Batman was a vessel for the worst phantoms of the past, allowing them to shape the future. Bruce Wayne tried his best to leave those phantoms with the suit. Everyone once in a while though, he found they followed him, invading his mind at unexpected times. One of the most persistent ones seemed, on it's face, so innocuous. This was probably why it slipped in so easily.

Bruce had been out in many a storm and had watched them form. He knew how still the air could be just before they broke and often, he likened this memory to that. Sweet and bitter all at once; the night before the end of the world…

The bed shifted and creaked as the interloper climbed onto it. For a moment, there was a flash of cold as the blankets were thrown off, but they settled back into place as the interloper arranged himself beneath them. Blinking blearily in the darkness at the sudden intrusion Bruce, who had been lying on his stomach, pushed himself up onto one elbow and clapped his hands. The line of lights above the bed flashed on and Bruce got a glimpse of the sour-looking teenager sitting as far on the other side of the bed as he could without falling off before another set of claps sent them back into darkness. "I'm not here." The voice was petulant and insistent and Bruce, eyes open only a slit after going from dark to light and back to dark so quickly, lay fuzzy-headed and trying to call up a reasonable response.

"Fine," he finally muttered, and he rolled over, his back to the interloper, intending to go back to sleep.

"You're an asshole."

"Can we finish fighting tomorrow afternoon?" Bruce muttered sleepily, "I need a break from you." The interloper seemed to feel no such desire to put off the battle, however, despite what he had previously said about not being present.

"It was not excessive force! I took the guy down, that's what you trained me to do!" The anger that had roared through Bruce earlier was starting to come back now, waking him up more fully despite his exhaustion. He rolled back over and clapped again, the lights flaring up and blinding them both.

"You crippled him!"

"He asked for it!" Another clap from Jason and the lights went back out. As the darkness fell back over them, Bruce's exhaustion seemed to press him down into the mattress.

"Go away Jason," he snapped, "I am not doing this with you tonight. You want to scream at me, find some other time."

Jason threw back the covers and flounced out of the bed, plunging Bruce into the cold of the air beyond his blankets, and stamped towards the door. Bruce waited for the slam of the door, but it didn't come. Instead, the silence grew unbearable between them, and Bruce tensed involuntarily, waiting for Jason to start shouting again. He didn't. "I…look, I'm sorry man…I don't…I don't know why I keep picking fights with you." His voice was quiet and confused and vulnerable, very unlike the boy's normal se;f-assured cadence. Bruce bit back a curse. Why did Jason always pull this shit when he was tired? Today, the exhaustion was threatening to overwhelm him, but he clapped again, and the lights came back on. Jason was standing with his back to Bruce, close to the door.

"Did you come here just to call me an asshole or was there something else you needed?"

"I don't…I don't know. It's just…it's raining…" Bruce let the silence fall between them as he considered his options. He needed a break from this boy, he was still so angry, he could hardly think straight, and he badly needed sleep, but he couldn't bring himself to send him away.

"You can stay if you leave me alone," he grumbled softly, rolling over so he was facing the opposite wall. He closed his eyes and listened as Jason clapped again and made his way back across the floor. He heard the creak of the bed under the teenager's weight and felt the blankets come back over him, over them both. Jason had returned to the far opposite edge of the bed and Bruce could tell he was still sitting up, but at least he was quiet. Maybe eventually he would go to sleep. If Bruce was lucky, Jason would just leave. He was not sure how many years it had been since the boy had actually slept with him.

There was silence between them for a few minutes and Bruce felt himself drifting back down into sleep. He was mired somewhere in the half dreams that precede actual slumber when Jason spoke again. "Being fifteen fucking sucks." Bruce sighed deeply. Alright fine, he would deal with this now. He was Batman, he didn't really need sleep. He clapped again and the lights flared back on. "Stop it with that fucking clapper," Jason snapped, "I wish you had never seen the commercial for that thing." Bruce grinned despite himself.

"I like it."

"That's 'cause you're an idiot." Jason snuffed the lights with another clap and Bruce decided that if the boy was more comfortable in the dark, he could commiserate with that. He should sit up or he might fall back asleep, but he could not bring himself to, so he just lay facing the boy, who's fuzzy outline was barely visible in the gloom.

