was going to bounce back to how it had been anytime soon, if ever to be honest. "This is a good start." And he was done with fucking anything that gave him a second look, which was a lot of women – and some men if truth be told – because the idea of sex was losing its appeal again. "I think I'm going to get help, for this… addiction." Admitting that cost him some pride points with himself, but he also knew it was for the best. "I don't want to repeat what happened with you ever again." Because he had hurt the person he cared for the most, he never wanted to put another soul through that.

"Moderation goes a long way, Carbide. Maybe it wasn't an addiction, maybe you just deprived your body of what it wanted for so long, it all just…came rushing out or something." That was a possibility, right? Melyssa watched him slowly shake his head and she left it at that, turning to stare out into the city lights twinkling back at them. "I don't regret being with you, Ash. I hope you know that. My only regret is how it ended between us and the fact I didn't tell you how I truly felt after the spell was broken."

"Same here, I had a lot of fun with you, beautiful." Ash sucked in a breath and turned to fully face her, not believing how sexy and exquisite she looked dripping in diamonds. "How about one more for the road, hmm? You look far too beautiful tonight not to be kissed by someone."

Melyssa looked back at him, seeing he was serious, and didn't stop him when he took her hand to pull her into his arms, those pink eyes boring into hers. Her body was crying out for him and she knew why because his touch was familiar. "One more for the road." One more kiss wouldn't hurt anything.

It was a goodbye kiss, something to give them closure. She sighed softly the moment his lips met hers, the kiss slow and sensual, her arms encircling his neck to press her body against his. Her body wanted him, but her brain and her heart did not, which was a very conflicting, weird feeling. It broke all too soon, both pulling away mutually and she reached up to wipe away some of the red gloss from his lips with a soft smile.

"See you around, Carbide." Then, she walked away from him and did not look back, feeling better about the future between them after that talk.

What. The. Actual. Fuck. Was all Crow could think. He had spotted Melyssa talking to Ash and against his better inner advice, he had sort of followed and watched. Wow. He didn't know what to think or how to feel at that kiss they shared. It had been hot, steamy, slow, and very sensual. He stepped out of sight when Melyssa came back inside, waiting a few moments before joining Ash on the balcony. Crow didn't say a word for a while, just stared at his friend.

"If she takes you back and you hurt her again, I'll remove your head from your shoulders." He said it softly, but the ice underlining his tone was plain.

Ash was pretty sure that would never happen and just nodded. "I'm not good enough for her, man. And she made it clear she wants to be friends. That was just closure for us…" Why was he explaining this to Crow, of all people? Then, Ash looked over at Crow and could see the FIRE in the man's crimson eyes, suddenly understanding. "She's free as a bird, but it won't be long before someone snatches her beautiful ass up. If I were you, I wouldn't wait too long." He clapped Crow on the shoulder and headed back inside, feeling a little better about things now that he had a talk with Melyssa.

Crow shook his head, deciding he would remain out here for a while. Ash had that all wrong, but then again, Ash obviously wasn't the brightest, or else he wouldn't have lost her, to begin with. He wasn't looking to date or bed Melyssa, that would just be wrong on a lot of levels. He was looking out for Melyssa, not wanting her heart broken again or just hurt, period. She was his sister practically, she had just called him 'bro' the other day. He knew he had been the one to lay down that groundwork once he had gotten all his memories back and she had graciously forgiven him for leading her on.

All wrong, Ash was wrong.

Right?

No, Ash was not wrong because, no matter how much Crow wanted to deny it, his feelings for Melyssa were not in the family category. That was why he voiced his concern about her being with Ash. That was why he offered her a place to stay, to get her mind back on track after everything fell apart with Ash. That was why he was always there for her and why he'd made himself heartsick, like Ash, when she was taken over two years ago. That was why he forgave her for deceiving them with Lysa Reynolds and those hideous masks. That was why every relationship he'd been in since reconciling with Melyssa had failed…because they weren't HER.

Everywhere he turned, Melyssa was always on his mind and in his heart. He could deny it all he wanted, but fear is what made him say the things he did the last time they kissed. Getting his memories back, he felt disgusted with himself to lust after someone he had grown up with, but they weren't blood and it took him a while to come to grips with that realization. She was much more than a sister to him – she was something else entirely.

No, Ash was NOT wrong and if Rean Schwarzer's sister, Elise, could be in love with her own adopted brother, then why couldn't Crow be in love with the woman he had dubbed his best friend when he was a kid?

Crow switched off with Rean, taking his turn to guard Machias and it was a welcome relief because now his head was every which way when it came to Melyssa. He knew he was probably making things overly complicated, but right now, he had a job to do so he shoved her to the back of his mind, focusing on Machias and potential threats. He'd deal with everything else later.

Rean, cheerful and pleasant as always, went to greet his former student. "You look stunning." He complimented warmly, taking her hand to drop a kiss on the top of it.

"Rean…" Melyssa didn't expect him to approach her, figuring he would avoid her after the Dark Ages spell fiasco. She smiled at him nevertheless and stood up, giving him a platonic hug. "It's so good to see you again." As himself, completely, and she could tell he was truly Rean by the look in his fuchsia eyes. "How've you been? You clean up nice as well."

He was dressed in a crisp white shirt and black pants with his white trench coat on, his hair haphazard as always. There were a lot of things she wanted to say to him because she knew the spell was her fault. If she wouldn't have caved to Ouroboros, to McBurn's demands, and gone with him, the Grandmaster never would've put the spell on that charm he had gifted her.

Rean stared down at her intently, studying her eyes, and then flashed her his signature 'it's okay' smile, true warmth in it. "Don't even worry about things from the past, there's no changing them now." He informed her, taking her hands in his and squeezing gently. "And it all worked out in the end, right?" He had dealt with his own issues during the past few months, working through the guilt from the things he had said and done while under the influence of the Dark Ages spell, as well as the lingering issues from that night in Jurai. "I'm sorry I had to swap out with Crow; I saw you two dancing, and it looked like you were having a blast."