"Being fifteen sucks for everyone," he said softly. The comment seemed to open Jason up.

"I'm so angry all the time and I…don't want to fight with you but I just keep…"

"It's ok," Bruce said pragmatically, "Three more years and you're not my responsibility anymore." Jason snorted.

"Just gonna kick me out, huh?"

"Probably." Bruce grunted, rolling over onto his back, "Dick's ass was on the streets when he turned eighteen."

"Was Dick…did you and Dick fight this much?" Bruce considered the question.

"No…not this much." Jason licked his lips and Bruce was not sure what else to say. The anger from early in the evening was still swirling around in him and, if he was being honest with himself, he had to admit there were days he missed Dick badly. Things had been easier with him. Dick had never been this angry and they had understood each other a little better, or perhaps Dick had understood him better. "You don't have to leave when you turn eighteen though. Actually…I'd prefer you stayed, keep me from filling the house with things "As Seen on TV"." Jason laughed.

"Man, Alfred would kill you! Too bad I won't be there to see it."

"Have plans already?" Bruce asked playfully, still thinking about what Alfred would do if any more packages with eccentric household items showed up at the door. The butler had been angry enough about the clapper, calling it "Quite beneath the expected décor of Stately Wayne Manor."

"Hell yeah old man, I'm going to college first chance I get."

"You're going to college?" Bruce asked with genuine surprise.

"Yeah," Jason snapped suddenly, reacting as though the older man had burned him, "I don't know why's that such a fucking shock? Don't think I'll get in?"

"No," Bruce replied thoughtfully as he allowed Jason's anger, for once, to just roll off him, "Of course you'll get it in. I just…I didn't realize you were thinking about going. Where do you want to go?" The bed had quivered slightly under Jason's tense rage but now, the Dark Knight could feel the boy sink down, the fury ebbing as quickly as it had come. "I…I don't know yet. Wherever I get in I guess." Bruce snorted.

"You'd better be ready to make an actual decision. With your grades, you'll probably get in anywhere you apply." The sheets rustled slightly as Jason scooted just a hair closer.

"You really think so?"

"'Course I do. I mean, we'll have to see how you do the next couple years, but you can probably go wherever you want."

"How…how do people pick a college?"

"Usually based on what they want to study. Different colleges are better in different subjects, you know."

"How do people pick what they want to study?" Bruce almost laughed again but he didn't want Jason to think he was making fun of him.

"I think most people just go with what they're good at, but you're pretty much good at everything. You'll have to pick what you like best, I guess."

"Literature," Jason said without hesitation. Bruce couldn't smother his derisive sniff.

"Good thing you're independently wealthy."

"Fuck off old man," Jason replied, his tone was more jovial than biting now. "I could be like a professor."

"That takes a lot of school," Bruce informed him, "Bachelors and a PhD."

"That's ok," Jason murmured, "I like school."

"You're good at it," Bruce said sleepily, sinking back into his pillows. Jason in college. That was a nice thought to dwell on and he indulged in it for nearly ten minutes as he drifted into sleep. A small voice, so quiet it was barely a breath, broke the silence, and at first, Bruce thought it was part of his dream.

"Do you still love me, man?" It took Bruce a full minute to drag himself out of his dream and when he did, he clapped the lights back on, knowing full well it would annoy Jason but finding himself with a sudden need to look at the boy. Jason squinted into the light as Bruce pushed himself up so that he was sitting.

"Of course, I still love you Jason." Jason wouldn't meet his eyes. His gaze was fixed on his lap and his body was tense and quivering like a frightened horse. There were goosebumps all over his bare chest, juxtaposed with scars.

"I just…I know I've let you down and I…"

"You haven't let me down."

"Tonight?" Jason asked ruefully, finally looking up at him. Bruce made a dismissive gesture with his hand.

"That doesn't count. That's small. You let me down all the time in small ways." Jason gave him an incredulous look.

"Damn Dad, way to make a guy feel better."

"Well," Bruce grumbled, "this is what you get for making me have this conversation in the middle of the night. I'm more eloquent when I'm actually awake. I don't mean you let me down…I just…You disappoint me sometimes Jason but you're not...a disappointment. Does that make sense?" Jason shrugged and looked back down at his lap. Bruce considered him, his hair falling in his face and his back hunched slightly like a turtle trying to retreat into its shell. "Did you really think I would stop loving you?"

"I don't know man, we've just been fighting a lot. It's…it's different than it was when you first adopted me."

"I know," Bruce sighed, rubbing his eyes, "and it's not all your fault. I don't always know how to talk to you. It's different with you than it was with Dick, and I don't ever feel like I know what I'm doing anymore." They were quiet for a moment before Bruce looked up with an almost feverish light in his eyes. Despite all the anxiety and frustration he felt surrounding his relationship with the boy, one thing was absolutely certain and he reaffirmed it, a little more loudly and with less sleep in his voice than before. "But I still love you."

"As much as you love Dick?"

"Maybe…maybe even more." Jason looked up at him with shock. "I don't know," Bruce continued defensively, "and don't tell him I said that. Like I said, it's not the same with you. I don't think I love you more exactly, but I do love you…differently. Dick was more like my little brother but you're my…my son." Jason held his gaze for a long moment, his face completely unreadable, before returning his eyes to his lap.

"You know I hate it when you get all sappy on me, Dad," he mumbled but there was a small smile tugging at his lips.

"You started it," Bruce replied, his mouth quirked in a half smile, "You can't ask if I still love you and not expect a sappy response."

"I wish we didn't fight so much," Jason breathed, "I wish I wasn't so…"

"It's ok," Bruce said, "being a teenager is hard. I'll still be here when you've grown out of all that moody bullshit."

"I'm probably gonna pick a fight with you again tomorrow," Jason said softly.

"Yeah," Bruce agreed, "but I'll still love you. I'll always love you…maybe even a little more than I should." Jason surprised him then by closing the distance between them, his arms wrapping as far around Bruce as they could like he was trying to cling to a floating barrel in the middle of the ocean. Bruce was not sure when the last time Jason had really hugged him was but at that moment, it didn't matter. As badly as Jason might need this, Bruce thought he probably needed it more. He hauled the boy up onto his lap, big as he was, and wrapped his arms around him, squeezing him fiercely. Despite how much Jason had grown since he had adopted him, Bruce could still fold him easily into his embrace. It felt so natural having him there, so good to feel his warm skin, to press his face into that mass of auburn hair. He knew he should hold onto his anger a little longer, to make the boy understand why he had been angry. They needed to talk about it, but Bruce couldn't bring himself to. He never could with Jason.

"I love you too," Jason murmured, trembling in his arms, "and I'm sorry."

"I'm sorry," Bruce replied, "I know I'm not giving you everything you need but I am trying." Jason relaxed into his embrace and Bruce wished he could hold him like this forever, that things could just be alright between them. Jason finally pulled back and Bruce saw him discreetly wipe a few tears out of his eyes.

"Sorry I woke you up Dad," he said. Bruce shrugged.

"It's ok." He put a hand on Jason's face, brushing a thumb across his cheek, and kissed his forehead. "You can stay here tonight if you want," he said, "provided you quit bugging me. I know you don't like the rain." Jason shrugged and lay back onto the bed. Bruce clapped to turn the lights off, eliciting a groan from Jason.

"I'm getting rid of that thing," he grumbled as Bruce settled beside him.

"See, that might be the one thing that would make me stop loving you."

"That's all it would take huh, after all that shit about always loving me, the damn Clapper would ruin it?"

"I think so, as much as I love you, I love my Clapper more." Jason snorted.

"And you wonder why I'm all fucked up."

"No," Bruce grunted, stretching as he settled back onto his stomach, "I don't wonder. I'm fucked up too."

"That's for sure," Jason agreed, "running around dressed as a giant bat and all that." Bruce felt the bed shift as the boy rolled over on this side and gathered the blankets around himself. His next question was hesitant, but not so much as his previous ones. "Hey Dad, can I ask you one more thing before I let you go to sleep?"

"'Course you can Blue Jay."

"Am I…am I everything you hoped I'd be?"

"You're better."

"You promise?"

"I promise."