"Yeah, I haven't had that much fun in a long time and it felt nice to be able to do something like that," Melyssa admitted, her voice soft, and had nodded at what he said regarding the past. Nothing could be changed. They all had to just move forward and keep pressing on. "And don't apologize. I know Crow has a duty to perform and he danced with me and spent time with me, so I'm good." It was fun while it lasted and she didn't want to be clingy. When Rean asked her to dance with him, since he hadn't had a chance to that evening, she obliged and let him guide her to the dance floor, their stance nowhere near as close as it had been with Crow. "You really do look good, Rean. You look like you're happier and more content now. It's nice to see you back to your old self again." Don't ever change, Schwarzer. You are fine just the way you are.

"Thank you. You are also looking much better since the last time we saw each other."

She had been ragged and he had nearly taken her head off, though he didn't flinch at the memories like he would have before. That had not been him and he knew it, accepted it now. The path went ever forward, ever winding and he would never discover where it went if he kept glancing back at the past. Not that he was all peaceful and whatnot; he was the one who had beaned Ash when he had found out what had happened between him and Melyssa.

Nobody had expected that, but… there it was.

That was a memory she really wanted to forget, his Tachi at her throat and nearly taking her head off with it. Nightmares plagued her after the spell was broken and Ash had been there to chase them away…with sex. It was always sex with him. She would wake up screaming and crying and he would coax her into 'forgetting' about it by having sex. Melyssa had gone along with it because she did want to forget that horrible memory and the feeling of his Tachi against her carotid artery. Thankfully, she was no longer afraid of Rean, but it had taken time to get over and she hoped he finally found the happiness and love he deserved.

Surprisingly, however, even with the spell broken, her desire for Rean had vanished over the past two years while she'd been isolated with Ouroboros. She had gone from kissing him and having sex dreams about him to…nothing. Melyssa felt nothing for him besides friendship, the same way she did with Ash once the spell broke. It confused her because she was certain she wanted to be with Rean, but now…she didn't.

Crow. The one man she would never be able to have was the one she wanted to be with the most. That was a very bitter pill to swallow.

"You look like you just swallowed the most disgusting thing ever," Rean remarked, his fuchsia eyes sparkling with amusement as he studied her. "Your mouth puckered in on itself and your nose did this little twitch and pulled in." He imitated it, beginning to chuckle when she lightly slapped his shoulder, spinning her in a slow circle as a waltz came on.

It was a very stark difference from the earlier music, the earlier dancing and, truth be told, this was more his style. He was trained to dance, it had been part of his noble upbringing, learning how to dance. Like he had told her years ago, it was great for footwork when it came to swordsmanship.

"What crossed your mind?"

"Some things are better left unsaid, my former Instructor, and I'm having too much fun to ruin it with my thoughts. Don't worry, they're not about you."

He twirled her again and she danced right along with him, meeting his footwork, remembering how much fun dance class had been. The few times she had gone, anyway. One thing about Rean was he did not pressure or push people to say what was on their minds. If they wanted to talk about it, they would and this definitely wasn't the time or place to discuss such things. Honestly, she didn't know if she COULD talk about what was on her mind with Rean because it had to do with his best friend…who was also her best friend.

"Have you ever wanted to be with someone so badly, but every time you tried, it just...never worked?" Maybe she would go the hypothetical route since she longed for some advice.

Rean nodded, shutting his eyes briefly because there was one woman he longed for. There hadn't been for a while because of the spell he'd been under, but now that he was back to himself, she had been at the forefront of his mind lately. "Yeah, actually, I have." He twirled her again and brought her back against him, wondering where this question stemmed from.

"Who is it? If you don't mind me asking, that is…" Please don't say me, please don't say me!

"Alisa." Rean smiled sheepishly, knowing it was impossible because of who she was, but…he could not get the blonde off his mind.

It'd been that way throughout their years at Thors Military Academy. Their first time meeting had been outside of the train station and then…they had a rather unfortunate second meeting that resulted in his face planted in her bosom with her on top of him. He shuddered at that memory because she had hauled off and slapped the taste out of his mouth, then held a grudge against him for a couple of months afterward, until they had to do their first field study together.

"I haven't…talked to her in a while."

"So, why don't you? You're back to your normal self again and I'm sure she understands what happened. You won't know unless you try, Rean."

Rean wasn't very good at approaching people, even though he'd done it with Melyssa. "You really think I should?" He sounded doubtful, looking down into her teal eyes and could see the certainty there.

"Something tells me she's been waiting for you to call her. No time like the present, but don't force yourself into it. If you're not ready, you're not ready."

"I'll do that." Rean said after a long moment of silence, just waltzing with her, nodding his head. His mind was made up and now he'd get it done, maybe things would work out this time with a lot less awkwardness from him. "And you should probably speak to Crow." He smiled wickedly, a bit unusual for him when her startled teal eyes flew to meet his. "I remember you telling Ash and myself, about that disastrous kiss. At the military base after the train incident." He had gone out himself to find her sparring in the woods away from said base.

Heaving a sigh, she couldn't deny it and hated how well Rean could still read her, even after all the time they were apart. "It wouldn't do any good, Rean. He doesn't think of me that way. I'm a sister to him. Family…" Melyssa frowned, seeing him slowly shake his head, and tilted her own, confusion lacing her eyes. "Why are you shaking your head? He told me himself it felt like he was kissing his own sister when he kissed me…" He twirled her again, his way of giving himself time to think, apparently, and brought her back against him.

They were talking softly, so nobody else could overhear them and she was thankful for that.